Guys, this is how much I love you. It's freezing outside and I'm really tired, but I got up early just to post this chapter because the Internet's going to be down later. I have class very soon though so I don't have time to respond to every one of your reviews like I usually do, but I'll do that next chapter. Rest assured that I read and appreciated all of them (and there were so many of them, thank you all!).

So here's the next chapter. Don't forget to review. Oh. There's some kind of harsh/possibly triggering language in this chapter (the reason why I originally rated this story M), so if you're upset by it please stop reading/PM me/go talk to someone.

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February 14th

The diner was warm and bright, a sharp contrast to the coldness of the night outside. The smell of chilli fries and ketchup washed over Spencer, and she wondered idly how long it had been since she'd eaten. An almost aggressively friendly waitress came over and delivered her coffee to her. She mumbled a 'thank you' and watched as the waitress walked away, then picked it up and took a sip. It was so hot it burned her tongue, but she didn't care. She was beyond feeling by now.

Going to the party had been a bad idea. She'd known that from the start, but Emily and Hanna had been so insistent. The only way to get them to ease up a bit was to agree to go with them, even though she knew it wouldn't end well. They were worried about her because it was Valentine's Day, because it was so soon after Aria's death, because she was distant and closed-off and wouldn't talk to them.

She was worried about herself too, but in a different way. She was worried that she would carry this burden with her forever, that she would never be able to move on. But she was also worried that the guilt would ease, that she'd be able to keep going. She didn't deserve to live her life, not when she'd failed Aria. So she spent every waking moment forcing herself to think about what had happened, reminding herself that she hadn't been good enough, contemplating all the things she should have done differently. As long as she kept thinking about it, she wouldn't have to say goodbye.

There were a few couples spread around the diner. They were the ones who hadn't been organized enough to get reservations anywhere fancier, or the ones who'd been together so long that it didn't matter where they went because it was just another day to them. This would have been her first Valentine's Day with Aria. As she thought of that, she realized how wrong it was to be in the diner. She shouldn't be somewhere so comfortable, so colorful. She should be sitting vigil by Aria's grave, in the growing darkness and the freezing cold, on her knees begging for forgiveness.

She got to her feet, tossed a five dollar bill on the table, and headed for the door. She was almost there when she heard laughter break out from one of the booths; it was a loud, raucous sound, and it startled her so much that she turned around to see who was capable of such a noise. He was sitting across from an attractive blonde girl, his hand around a cup of coffee, a huge smile on his face. She noticed all that, but she also saw the glint in his eyes, that predatory hunger.

Without any conscious thought her feet started moving toward the booth, and by the time she came to her senses she was standing in front of him. He looked up at her, curious, but there was no recognition in his eyes.

"Yes?" he asked curtly, while the blonde-haired woman raised her eyebrows. "Is there something you want?"

Spencer let out a bark of laughter. "Something I want? Of course there's something I want. I want to be able to sleep at night without having nightmares. I want to be able to walk to my room without being scared of what's lurking in the shadows. I want to be able to smile and be happy and just be a normal college student. But you know what I want more than that? I want my girlfriend back. I want her to be alive."

Her voice had been growing louder and stronger, and now a few people were staring. Let them stare. She had nothing left to lose.

"I'm sorry?" he said. It wasn't an apology, because he still didn't know who she was. He didn't even recognize her. He was just trying to get her to go away.

"Aria," she said, pain shooting through her heart as she said the name. "You remember her, right? She was cute, petite, brunette. You raped her and then left her lying there in an alley. And you know what? She's dead!"

His eyes widened, and she knew that at last he understood who she was. But he didn't show any signs of remorse. If anything he seemed irritated.

"She killed herself," Spencer went on, her voice hard despite the tears that were spilling down her cheeks. "Two weeks ago she slit her wrists because she couldn't stand to live in a world with scumbags like you."

He opened his mouth, shooting a glance at the girl across from him. Spencer didn't know what he was going to say, but she didn't care. Nothing he said would bring Aria back.

"No," she snapped, her body visibly trembling with rage. "No. You do not get to sit here and have a nice Valentine's Day dinner with your girlfriend of the week when the love of my life is dead because of you."

"Mason, what's going on?" the woman asked.

He took a sip of his coffee, watching Spencer calmly. "It's nothing, Susie," he said. Then he turned his attention back to Spencer. "You're making a scene. Shall we discuss this outside?"

All logic in her told her that this was the downright stupidest thing she could do, but she was running on emotion and nervous energy. She followed him outside, hearing the bell over the door jangle as they stepped into the cold night. He looked her up and down, that same hungry look in his eyes.

She took a moment to compose herself, weighing the pros and cons of every course of action. And then, very deliberately, she slapped him across the face as hard as she could.

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