A/N: sorry, I hadn't meant to take the week to update this... it's just there's a lot of stuff going on with my end! Thank you all so much for following, reviewing, and faving!
Let the fluffiness commence :)
Chapter 9
He didn't break off the kiss, and I find myself dizzy once more. The anticipation for what's to come crawls its way through my body, filling it up with need. A strong and powerful need that consumes my brain and heart.
I've missed him so much.
I want him so much.
And now it's like we're back in that... place, living our life, where the more I give into him, the more he reciprocates. Like nothing else matters. I push through the pain of my right arm, to touch more of him. His hair... his skin... anything I can get my hands on, trying so hard to rebuild our connection.
I can feel him holding me, touching me. His tentative fingers are scorching against my skin and his kisses are gentle.
I need so much more.
Don't stop... please don't stop.
I shift my kisses away from his lips and down his neck. His forest scent engulfs my nose. My hand acts on its own, massaging his chest lightly before I find the first button of his shirt.
"Wait," he says, slowly pulling back, but not by much.
I... don't want to. My heart is inches away from erupting from my chest. The heat of our bodies surrounds us.
"I can't," I find myself saying, "I can't just erase what happened between us, Draco. I feel it," I use my uninjured hand to place on his chest, right above his heart, "And it's not going away"
And before he can even say anything, I grab him to resume our kissing, not giving the interruption much thought. I'm too focused on... reconnecting with this man.
I feel Draco trying to resist me. So I kicked it into gear, utilizing my thoughts in the best way I know how.
No... no... I don't want to stop! I don't want to think about what's happening... I try to grip harder on his shoulders to hinder his escape, but it been futile. He reached up and pushed away my hand effortlessly.
"We can't ju-"
I didn't let him finish. I couldn't wait for him to finish. I didn't want to hear what it is he needs to say. To give me the reasons why we... shouldn't. My lips are fighting against his for dominance. But once again, he stops me.
I tried not to let his rejection hurt me.
"Bloody hell, Granger," he groans pushing me away, "As much as I would like to-"
"Don't say it's too soon," I whisper, sitting up. "Cause you and I both know, it's not. Hell, it's been murder without you-"
"And what about what I did to you? You can't just ignore that. I mean yeah it's all fine and dandy you're leaving Weasley, but let's face it, the bloody wanker has no boundary issues when it comes to you,"
"And you don't? Because I know you're quite possessive too, if not more than Ron!"
Draco sighs and looks to me.
"So why are you so insistent that I should hate you for what happened?! It was an accident! I didn't end up paralyzed or suffering from amnesia..."
"It's just-"
"Nothing!"
My breath is coming out in sharp pants. Draco's just staring at me.
"Or do you really think you don't deserve me?"
Reaching up, to take a hold of his shoulders, I pull myself closer to him.
"Don't cry," he runs his fingers along my cheek, gathering the tears upon the tips.
"But it hurts," I sniff. "What you're doing hurts me. You said... you didn't want that to happen, well stop it. Stop pushing me away and carrying on like nothing happened!"
It really does hurt. My heart feels like it's being ripped in half. Ripped, torn, and crushed into million pieces. It's getting harder to breathe. Harder to stay up straight.
"But something did-"
"I mean with us!" I curl my fingers in the fabric of his shirt. I try to control my breathing enough to get out what I needed to say to him. Each inhale feels like a stab in the back with a blunt blade. Crippling.
"You said you had them too. The dreams. So why... why do this? Why let one... incident take control over you? Don't you remember how you felt?"
My heart... is aching. Crying for the hope of our future.
He holds my head in his hands, staring into my eyes. His eyes are glossy with his own tears, but none fall.
"Of course I do..."
"Then stop this madness!" I pull myself forward, meeting his lips with mine for a second time, "You're only human, Draco, you're allowed to make mistakes! So please, just stop" and I kissed him yet again.
"Hermione..." he mumbles against my lips.
I can sense it... he's giving in and I suddenly feel very nervous. Like it's my first time, so exciting and at the same time scary. Wondering if I would I pass the test of being good enough, to have it happen again...
