Author's note: Hey everyone! I'm so happy that y'all are enjoying this story :) This chapter is almost all about Addison and Amelia because I love these two. It's based on their dialogues in Private Practice 3x19 and 5x08. Also the time when Amelia overdosed - which I don't remember when they mentioned lol.

And to the person who asked me if I could write some happy Addek moments in the present: Maybe, but I don't promise anything. All the Addek scenes I planned are so angsty haha. But maybe I can come up with something when I write the Seattle scenes.

Enjoy!

New York, 1989

"Hey Addie, can I ask you a favor?", Amelia asks when they're both in her room after lunch.

"Of course. What is it?"

"I really, really want to pierce my ears, but mom has been a pain in the ass lately and she won't let me go there alone and everyone is too busy to take me there, so… could you please take me there?", she pouts.

"Okay", she agrees. "I have a lot to study today though so I'll pick you up on Saturday, is that alright?"

"Yeah", Amelia gives her a big smile. "Thank you so much".

"No problem", Addison smiles.

As promised, Addison drives by the Shepherd's house that Saturday and takes an excited Amelia to get her ears pierced, who gets even more excited when it's done.

"That looks pretty cool", Amelia exclaims looking at the mirror.

"It does", Addison nods. "Hey, are you hungry?", she asks when they're getting back into the car. "Because I'm starving. We should eat something before I bring you back to your house".

"Sure, I'm starving too".

They stop at a fast food. They talk and laugh a lot for half an hour, until Amelia suddenly goes serious.

"Addie, can I talk to you about something?", she starts, insecure. "I don't really know who to ask".

"Go ahead", Addison encourages her.

"What should I know about birth control?"

"Oh", she's surprised that she is the one Amelia chose to have that conversation with. "You're... having sex?"

"Yeah, I mean there's this boy at school... Whatever", Amelia shrugs. "We did it, like, twice. I like him".

"Okay". Addison tells her everything she thinks is important, realizing how much she likes that Amelia trusts her like that. Like a sister. She always wanted a little sister. "And Amy", she adds at the end of her speech, "Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Don't do anything just to please other people. Remember to love yourself first, okay? That's the most important thing you need to know. I tell you that based on my experience, because since you're like my little sister I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did when I was your age".

"Right. Okay. Thank you, Addie", Amelia grins. "And, uh, please don't tell my mother we had this conversation. I'm not sure how she would react. And don't tell Derek. Oh God, please don't tell Derek, he would to freak out".

"Alright", she laughs. "He would freak out, you're right. Don't worry, it's our secret. And anything you need, just talk to me, okay?"

"Okay".

New York, 1990

"Hey", Addison enters Amelia's room.

"Hey, you're here", Amelia says agitated.

"You look beautiful", she smiles. "I love that dress".

"Thanks", Amelia smiles back, still agitated.

"Okay, let's start. You sit on the bed, I'm going to need your hair brush".

Amelia obeys. "Sorry to bother you. I really had no idea what to do with my hair. I mean it's prom, what the hell should I do with my hair for prom? They don't teach us that in school".

"It's no bother at all", Addison reassures her while brushing her hair. "I'm actually enjoying this". After a few moments, she speaks again, laughing a little. "Remember when you met me, you called me a prom queen?"

"Yeah, sorry about that".

"I wasn't", she shakes her head. "I wasn't a prom queen. I wasn't considered pretty in high school and I definitely wasn't popular. I was a band geek".

Amelia frowns. "Are you saying that because I look terrible and you want to make me feel better?"

"No, I'm serious!"

"I don't believe you".

"I have photos", she raises an eyebrow.

Then they notice Derek standing on the doorway.

"Oh hi Derek", Amelia speaks.

"Am I allowed to see you before you're ready?", he teases her.

"I'm going to prom, you idiot, I'm not getting married and you're not the groom".

"You look beautiful", he smiles.

"Thanks".

He turns to Addison. "I'll be in my room, just call me when you're done, okay?"

"Okay".

He begins to leave, but then he stops and turns around again, repressing a smile.

