Photos are in reference to Appareil-Photo (one of my previous stories). Feel free to read it, but it isn't necessary X3
Tomorrow was the day.
But that was tomorrow – and right then, tomorrow seemed an eternity away. But at the same time, tomorrow seemed like it would come in a second. Time seemed as if it would zip right past him and leave him in the dust, just as the past twenty one years of his life had.
With a small smile on his face, Tsuna flipped through the pages of the photo album he started up way back in middle school. So many pictures; so many memories; so much happiness…
He hated to think that he would crush all of those things.
There was Yamamoto, swinging his baseball bat and smiling as usual… if only Yamamoto would smile now…
And there was Gokudera, fainting at the sight of Bianchi. A lump formed in Tsuna's throat as he pushed his thoughts to the back of his mind. Gokudera would be devastated tomorrow…
Here was Lambo, picking his nose – blinking – looking away from the camera. Perhaps the saddest fact was that Tsuna wouldn't be able to celebrate Lambo's thirteenth birthday with everyone…
Ryohei raising his fists to the air with his back to the camera… Reborn and Leon taking a snooze… Shamal with poisonous cake plastered all over his face… Mukuro sitting on the couch, Chrome standing behind him… I-pin, Haru –
And Kyoko.
And of course that photo he had managed to take of Hibari. Smiling broadly, he rubbed his arms subconsciously as he remembered the bruises and cuts it had cost him. And the teeth.
But the smile slowly slid off his face as he caught sight of the calendar set on his desk. Tomorrow was marked 'meeting with Byakuran,' but really, that was a disguise for –
Knock, knock, knock.
His own death.
"Ah," Tsuna said, hastily flipping the photo album closed. "Come in!"
"Tenth," Gokudera said, poking his head into the room. "I came to say goodnight."
When Tsuna nodded, Gokudera let a small smile flit across his mature face before stepping into the room. "Tomorrow's the day, huh? …Tenth?"
"Oh, right," Tsuna said, shaking out of his thoughts. "Hopefully, it'll go well."
Would he be able to see that smile again?
How long would it be before Gokudera smiled again?
"Of course!" Gokudera said. His actions were less openly enthusiastic than before, but Tsuna could tell the enthusiasm still lay behind the mature mask Gokudera wore. "With the Tenth, of course it's bound to go well. We just have to make sure Byakuran doesn't pull any tricks, and we'll all be home safe before we know it."
…all be home safe…
Tsuna could barely breathe. Any second, he thought tears would come falling out of his eyes. He was glad it was dark; he didn't want to make Gokudera worry.
"Yeah," Tsuna said. "Hey, Gokudera-kun…"
Wiping the scowl off his face, Gokudera looked at Tsuna. "Tenth?"
Laughing, Tsuna smiled and suddenly hugged Gokudera tightly. "I just wanted to say… thank you for everything."
"H-huh?" Gokudera was at a loss for words. His hands hovered inches away from Tsuna's body as he wondered whether hugging his boss back would be considered rude.
"For fighting for me, protecting me… and above all being my friend. Gokudera-kun, I just want you to know that no matter what happens… I'm grateful to be your friend."
"T-Tenth, I'm not worthy of such praise…!"
Grinning, Tsuna broke the embrace and ushered Gokudera from the room. "You should get to bed. We can't be tired tomorrow!"
He closed the door behind him and waved goodbye to Gokudera, saying, "I'm going to go make the last round and check up on everyone. Goodnight!"
His heart ached when he saw Gokudera smile again – that would be the last smile he ever saw on Gokudera's face – and watched Gokudera's back as he headed down the hallway.
Goodbye, Gokudera-kun.
As he tip-toed through the halls, Tsuna could feel his eyes burn. For the last time, he was strolling down the polished wood hallways down to the rooms of his beloved guardians. For the last time, he was saying goodnight. For the last time…
He shook his head. Now was not the time to be weak-hearted. Already, Irie had set everything up and messed with the ten-year bazooka; already, the plan had been set into action.
No matter what, this had to be done. But…
It hurt.
"Oh? Sawada Tsunayoshi, what are you doing in my part of the mansion?" an airy voice asked. Tsuna leaped around as he felt hot breath sweep past his ear.
"M-Mukuro!" Tsuna stuttered, rubbing his ear. That man, he grumbled inwardly, always had to do things creepily. "I was just looking for you."
"Really?" Mukuro chuckled. He unlocked the door to his room and invited Tsuna in.
Mukuro's room was pretty simple; a desk, chair, bed, and dresser on one side; a few trinkets scattered around. Nothing too elaborate or flashy. Mukuro walked across his room and swung open the windows to his balcony. Tsuna stepped after him, skirting around a nasty looking blob on the floor.
"What is it that you want from me, Sawada Tsunayoshi?" Mukuro said presently. He leaned his elbows on the balcony railing and his chin in his hands, head raised towards the stars.
"I actually don't know," Tsuna lied. He joined Mukuro, resting his arms on the railing. He let his eyes trail across the starry sky, soaking it all in – this would be the last time.
