A/N: Sorry for the late update! I had migraine these days and I couldn't really focus, but thankfully now I'm feeling better and the new chapter is up! It didn't really turn 100% the way I wanted it to be, but...Anyways, HUGE THANK YOU to all those who Followed my story or Favorited it! I LOVE YOU GUYS, you truly make my day and I hope I won't late you down! XOXO

'What did he mean? What did he mean…?' Jay kept asking herself while walking faster and faster on the hallways.

She didn't know where her mother's office was and she couldn't remember the way to go either, but all that Jay wanted was to be as far as possible from that cell and from that man. Jay began supporting herself on the walls with her hands while walking for a few minutes, because she felt dizzy and limp, for some unknown reason. It was as if the Joker had absorbed her energy and confidence only through his deep, burning gaze.

Jay kept calling herself a fool for thinking of going to just see him, let alone talk to him. What the Joker had said, the way he acted and looked at her, everything disturbed her, shocked her and, most importantly, created chaos inside her. The truth was the Joker was an agent of chaos, but she didn't know it and she was to learn it the hard way.

Even though The Joker talked in tongues, Jay wasn't scared of the things she didn't understand, but of the things she understood from him. Those were the things that she put behind her and almost forgot and, somehow, the man guessed only by looking at her. A tear fell from Jay's eye as she replayed the Joker's twisted questions in her mind, questions which made her remember some of the years that had passed.

'Do you often feel all on your own, though surrounded by people?'. That was the first question the Joker had asked her and that shocked her to her core. The answer that Jay would have given then was an honest 'no', but what scared her was the fact that the answer could have been 'yes' a few years before.

Two years and a half of her life, she had suffered of deep depression, which led to many other unpleasant things such as anxiety, insomnia and, probably the worst, the loss of the will to live. Jay couldn't explain to herself how the depression had started, but the only logical answer she could find was the fact that she was all alone during her childhood. While being a little girl, she had no friends or playmates, she simply never managed to fit in anywhere and she was too shy to socialize as well.

After years of being alone on the playground and after growing up a little, this feeling of loneliness developed into something worse. At 14 she fell into depression. That was the beginning of the period of her life in which she wasn't living…just existing. She felt that no one could understand her at all and she was just a burden for her family. She had no one to cling to and later, when she turned 15, she even had a suicide attempt by slitting her wrists, but thankfully, the blade wasn't sharp enough and the only thing she got was a few scratches, though on her left wrist a small, superficial scar remained.

Her depressive state continued until she turned 16. Without any professional help, Jay found the strength to battle her weakness and, ultimately, won after a long, hard fight. Once again, she couldn't find an answer when she would be questioned how she found a way out. Probably she just grew sick of crying her life away and of being so gloomy all the time and decided to just put an end to it. The depression just disappeared as sudden as it arrived, therefore, Jay cured after years of torment.

What had happened to Jay then could be easily compared to the rebirth of the Phoenix bird from its own ashes. After killing all bits of depression inside her, she was a totally new person. From the girl who was always sad and frowning, Jay turned into a girl who emanated warmth and happiness everywhere she went. Many said she resembled a ray of light and that she simply lit up the room once she stepped in. Jay learnt how to socialize and people began feeling dragged to her and she managed to make her first trusty friends. All the persons who knew her since 14, including her mother, said the same thing: that she had made a change for the better and she was a completely different person. Also, Jay considered this won battle over depression the biggest achievement in her entire life, the period of time since then being the most beautiful one in her whole life.

Jay put all the years of pain behind and focused only on the present since then, but that man, the Joker…simply threw her back in the past through his words. And she couldn't even understand how he managed to. The Joker asked if she felt lonely, if she was scared, if she felt misunderstood or if she felt like crying for no reason. All his questions could have been answered affirmatively if asked years before, therefore Jay couldn't understand why she was so disturbed by them and, most importantly, how come he saw right through her, right through her shields and new persona, directly in her heart.

Jay began feeling dizzier and dizzier, like she was almost fainting. She could feel sweat running on her forehead while so many bad memories and the Joker's laugh were spinning in her head. She walked a little more and then stopped, supporting her back on one of the walls. Jay was breathing in and out heavily and a strange nausea began hatching in her body. She roughly rubbed her face with her hands, messing her dark eye shadow and her lipstick, and kept walking.

