A sort of humorous break in all the gloomy writing I've been doing. You just can't write Varia without… making them Varia.

Extra Chapter: Cavallone Dino and the Varia

It was like a slap in the face.

"I-I'm sorry, what?"

He stumbled into the chair beside him, the hand holding the phone shaking so violently he almost dropped it.

"I don't think I heard you right."

"Whether you believe me or not," the voice on the other side of the line said nastily, "it's the truth. Sawada Tsunayoshi is dead. We are screwed over in this war against the Millefiore."

"Dead?"

"It looks like I am not going to get anywhere in this conversation with you, Cavallone Dino," the voice said snidely. "I have other people to inform, so goodbye for now."

There was a click as the other person hung up. The phone clattered to the floor.

"Dead?"

He didn't even jump when the door slammed open and a silver haired swordsman barreled through.

"VOII, CAVALLONE, YOU BASTARD, ANY NEWS FROM THE VONG – what the hell?

Squalo stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment, staring, transfixed, at the blond man.

"Voi," he said uncertainly, "Cavallone, are you… crying?"

Warily, he stepped forward, swearing that if this was a trap set up by Dino to knock him unconscious and curl his hair again, he was going to kill Dino and kill him good. He reached out a tentative hand – the one without the sword of course, although he would like nothing more than to stab Dino through with the blade for all the misfortunes he had caused Squalo.

"Dino…?"

All of a sudden, he was pulled down to his knees as the sobbing Dino grabbed a hold of Squalo's middle, burying his face and wiping snot and tears on Squalo's freshly laundered uniform. Not quite sure what to do, Squalo roared, "VOI, WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU A FUCKING TWO YEAR OLD?"

But there was something wrong. Dino didn't shove a grin into Squalo's face for once. Nor did he start laughing, saying it was all a joke. Instead, the room was just filled with those body-racking sobs that made Squalo so uncomfortable.

"V-voi," he said, raising his hand. "What the hell happened to you?"

His hand almost reached the blond man's head when the door burst open (He really was going to just grab Dino by the hair and wrench that dirty face off of his uniform, he convinced himself later after being teased endlessly by Bel about how he had been about to stroke Dino's hair (lovingly).), revealing a disheveled Fran who had knives sticking out of his head in all directions.

"Taichou, Bel-senpai is throwing knives at me again," he drawled before seeing the situation. "Taich – oh."

Fran saw Dino's arms wrapped around Squalo's middle and Squalo's normal hand almost touching Dino's hair. His expression turned very vague as he said, "Aw, Taichou, I didn't know you were a player like that."

"The hell –"

"What's going on here?" Bel sniggered, poking his head around the door. His smile froze on his face. "Ah, so Commander Squalo finally shows his true colors? Won't Lussuria be happy–" Knives gleaming in his hands, Bel turned a smile-less face towards Fran who gulped and edged away. "But, I'm still not forgiving you for calling me ugly prince."

Squalo kneeled rooted to the spot, the words of his kouhais ringing through his head. Player… true colors… Lussuria… happy…?

What.

"I'M NOT GAY, DAMN IT!" Squalo finally roared, struggling to get out of Dino's grip. "YOU FUCKING BRATS, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Dino's arms tightened around Squalo's waist and his quiet voice said, "Don't say things like that, Squalo."

Startled, Squalo stopped in the middle of his furious rampage. "Huh?"

"Don't say things like 'I'm going to kill you'… It's too sad…"

Squalo could feel Dino's tears seeping in through his coat. It was disgusting. He bashed Dino on the head, sending him crashing to the ground, passing the twinge of regret he felt off as a stomachache when the man lay pitifully on the carpet, making no moves to get back up.

"The hell, Cavallone?" Squalo snarled, unnerved. "Did your mom die or something?"

"Tsuna."

"Huh?" Squalo said, eyebrow twitching as he looked down on the motionless Dino. "What about that brat?"

"He's dead."

Xanxus burst out laughing as Squalo relayed the news. "So that pathetic piece of trash is finally dead, huh?"

"Boss," Levi said almost tearfully, "this means you can finally take your rightful place as the Boss of the Vongola!"

A wine bottle crashed against Levi's head, making him totter to the side and collapse onto Lussuria, who caught him as if Levi were a swooning lady. "Now, now, boss darling," Lussuria crooned, ducking when another bottle was sent flying at his own head. "Let's be gentle."

"I only want the Vongola at its strongest," Xanxus said calmly. "I know that it's not there yet."

So the Vongola Tenth brat was dead? As much as he hated to admit, this was a major problem for the Vongola in the war against Millefiore. The brat was strong, although scrawny, and the Vongola had only just barely held on this long because of his quick, calm orders. Snorting, Xanxus downed his wine in one gulp.

The fuck should he care whether the brat was dead or alive?

As Xanxus downed bottle after bottle of wine imperiously on his throne-like chair, Squalo slipped out of the room before Bel started playing darts again – with Squalo as the target. Grumbling, he made his way through the long stretches of hallway leading to the kitchen. He flicked on the lights, opened a bottle of water, turned around and then –

"JUST WHAT THE HELL, CAVALLONE. ARE YOU SOME FUCKING GHOST OR SOMETHING?"

Dino slipped on the spilled water and fell flat on his face, once again making no attempts to get up. He lay there like a sodden mop, absorbing water from the dirty floor. Fuming, Squalo grabbed the back of Dino's shirt and hauled him over to a chair where he sat dazedly, eyes unfocused. His head tottered from side to side on his neck unsteadily like those bobble heads Squalo so wanted to line up and decapitate.

"Yo, Squalo," Dino said giddily. "What's up?"

