DECEMBER 24.
TUESDAY.
[10:47 PM]
In order for me to take out the bottle of champagne from its box, I set down on the dining table the tray I was holding which contained different kinds of pastries. After I placed the bottle next to the tray, I reached for the drawer on my right, opened it with a small creak, and took out the cork which I placed next to the plate of strawberry shortcake. I gripped the neck of the bottle of champagne between my middle and ring finger, when I was assured that it would not fall off anymore I proceeded on picking up the tray from the table. Balancing both of them on my hands proved to be quite a struggle at first but soon I managed.
With small yet sure steps, I made my way towards the living room of my fiancé's apartment. And while I did so I could hear "Silent Night" from the stereo – it felt Christmas-y and calming.
When I reached the edge of the table which where at the center of the room, I slowly crouched and set the bottle of champagne down followed by the tray of goodies – the action caused the utensils to make small clanking sounds. They sounded like bells that jingled in the cold December night.
I then sat down on the couch next to Jun, who was 'busy' playing with our baby Pomeranian which we named "Chub-chub". I knew from the way he pouted his lips that he was still sulking about my meeting with Taichi.
"How long do you plan on being mad at me?" I threw him a sideway glance and when did not answer me and just gave me a shrug, I childishly took Chub-chub from his lap and hugged the dog tightly. I rubbed our cheeks together with which he took as an invitation for him to lick my face all over. I laughed.
"Fine. If your master does not plan on talking to me then might us well spend the Christmas eve together, huh, Chub-chub?" I giggled some more when our baby dog licked my face more enthusiastically as if it was agreeing with me.
Jun let out an agitated groan and I heard him murmured, "Why did you agree to have lunch with him then!"
I pecked the tip of the nose of Chub-chub as if I was trying to console the little puffball. "It was just lunch. We did not do anything aside from that."
Our dog barked in agreement.
"But you still had lunch with him!" Jun hissed.
"And?"
"He was your ex!"
"I do not see your point, Agarashi-san. Taichi was just an ex. Nothing to fret over!" I put an emphasis on the word 'ex' for him to get my point that he needed not to worry about anything.
"See? This is why I am being like this. You call him by his name over and over again but you've never gotten used to calling me by my own. It is like I am just still a stranger to you!" Jun's hands were clasped together as if he was praying – praying for what?
I stared at him while he was talking and I could hear frustration in his voice; desperation was in his eyes. And I felt like I wanted to hug him because I could see in him the me from years ago – the me who was consumed by jealousy over a past that had already ended. My lips quirked into a sad smile and I shook my head off the sadness that was starting to seep in.
Chub-chub jumped off from my lap and ran towards the direction of the kitchen. And with my hands now empty, I started to feel the coldness of not just the season but of the fact that I made the man in front of me felt all these unwanted emotions.
I got up from the couch and knelt down in front of Jun and with both my hands I reached for his cheeks and made him looked me straight in the eyes. In my own brown orbs, I reflected the things I wanted to tell him but I knew it was not enough to let him know. Deep inside I knew that there were things needed to be said out loud and straight to the person for them to get the point, for them to be reassured, for them to not feel all the negative emotions caused by miscommunication.
"Jun," I smiled, "We've been dating for three years now. We are even getting married. I know that I do not show you nor tell you things; things such as my gratefulness that you saved me from the monster that I was after I broke up with Taichi."
I caressed his cheeks and wiped them off the tears that were spilling from his eyes. This was my way of assuring him. I wanted him to feel the warmth that he had been giving me.
"I am an awkward person. I always keep to myself. I hated the feeling of depending on people. But you were the only one who did not give up on prying into my life. You were the one who came running to me the time I thought that cutting my life was the best option to forget about the painful things. You were the one who gave me a good slap the next day and a good lecture not to waste my life. Jun, you saved me. I am forever grateful for that."
"But you do not love me," he smiled sadly.
And I felt a pang in my chest.
"But I choose to be with you," I pulled his head closer and let our foreheads to touch. "You're a good person and I respect you. Love, they say, can be learned through time. And I – "
"You still love him, don't you?"
I gulped.
I sighed.
I was taken aback.
"I want to love you. I want to return all the feelings you have given me these past years."
"Himeko…" He was crying. "Just answer me?"
"Jun…"
"Please!"
"Please save me again. I want to forget about Taichi, Jun. I want to completely forget about the feelings I still have for him. I thought I was already over him but when I saw him… I was wrong. I can't do this by myself Jun, please help me forget!"
My own tears were already spilling out of my eyes and my voice quivered when I whispered another 'please'. Jun cupped my cheeks on his hands and he brought our lips together. If it was his answer, I was not sure, all I could think about was I wanted to save this man. I wanted to be saved by this man. I wanted to save "us".
DECEMBER 25
WEDNESDAY.
[2:34 AM]
Himeko was sleeping soundly on the bed right next to me. I slowly pulled up the blanket that was keeping her from the cold December night when it fell off her body when I got up to get some water. I laughed when I saw her nuzzled her nose on the softness of the fabric. I could not help but admire the beauty of her; in my eyes she looked like an angel; and when I could not contain it anymore I leaned closer to her and gave her forehead a kiss. And it lingered for a while.
She murmured something in her sleep. She always did that. She would murmur a terminology from her class or a recipe she wanted to cook, sometimes she even nagged at Chub-chub in her sleep. They were small things but they were what made me deeply fell in-love with her. And over the course of time, Himeko became more and more of a precious existence in my life.
As I contemplated on how much I loved the girl sleeping in front of me, I clenched my fists and sighed as I came to an answer: her happiness is my happiness.
My eyes glanced towards her phone on the night stand. It took me a minute before I grabbed it and opened it. Heck! I almost backed out when I saw that she had me as her wallpaper! But I knew that I had to do this. Because if not then both of us would forever and always be haunted by the past.
I looked through her contacts and dialed the number of the person who could complete her. I pressed the call button, brought her phone to my ears, and waited for it to ring.
Then it started ringing.
Then an answer.
"Hello?" The voice of the person from the other line sounded like they just woke up.
I almost pressed the "end call" button. Maybe I was really a coward to begin with.
"Inaba?"
"This is Agarashi Jun. I wanted to tell you something."
Hello people~ This is Psychoticauthor with the last chapter of Kokoro Connect (Collection of Interlocking Events)! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS UNTIL THE LAST CHAPTER! I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE PEOPLE READ THIS STORY EVEN THOUGH I ALMOST DROP IT. But really, really! Thank you so much for being patient and loving and hating this! I am sorry if I am not able to bring you a more awesome story *sad*! But I hope that you enjoyed it even a bit. Thank you so so so much! I am sorry if my characters are too OOC or something like that. I am sorry if it was not sweet or fluffy.
Please do read my other works too! Good day! Fighting!
-signing out KOKORO CONNECT (COLLECTION OF INTERLOCKING EVENTS)-