11111
Hello everyone. Before we continue let me quickly answer the question of a sequel. I haven't got any plans to continue this story I'm afraid. I have a few other unrelated things I want to write after this (and after a short rest, because I'm lazy like that). After those projects well... in all honesty I want to wrap this story up. I apologise if that's a disappointment but that's how it is. All I can suggest is enjoy the rest of this story and keep an eye out for new stuff.
After this there will be only one chapter left which I will post as one part regardless of how long (or short) it ends up being. 40 chapters is a nice round number to have I think.
11111
It was fair to say that the assorted magic users of the Unseen University had only very limited control over where their portal appeared. However by good fortune they managed to open it in a deserted study in the Denerim Palace some distance away from the Landsmeet Chamber.
As soon as it was made clear that Cohen, Rincewind and the Luggage would be leaving the whole team gathered. Zevran did so somewhat grudgingly, muttering about bad timing and interrupting his evening plan. Odin even managed to convince Alistair to stay in the same room as Loghain, although they stood at opposite ends for good measure.
On the other side of the Portal the staff of the Unseen University, having just finished a long lunch (only five courses given the situation) had secured their deepest and most secure chamber against any interference. They knew Rincewind and Cohen far too well to leave anything to chance.
The Portal was stable and the people of the two worlds looked at each other.
"Fascinating, Humans, Dwarves, a Golem and... is that an elf? So much different and so much the same..." pondered Ponder Stibbins.
"Well they certainly look like mages from our world, though perhaps a little more well-fed," Zevran muttered to Oghren.
Unfortunately that particular comment was heard.
"I can hear you young man," grumbled the Archchancellor "and we have earned a few creature comforts after all the effort we've put into this project."
Ponder had a look of resignation on his face as once again his colleagues all agreed that his work was apparently a joint effort. But there was no time for clarification.
"We have to get moving; this portal can't last forever."
The Archchancellor nodded in what appeared to be the agreement of someone who defiantly understood what was happening.
"Quite right, quite right, come on Rincewind you too Cohen it's completely safe."
Rincewind senses prickled.
"Completely safe?" the ever weary Wizzard asked.
"Well actually..." began Ponder.
"Completely safe," the Archchancellor cut in. "It will all work itself out."
Rincewind scowled but, as was so often the case in his life, he had no choice.
"Well," said Odin "this is it then. The three of you are going home. I assume there is no way for you to return?"
"Probably not," replied Rincewind "this only happened by a million to one chance, although though million to one chances seem to happen a lot to me. Well let's just say it would be extremely unlikely."
"What he shaid," Cohen added.
"I see," said Odin "In that case let me say that it was an honour to meet all of you. We could not have done without you."
Of course the Dwarf wasn't entirely sure how Rincewind helped, but he was a nice enough human and had been good company on the road. The Luggage and Cohen had also more than made up for Rincewind in usefulness, and body count.
"Yesh you could, you Wardensh aren't bad fightersh yourshelvesh," Cohen's judgement would be a source of pride for all the companions for years afterwards. After all it had come from a man who had slain hundreds of Darkspawn in a few weeks and killed a High Dragon in single combat; all in the twilight of his years, presumably.
11111
The farewells were lengthy and heartfelt, as well as somewhat incoherent and rambling, but the lamentations were undeniable. These goodbyes were frequently interrupted by the repeated protestations of the Wizzards. But the Warden's company had all fought together after all and certain friendships had been forged. The Luggage of course had been with the company from the beginning and received the most affection. Some like Sten, praised his warrior prowess, others noticeably Alistair lamented the loss of such a fine laundry service and general provider of everything one could possible need. But everyone agreed that their lives would be far duller without restraining such a psychotic piece of wood.
Cohen of course was thanked, not only for holding the bridge but all the fights he had been in. Shale waxed nostalgic about their cleanup operation on the streets of Denerim declaring it 'the most fun afternoon of skull crushing I ever had'. The mad old man's efforts were also acknowledged for securing the Scared Ashes. Eamon had personally thanked him once more for saving his life and gave Cohen a magnificent Redcliffe Shield.
For Rincewind his farewells were less about valour and about reminiscing about all the times he had run away and how well he could vanish at the first sign of danger. The Wizzard could only grin and bear it.
Amongst the many farewells, bittersweet as were, one was a unique in its manner, though no less heartfelt. As had happened a few times before the Luggage somehow managed to look sad despite the fact it lacked any kind of face. Still the Luggage and Poacher both understood what was about to happen and were saying their goodbyes in ways that no one else could translate, but the sentiment was clear to everyone.
Gifts were also given; Cohen got a great wolf pelt cloak made by Wynne and Leliana. Whether it was simply meant as a gift or was a subtle suggestion that the old man should cover up was left unspoken. Nevertheless the barbarian thanked both of the women kissing them on the cheek and giving Wynne a little squeeze. She blushed and gave him a coy grin. When asked about it afterwards she only said that Odin and Morrigan weren't the only ones to have company before the battle.
