Author's Note: Thanks for your patience! I struggle a little with this chapter, I'm still not so sure about it… But I did write some of the later chapters and I'm excited to get to those. :) So… please review! Also to those who celebrate it: Merry Christmas!

Chapter Nineteen

Nightmares

Soda was so relieved to get out of the hospital just a few hours later. The doctor said that all signs of a concussion were gone and Pony would be just fine. As he watched Darry fill out the discharge forms Soda vowed not to let anything like this happen ever again. He would find a way to get his anger under control if it was the last thing he ever did.

Steve and Two-Bit left in Steve's car while the three Curtis brothers went to Darry's truck. Soda went to climb in after Pony, but as he shifted his weight he winced. That kick earlier that afternoon seemed to have really done some damage. He had almost forgotten, it seemed like more than just a few hours had passed. He looked up to see that Darry was standing just on the other side of the truck, watching him carefully.

"Darry," Soda said. He took a breath. I can't do this on my own, he reminded himself. My brothers want to help. "My leg is still hurting. Can you help me up?"

Darry smiled. "Sure, little buddy," he said as he came back around the truck. Darry helped lift Soda up into the truck and he slid over next to Pony.

As Darry moved back around to the driver's side Pony scooted closer to Soda. Soda smiled at his little brother as he put an arm around him. "You feelin' okay, Pony?" Soda asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Pony said, leaning on Soda.

Soda sighed. "Did I mention that I was sorry?"

Pony laughed lightly as Darry started up the truck. "Yeah, a few times." He looked up at Soda. "How's your leg?"

Soda grimaced. "Hurts like hell," he said honestly.

"You probably oughta stay off it for a while," Darry said as they started toward home. "You should take a few days off work."

Soda sighed. He knew that Darry was right. If he pushed himself too much his leg was going to only hurt worse which would make him even more frustrated. But he still didn't like the idea of sitting alone in the house for days at a time.

"It's just so dull at home," he mumbled, leaning his head back against the seat.

Darry glanced over at him, then his eyes drifted down to Pony who was curled up against him. "Well, tomorrow's Sunday, so we'll all be home anyway," Darry pointed out. He paused. "You oughta take it easy too, Pony. Maybe you could stay home Monday. If you don't have any tests or nothin'."

Pony grinned over at Darry. "No, I don't got no tests," he said.

Soda knew that Darry was letting Pony off mostly for his benefit rather than Pony's, but he wasn't about to complain. He was grateful to have some company. And he was grateful that after everything that happened that day his brothers still trusted him. Darry was going to leave Pony alone with Soda and Pony was happy to be left with him. A few hours ago Soda thought something like that would ever happen again. A few hours ago he had been convinced that he had just watched his whole life fall apart and destroyed what was left of his family.

It was dark by the time they pulled up in front of the house. Soda allowed Darry to help him down out of the truck and leaned on him all the way into the house until he was able to collapse into the recliner. At that point he felt like he couldn't stand on his own if his life had depended on it, even if his leg wasn't still aching painfully. He was just so exhausted.

"Pony, you sit down too," Darry said as he headed for the kitchen to make dinner. He shook his head. "You both are a mess," he laughed to himself.

"I feel fine, Darry," Pony called after him, but sat on the couch all the same. Soda laughed lightly to himself, still reveling in how normal things had turned out. He was still trying to wrap his head around the whole day.

Darry brought out dinner just as he always did and conversation drifted around safe subjects such as school and work as the three of them ate.

"Soda?"

Soda pried his eyes open as Darry shook his shoulder lightly. He hadn't even realized he had closed them. Darry was crouched beside the recliner when Soda could have sworn that just a second ago he had been sitting on the far end of the couch. He glanced down and realized that his dinner plate that had been in his lap just a moment ago was gone and then he looked up again and realized that so was Pony. He could hear the water running in the kitchen.

"Huh?" Soda said vaguely, blinking as he looked around the room.

"You nodded off," Darry said with a small smile. "C'mon, time for bed. You need to get some rest, little buddy."

"Yeah, okay," Soda said, stifling a yawn.

Darry reached down and helped Soda to his feet. Soda didn't bother with his cane, he was simply too tired to deal with that right now. Instead he just leaned fully on his big brother for support.

