setting: episode 11 "I Ain't A Judas"

Damnation

Chapter 41 - War

There was a group meeting going on outside the cells, now that they needed to discuss what was going to happen after the whole Woodbury incident. Connor had told them everything he knew about the town and what they had done to him, done to Daryl, and after Glenn and Maggie were done telling them their whole story it was pretty much clear what they needed to do. They needed to leave. Even Connor agreed with that plan and so did many of the others, but Rick didn't seem to think the same way. Everyone was still pretty much standing by their cell except for Herschel, who was sitting on the stairs, Rick, who was standing close to him, and Connor, who had positioned himself close to the door which led to the dining hall in which they still kept Merle. Daryl's brother was watching them with his ever-present evil smirk, and it looked like he certainly enjoyed the kind of attention the Irishman was giving him. Because once again Connor wouldn't stop watching him, ready to hold him in place the second the older Dixon decided to do something stupid. Daryl was watching from upstairs, arms rested on the railing, eyes narrowed at Connor, obviously warning him with just that look.

Don't you dare.

Connor ignored his friend and pretended that he didn't exist. He eyed Rick instead, who was still talking to the others.

"We're not leaving" the policeman said matter of factly. Merle and Connor snorted.

Herschel shook his head.

"We can't stay here" he said and his daughter stepped closer.

"What if there's another sniper? A wood pallet won't stop any of those rounds."

"We can't even go outside" her sister joined in and walked down the stairs.

Carol, who was standing relatively close to Daryl nodded as well.

"Not in the daylight."

"Whatever we're gonna do, we don't have enough supplies and ammo fer anything. Fer neither staying nor leaving. Snipers and walkers out there or not, we need some people ta go out there, check the situation first, find the stuff we need, and then we can discuss that shit later. The longer we're sitting ducks here, the more likely another attack like yesterday's gonna be. Whatever we gotta do, I think we should split up" the Irishman suggested and everyone looked at him. Glenn was the one who spoke up then.

"And risk another bunch of people getting shot and overwhelmed? We lost too many people already. If Rick says we're not running, we're not running."

"No, better to live like rats" Merle joined in and Connor turned his head to glare at the older Dixon.

He approached him and looked at him through the bars of the door.

"You keep yer trap shut" he growled and Merle snorted.

"Or what, huh? You gonna clobber me t'death with a gold nugget?"

Connor hit the bars with his flat palm and was just about to say something to that when he heard Daryl shouting from upstairs.

"Leprechaun!" he yelled and Connor turned around to look up at his friend, who was shaking his head with an angry frown.

The Irishman growled and turned his head to look at Merle once more, to let him know that this was not over yet.
But Daryl's brother was already looking at Rick and the others.

"We should've slid out here last night and lived to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we? I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now."

The blonde MacManus stared at him but wouldn't say anything to that this time, simply because he knew that Daryl wouldn't let them fight and also because he kind of had to agree with Merle there. If those people were smart enough to use a van filled with walkers and snipers on their towers, then they sure were capable of that sort of warfare. Merle was right. They were pretty fucking trapped in here. Connor put his healthy hand on his hip and stared up at the windows but couldn't really see anything outside, but he was sure that there were some of the Governor's people out there. They needed snipers themselves. Snipers, food, weapons, people on watch. Standing here and just talking about it wouldn't protect them from anything.

"Yeah, we ain't scared of that prick" he heard Daryl say and turned his head to look at his friend, who was walking up and down top row of prison cells.

His brother wouldn't stop looking at the group.

"Y'all should be. That truck through the fence thing? That's just him ringing the door bell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot. He could just starve us out if he wanted to."

Maggie turned her head to look at Merle with an angry frown.

"Let's put him in the other cell block" she demanded and Connor folded his arms with a sigh.

"Look, 'm with ye on that. But we gotta admit that he's pretty much right. That truck through the fence idea..he might have the people and guns, but I don't think that he's the kinda person who just wants ta storm in here and kill us all. The starving thing sounds like a pretty good and efficient idea. And he looked like one insane and sadistic fucker. I'm pretty sure that he'd be capable of that. It might not be too late ta leave or try ta get some people outta here. We can't risk getting surrounded and overwhelmed. We need ta act now. We can take a couple of the riot suits from the walkers we killed when we took the prison. Send some of our people out there. Me, Daryl, Glenn, you, this asshole behind me."