Blinking, Squalo snarled, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Dino giggled – giggled – and Squalo shuddered. He was seriously frightened – no, he was unsettled now by Dino's strange actions (because Squalo was a manly man, and manly men never got scared), and a second later he was even more unnerved when Dino burst into tears.

"I'm never going to see him again," Dino said quietly, when he had calmed back down. "Can you imagine that? My cute sworn brother – he's not going to come back."

Squalo grunted as he poured coffee grains into two cups.

"I never had a chance to say goodbye to him," Dino said miserably. "The last time I saw him, I had to rush off because Romario called me back to the base. He was about to tell me something, but I cut him off. Oh god, I'm such an idiot.

"Gokudera must be devastated," Dino said, laughing hollowly. "Takeshi, too; I heard they had a fight just before he died. Ryohei also always saw Tsuna as a younger brother; he must be beating himself up. Mukuro and Chrome – they were always strange kids, but I'm sure they're sad, too. And Lambo, the poor kid. Kyouya – is probably just doing his own stuff as usual. I really can't believe it," Dino said, leaning back in his chair. He let the tears fall again from his closed eyes. "Tsuna kicked the bucket just like that and left everyone behind.

"I wonder if I'll go like that, too," Dino said, breaking into a dry smile. "If I'll just one day get shot or something and leave Romario with my mess and crap. I'll be gone just like Tsuna." He laughed bitterly. "Just like that, someone so special is gone from this world. Squalo," Dino said, eyes still closed. In a rush, he asked, "Have you ever thought about death?"

Death? Squalo mused, stirring the dark brown coffee. "Not really," he had to say. "If you mess up, then you die, and that's it."

"That's it?" Dino echoed. "You don't think anyone would be sad?"

Squalo snorted. "Are you kidding me? That shitty boss would break out the champagne from the nineteenth century he's been saving up and Levi would dance on my grave. If I had a grave," Squalo added. "Bel would use my gravestone as a practice target and Fran would put ghost illusions everywhere just to prove his point that I'm weird. Sad? Don't fuck with me."

"I'd be sad."

Squalo didn't quite process what Dino said until about a minute later. Guffawing, he nearly dropped the hot coffee on his toes and sputtered, "you'd be what?"

"I'd be sad," Dino said seriously. "I've always seen you as a friend, even if we've had our rough spots here and there."

Friend?

"I don't want to lose anyone else, Squalo," Dino said, looking like he was about to cry again. "Losing Tsuna – that's more than enough. It's too much."

Squalo grunted and set down a cup of coffee in front of Dino. He stared moodily at the reflection in the coffee.

"I never thought Tsuna would go," Dino confessed. "I know it's stupid; everyone has to go at one point or another… but Tsuna's just so… naïve that it's like something like death would never touch him. I wish I could've been there to help when he went… maybe I could have done something – maybe he'd be alive still if I'd been there."

"Just shove it," Squalo snapped. All this talk of things he didn't know how to respond to was making him edgy. "I didn't come here to listen to you blubber. If those guardian brats of his couldn't do anything, what makes you think you could have?"

"But it's the possibility that's killing me," Dino said, voice full of pain. "If I had been there, could I have done something?"

Squalo growled. What the hell was he doing, putting up with all of this crap? Friends. The word rang in his head. He and Dino, friends? Don't joke around.

Squalo was just an unfortunate who had been caught by surprise by Dino's depression. That was it.

"Listen, bucking horse," Squalo snarled. "I don't know why I'm leaving your head still attached to your neck, but I'm going to say this once and only once, so you had better listen good. That piece of trash – do you think it'll do him any good if you sit around and cry your damn eyes out like this? Instead of thinking about what you could have done, think about what you can fucking do now. It's – It's not like you to sit around crying like this," Squalo said gruffly. "Get up and get over it."

He stood up, feeling a little proud of himself (and really weird) inside for being able to spout that crap out like a fountain. Casting a scornful look at Dino just to make himself feel more like himself, he turned to leave.

"Thanks, Squalo."

"Huh?"

It must have been the first time anyone had ever said a genuine thanks to him. With the boss throwing wine bottles, Bel flinging knives, and Levi stabbing with umbrellas to express their gratitude, Squalo was unused to the words Dino had just said.

"For always being there for me when I'm being an idiot," Dino said, grinning. He stood and stretched, a fake smile on his face. "Well! I'll be back up and running in a few days. Just give me some time. Thanks," Dino said again, "Squalo. You're not a bad friend at all."

On the brink of tears, Dino brushed past Squalo, head bowed, and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Squalo a little unsettled.

"Friends?" he asked his coffee cup. Whatever that meant, it made him feel a little better inside, like he had a bit of good deep, deep, deep inside of him. Smirking, he raised his coffee cup only to stare, horrified, at Bel's reflection.

Sniggering, Bel danced backward. "Aw, what a cute romance, you sick shark."

"Taichou, I don't know whether to congratulate you or to vomit, but Lussuria-senpai told me to always be kind," Fran said, "so, congratulations."

Eye twitching, Squalo let the coffee cup drop to the ground and shatter. Screw being a good person. Hell, he was in the Varia – why would he need to have any good in him? He bared his teeth in a venomous snarl and yelled, "I'M NOT FUCKING GAY!"

Squalo cursed the dead Sawada Tsunayoshi for making Dino melancholy enough to spout off crap like that.

Friends? Who needed those?

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Next to last chapter up! Thanks for all your support :)

As a thanks, is there anyone else you would like to see in this story before it draws to a close?

For the anon Reviewer, I know some things are wrong XD I started this story before the manga let us know Mukuro was still locked up and I was like "well. That ruins things for me, now doesn't it," when we found out. Thank you for pointing it out! :)