"You're leg still hurting?" Darry asked as Soda winced.

Soda simply nodded. As they made their way down the hallway Soda heard Pony come up behind him, apparently just coming from doing the dishes in the kitchen.

"Hey Soda," he spoke up. Darry and Soda paused and Soda twisted around to look at Pony, still blinking sleepily. "You can sleep in my room tonight if you want. Like you used to."

Soda looked at him for a moment. He remembered the last time Pony had invited him to stay with him. It had been the best night sleep he had gotten in a while. But he also remembered Darry lecturing Pony the next day, saying that Soda wasn't safe. He looked up at Darry a bit unsurely. After everything that happened he didn't want to cross any lines.

"Is that okay?" Soda asked slowly, sounding very young.

Darry gave him a strange look. "Of course it is, little buddy."

"Well it's just you didn't seem so happy about it last time I slept in his room," Soda said, dropping his gaze down to the floor.

Darry sighed. "You heard that?" he asked. Soda nodded. He frowned and looked a bit uncomfortable. "I'm sorry about that, little buddy. I was just… you've been a bit unpredictable since you got back."

Soda nodded, feeling his stomach sink slightly. "Yeah, I know," he said.

"But I trust you," Pony spoke up. He looked up at Darry a bit defiantly.

"Even after what I did this afternoon?" Soda asked.

"We all saw how what you did tore you up," Darry pointed out. "I know that you're not gonna let anything like that happen again, Soda."

Soda sighed. "What if I can't control myself?"

"We both trust you, Soda," Darry said steadily.

Soda smiled lightly. "Thanks guys."

"We're family, little buddy," Darry reminded him. "We'll figure our way through this. In the meantime, where would you like to sleep?"

"I'll sleep in Pony's room," Soda said, and Pony grinned at him.

Darry helped Soda limp into Pony's room and he fell heavily onto the bed. He wanted to fall asleep right then but Pony came in a moment later with Soda's pajamas and convinced him that he shouldn't sleep in his DX uniform.

"Shout if you two need anything," Darry said with a smile.

"Thanks Darry," Soda said sincerely.

Soda managed to change and lay down on his side of the bed. After Pony had changed he carefully crawled over Soda to his own side of the bed. Soda smiled to himself as he rolled over and threw an arm over his little brother. Things felt normal again.

"How have your nightmares been, Pony?" Soda asked as he thought back to the old days, the days before the war had been such a intricate part of their lives.

Pony looked over at him. He paused for a moment, as if debating whether or not to tell the truth. "I had a real bad one the night after you left," he finally said quietly. Soda squeezed him closer, hating that he hadn't been there for his little brother. "Darry woke up when I screamed and came in. He ended up staying in here with me that night."

"I'm glad that he was there for you, Pony," Soda said quietly.

Pony nodded. "It was odd at first," he admitted. "But Darry was really comforting. He was able to keep it together so well after you left and that kept the rest of us together."

Soda nodded. He was glad that everything hadn't fallen apart when he had left so long ago. He couldn't help but think that he had disrupted everyone's lives more by coming back broken than he did when he had been forced to leave.

Soda was starting to drift off again when Pony spoke once more, his voice quiet. "What about your nightmares?"

Soda was silent, thinking that maybe he could just pretend that he had drifted off to sleep in the dark room. But somehow he knew that Pony would see through his lie. After everything that happened that day, didn't Pony deserve the truth? Even if Soda didn't really want to tell him.

"They've been bad," he said softly, his voice shaking slightly. It was the first time he had really admitted it out loud.

"Are they about the war?" Pony asked.

Without really thinking about it Soda wrapped his arms around his kid brother protectively. "Yeah kid… they are about the war," he said quietly.

"Was it really bad… over there?"

Soda sighed. "It was awful," he said. "It was… scary. There was just… death everywhere. It got to a point where I don't even think anyone in my platoon really knew or cared why we were there. We just wanted to make it out alive."

Soda found that he had begun shake as he remembered. Pony rolled over to face Soda and wrapped his arms around him.

"You're safe now, Soda," Pony whispered.

Soda smiled lightly as he hugged his little brother back. He was so glad to be home.