Just feel... just feel... I tell myself over and over.
Feel his lips against my neck, his hands... underneath my shirt, grazing my back...
A small gasp leaves me and my toes curl into the bed. My body just increased by ten degrees.
"You really need to stop those thoughts," he says, pulling back, and exhaling long, deep, breaths. "Or this will end way quicker than I want,"
"I can't help it," I whisper biting my lip, "You're the one who's invading my mind..."
Looking at him, I watch him drop his hand down to the dressing around my shoulder. It's also the moment I realized the sleeve of my shirt is missing. Obviously he severed it to get to the wound.
"Or maybe-"
"It's fine" I push his hand away, "There's no pain! You took very good care of me. So... um... can we continue? I'll... I'll promise to keep a clear head."
His lips twitch to a smirk. Oh God, how I've missed that smirk. The one that weakens my knees and makes my heart race. But his eyes... What is he thinking about this time?
"You...are so incorrigible"
"I just know what I want," I sigh, reinforcing my hold on his arms, "And I want you." And on more than one level... I just... love this man so much.
To prove my point, I kissed him once again, then I begin to unbutton his shirt. He pushes me back just as quickly, staring at me with wide eyes.
"Did... you just say...you love me?"
I sniff and braved a look to his eyes, "Well I thought about it... but yes," I say without skipping a beat, "And I will say it again if I must. I love you, Draco. Ever since I woke up."
We kissed again.
I am happy when he doesn't push me away this time. In fact, he pushes into me, and I fall back on the bed. I yank the shirt off his shoulders. He pulls back a second time, shrugging the material from his body.
Tilting my head just a bit, I admire him, and smile. He's just like how I remember. Draco shakes the hair out of his face before dropping down, hovering over me as he stares into my eyes. I want to touch more of him, but Draco laced our fingers together, preventing me from doing so.
"Me too, love, I swear it on Salazar's Grave, I love you too," he whispers before he leans back down to kiss me.
My body fills up with joy and my heart takes off madly from his words. I arch toward him, gripping his waist to keep close, reveling from feeling the muscles underneath.
I hear him sigh, and his fingers dance along my arms and waist before leaving my person completely. Sitting back up he reaches for the wand on the nightstand then points it at my chest, muttering the Severing Charm, ripping my shirt right in half. He peels away the torn pieces.
The sudden cool air erupts goosebumps all along my torso, "Was that really necessary?"
Draco flashes me a grin and does it again, with my bra.
"Yes. Don't want to jar anything in your newly healed arm, do you?" he pulls it away too, leaving me bare before him.
"You can't," I reach over to bring him close to me again, "That's only for when I decide to Apparate..."
"Semantics" he said, before dipping his head down to kiss along my jaw line. His wand making quick work with the rest of my clothes, and then did the same with his...
I wake to the sound of rain drops against the window. It's still dark outside, confirming to me that it's still late.
My stomach growls. The sound is loud and soon I hear something stir behind me.
Looking over my shoulder, I see Draco his stomach, facing me, sleeping. The lamp on the side table gives his body an angelic glow.
I'd never felt so happy in all my life. A part of me wanted to wake him up. To run my fingers through his shaggy locks of hair, and have another round of intense love-making.
I blushed at the last thought. I remember vaguely how forward I had been on that last day of the dream... where it had been the first time I said those three glorious words. Words, he had said... just a few hours ago.
Love.
He loves me. And I, him.
Which I suppose is what made our conversation so... emotional to begin with. But I am glad we had it. Cause now, there's no turning back. We can actually work on rekindling our relationship. Our understanding of each other...
Of course there's still Ron... and Harry and Ginny to take into consideration. But they'll just have to grow to accept it.
I still can't believe Draco sent off that note with those two words. Two words I never even used in all my life, despite how angry I've been. My parents taught me better than that.
Oh God, telling my parents will be brutal. They only think I'm taking a break from Ron and the other Weasley's. Waiting and hoping that one day I will just slip back into that life and yet... here I am, in bed with another man. A man who I've grown to love with all of my heart... the very man every one of my age hates.