Daryl nodded and looked down to face Rick.

"He's got a point."

"This is all you! You started this!" Maggie yelled and approached Merle, but Connor stepped between them.

"What is the difference whose fault it is? What do we do?" her sister exclaimed and looked at her father and Rick.

"I said we should leave. Now Axel's dead. We can't just sit here" the old farmer suggested, but once again Rick ignored everyone.

He tried to leave, but this time it was Hershel who had enough. He got up from the stairs and started yelling at him.

" Get back here!"

The policeman froze and everyone fell quiet, watching the scenario in surprise.

"You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why, but now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy, now you have to own up to that!
I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something."

Herschel and Rick just looked at each other for a long while, then the latter let out a sigh and rubbed his forehead.

"Alright..." he said and looked up to face the rest of the group with a nod.

"Alright" he muttered and then fixed his eyes on Maggie, who was preparing her handgun with an angry look on her face.

The policeman nodded once more and then approached her.

"Maggie, Connor, you take watch. Take the sniper guns, keep your eyes open, don't let your guard down, head down. Be careful - field's filled with walkers. I didn't see any snipers out there but keep watch just in case" he said and they both nodded. Rick then turned around to look at Daryl, who was making his way down the stairs.

"I'll get up in the guard tower. Take out half them walkers, give these guys a chance to fix the fences" he suggested and Rick nodded.

The Irishman stepped forward so he could stand closer to his friend.
Their newest member, the mysterious woman whose name was apparently Michonne, joined the circle as well and nodded.

"Or use some cars to put the bus in place" she added, but Herschel shook his head.

"We can't access the field without burning through our bullets."

Connor shrugged.

"We could stab all the walkers that are piling up on the inner fence and then I could slip through, kill as many as I can with a buncha knives just like last time.
We'd save the bullets fer potential snipers and wouldn't need so many people fer the killing part. Just let me handle it."

Daryl thanked him with that look again, the look that told him that his friend didn't like the idea at all.
But much to his surprise the hunter wouldn't say anything to that.
He looked at the others instead. Glenn put both his hands on his hips and bit his lower lip.

"But that still won't solve the real problem. There's barely any food or ammo. And one side of the prison is burst wide open. I saw it yesterday.
If the walkers can make it in here through there then this would also mean that the Governor's people have easy access to the tombs as well."

"Well then we'll just clear them out and seal it off. Been here before. We'll be all right" Daryl said and nudged Connor's chest, making it clear that he wanted to leave, but the group wouldn't let them just yet.

"That was when it was just us. Before there was a snake in the nest" Glenn said and Daryl froze.

Connor bit his cheek and rubbed his nose with a gentle sigh.

Here we go again he thought and turned his head to look at Merle, who was still watching them through the door.

"Man, we gonna go through this again? Look, Merle's staying here. He's with us now. Get used to it" Daryl growled and glared at Glenn.

Ever since they had returned to the prison both of them had a hard time being around each other.
Connor sighed and placed himself between them, back turned on Glenn and eyes fixed on Daryl.

"Just relax, aye? We can't exactly jump each other's throats now, we gotta stick tagether. Just try ta see it from his perspective, brother.
I doubt you'd be wanting ta sleep under the same roof with them cannibals after they attacked you. So really, maybe we should.."

"So let him sleep in the other cell block if he gets his panties in a bunch over.."

"Hey, don't.." Glenn interrupted Daryl and stepped closer so they could get into yet another argument over Merle, but Connor wouldn't let any of them speak.

"ALL I'm saying is that Maggie's right, okay?! We should isolate him fer a bit, see how that goes and then.." he spook up and tried to place a hand on Daryl's shoulder, but his friend shrugged him off with an annoyed growl and headed upstairs instead.

"T'hell with y'all" he growled and left.

Connor watched him disappear in their cell and rubbed his mouth with a tired sigh.

Glenn wouldn't let go.

"Seriously, Rick. I don't think Merle living here's really gonna fly."

"I can't kick him out" the policeman answered and Glenn got furious.

"I wouldn't ask you to live with Shane after he tried to kill you!"

The Irishman put a hand up to calm them down.