"Addie?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really have photos?", he teases.

"Shut up".

New York, 1990/1991

"Where's Amy?", Carolyn asks, impatient. "It's almost midnight, we're supposed to celebrate New Year. Someone go find her".

"I'll go". Derek knocks on the door of Amelia's room. No answer. He opens the door, slowly, only to find Amelia collapsed on the floor, cold and sweaty, vomit coming out of her mouth and pills in her hand. Derek screams for help and Addison is the first person who runs to the room. "Call an ambulance, now! I think she overdosed".

"What?", she is shocked.

"Call an ambulance, Addison, now!"

She does what he said.

Time passes in a weird way for Derek, and people's voices are distant, as if he's asleep and someone's trying to wake him up.

One moment they're at the ambulance and then they're at the hospital and then he's just standing there looking at the doctors trying to save his sister.

No pulse.

Charge 200.

Charge 300.

Charge 360.

Alright, we got a pulse.

Then Amelia is back.

Then they wait outside.

Then she's fully awake, and then he's out of his numbness.

"I'll talk to her first", he states, barely noticing Addison and Mark following him.

"What the hell were you thinking?", he yells at her. "How do you think mom would feel if you died?"

"Derek", Mark pleads.

"Are you trying to make things worse for everyone?, he ignores him.

"Derek, stop", Addison places a hand in his arm. "That's not helping her".

"How could you be so selfish?", he continues, his voice lower now.

"Derek", Addison forces him to look at her. "You're not helping. Let me talk to her now. Okay?"

He nods, reluctantly.

"Mark, would you wait outside with him?"

Mark agrees and they leave the room.

As soon as they leave, Amelia's face crumbles and she cries. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want to make things worse".

"I know", Addison says gently, sitting on the bed.

"I didn't want to die. I just wanted it to stop hurting".

"Well, drugs are not the answer".

"Then what is?"

Addison shakes her head. "I don't know. Maybe there isn't one. You can't just stop feeling. But Amy, drugs only make it worse. You might feel good for a while but when it's over it becomes ten times worse. And you have a family who loves you more than you can imagine; you should rely on that. You don't need to turn to drugs, you could just... turn to your family".

Amelia cries harder. "I screwed up. They hate me now. Derek hates me.".

Addison places a comforting hand in her arm. "They don't hate you. Derek just said those things because he was terrified and desperate. You were clinically dead for three minutes, Amelia. He was just scared to death and yelling at you was like an involuntary response. He didn't mean any of those things. And the rest of your family... They love you too and they want to help you. How long have you been doing drugs?"

Amelia shakes her head. "About a year, I think".

"Listen, when things calm down, they're going to talk to you. Discuss options. You need to get sober, Amy".

Amelia nods, still crying. "I'll try. I promise".

"Good. You know you can count on me too, right? Even if I'm not technically your family, I'll help you".

"Thank you".

"Alright, your mother and your sisters want to talk to you, so I'm going to go. Take care".

She leaves the room and finds Derek and Mark seated on the hallway floor, Mark with a comforting hand on Derek's shoulder. She sits beside them.

"I shouldn't have yelled at her", Derek says, looking miserable. "It's my fault. When my father died I swore I would take care of her. I failed. I let this happen".

"Hey", Addison holds his head in her hands. "Look at me. It's not your fault. You didn't know. You did what you could do".

He's still not convinced though. He buries his head on her shoulder and they keep that way for a while.

"What time is it?", she asks Mark.

"1:46", he reponds.

"Well, happy New Year", Derek says sarcastically.

New York, 2005

They are in the bed in the on call room when the door is suddenly opened and Amelia is there. Her expression hard to read - confusion, surprise?

Addison swears. "Amy... I can explain-"

"I don't need an explanation. Derek does. Relax", she adds at the face Addison makes, "I'm not going to tell him. But you two", she points at both Addison and Mark, "Better figure this shit out, because he's going to find out eventually. I'm not judging you, I promise. I just hope you know what you're doing because everyone in the story might end up hurt".