Morning
Morning came too soon. I don't even remember falling asleep. I lift my head to see if Peeta is awake but he is still asleep. As I nuzzle my head in his neck and take in his scent. The capitals soaps mix well with his body's own scent. He smells of roses and bread. He always smells like bread. All the years in the bakery must have etched the smell into him. As I watch Peeta sleep I realize that I have started to stroke his hair. My body reaches out to him involuntarily at times as my mind caught up I start to pull my hand a way.
Peeta opens his eyes a smile on his face, "Morning"
"Morning" I replied.
"Have any more nightmares?"
Looking away assured I was blushing I reply "No. Thanks to you"
As he grins at me he sincerely says, "My pleasure. So will you allow us to spend time with together until we go into the Quell?"
"I'll allow it."
He took both arms around my waist and squeezes me tightly against him. That's when I feel a part of him prodding me in my thigh. I squirmed backwards startled.
He started laughing, but then tried to get serious. "I'm sorry. I just woke up. I don't have much control over my body in the morning. I didn't mean to startle you."
I start to get angry. He always laughs at my innocence. I thinking about changing my mind about my promise to allow him to spend time with me, but I don't want to ruin the time we have getting angry at mediocre idiosyncrasies. That's when I decide I am going to show him that I am not as pure as he thinks I am. "It just surprised me. The size of it! It pressed down against most of my thigh."
Peeta seemed like he was in shock and for the first time he was speechless. I also am pretty sure the erection in his shorts grew longer and wider. He excused himself from the bed and went into the bathroom to take a shower. I laid there in bed smirking about how exciting that was. It took everything I had not to blush or get embarrassed when I talked to him like that, but after I did I liked it.
Then other thoughts started arising. These are the things that Peeta will miss out on if he dies in the games. Surely I can allow him to experience as many things as he can before we go into the Quell, but what do those experiences entail? He doesn't want an act. So am I deciding that I will try to be with Peeta off screen? If so how far will I allow it to go? We have been each other's first kiss will I allow us to have other firsts? There are so many questions floating in my head.
Peeta said last night that he was content with just holding me while we slept, but is that true? Doesn't he want more? Of course he does. He has always wanted to be with me. That's why I didn't understand why he isolated himself to his room the night we agreed to get married. We thought it was the best way to convince Snow and the other districts how much in love we really were. I wanted to go to Peeta's room but Haymitch told me to leave him alone. Haymitch explained to me that even though it was what Peeta wanted it wasn't the same, because he wanted it to be real. Our relationship was anything but real then, but now I can try to make it feel real to him. Don't I owe him that? I do.
Peeta came out the bathroom in nothing but a towel. "I didn't really think this all the way through. Do you mind going to my room and getting me some clothes?" he asked.