"Look, Glenn. I get what yer aiming at. I'm on yer side. Really. That fucker deserves a bullet ta his head if ye ask me, but you gotta understand Daryl here. Even after all the shit he's done ta you, other people and even Daryl, the guy's still his brother. His family. Ye can't just kick his brother out and expect him ta stay with us at the same time. It's either the two of them or none of 'em. And we can't exactly lose any more men these days. Not now. We need you, Daryl, and fuck, we even need Merle right now. And I think that fucker's gonna do whatever is necessary ta stay with Daryl. He may be an ass to him and us, but those two are still brothers."

Herschel nodded.

" He's right. Merle may be erratic, but don't underestimate his loyalty to Daryl. And he has military experience."

"What if we solved both problems at once? Deliver Merle to the Governor. Bargaining chip. Give him his traitor, maybe declare a truce" Glenn suggested, which made Connor snort.

"You really believe that shit's gonna work?" he asked and the Korean frowned.

"Why not?"

The Irishman folded his arms and leaned against the staircase.

"I don't think the Governor wants a traitor or anything. Hell, I get people like him. They're sickos. They don't wanna declare a truce. They started this war or whatever it is in the first place. He needs a traitor on the outside maybe, ta justify his actions in front of his people, but his mind's telling him something else. Psychos like him? Hosting death fights with walkers and keeping heads in aquariums and shoving walkers at handcuffed people and killing anyone who tries to get outta his town? He ain't out fer peace. He's out fer bloodshed. Murder. Torture. Why do ye think he kept people like Merle?" he asked and nodded at Daryl's brother. "No. Shit won't end with him going back there. I say that now that they're concentrating on the prison and mobilizing their weapons and fighters all around us, we should sneak our way back inside their town and kill that fucker. Come up with a nice plan, element of surprise, bullet to the head. Nice and easy. Hell, 'm an expert there. The sooner we get back in there the better."

Connor was pissed. Neither Glenn nor Rick would do anything about the problem just yet. They wanted to postpone his idea, think things through, try to make things work. They had asked him to keep watch instead, to maybe take out some walkers and do the whole sniper thing with Maggie. It was fucking ridiculous. He hated that he didn't get to say anything, he hated how stupid decisions and all the sitting around was probably going to kill them all. He should've walked away when he had the chance. That was all he could think about now. But of course he would never do that, because he didn't want to leave Daryl, and because it was still his job to protect Lori's children. He had promised her that after all.

On his way outside he had to pass Merle again, who was sitting on the field bed and was currently working on his new hand replacement, which happened to be a large and sharp knife. Once again the Irishman tried to ignore Merle's usual insults and teasing, and once again the older Dixon wouldn't let go. Connor had almost made it to the door when Merle finally hit a nerve.

"Darylena kinda looks like your dead brother, don't he?" he asked and the Irishman froze right where he was.

He turned his head to look at the other man, who was still sitting on his bed.
Connor couldn't really see Merle and what he was doing, but the redneck kept talking anyway.

"Skinnier. And a bit more faggy, though. Like some milksop" he went on and the blonde MacManus made his way back so he could face Daryl's brother.

"What did yer just say?" he asked in disbelief and widened his eyes when he saw what Merle was holding in his left hand.

"Got bit, didn't he?" the other man went on and chuckled.

"Where'd you get that?" Connor snapped and tried to get the photograph of him and his brother back, but Merle kept it out of his reach.

"Give it back, ye piece of shit!" the Irishman yelled and was just about to punch Merle again when the latter suddenly pointed his sharp knife at his belly.

"But I say t'you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable t'the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire" the older of the two men suddenly said and Connor stopped moving with an angry frown. Merle glared at him for a second longer, then he lowered his knife a bit and looked at the picture again.

"You're one of those Catholic fanatics. Aren'tcha. All them tattoos, the cross..the rosary."

The Irishman just glared at Daryl's brother, eyes concentrating on the picture every couple of seconds.

"What kinda sick games are ye playing here?" he asked and Merle chuckled.

"Figured that'd be the only way t'talk to you, mick."

Connor clenched his healthy hand to a tight fist.

"Give it back or yer gonna be spitting yer teeth out in a sec" he growled and Merle laughed and gave him that evil filthy grin.

"Oh I'd like t'see that. But first of all yah gonna listen t'me."

