I just wrote a long introduction/reflection on this chapter, but I deleted it because it really wasn't necessary.
There are only two things I have to say here:
1. Thank you, as always, for your reviews.
Your kind words mean the world to me, and it's heartening to see so many people enjoying my story...
even though it's totally tragic and I think a few hearts are breaking along the way (mine included).
2. Please don't hate me for this chapter. It's how things had to happen, okay?
And yes, I will update soon, so I won't leave you hanging for too long.
Enjoy.
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February 14th
The pain her eyes is unbearable. McDonald looks away. He's dealt with rape victims, suicide survivors, people who have been through all the levels of hell… and it never gets easier. He still feels lost when he sees such pain, such grief. But he knows the story is coming to its tragic end, and it's his duty to listen to it.
Spencer has stopped speaking, but she's not crying anymore. He's not sure whether this is a good sign or not.
"So the weeks following the -" he almost says the word, but catches himself in time "- incident were difficult?"
"Difficult?" Spencer echoes, and then she laughs. It's harsh, cynical, and he knows he's said the wrong thing. "Breaking up is difficult. Being cheated on is difficult. Watching the love of your life fade to nothing before your eyes, knowing there is nothing you can do to save her… seeing her fall apart and knowing you could have prevented it… feeling her push you away, close herself off from the world, and let herself slip away… there are no words to describe that."
He doesn't feel qualified to reply to this. What can he possibly say, he who has never been through such trauma? What words of wisdom can he offer, when his tongue feels like lead? What comfort can he give, in the face of such grief and guilt?
"So what happened then?" he says, hoping that if he steers her back to her story, she might finally reveal what really happened tonight.
"She slipped away." Spencer's eyes start to glaze over, like she's disappearing into her own world. He knows he can't follow her, but he's hoping she'll come back when she's ready.
"I'll give you a few minutes," he says. Once he's out in the hall he leans against the wall, rubbing his temples. He doesn't entirely understand why this case is hitting him so hard. She's not the first criminal with a sob story, the first broken heart he's ever seen. But something about her… the vulnerability, the fragility, makes his heart ache for her.
He looks up when he hears footsteps.
"Hey," Delaney says. He gestures to the door and asks, "How's it going?"
McDonald shakes his head. "To be honest, I'm not sure. I think we might be getting somewhere, slowly. How's it going with the other girls?"
"They haven't woken up yet," Delaney tells him. He glances at his watch. "Listen, I might go grab something to eat. You want anything?"
"Sure," McDonald says. "A burger or something would be great."
"No problem." Delaney slides his jacket on and heads for the door.
McDonald watches him go, and then walks back to the main room. He sinks into his chair, wondering if he has any aspirin. He could really use some right about now.
"Is she okay?"
The soft voice makes him jump. He turns around, trying to hide how startled he is, and sees the blonde girl – Hanna – looking at him. Emily is still asleep, and Hanna is gently stroking her hair, but her eyes are fixed on him.
"Spencer?" he asks. "She's… doing the best she can."
"She hasn't been herself for a while," Hanna confides. "After what happened… what happened to Aria, she…"
He wonders how close all the girls had been; Hanna seems almost as upset about Aria as Spencer is.
"Did she tell you about that?" Hanna asks. "What that creep did to her?"
He nods. It turns out that they'd processed the case here, after Aria had reported it. He hadn't been involved in it, but from what he could tell it hadn't led to much. A slap on the wrist at most. It made him sick that someone could do something like that and just… get away with it.
"Did she tell you what happened after?"
"After?"
"What Aria did," Hanna goes on. "What we… we couldn't stop her from doing."
"You mean how she became closed off?" McDonald asks, although he has a feeling it's more than that. "How she withdrew and fell into a sort of depression?"
"Yeah, that, and…" Hanna looks down at her lap, fiddles with the straps of her purse. McDonald feels a surge of apprehension; whatever had happened after was obviously terrible, even compared to what had already happened – which was terrible enough in itself. Hanna looks up again, her eyes brimming with tears. "Aria never moved on from it. She wouldn't let us help her… we couldn't do anything to stop her."
"Stop her?" he echoes. "Stop her from doing what?"
Hanna takes a shaky breath. "From killing herself."
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