She looked around and noticed she was close to the quarters her mother had left her in. Jay took one more step and an intense pain struck her in the stomach. She remembered her mom telling her where the bathroom was and tried to figure out where it might be, from her position. Jay looked ahead and near the end of the hall, she noticed a closed door that had specific markings on it. She ran to it as fast as she could and once in, it was almost as she clicked a button inside her, because she felt an immediate need of unloading her stomach.

Jay quickly knelt at the toilet bowl and released the contents of her stomach, holding her hair back with one arm. From behind the closed door of the restroom, she could hear footsteps and voices, sign that the cops returned to MCU. After a few minutes, Jay stopped from vomiting and sat down in front of the toilet, with her back supported by the wall behind. She closed her eyes and thought about the situation: She was in a bathroom, she had thrown up, went dizzy, nearly fainted, remembered some of the gloomiest moments in her life and was sent in an emotional rollercoaster by just spending a few moments with a man. A psychotic mass-murdering man, but still a man.

The girl thought for a moment of how pathetic she was…so pathetic, it was almost funny…no wonder that man was called 'The Joker'. Jay opened her eyes, looked up to the ceiling in contemplation for a few seconds, and then wiped her sweaty face with her hands. She said to herself that there was no reason to panic anymore, for she was away from the Joker, she wouldn't see him again and, most importantly, there was no way for his words to have any influence on her.

"Jayne, dear, are you in there?" the voice of Jay's mother could be heard from behind the door, along with a few knocks.

"Uh, yeah…" the girl let out quickly, swiftly standing up and heading for the door, in order to lock it. She didn't want her mother to see her that way.

"Well, you better finish quickly…we're going home!" the woman added, drumming her fingers on the wood.

"I'll be there in a minute!" Jay said while looking alarmed around the bathroom and at her attire.

Jay quickly flushed the toilet and looked in the mirror. She was surprised by the sight which welcomed her. Jay could see her eye-shadow and black mascara smudged all over around her eyes and her lipstick smeared around her lips and on her cheeks, as if in a devilish grin. Her image reminded her very much of…but no, she couldn't allow herself to think of that…not one bit! Jay grabbed a few paper towels and cleaned her face with them and with tap water. Once her face was completely clean, Jay formed a scoop with her two hands and started drinking some of the pouring water, its cold temperature calming having an incredibly beneficial effect on her body.

The girl glanced in the mirror on more time and began fixing her hair. Then she noticed something strange: her right hoop earring was missing from her ear. Jay looked around the bathroom, but there was no trace of it. She frowned for a couple of moments because that pair of earrings were her favorite, but then proceeded to take a look at her clothes. She pulled the dress down a little then exited the bathroom.

Jay looked around and recognized the door to her mother's office.

"Ready to go, Jayne?" her mother asked once the girl entered. The woman had her jacket on and was playing with the key-ring in her hand.

"Yeah, let's go!" she answered, with so much excitement as if something inside her couldn't wait to get out of there.

"Wait a second!" the woman said, when the girl was already turning to exit the room "What happened to your make-up?" she asked frowning.

"Umm…I…it started fading away so I decided to just wash it off!" Jay said, trying to seem convincing.

"Hmm…" the sergeant frowned suspiciously, coming closer to her and grabbing her lightly by the chin "And where's your right earring?" she asked turning Jay's to the left.

"I have no idea!" the girl said honestly "I probably lost it around here or…I don't know, maybe it fell in the toilet…" she added trying to find a logical explanation.

"Ok then…" the sergeant let out skeptically "Let's get out of here!"

They both exited the unit, Jay behind her mother in order to follow her to the parking lot. Once she was out and her feet the touched the asphalt of the parking lot, Jay suddenly froze in her tracks and said, without even thinking or realizing what she was doing, to he mother who was way ahead of her:

"How long will the Joker stay celled here?"

Immediately after asking, Jay placed both hands over her mouth. It was as if another person spoke through her, because she had no intention of even thinking about him anymore.