"And why would I do that?"

The older of the two pointed his sharp knife at the Irishman again.

"Cos you're gonna be picking your guts off the floor otherwise" he answered and Connor just snorted, but wouldn't say anything to that because he wanted Daryl's brother to keep talking.

"We ain't so different, you and me, you know. I might not be collecting gold nuggets, but I can see it in your eyes."

The blonde narrowed his eyes.

"I ain't nothing like ye."

Merle chuckled.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. But you got the same look. The eyes of a killer. I like that" he retorted and Connor wouldn't stop staring at him, eyes even more piercing than they already were. For the first time he seriously didn't get what his opposite was aiming at, so he just kept listening.

"You like to kill and torture people just as much as I do. Especially when sweet little D's precious life's at stake."

He looked at Connor's photo again and even dared move his finger's over Murphy's face, which snapped something in the Irishman's head.
He tried to dart forward to stop the older Dixon, but then Merle already pointed his knife at his guts again.

"The difference between you'n me is that I can kill yah worthless ass. Baby brother will be mad at me for a while, but he'll eventually get over you. He'll forgive me. Whereas you.." he went on and Connor was just seconds away from punching him. "Kill me and he'll never forgive you. Cos I'm his brother. But you already know all that, don't you?" Merle asked and grinned even more. He looked at the picture after a moment and fixed his eyes on Murphy again.

"So here's the deal, Virgin Mary. Darylena may look like your brother, but he ain't your kin. Never was, never will be. He's my baby brother. Don't think I didn't see what you scratched on his back. If I ever see yah near him again, if you ever touch him or call him brother or if yah ever try to turn him into such a pansy-assed, bible-banging potato-stuffed pussy like your dead brother, then I will cut you open and make sure you die real slow."

And yet another stare down commenced between the two men, and no one would give in.
Connor simply reached out to get his picture back, eyes still fixed on Merle's face, and if looks could kill then the older Dixon would be dead on the floor by now.

"You got no idea what yer getting yerself into" Connor muttered and eventually couldn't fight the aggressive and yet excited smirk that broke through.

The game was really on now. And he sure as hell wouldn't go down first.

"Now give me the picture, asshole" he went on and kept his hand up in the air.

Merle answered him with just the same blood-thirsty and intimidating grin and nodded.

"Very well then. Glad we share common interests, mick" he said, grabbed the picture and stabbed it with his knife without a warning.

He handed it over like that, impaled on the sharp instrument, and for a second the Irishman couldn't stop staring at it in shock. The blade had gone right through his grinning brother's face, which was now unrecognizable. Connor stared at the damage just for a second longer, then he absolutely lost it.

"I'll kill ye!" he roared as loud as he could and launched himself at Merle.

He grabbed the knife with his broken bandaged hand and broke it away from the older Dixon's stump. The field bed gave in under the men's weight as they got in a brutal fist fight, rolling around cursing and yelling and choking until the whole group stormed in to see what was going on. Neither Connor nor Merle were stronger than the respective other, although the blonde Irishman was a bit thinner and more battered because of his broken hand and bite wound. But it was the sheer fury that kept him going, the incredible heartbreak and hatred because the last image of his brother's face was just gone. He kept punching and kicking Merle like he had never punched a man before, and for the first time in his life he didn't want to shoot someone dead, no, he wanted to beat Merle to death for that. Beat, strangle and cut, because then he got hold of the knife again.

He was on top now, he held the upper hand, he could do anything to him right now. He was just about to stab the older Dixon when he suddenly felt how someone grabbed his hand mid-air and put an arm around his throat, as they tried to pull him back, pull him away from Merle who was trying to keep fighting him as well.

"Let me go!" he spat and tried to fight the tight grip around his throat, and when he looked up he saw that it was Daryl. He grunted and got hold of his picture as his friend dragged him away, and when he looked at it again he could see it. There was blood all over it from the fight, but that wasn't the worst thing about the damage. The cut was unmistakable and ugly, destroying the grinning figure of his beloved twin brother. He glared at Merle again, who was fighting Rick and Glenn's tight grip and kept yelling at him as well. The Irishman managed to point a finger at him, his knuckles covered with the older Dixon's blood.

"I'll fucking kill you!" he yelled, but fighting Daryl's grip was useless.