But they will grow to like him, just as I have...
I feel the tell-tale signs of my body as it slowly wakes up, and I find myself wanting him... again.
But he looks so peaceful, I didn't have the heart to wake him up.
My stomach growls once more. Louder this time.
"Hungry?" He whispers, and I almost knocked myself out of the bed from hearing his voice.
After a few shortened breaths, I watch him lift his head to look at me, grinning. A part of me has that sinking feeling that his 'hunger' comment had nothing to do with food...
"I thought you were sleeping..." I say turning away from him. I don't like that look he's giving me at all.
"Well..." I hear him shift, but I don't look back this time. He brushes away my hair from my shoulder, "I was until you said something about... wanting me again?"
Bollocks. So he had- no. Don't. It's best to just ignore it.
I can see him check my dressing out of the corner of my eye. Heck, I can see his eyes burrowing into my side! So I distract myself with watching the water droplets pelting at the window, catching the odd flash of lightning.
"What time is it?"
He pinches my ribcage, making me jump high into the air, "AH!"
I collapse on my side.
"You dare to ignore me?" he teases and then he crawls over me, in the same position he was in earlier when we... um... reconnected.
He raises on eyebrow at me, "Is that what you're calling it now?"
I push him hard in the stomach, causing him to grunt. I can feel my stomach eating itself, "Get off me and go and get me something to eat!"
"Ordering me around in my house are you?" He says kissing my jaw.
"All part and parcel of taking care of me" I grip on his shoulders, trying to push him away. But it been my growling stomach to scare him off.
"Alright," he says, brushing his thumb against my cheek, "Twist my arm, why don't you,"
After he repairs his trousers and slips on, he leaves. For that moment I sigh staring up at the ceiling, then I go to check the time on my mobile phone. Just after two in the morning. I further went to check my messages, seeing a bunch from Mum.
I feel a sudden chill and so I pull up more sheets around me. I wonder what exactly Draco said to her in the letter. What... lie he told her.
It's here, that Draco came back, with a tray of fruits.
He slides back into the bed with me, offering me the tray.
"You call this making me something?" I say helping myself to some apple slices.
He raised one finger to me, "You never said I should," joining in on picking at the fruit. "Only to get you something,"
"So... it's my fault? Well then... you don't get to have any," I pick up the tray and turn my back on him, but Draco stops me half-way. Putting his hand right on my waist.
And his hand is ice-cold.
"Yikes!"
Turning my head over my shoulder to glare at him, he just flashes me a wicked grin, "You're so warm..."
"Get those away! You're making me cold"
He picks at more of the fruit, "That's the idea, love"
I gasp. He called me... he...
He kisses my neck, sending pleasurable waves waltzing down my spine.
"Draco... I'm trying to eat,"
I feel his lips twitch against my skin, "I know... I can wait,"
"Well wait further away, will you? It's very hard to do this when you're doing that,"
But damn did I, miss this. Missed... us.
He added his hands into the mix, gently massaging my spine, and didn't let up until the last piece of fruit was gone. But now I am far too... wound up to just sleep.
Prat.
Draco gives me a knowing smirk, before he pushes away the tray. It lands on the floor with a loud clang, rivaling the claps of thunder from the storm outside. Before he captured my lips in a heated kiss.
Yes... he really is addicting.
Morning
Tap. Tap. Tap.
The noise startles me awake. At first I see nothing but the shining sun. The bright blue sky. I see an owl on the windowsill, pecking away at the frame. It's Harry's new owl, Lola.
Great... just the morning call I needed. More judgements.
I roll over, realizing for the first time that Draco isn't in bed with me. No note either. Where could he have gone?
Oh no, please don't tell me yesterday hadn't been a mistake. I know he was hesitant at first but I... I...
Oh God, I practically threw myself at him, didn't I?
No wonder...
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Blast that owl. I check the clock on my phone. It's just past eight in the morning.
Pushing through the stiffness of my arm, I gather the covers with me, as I shuffle my way over to the window, thrusting it open to fetch the letter. I hesitate once I see my name poorly written on the envelope.