Mukuro chuckled, tilting his head to look at Tsuna. "You've grown up a lot, Vongola."
"Huh?"
"Before, you would always shriek and edge away from me," Mukuro said, smirking when Tsuna turned red from embarrassment. "But now, you're like a whole different man." His eyes traveled back up to the dark sky, reflecting those tiny pinpricks of light that were scattered across the vast expanse like salt spilled on paper. "Confident, charismatic – but still much too naïve."
Tsuna laughed and they stood in silence like that for a while, staring at the stars as the wind rustled through their hair.
"Chrome's always liked the stars," Tsuna said presently. "She told me that story about Maki."
"Did she? The one about the wishes, you mean."
Tsuna nodded. "What do you think she would wish for?"
He watched as Mukuro mulled the question over in his head. Closing his eyes and smiling, Mukuro finally answered, "Probably something weak, like our good health and well-being."
"And if I died tomorrow?"
Mukuro's eyes snapped open and he looked sharply at Tsuna who jerked back and laughed awkwardly. "I mean, just hypothetically. Say that tomorrow at the Millefiore, I die… what do you think Chrome would wish for?"
Luckily for Tsuna, Mukuro didn't think too deeply about his words; he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. Again, Mukuro chuckled that laugh of his that, in the past, would always send chills down Tsuna's spine. Tsuna listened carefully, wanting to relish every moment he spent alive in the presence of his beloved guardians –
Because now he knew that there simply wasn't enough time to do anything like that anymore.
"That girl," Mukuro sighed, gazing back up at the stars, "she really thinks of you as something special. If you died," he mused, tilting his head, "she would probably wish to hear your voice one last time. She's such a child…"
"Would you do that for her?" Tsuna said abruptly.
"Oh? What's this, Tsunayoshi?"
"Just – I mean, well, would you? I mean, we both know that the stars can't really grant wishes… but through illusions, would you do that for her?"
Mukuro considered Tsuna's earnest face for a while before straightening up. He cast one last look at the stars before turning around and returning to his room. But, as Mukuro passed through the windows of the balcony, Tsuna swore that the wind carried Mukuro's response to his ears in an echoing whisper:
"But of course."
Smiling, Tsuna followed after Mukuro, unsurprised that he couldn't feel the man's presence in the room. Counting on Mukuro to keep his word, he shut the door behind him and headed further down along the hallway.
Goodbye, Mukuro, Chrome.
The light to one of the rooms streamed out into the hall, signaling that its occupant was still awake – and doing what?
Playing videogames.
"Lambo," Tsuna called out, knocking on the doorframe.
Lambo jolted and the game controller in his hands clattered to the floor. "A-ah, Tsunayoshi-san. What is it?"
"Just wanted to say goodnight," Tsuna said, chuckling. He strolled into Lambo's room and squatted down beside the twelve-year-old boy. "Say, Lambo… what do you want for your birthday?"
"An elephant," Lambo said immediately. "Or a private jet. Something really cool like that."
"Really? An elephant or a private jet? Not even to see Mom or Dino or be with everyone?"
Shrugging, Lambo picked the game control back up and fiddled with it. "Not really. I mean, you guys are here all the time, right?"
Tsuna smiled and picked up the other game controller that was lying by Lambo. "I guess you're right…"
But what if I told you I wouldn't be here for your thirteenth birthday?
"T-Tsuna? Are you – are you crying?"
Tsuna realized that tears were gathering in his eyes and he blinked rapidly, making a great show of pulling down his eyes and rubbing them as Lambo stared uncomfortably. "Sorry! Something flew into my eyes." He ruffled Lambo's hair and gave him a great big hug. His chest constricted – the last hug he'd give him. "Don't go to bed too late, Lambo. Remember, we have the meeting at Millefiore."
Smiling, he got back to his feet and waved goodnight to Lambo as the boy returned to his videogame.
Happy birthday, Lambo.
Next was Ryohei who was in the middle of his nightly workout. Tsuna could hear the shouts of, "EXTREME! EXTREME!" all the way down the hallway. He peeked into Ryohei's room, smiling when he saw the man throwing punches in front of his television set.
"Onii-san, goodnight!"
"IT'S EARLY TO THE EXTREME, SAWADA!" Ryohei roared, pulling Tsuna into his room. "COME! You should do these extreme exercises with me! Lussuria sent them." Ryohei struggled to open the DVD player for a few moments before bellowing in frustration and throwing the thing out the window.
"EXTREME! I can do this by myself to the extreme!"
Tsuna hastily snuck out of the room while Ryohei remained occupied, grinning to himself – smiling, but at the same time crying…
Goodbye, Onii-san.
And lastly…
"Hibari-san," Tsuna said softly, sliding open the door. "Are the preparations ready?"
His eyes looked downfallen. The air was uninviting, even more so than usual. Hibari was sitting at his small table with his back to the door, calmly sipping his tea as its aroma mixed in with the air.
