Sorry for the long wait. Birthdays and my new part-time job took some time. I dedicate this chapter to GodisGood3.
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Music:
Can't stop this thing we started – Bryan Adams
If you're not the one – Daniel Bedingfield
Just the way you are – Bruno Mars
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Chapter 25: Seth - Choices
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It was almost winter, two weeks until our break from school. I was laying on my bed, but wasn't really sleepy yet. My mind wandered, thinking about a lot of stuff. In the end though, I always returned to May. How I loved her and I didn't hide it anymore. Our first kiss.
And then, Embry…. I played back 'the conversation'. "You kissed her!" I snarled at him. He came out of his daze. 'Yes, he shot back, so what, you have no claim on her!' 'And she asked for it, he added. 'To know what it feels like.' I felt betrayed. 'Oh, come on, he said gently, it meant nothing, in fact it was weird.' Okay?' My pack-brother played back their conversation afterwards. That calmed me down. I could see her expression, how awkward she felt. His feelings were clear too.
And I couldn't help myself to play back my own memories of the kiss. Embry was very surprised. 'You kissed her before I did. 'Wow, it really felt that spectacular?' No weirdness at all?' I shook my head. 'No, it was like it was meant to be,' I answered. He wasn't mad at the fact he'd been used as test-subject. Right up front he knew he had no romantic feelings towards her. And he had an inkling about us becoming closer. He'd just been curious about kissing a vampire.
A sigh of relief had escaped me. Of course I'd have to talk to May about this. Our kiss had really been her first ever, that was clear. I guess she was a bit like Bella in that respect. No, wait, we were like Edward and Bella in reverse, sort of. Ugh, that felt strange, thinking along those lines.
The next thing that entered my mind was Carlisle's startling revelation. The key part to my puzzle, her losing the worst of the vampire traits. I was as happy as she was, but pushed it down. We weren't talking about our budding relationship yet. The whole deal was another sign for me; we were meant to be together. What other reason could there be? When the ones with a heartbeat filed out to go home and sleep, May followed me at a distance.
A few miles away we stopped in the woods. "Seth…," she said softly. Just my name, one word and it held so many emotions. "We need to talk, she continued, about a lot of things." I turned and faced her. "Yes we do, I replied, about more than your father's test." The look in her eyes said she understood my meaning.
We decided on her meditation cave, a very private spot, tomorrow. Meeting well away from prying ears, we walked together side by side. At one point I took her hand and she was okay with it. A wave of happiness washed over me. The entrance of the cave was hidden behind some shrubs and a big rock. May moved it with ease.
The short, narrow passage in loomed, it was just big enough for me. Luckily the rest of the space was clearly visible, round and cosy. She lead the way with a torch. Inside she turned on a lantern from The Outfitters Store. The soft light illuminated a thick blanket to sit on. We used it, sitting down together.
"So, she started, Embry couldn't keep it to himself." A faint, half smile formed on her face as she looked me in the eye. Unsure of how I'd taken it. I took a breath and showed her I wasn't mad. "I admit it hurt at first, I explained, but he showed me the whole encounter, why you did it." Her hand moved on top of mine. "Yeah, she sighed, I needed something to compare our kiss to." And now I feel it was even more amazing."
The love in her eyes as she smiled wide, it made me speechless. We just stared at each other for a minute. I didn't expect her next question. "How did it compare to kisses you've had?" The back of my hand went to her cheek without thinking and gently grazed it. That special, merging sensation followed my movement. "I don't know, I answered, it was my first kiss ever also." Her eyes widened in surprise.
"What, why?" she exclaimed. "You're sweet, handsome and more, how come it never came to that?" I felt a blush creep up at her praise. "I'm not sure, I answered, I was shy and maybe I've been waiting for the one." May was now reacting, blinking rapidly, averting her eyes. When she met mine again, she was serious. "You should still kiss someone else, she suggested, to feel the difference."
My jaw dropped a little. "What! No!" I won't and can't." Because kissing another vampire wasn't an option, no one was free. Her thumb brushed over my hand. "I know a vampire isn't really a possibility, without it being awkward, she responded calmly, but there must be a human girl." I shook my head. "Please, she pleaded, I think you really need to know." Determination was in her gaze. With a big sigh I decided to give in, for now. It was hard to resist those bright eyes.
I moved on to another subject, to her. I asked her why she never had a boyfriend. She thought about it for a moment. "Well, like you, I'm not sure either, she said. "I wasn't interested in boys for a long time." You know I'm kind of a tomboy." May grinned.
