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Music:

Toen ik je zag – Antoni Kamerling (Dutch; translation 'When I saw you'; translation lyrics in separate 'story')

We were just not meant to be – Jean Chang (check youtube)

I'll know – Ilse Delange (Dutch)

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Chapter 24: Collin – Lost

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Life was good for most of the time. There was peace and everyone was well. My little brothers, hah, those irritant buggers, they weren't bad, we got along. I was used to their twin link and understood even better now they were 'pack'. Goofing around less now, especially after the Volturi encounter.

Well, not so much that they stopped, no way, still able to drive me crazy sometimes, tire me out. Ah, I liked watching other people more. During recess in the school yard for example. Brady talking about girls always amused me. He'd become so full of himself. His confidence though, earned him some kisses. And, apparently bragging rights (eye-roll).

I wasn't looking at girls myself. My mind wasn't on them in my class. The only female for me was out of my league. I knew that, even more now she's in another pack. But I just can't help myself. I've loved her the moment I first saw her. Leah Clearwater. My god she's a goddess, how can anyone else compare? Her shiny black hair, swaying as she moved gracefully. She carried herself with pride, even though Sam broke her.

I was so angry with him for doing that! If I just had been older, I might have been the one to console her. But of course not, I was the silly kid, staring at her with goo-goo eyes. The one with the crush to be made fun of. Paul loved to do that, until my brothers joined us. They stood up for me and I was grateful.

Before, when I just joined our protectors, I was struck by her bitterness. She was so angry with life, with everything she'd been dealt. Silently I let her know I'd have her back, sent her positive feelings. At first she wouldn't have it, snarling at me to get lost. I was persistent though and could tell when she gave in a little, let it ease her pain just a bit. I was fine with my role in her life, now I finally had one.

Until that faithful day when Jake broke away. She saw her chance and ceased it. No more Sam. Those months leading up to the big stand-off, all the guys were relieved to have her out of their minds. Not me, but it was for the best, of course. The change in her demeanour was already evident after one week.

And now, about eighteen months later, she was happy again. Alright with herself and looking more radiant than ever. I've seen her laugh! Her smile, the light in her eyes, it blew me away! Still I couldn't get closer. I had to face facts, my love would never be returned. That was hard, with her working at school this year.

I'd get to see her every day… and keep my distance. Through an open door, as she prepared a biology class with Mr. Brooks. Until her posture changed because she noticed me. I quickly moved outside. - Sigh -. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I wasn't sure. One thing could stop this for real, if it happened to either of us. I hoped it would be me then, to stop the longing. She wanted it to happen to her too, so she'd finally be able to move on for real.

I sat on a bench and checked the students around me. Many were sitting in groups, talking and eating. A few of my pack mates played basketball. Some girls to my left started giggling. Phoebe and her friends caught me looking and batted their eyes. They always did that and it made me uncomfortable. I don't why, but a shiver ran through every time.

There was something about them which told me not get too acquainted. Maybe it was their gossiping and spreading false rumours. All wolves have been a topic once or twice. I turned away and zoned out. When I came back my brothers had joined me. Adam nudged me; "thinking about her again?" "Among other things," I answered. They stayed quiet and followed my lead while I continued my previous activity.

Seth was in a corner on the other side of the yard, chatting with Lily. I couldn't really catch what about, but he seemed nervous. Was he planning on asking her out? A year or more ago I wouldn't be surprised, but now? He wasn't interested in her anymore, I was sure of that, Brady even mentioned him stating that as a fact. So why then? He blushed several times while he asked her questions.

I shook my head. It's none of my business. I just hoped no one would end up hurt. - Sigh -. Love was complicated. Beside me Will chuckled. "You worry about others too much, he said, let her go and take some advice from Brady." I scowled at him. "Why should I listen to you?" You're younger than me and haven't even considered girls yet." He just shrugged. I rolled my eyes. Maybe they saw too much of Paul's thoughts.