Wynne's sewing skills were also put to the test with the Luggage. Somehow the old Mage had correctly counted the legs of Luggage, everyone assumed by magic, and knitted a sock for each foot. Every single sock had a unique, and some might say garish colour and pattern. How Wynne found the time to make so many no one knew; as before the simplest explanation was just magic.
It was Odin who gave Rincewind his gift. He presented the Wizzard with a staff that had been...liberated during a battle. To Rincewind's surprise it gave off a faint glow the moment he grasped it. Perhaps he might even do some magic with it...possibly...just once.
The Luggage, being the being the Luggage also produced a small cache of wonders. Leliana got a beautiful silver lute. Wynne and Morrigan were presented with fine wrought necklaces, silver with sapphires and gold with rubies respectively. Zevran gained a dagger, the golden hilt decorated with a naked woman, which he admired carefully for several minutes before declaring his eternal love. Sten smiled broadly after being presented with a recipe book entitled 1001 Cookies, a Complete Collection. Shale received a large glowing crystal which she set into her back declaring, after looking in a mirror, that it was very sliming. Oghren, unsurprisingly was given a bottle of alcohol. The name read Tactical Nuclear Penguin, to which everyone questioned what on earth that actually meant, but it was unanimously agreed that it sounded suitably ominous. (This is a real beer, it is 32% proof) More surprisingly Oghren chose not to open it immediately and instead decided to save it for his reunion with Felsi. Loghain, who in all honesty did not expect any gift, received a set of Discworld maps. Like so many things from the Disc it raised far more questions than answers, but he enjoyed the craftsmanship nevertheless. Alistair found himself with a splendid new crown. Where it had come from no one could say but the griffins carved on it brought a smile to the new king. As for the sword Odin was gifted, it was a monstrously large two handed weapon that had clearly been made by an artist as much as a smith. The dragon motif on the ceremonial blade made the dwarf nod and grin in satisfaction. Finally the mournful Poacher got a gigantic fresh bone; no one could quite work out the animal from which it originated. Or why it had a small label on it that read "Property of the British Natural History Museum".
11111
"I do not mean to interrupt but Ponder tells me that the portal will shut within the next minute."
The Archchancellor's pronouncement brought the impromptu farewell ceremony to an abrupt end.
"Thish ish it then," said Cohen "Goodbye to you all. Your worldsh been good fun!" he steeped though the portal.
The Luggage got one last lick from Poacher and trotted in after Cohen.
Rincewind said his final goodbyes and gave himself a deep breath, his senses were tingling...
"Come on Rincewind!" yelled the Archchancellor.
He stepped though.
And so the three beings disappeared into the tear between the worlds. The breach lingered for a moment than it collapsed in upon itself, vanishing with a faint boom.
11111
Poacher howled as the portal fizzled out.
"They were a strange group, from an even stranger world," said Wynne.
"They were, but they helped us out all the same," Odin acknowledged, patting his forlorn dog in an effort to cheer him up. "I doubt anyone will forget them."
"Or believe us if we told anyone about them," added Alistair.
"But their names will be recorded in the memories and our histories for their heroism," Odin smiled, "we all will."
11111
Ponder Stibbins checked his calculations, it all checked out. He turned to the Archchancellor who was looking at him carefully.
"I believe the situation has been resolved."
"Splendid!" exclaimed the Archchancellor, "What an excellent learning curve this has been. Now, let us never do that again."
Everyone nodded in argument.
11111
The Wizzards of the Unseen University were congratulating each other on a job well done. They had successfully brought back Cohen and the Luggage from a different world completely unscathed and had now closed the portal. It was not until the drinks and cigars were being served in lounge that someone made a small observation.
"Where's Rincewind?"
11111
As he had so many months before Rincewind landed in a crumpled heap, face down. He should have landed on the stone floors of the unseen university, but the floor felt metallic.
Still rather disoriented he blearily looked around. It wasn't the university that was certain, the room he was in looked rather luxurious in pristine and rather cold sort of way. One side of the room had a large fish tank along it, although the fish inside seemed to be dead. Then he noticed the large bed in the corner.
The bed in question was occupied, and rather distracting.
Neither of the women had any clothes on and clearly been rather busy with each other, but both were now looking straight at him.
Whatever shock they might have had at the Wizzard's sudden arrival had now worn off. Their reactions could not have been more different. The one who had been underneath the other let out a rather undignified yelp and used as much of the bed sheet as possible to cover her skin, which for some reason was bright blue. The other one, immediately got up and grabbed what Rincewind assumed was a weapon, marched right up to him and pointed the object straight between his eyes.
The woman looked incredibly intimidating, helped by the faint patchwork of scars on her face, which in the light seemed to be glowing red. Contrary to what he first saw she was in fact wearing something...and it was pointed right at him.
"I'm Commander Shepard and you better have a damn good reason for ruining my evening."
Rincewind said the first thing that came into his mind.
"Oh for fuck sake!"
11111