"When I did start to notice them a little, we moved to China, she went on. "There I had to adapt to a whole new life. "And those Asian guys weren't my type, she chided. "Next came my mothers accident and my change." The rest you know," she finished. I nodded in understanding. And asked the obvious question; "What do we do now?"
She suggested we do what all new couples do. Only not so openly. We had to take it slow. I was okay with that. We locked eyes again, the air thick with tension. "You know, I said, maybe I need a reminder, before I start comparing." My voice sounded strange. She just leaned in, cupped my face and pressed her lips on mine. No hesitation this time. We surrendered fully to the feeling. Though it was hard for me not to use my tongue.
She pulled back before I did and I noticed I was in need of air. We just held each other after that, her head on my shoulder. I've always been pretty happy, but this was better. Like we energised one another. Walking back to the spot we met up earlier, we held hands once more. And hugged before we reluctantly parted ways.
Later that week I decided to talk to Lily. She was the first one I thought of to kiss for comparison. The conversation was awkward. I didn't want her to think there was more to me approaching her. So I started casually, asking how she's been doing and mentioning me catching her, looking at me from across the yard. She confessed I was still on the top of her list, but others had caught her eye too.
I told her I thought she'd always be one of a kind, but my heart was going out to someone else, who wasn't a Quileute. Lovely Lily thanked me for the compliment and seemed aware of the fact we were not going to become a couple. She gave a gentle smile as she said: "I'm missing that look you got on your face, when we use to hang out." How wonderful she did agree to a 'practise-kiss'.
We were both curious about how it would feel. For her it was a first. She figured she'd rather make a mistake now, than later, when it would really count. This girl was amazing. We waited after school until we were alone, behind the building. The contrast with May was startling. Though the kiss was nice, her lips warm and soft, it missed that extra effect, the 'wow' –connection of merging.
Our tongues had touched a little, but the feeling just wasn't there. We had both blushed when it was over and admitted that it felt okay, … no fireworks. While we parted ways, she turned and said: "You're a wonderful person Seth, I hope this girl's good to you." You deserve it." I nodded; "she will be." And I hope the same for you, whomever you choose."
May had been right, I was glad I experienced this. For me it was another confirmation we belonged together. The next weeks we met up every day in secret. Talking a lot, while I ate a meal she prepared. We played twenty questions at the beach in the special corner. Kissing was another thing we did, often, starting out gentle, escalating to passionate.
But we never went to far, somehow we always realised where the boundaries were. We ended up laying together, holding each other close. It got harder and harder though, to hide my feelings. I thought of her a lot, especially after we just parted. Embry never slipped up again and told no one. – "Thanks bro."
With Halloween approaching however, my permanent smile became too noticeable. Even for my sister, who was full of her imprint, Jacy. The amount of happiness she emitted would've been sickening, if I wasn't feeling so in love myself. One afternoon mom and Leah were waiting for me at our 'old' house.
Long before I reached the door, I smelled the big dinner being made. That special stew, mashed potatoes and peas, among other things. My mouth watered and my stomach growled in approval. They said nothing until we sat at the table. "So, Leah began, spill little brother, who is she?"
Both women looked at me with interest. How annoying. "I don't know what you're talking about," I replied with a straight face. "Oh, come on son, mom added, I've seen that look on your face, you're in love." I scowled at her. "Yeah, my sister said, and you've got it bad." The word 'imprint' was left unsaid.
I gave a big sigh, they weren't going to back down. Mom was impatient; " do we know her?" Sis added: "how and why have you been hiding this?" I rolled my eyes before answering. "Yes, you both know her." And I'm not sure how, but I've been hiding our relationship because I'm not sure if you're going to approve." I paused and they just looked at me for a moment.
"She's not your imprint," mom stated. I shook my head. Leah stared a little longer, trying to get a read on me. It was hard not giving anything away. Her forehead creased in thought. "She's not from around here, is she?" - I said nothing. – Mom looked at her as her eyes widened because something clicked. "No, Lee exclaimed, don't tell me it's her, you have got to know that can't work!" She'll get hurt!" She stood up fast, her chair falling down.
"Who?" Mom asked confused. Lee pointed her finger at me. "It's May, he's seeing her, he's in love with her." She shook her head hard and started to tremble a bit. Taking deep breaths, she backed away from the table. I didn't expect such a strong reaction.
"Well, I said fiercely, it's true and she loves me too." And we've not stepped into this lightly, if that's what you're worried about." I got up slowly, taking a stance. "That doesn't matter, Lee spat, one day, you'll leave her, whether you want to or not." A growl bubbled up from me out of nowhere.