That's not Harry's writing.
It's Ron's.
Well... crap. He can't even give me one day?
"Now that is a vision I can live with, for the rest of my life,"
I jump from hearing Draco's voice. Lola squawked and rustled her feathers.
"Holy hell, you scared me!"
I set the letter down and faced Draco. He's... shirtless and... his hair is all over the place. Charming. Then I noticed he brought me breakfast! So I guess this answers my question of where he went this morning.
I chew on the inside of my lip. He brought me breakfast in the dreams too...
"Yes, a cooked meal this time. What's that you got there?"
I'd been too busy admiring him, I didn't get the chance to hide the letter. Heck, it wasn't until Draco whistled and waved his hand in my face did I actually move again.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
Draco broke into a wide grin, "The letter, who sent it to you?"
"Oh..." my voice became very high, "Uh, Ron... he uh, sent it to me" I tucked one strand of hair behind my ear, before engaging Draco's reaction.
"Burn it," he growls, setting the tray down on a nearby table.
Blinking. I stare him, not really sure if I heard him correctly. "Sorry?"
"You said he yelled at you yesterday, don't think I've forgotten that..." he motions to the letter, "And that's his apology? Trust me it's best to just burn it."
Staring down at the letter and then turn to look at Lola. She meets my gaze with her blue eyes.
"He's expecting a response. I can't just ignore-"
"Fine," Draco sighs, leaving my side to rip off a piece of the parchment, "Fuck you," he says while writing the words.
"Draco!"
I try to stop him from sending it, but he used his arm to prevent me from getting any closer. Using his other hand, he rolls up the note and ties it to Lola, feeding her a treat before she takes off in the air.
I glare at him, "I can't believe you just did that!"
He shrugs and then turns back to me, "Well you want to give the message that he's dug the grave of your relationship..."
"Yes, but there were more... adult ways to go about it!"
"Right because he was rather mature yelling at you and everything," he curls his arm around my middle. The warmth from his hand signals to me just how cold I am.
"You're freezing. You should go back to bed..."
"I'm fine," I try to push his hands away from me. I will not let him distract me. Not after what he just did! I'm mad at Ron yes, but he didn't deserve that. I went to see what he had actually wrote to me.
I'm sorry Hermione. I didn't mean to make you cry. I didn't think about what I said until it was too late. I understand that this thing with Malfoy-
Draco snatches it from me before I could read anymore.
"Draco!"
I turn around to try to get it back from him, but Draco just dodges my attack with ease.
"Yes he did deserve it. He made you cry, so the bugger will have to suffer the consequences. Now please, get back into the bed and have the food I brought you. Don't make me use force..."
I raise one eyebrow at his words. Force? Draco eyes me up and down, then wags his eyebrows. I feel the heat rush to my face.
I really hate it when he does that.
I need to stay angry with him!
"Forget it" I growled in return, "I need to call my parents."
"There's no need for that." Draco says, covering my hand with his. "I told them you're staying with a friend for the weekend...and will ring them Monday"
Turning right around, I stare at Draco with shock.
"What? You said- I mean you told them that I... what?! How are they okay with that? They only just allowed me to leave the house on my own!"
"Well yeah it took a bit convincing on my part, but check for yourself..." He strolls over to his desk. "She sent this,"
I grab the parchment and read the words before me.
Hermione,
Okay I understand, you're a big girl. Of course it's okay for you to spend the weekend with your friends! Although your Father says otherwise, I say go for it. It's good for you to get out of the house and spend time with the ones you grew up with at school.
See you Monday!
With love,
Mum.
Hmm... I suppose... it's not too bad...
I am still annoyed with him going behind my back!
"When did she send this?" I look back to my phone, still trying not to look at Draco.
"Just after she asked about dinner. Speaking of food..."
Draco takes my phone from me, ignoring my protests and guides me over to the bed.
"Your breakfast is getting cold,"
After a very quiet meal... and a lot of silent treatment on my part... began my weekend with Draco.