"Leave, herbivore," Hibari said coldly. "I have no more business with you after tomorrow."
While not being able to be present for Lambo's first birthday of his teenage years was painful, this was painful in a whole different way. Forcing one of his own guardians to kill him…
What kind of horrible person was he?
Tsuna shook his head, fighting down his tears. He seemed more prone to crying today than he had ever been in his life. He laughed at himself.
"I just wanted to say thank you," Tsuna said quietly. When no answer met his ears, he swallowed a tired sigh and slid the door closed.
It hurts…
With heavy steps, he made his way back to his own room, staring blankly at his feet.
I'm sorry, Hibari-san.
There was one more light on in the Vongola mansion, but Tsuna didn't know if he dared to set foot into that room. He stopped, breath catching in his throat as he peered timidly into the room.
Yamamoto was lying in the bed, arms behind his head, staring straight up at the ceiling.
"If your dad had died while you were out, and you came home and found him dead on the floor with bullets in his head–"
Tsuna didn't know how long he stood at the doorway with those memories rushing in.
"– and if you knew that if you had stayed with him, like you should've, he'd be alive – wouldn't you act like me?"
Yamamoto never once looked in his direction during the time Tsuna stood rooted to the spot. He didn't know whether Yamamoto knew that he was standing there or not, but –
"You don't understand."
It hurt.
"Go away."
He tore his feet from the wooden boards and went back to his room without a word. Wiping his eyes, he opened his drawer and made sure the letters he had written the night before were all in place.
In each of them, he had written the things he would never be able to say – an apology to Yamamoto, a happy birthday to Lambo, and a clue for Mukuro. In Gokudera's letter, he had left a secret message he knew would be found sooner or later. He had messed up a little, forgetting an 'a' in 'guardians,' but that hardly mattered… Tsuna had told Hibari about the message and was sure that the man would find a way to fix it…
Hibari… Tsuna almost cried when he thought about what he was making Hibari do. He found himself holding his breath and pressing his shaking hand against his mouth as the tears threatened to fall again – but since no one was there, he really let them fall this time, wiping them away with his sleeves.
"I'm sorry… everyone… Mom and Dad, too…"
I'm so sorry…
What if it all went wrong? What if, after he 'died,' the rest of his family was also killed? Reborn was already dead – and he had died so quickly at that. There was no telling what might happen after Tsuna's 'death.' If he had overestimated the abilities of his past self… then he would have just caused pain all for nothing. He would wake up one day and find it all to be gone – and all for nothing –
Ring – ring – ring
Hastily, he cleared his throat and answered the incoming call on his cell phone. "Hello?"
"Tsunayoshi-kun – I managed to get away from my subordinates for a quick second – I said I was constipated – god, that was embarrassing."
Tsuna found his throat too choked up to even fake a laugh, and he only nodded though he knew Irie wouldn't be able to see him. But Irie seemed to understand.
"…Are you ready? It's tomorrow."
No, he wanted to scream. No, he was not ready. He didn't want to make Hibari a 'murderer;' he didn't want to destroy Gokudera's happiness. He didn't want to hurt them – his family –
As if he had read Tsuna's mind, Irie said:
"Your family is stronger than you think it is, Tsunayoshi-kun. Have faith in them. Your younger self, too – it's going to work out. Just believe –"
"But there's nothing to believe in," Tsuna whispered. "I'm leaving them all behind. What if it goes wrong and when I wake up –"
…I'm all alone?
Irie was silent for a moment.
"Tsunayoshi-kun… Now is not the time to be fragile-hearted. It is now or never… the chance won't come again. Don't be afraid. We both agreed that this is the best way."
"I know," Tsuna said, taking a deep breath. "I know. Don't worry, Irie-kun, I won't back out…
"See you later… I hope."
"We'll see each other later, for sure. Goodnight."
He was on his hands and knees, surrounded by unmoving bodies. He could feel blood sliding down his skin as his ragged breath rang in his ears. The mist swirled around him, dancing to the tune of death, forming bony hands that reached out to him as if beckoning him to come.
Presently, he came to notice that someone was standing behind him.
"Hibari, is that you?"
Ah…
It looked like his time had come.
"Are the others alright?"
Of course, there was no answer.
Time seemed to stop for him in that moment.
Tsuna felt oddly calm.
He closed his eyes.
Slowly, he turned.
One by one, each with a deafening blast, the bullets left the gun.
Fog fell like a curtain around Tsuna, as quickly as his body fell. He had no time to take a last look at his guardian; he was not sure he wanted to. Instead, as numbness swept slowly across his entire body and as his eyelids slowly shut, he contented himself with the memories of laughter and smiles…
He was putting his last hopes on the edge of a cliff. He was risking that laughter and those smiles all in one go…
But now… now was not the time to worry about these things.
Because Sawada Tsunayoshi had slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep.
I hope that wasn't too bad ^_^" The story's finally about to come to a close. Hope to see you one last, final time, everyone!
Thank you.