"I'm not Sam, I know we're meant to be, I can't deny the signs." My sister's jaw clenched and she bolted out the door to phase. I sat down again and gave mom an apologetic look. What should've been a nice dinner, was ruined.
Things luckily calmed down during the following days. Though I got the feeling those two women were planning something. Halloween was first however and I knew my costume. It was going to match May's. Yes I had an idea what it was going to look like, but the real thing blew me away. She looked absolutely stunning as her namesake. We danced a lot with different people, all together and it was a great night.
I didn't know what was going on after that day. Because in November Mom suddenly invited a lot of people over for a visit. She said they were old friends or acquaintances. I noticed one obvious thing about them; most were girls, of very different ages. From toddlers to twenty five year olds. And mom insisted I meet them all, for at least a few minutes. A dozen or so passed by before I realised what it was about.
They expected me to find my imprint. How would that work? Like I was the prince in Cinderella, meeting all eligible girls in the kingdom. No, I already found my connection and it didn't matter how many they paraded in front of me. I huffed as mom called me again.
"I know what you're trying to do, mother, I said through gritted teeth, and it's not going to work." My tone surprised her and she sputtered a protest. "I'm not coming," I added before ending the call. The need to talk to May was high. I found her on the highest mountain in the Olympic area. She immediately sensed my bad mood. I stepped in her embrace and held on tight. "What's the matter?" she asked, her head against my shoulder.
I explained what the women in my family were doing. She nuzzled my neck and sighed. "I know it feels wrong what they're doing, she responded gently, but they mean well." Turning my head to face her, I gave a questioning look. How could she say that? They were interfering, and seemed to think she was no match for me. It showed a lack of faith in our own judgement.
May touched my cheek and pecked my chin. "I think about it too sometimes, you know," she said in a low voice. "What, I replied, me imprinting?" She nodded; "passing on the gene is important and I think you'd be a great dad." Something that won't happen with me." Those words stung us both. And I guess there was some truth in it, but I didn't care about that. - "Leah will take care of those things."
Still she convinced me to make an effort with them. Just in case. So I did, first I saw Sophie and of course nothing happened. I also visited our family on the Makah reservation. Late November I had seen over two dozen girls and proved my point. May was happy and we went cliff-diving to celebrate.
She looked sexy in her bikini and I couldn't help touching her more intimately. We loved it, but stopped it getting too heated. My girlfriend wanted to wait until she was completely toxic-free. I understood, though it wasn't easy. Safety first, sigh. On a whole new level.
We did think of something nice however; May copied phasing from me now, to go 'flying'. Together we discovered a small wolf-pack of five, near the Canadian border. May loved them instantly and my mind was flooded with memories of Russia.
And because they were so small compared to 'us', we affectionately dubbed them 'Tiny Pack'. It was wonderful to see her interact with them. How it made her glow as she smiled. Soon they accepted me too, whatever form I was in. With every visit we became closer, me and May. My love for her was growing and visa versa.
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I came out of my thoughts and went to sleep. Afternoon the next day I walked into the woods to meet up with May. The school dance was on my mind. A few miles from the tree-line I heard angry voices arguing. Matt and Zack. What was going on, they hadn't had words in ages. "You stay away from her, Matt shouted, I was going to ask her first." "Says you, Zack responded, I think I was first." – So, it's about a girl. – Next came the sound of growling.
In the distance I saw them in a clearing. They were shaking as they faced off. The other five of 'the seven' stood around watching. Suddenly both boys phased and attacked. I started running as her voice called to them. "What's going on, May asked, why are you fighting?" I saw her jumping from a tree, right in between them. My heart skipped a beat, because Zack was just charging again. The vision of his open jaw and bared teeth, whom sank into May's right shoulder in slow motion.
The anger flaring up in me came out of nowhere. I phased without realising and pounced on Zack. He had already released May, realising what he'd done. But that didn't stop me. He hurt her! Both petty wolves shrank at my rage. Surrendering at once. We couldn't communicate, but they're yelping and whining said enough.
"Seth, stop!" Her hand on my flank stopped my snarling. "It was an accident, she stated, and my own mistake." Calm down, we all need to talk." She was so reasonable. I got off Zack and looked at her. Stepping closer, she touched my muzzle with her left hand. My eyes went to the holes and rip in her shirt. The damage to her shoulder was quickly disappearing. "I'm going to be fine, she scolded me, no need to overreact." I huffed and licked her wound. She…giggled, before getting serious.
"Lucas, she instructed, can you please go get three new shorts." He grinned and took off. "Now, she continued, I want to know why you two were fighting over a girl." May pointed her finger at each of them. "Who is she? And why can't you both just talk to her?"