Later that night
21:40
Tori
He's across from me on the table, eating my Dad's vegetarian lasagna's leftovers. He's only wearing his black boxer-briefs and white t-shirt, and I'm in my pajamas. It feels like we're married, and I love it. He even tied his hair up, and he only does that when he's about to go to bed, or trying to study. I don't know why I like it that he's comfortable in house so much, but I do.
"So, your Dad's always the cook?" He asks, putting down his fork.
"Either my Dad cooks, or my Mother orders." He picks up the plate and leaves it at the sink besides mine. "How does it work in your house?"
He sits back down, but instead of across he sits beside me. I much prefer it this way. "My Mom really likes cooking, and I don't think my Dad has ever cooked anything besides ramen."
I raise my eyebrows, not even my Mom is that bad at cooking. "And do you have dinner with them, or do you just steal food and go back to your cave?"
"First of all, show my RV some respect." I laugh, and he shrugs with a smile. "It depends, but I usually eat with them a few times a week. My Mom insists that I do." That's really nice of her, to want to have her sons' company. I can't imagine my mom acting that way towards me. "And since we're on that subject…" He lets out a tired sigh, and I'm scared my Mother found out about him and called him or something like that. I don't know why she would do that, but why else would he be reluctant while talking about Moms. "She's kinda after you."
"Your Mom?" I ask, very surprised. "In a good or bad way?"
"Good, I think." He holds my hand, I don't as gesture but more of a reflex. "She's very into romance, it's weird." I think I made a weird expression, because I can tell he's struggling to find new words to explain. "She's always been like that, obsessed with other people finding love."
I don't think he realized it, but he said 'love'. Other people finding love. Did he tell his mother that he loved me? Does he love me? I didn't think that was possible.
"I think it's because my Grandparents had an arranged marriage." He continues.
"Really?" He nods, and I realize I don't know much about his life outside of high school. I know he has a Grandma and friends in Vancouver, but not much besides that. "How's that like?"
"My Grandfather died when I was really young, and my Grandma went back to India so I don't really remember. From what my Mom says they were really happy, but I don't know if she's just projecting."
"Did they meet before the wedding? Or was it like the movies where you get one date before the actual wedding?" I hope he doesn't find my questions ignorant, because I find this subject interesting, almost surreal.
"Yeah I think they met the week before the wedding, or something like that. Imagine meeting your wife seven days before getting married. And then they move here, a whole new place with a different language that same month. They had to force themselves to like each other, because they had nobody else."
"That sounds insane."
"I know."
I hope he meant it when he said love.
"Beck." I say, looking down at our hands.
"What?"
I look back up at him, and decide it's not worth the risk. "Nothing." He keeps looking at me, and I realize I have to come up with something to say otherwise this will probably look very strange. "Do you think you would be able to go through with it? An arranged marriage?"
"I don't think so, I wouldn't want to be tied down to a stranger."
"What if the person you're arranged with is perfect for you?"
He shrugs. "That did work for us, didn't it?"
I literally have to keep myself from gasping. "That's so cheesy."
He chuckles, and looks so freaking confident. How can you look so confident? It's so attractive.
"It doesn't mean it's not true." He takes his free hand and holds my chair, pulling me closer to him. "And you're smiling, so don't pretend you're too cool for this." He says playfully, and I didn't even realize I was smiling. I love him.
"I'm not."
I feel really anxious, good anxious which is nice and weird. He's also looking at me in a weird way, and I can't stop thinking about what he said before. About how I feel.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
3/10/2012 – Wednesday
I wake up at six just like every day, but somehow everything feels different. It is insane that three words can change a person's whole life, but it does. It did. Beck loves me. I barely love myself and yet, he does. How can he?
I sit up, and look down at him. He's dead asleep beside me, and it's the first night we actually spent together by choice. Not by me being drunk, or by chance. This was probably the best night of my life. I can't believe I'm actually in love, and that person loves me back. I am loved back.
I get up from my bed, and tiptoe to bathroom. My breath quickens. I love him, he loves me.
Oh god. I'm going to be heartbroken. He's going to realize what I'm really like, and he's going to end things and I'm going to be heartbroken. I'm not able to handle that. It will be too much, and it's going to kill me. When it happens, it will kill me.
I stay inside the bathroom for another hour, although I don't feel the time passing. It takes up so much of my energy, it feels like time has stopped and nothing will ever be good again. But when you look at the clock, it's always later, so much later. So much time wasted.
8:30
"Stop." He says, and I nod my head. "Stop, I can't drive when you're looking at me like that."
I laugh, turning away from him. "Fine." I say, turning up the radio to distract myself from him, not to disrupt his focus and get us both in a car crash. "Though if we had it my way, we wouldn't even be going to class."
"You're such a troublemaker." He tells me, sarcastic. I roll my eyes, looking at him again, getting closer. I just can't help myself.
"I just think there are plenty of reasons not to go to class today, and we could use our time in much better ways." I lay down my hand on his lap, and he squints his eyes.
"Keep it up, and we might crash." He says, and I laugh again. I raise my hand to his shoulder, and sit back. He glances at me, and smiles as he looks ahead.
He takes a turn, and we see our school. We get in the parking lot line, and he lets go of the steering wheel. "Hey." I call for his attention, he looks at me hiding a smile. The car stops, and he leans in, and we kiss. I could do this forever.
"Shit…" I say, pulling away as I hear a car honking. I glance back, and see Jade behind the steering wheel. Andre and Cat are in it with her. He laughs. We move down the line, and make it to the parking lot. I look down at my phone, and check the time. He turns off the engine, and takes off his seatbelt. I take mine off too, and we get out of the car.
"Seriously?!" Jade yells, leaving her own car which is parked next to ours, and walking our way. "I don't know how things work in Canada Beck, but in America you don't make out while driving!"
I laugh. "Good morning to you too."
"Of course you're having a good morning." Andre says, taking out his keyboard from the backseat. "You didn't have to drive to Jade's house in her car, because she was too drunk to drive it herself the previous day."
"And you didn't have to drive to school with today's greatest pessimist!" She says, motioning at Andre. "And little miss high pitch!"
"Hey!" Cat yells, in truly a very high pitch. She nods her head, clearly irritated, and walks away.
"Wow." Beck mutters, he leans against the car beside me, wrapping his arm around me. I smile.
"Right?" I tell him, shocked that they actually managed to make Cat annoyed this early in the morning.
"I can't deal with this today." Jade grunts, following Cat.
"What's going on?" I ask Andre, before he bangs the car door shut. I don't think I've ever seen him this angry.
"Nothing." He says, leaving us alone.
I turn around, and lean against Beck. He looks down at me, and seems just as confused as I am.
"Was that normal?" He asks.
"Jade was." He shrugs, and I wrap my arms around his neck. "I'll talk to them later, try to figure out what's going on."
I kiss him, and feel his hands run down my back landing right above my jeans. I press myself closer to him, and we kiss as if we were alone. "Beck." I say, pulling away. "We could still get in the car, and leave."
"You're a very bad influence." He says, and I laugh. "I love you."
I feel my heart racing, and my blood pumping all over my body. "I love you, too." He takes my head, and tilts his head towards the school. We walk inside, and head towards Sikowitz's class. "We should actually try to start the project today." I say, as I realize the days are flying by and we have been procastinating like pros.
"I try to, but you always try to take advantage of me." He smiles, glancing at me. I raise our hands, and kiss the back of his. "Not that I'm complaining."