Early October I took my seat in Tribal History. Mrs. Brownstone waited in front of the class until everyone was in. Next to her stood a man who seemed to be in his mid twenties. He was of Native American descend, that much was clear. A guest speaker? Whispers in the room made me think so, others were speculating. The girls seemed to think he was handsome. I studied him more closely. Yeah, I guess he looked alright. With his build and height, around six foot three, he could almost be one of us. Nahuel also popped in my mind. He was calm and relaxed as he surveyed the class. His dark brown eyes had green flex in them.

"Now everybody, Mrs. Brownstone called, settle down." Today we have a guest speaker from the Tlingit tribe in Alaska." Please welcome Mr. Jacy Yuma Whitebear." A mild applause erupted for a few seconds. Our teacher moved to a chair in the corner and observed. The guy preceded to talk about his tribe and why he was here now.

"I'm the youngest of four boys, my father is the chief," he told us. "He's preparing my oldest brother, Dasan V, to take over in a few years." Our tribe has similar myths and legends to yours." We believe in spirits too and that they are there to protect us." When our ancestors faced a strong enemy, spirits would change into fierce animals, fighting at their side." There are even stories of such an animal changing into a human." To protect a human they got attached to."

We were all hooked, he was good at this and I really saw the similarities. He talked more about one sprit, Nahele, guardian of the forest, who took the shape of a polar-bear to fight on the open plains of snow and ice. He was strong and formidable. A beautiful young woman, Ogin, caught his eye as he saved her from being kidnapped. She was frightened and in awe from his animal form. He didn't want that and forced himself to change into a human. After that they didn't want to part ever again. – Sighs were breathed around the room as he finished. This story was every bit as good as the one of Taha Aki.

We hadn't noticed our teacher going to the door. The sound of it opening made Brady and me look. A table with tribal objects was being wheeled in by Leah. Seeing and smelling her lovely scent made me smile instantly. As she reached the front of the class, things went into slow motion. Jacy thanked her and they locked eyes…. The stare, her breathing, it said enough, I knew right away. Imprint.

My world shattered silently. I couldn't breathe or even close my eyes. Forced to watch as she blinked and he asked her name. They shook hands and he held hers a few seconds longer, as if he was going to kiss it. The lump in my throat chocked me and I couldn't help myself. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, vaguely registering Brady making excuses for me. Most of my lunch ended up in the toilet. It was over, I'd lost her, even though I never really had her in the first place. The hurt was still real.

Avoiding her, them, became my mission afterwards. Not easy, as she convinced him to stay for a while of course. It was sickening to see them kiss all to soon. Holding hands and hugging as much as possible. The bliss on her face and relief. I needed time to accept this. When Halloween was close, I felt better, focussing on other things.

Doing the Tai Chi exercises May taught us helped me a lot. To calm down for one. And relax. Paul, Matt and Brady made fun of it, but I didn't care. This boy was done being a push-over, a softy. No more looking at others, I was going to take care of myself, put myself first. Yes, what did I want? Thinking about the future wasn't something I did very often, but now I would.

The beach was a good place to do that. Especially when it's deserted because of impending bad weather. Three days to a big party, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. Strolling along the sand was nice, the wind whipping in my face. Together with the ocean it drowned out almost all other sounds. At the farthest northern tip of First beach was a small corner among some dunes, protected from a lot of the elements. A perfect make out spot.

I slowed down as I got closer to it. Ugh, no, let's stay clear of that. Familiar voices and a whiff of their scents made stop dead in my tracks. Seth and May? No, that couldn't be. From what I managed to catch, their talk was pleasant and I imagined them holding hands. Huh? Confusion took over.

I shook my head to clear it. - Sigh -. I didn't want to know and I turned around quick to make my escape. Do not get involved! My brain said. If Seth was still sharing our pack mind I would have to care, but as it is now, I could leave it. No new drama in my life, no sir. I decided to forget about it completely. No one needed to be bothered with this. Anyway, they were having a private moment and I would be intruding.

