Author's Note: About the title of this chapter, I heard a cover of this song by The Civil Wars and it's so beautiful, and it gave me the idea to write this. It wasn't planned at first (I guess that's why it's so short), but I thought it had to be written after listening to that song. It's very heartbreaking for Addek though, I'm warning you. And I'm sorry. But it's actually Shonda's fault, not mine haha. Also, I'm sorry this chapter is so short. Next one will be longer, I promise.
New York, 1994
"Come on, it's not that hard", Addison laughs, pausing the song one more time.
"You know I can't dance", Derek protests.
"Let's just try again."
They try again, and again, again, but it's still a disaster.
"Why do we need a choreography, anyway?", Derek complains.
"It's a slow dance, Derek, it's not Dirty Dancing, come on, you can do this."
"I'm serious, we don't need a choreography. Let's just do whatever. It will be more natural. And people will think it's actually sweet."
She looks as him thoughtfully.
"We don't do fake, remember? Besides, I'm not going to learn this dance in less than two weeks anyway."
"Fine", she decides. "Bizzy will kill us though", she raises an eyebrow.
"She probably will", he laughs. "Who cares? It will be our day. We shouldn't be stressing about anything. We're already going to be in the center of a hotel ballroom, with everyone looking at us. We should have fun. Now, I say we play this song again and we dance spontaneously."
And that's what they do.
"See, this is so much better."
"Shut up, Derek", she rests her head on his shoulder. "Just enjoy the song."
"Alright", he smiles.
New York, 2005
Eleven years later, dancing with her doesn't feel the same anymore. The feelings are simply not there, no matter how hard he tried to bring them back. He did love her once, but now all there's left between them are ruins and imperfect images of what their life used to be - like ghosts. He's been trying to save something, but he's finally beginning to admit that there's nothing left to save.
He can't explain the impulse that guides him next. One minute he's dancing with Addison, the other one he's following Meredith into that on-call room.
He knows what's going to happen and he knows it's wrong, but he can't help it, because somehow it feels right.
The minutes he spends with Meredith in that room feel right, as if he just found what was missing. It feels real. Not an imitation of reality, but a bright, vivid view.
So, he finally stops thinking. He doesn't have to think anymore. His heart has made the decision for him.