The woman turned around and eyed her daughter with a surprised look on her face, though Jay had taken her hands away from her mouth quickly, in order to not seem suspicious.

"Well…" her mother let out after a short silence "He'll probably be moved out tomorrow night…at Arkham Asylum. Why?" the woman frowned once again.

"Uh…" Jay let out concerned "I was just asking…I'm just curious that's all!" she added, finally managing to make up a logical reason for why she asked.

"I hope so…" the woman said, eyeing her daughter one more time and heading to open the door of the car.

That night, Jay pretty much had an uneasy sleep.

Jay opened her eyes and found herself in a corridor, surrounded by smoke and fog. She ran at one end of the corridor and she noticed there was a mirror, making it a dead end. She ran into the opposite direction, the smoke making her eyes itchier with every second. The girl discovered that at the other end there was a cross between two other corridors. After randomly picking one and after a couple of minutes passed, she realized she was in a sort of a maze, which had mirrors at its dead ends.

After reaching another mirror, Jay looked desperately around and heard the echo of a voice as she was running around on other corridors:

"There's no point of being afraid of who you are…"

The sound of that voice sent shivers down her spine. She recognized that voice, she had heard it before.

"Shut up!" Jay yelled out running around the maze.

"You're not like them and you know it! WE BOTH SEE IT!" the echo could be heard once again.

"You know nothing! You know nothing!" she yelled running through a corridor.

Once again she reached a mirror and she collapsed in front of it, for her knees gave in because of all the running. Jay began breathing heavily and she felt slowly intoxicated from all the smoke.

"You're a freak!" the echo once more spoke.

"I'm not! I'M NOT!" she yelled out, looking up in the mirror in front of her and seeing the reflection of the Joker in it, standing at the opposite end of the corridor.

"You're just like me!"

Jay looked behind her, but she couldn't see the Joker through the smoke anymore.

"I'm not like you! I'm not like you!" she screamed while looking back in the mirror.

To her horror, Jay saw that she was now wearing the very same make-up as the Joker, white face, black around the eyes and red from her lips up to her cheekbones. She kept yelling the same words, while the echo of the man entering a fit of laughter could be heard.

In her bed, Jay kept turning from one side to the other, breathing heavily.

"I'm not like you! NO, I'M NOT LIKE YOU!" she yelled out in her sleep.

Then, she suddenly sat up, waking up from her nightmare. She was all sweaty and kept breathing sharply. After trying to relax herself by waving some air to her face with her hand, she looked up at the clock on her wall. The time was 4:00 AM.

Jay got up from her bed and went to her writing desk. She turned on the lamp and went to the chest she had in her room, in which she kept different notebooks or old books. With shaky hands she opened the lid and began to violently look through it. Jay threw almost half of the chest containing on the floor before reaching the bottom and finding what she was looking for.

With trembling hands, she took the notebook and cleaned the dust off it. Jay looked at it for a couple of seconds before beginning to randomly turn pages. It was the notebook in which she wrote her thoughts about herself, society and the world in general, when she used to be depressive. It wasn't a diary, not at all, because she wouldn't write daily or what she was doing…it was just a notebook in which she poured all her thoughts of hatred and all the pain she felt inside. After curing, Jay's first thought was to burn it, in order to completely forget about the wickedness that was going on inside her mind, but because her mother didn't allow her too, she just settled with hiding it deep in that chest, under all those books.

That notebook was the proof that she used to be weak and a psychological wreck once, but it was also the proof that she had reborn and that she became a stronger, better person. The small thing that she was holding in her hands was the ultimate symbol of a chapter in her life that ended.

"I should've burnt it then!" she said to herself, throwing the notebook on the chair inside her room, which was already covered with several other items.

She felt as if the Joker had read every single thing that she wrote there, only by piercing her with his eyes. Therefore, Jay, probably because of the naivety and foolishness that was specific with her age, developed another curiosity…how come the Joker had 'read' her so well? How come he saw what she used to be only by looking at her?

These questions began burning inside her more and more and then she realized…She realized that in order to earn a closure and to fully understand, no matter how dangerous or stupid it was, she needed to see the Joker one more time.

A/N: Chapter 5 will be up soon! Please tell me your opinion if you have time XOXO