Though I wondered still, a relationship between two opposites, could that work? What if Seth imprinted? May would be so hurt, a scorned vampire. Not good, we've seen it with the red-head and Irina. Worse than a bitter she-wolf. Still, she was different, kind and caring. How would she handle it then? She must've thought about it.

Was Seth like Jake? That suddenly occurred to me. The other alpha had been sure he wouldn't imprint at the time. If so, Seth might be begging her to try and have sort of a relationship. I could see that. And if they weren't meant to be, I think she'd be able to let him go. His happiness was very important to her, all ours was. So selfless.

But she wouldn't stay. She could leave, unlike Leah, before she found the one. (which wasn't me) I'd understand if she wanted to create distance and let them be. People would miss her though, a lot of them, me too. May…, no longer around. NO, it would be unacceptable! And that realisation left me no choice but to monitor them. Without anyone finding out.

I decided on another thing, I wanted to see Sophie. I went to Sam and Emily the next day. They hesitated, but after I kept on arguing and pleading for half an hour, they gave in. She was in her play-pen and I picked her up gently. Waving her little hands she let out a giggle. Such a wonderful child, I'd be proud to be her guardian.

She looked up with her sparkly eyes and met mine. – Nothing – No earth shifting thing with cables. I just thought she was adorable. And I guess I expected that, there was Clearwater in my bloodline after all, which made me related in some way. We researched that with our vampire sister. Still it was a relief for all of us. For me, that made me feel a bit guilty next.

The following days I tried to figure out what I wanted to wear for the party. The Cullens rented the same place in Port Angeles as before, with May's birthday. It was a huge basement beneath a club. Big enough for all of us, with plenty of space to breathe. And private. I was looking forward to it, and no one would be singing this time. (I hoped) Yeah!

After some thought I decided on a Green Arrow-costume, with the hood. I knew there would be more superheroes. A chuckle escaped me, Emmet would be Thor. Several mothers rallied together to make our costumes, so they fitted perfectly. They wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Mine felt good, easy to move in. I'd lose the bow and arrows soon though, they'd be in the way.

At the party we, from La Push, arrived separately from the Cullens. We drove all the way to the club, the rain was heavy. Two stairways lead to the middle of the basement. One from the girls dressing rooms, the other from the boys' side. The girls all took their time while we waited. Surprisingly, May was last to come down. All of us without partners waited at the bottom the stairs.

When she appeared, you could hear jaws drop. The Cullens knew what she would look like, but the rest didn't. Her beautiful strapless green and purple dress flowed in waves to the ground, light as a feather. She wore loose sleeves up to half her upper arms. They were long and from the same material as the dress.

Her long silver white wig and pointy ears gave away what she supposed to be; an elf. To be more specific, she was her name-sake, Timmain, from the comic book. Her bright yellow eyes fitted so well with this. Topping it off was a wolf-necklace. Lightly she descended the stairs, the dress and sleeves flowing like a banner behind her. She seemed on air and we couldn't look away. Smiling wide at our faces made her even more beautiful. Reaching the bottom she turned to Seth, dressed like male elf from the dessert village. No wig though. May walked to the middle and we followed. She raised her hand and the music started.

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Not as long as I'd liked, but maybe I'll make another chapter later with Collin's POV.

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Note:

Leah's imprint: Jacy (means 'moon') Yuma (means 'chiefs son') Whitebear (self-explanatory). He's 25 years old.

Dasan V, his name means 'chief', the v stands for the roman number 5 (the fifth)

The story of the spirit: Nahele means 'forest', Ogin means 'wild rose'. I made that up, the basics of spirits changing into animals and humans came from internet, as I researched tribes in Alaska.

You want to know what May's costume is like? Search on Google, under 'Timmain'.

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Question: should someone imprint on Sophie? If you say Yes, who shall it be; Matt, Lucas or Danny?