A weekend filled with long conversations, more forgiveness and silent treatments... some dining... and other activities leaving me unable to walk. Usually.
Ron hadn't bothered to contact me again, nor did Harry or Ginny for that matter.
I suppose Draco's... tactless response scared them off...
Swell. Now I am in a bigger hole than I started out with.
Then came Monday.
I really didn't want to leave, but Draco had business to do overseas and according to the letter, I told my parents this is the day I would return back home.
"Mum, Dad, I'm home,"
Tossing my keys to the counter, I walk around the open space searching for them. Their office's closed on Monday's so not seeing them right away is a bit surprising.
"Hello, Hermione..."
I turn right around.
Harry is standing right in my living room.
"Harry...?"
He strolls over with his hands in his pockets. His expression is completely blank.
"Um... this is a surprise."
Harry nods, "Yeah your Mum let me in on her way out to the store, said you were just on your way back from a friend's house." I see his green eyes flicker as he strokes his chin. "Funny enough, I know all your friends, as they are my friends too... and I doubt it was your Healer, so that leaves only... one person."
My heart stills and Harry stares at me. I don't like where this is going... at all.
"And... I'll try to ask this as delicately as I could...were you with Malfoy?"
A sigh passes my lips, "Harry..."
"Just... answer yes or no, Hermione. Please? I'm going to ask you why you were with him, just... tell me if you were."
Seconds ticked by... then minutes... or what felt like minutes.
I nod once, "Yes... I was."
Harry shuts his eyes, "So then... that confirms it..."
Gulping, I try to keep my focus on Harry.
Harry shows me the torn piece of parchment, "Lola gave me this instead of Ron because she knew you weren't the one who wrote it. Just uh... little spell Kingsley taught me the other day. It's uh, to detect plagiarism and uh... untrustworthy sources."
Untrustworthy comment aside, I feel a weight lift up from my shoulders. So Ron hadn't read it.
Good. I still have a... chance to end things graciously.
"Doesn't mean Ron isn't going mad with worry as it's been... three days since he wrote you..."
"What, you haven't talked to him since?"
"No, he just asks me everyday... if I've seen Lola..."
Harry whistles and Lola, been on the window this entire time, flies over to me. "I'm going to leave her with you, so you can send Ron your response."
"Thanks. Say Harry... you're not going to say anything about this to anyone, are you?" I lick my lips, my eyes pleading with Harry's. Please. Please don't say anything!
"What... you do with your business Hermione, is just that. Your business. Just... don't forget to write him, okay? No matter how... upset you are. He uh... he wants to hear from you..."
"Right... of course."
I pull out Ron's letter from my pocket.
I was surprised when Draco didn't burn it, like he wanted me to, so it gave me the chance to actually read it.
I give a smile to Harry just before I lead him out of the house.
Taking a deep breath, I glance down and read what Ron wrote.
I'm sorry Hermione. I didn't mean to make you cry. I didn't think about what I said until it was too late. I understand that this thing with Malfoy is weird, but we'll get through this...
I take a seat down on my couch.
We always get through things, that's what makes our love so... so strong. Not that I am trying to scare you off or anything, I'm just trying to stay honest, just like you taught me too. Mistakes happen. Mum always takes off her ring when she's washing dishes, and... I remember that you do that too! I let the jealousy take over and just... well, you know... ugly. I hate fighting with you, always have... so I hope you can forgive me.
Auror training is horrendous. I'm paired up with Seamus and well.. you remember how he was at school right? Always blowing things up without any control? Oh yeah... great fun.
I smirk at this. Yes... I remember the fifty feathers Flitwick gave Seamus before he mastered the Hover Charm...
But the job is very rewarding. Harry is working with Cho... much to Ginny's dismay. Not that she has anything to worry about, the bloody bint is a weeper. Oops, sorry, shouldn't have written that. Anyway, just take care alright?
Take as many weeks as you need.
Ron
A small tear runs down my cheek. Oy... breaking it off with Ron will be harder than I thought.
E/N: weird place to leave it at, I know... but it works. I thought about having Ron read Draco's tactless note, but... went against it in editing... this works.