Beck

I didn't think I'd ever feel like this. Like doing anything other than sleeping would make me suffer this much, even just the thought of it. I think I half died, I'm still here, physically, but now that she's gone... I don't know I just don't want to leave my RV ever again.

How could she? How could she leave me like this? I've been sending her messages and she won't answer, the cellphone doesn't even ring when I call and her father won't let me talk to her. I don't have enough money to buy a ticket to go to Tennessee on my own... I have no way of reaching her. I can't follow and fix things I... I don't know what to do. I...

I hate her. I hate her! Why the fuck did we date in the first place? Fuck, she was always so screwed up it starting to get into my head! When did I become the type of guy that loves girls? That gets attached? Screw attached, fuck love! I need hook ups, and girls that won't fucking leave. No, this won't happen again, I will never love another woman because it's just not worth it. You plan your future, you go through a shit tone of fuckery so that she can run away?

Seven months. Seven months of 'I love you's' and 'I can't imagine life without you' and 'they say this shit ant that shit' just so she can back out and leave me like a fucking idiot.

Fuck Tori Vega.

"Oh shit what died in here?" I turn my attention to the door, to see exactly what I needed.

"Moose?" He shuts the door, and turns on the light for the first time in a week, I still hate it. But that has to change, because Tori loved the dark, so I have to learn to hate the dark just as much as I hate Tori.

"Fuck man, go shower, pack your crap and let's get out of this country" He grabs one of the many suitcases I own, and throws it in my bed "Your Dad paid for the tickets, told me you were acting like a dickhead and, he was right. We're gonna get ourselves some good Canadian girls"

I grab some stuff, and my hair keeps falling on my face. I have to push it back all the time and it's getting pretty annoying. I have to get rid of all this hair, it's always on the away and it's not worth it. Plus, it's like a magnet for crazy girls, it always was, I can't deal with it anymore.

Vancouver

Moose and his current hook up get out of them room with a keg of beer, leaving just me and this random girl. I never bothered to learn her name, it's not like it's going to matter and plus, I'm so drunk I'm probably not even going to remember half of this by tomorrow.

"I can't believe you cut your hair" She pulls what's left of it and kisses my ear in way that I don't like, but considering she's sitting on my lap without her shirt on I don't really mind. I draw her face away from my ears and suck her neck leaving a giant hickey "You're still really hot though... Let's move to the bed" I pick her up, and put her on the bed when I her something falling. I glance at the floor, to see that's my cellphone with a photo opened of... "Aren't you into foreplay?" I let the girl go and pick up my phone. In the photo Tori's wearing the sound blockers I gave her, sleeping in my RV wearing one of my pleaded shirts. It was rare for me to see Tori sleeping, and she always looked so peaceful... so... so.. "what's wrong?" I sit down and stare at the screen, unable to speak. How did I think, even for a second, that I hated her? Why did I come here? I should've sold my ticket and have bought one to Chattanooga! I should've gone after her I... I... Fuck, I... "Is that your girlfriend? Don't worry I'm not jealous"

She tries to kiss me but I pull her away. How am I going to live without Tori? How she give up on us so easily? Why didn't I see this coming, I spent twenty four hours a day with her she must have given me some signs! I look down at the phone, the screen is all wet, my face is wet and my pants are wet. I'm half naked, I'm drunk and I'm weeping. I'm a dickhead.

But I just miss her so much. "Oh fuck, Sharon get out" I don't really understand what happens next. I just know that I can't stop crying, and that Moose is taking me somewhere, but I don't care where because the only place I want to be right now is Tennessee.

"You have to let me call her" I beg, slipping on something but he doesn't let me fall. "Without Tori I'm nothing but fluffy hair and emptiness... No, I cut my fluffy hair... I'm nothing. TORI!"

I start to get nauseous, and luckily we happen to be inside a house. And I can throw up in the sink "Tori threw up in my shoes once, but it's fine because after that we decided to name our child Turtle" I puke more and I hate puking, I hate being in Vancouver and I hate that Tori ran away. But I love her, so much "I'm so miserable"

"My lord, what's going on?"

"Grandma?! When did you join the..." I throw up, and it's a horrible sensation, but not as horrible as Tori leaving me, nothing will be as horrible as that. I sit down in a couch I didn't know was there, maybe if I stay crying long enough, I will be able to swim in a lake of my own tears.

"Moose you can go now" My grandma sits down next to me, and hands me a bucket that I throw up in. I think this bucket will be my best friends.

"when is it going to stop?" I cry, resting my head inside the bucket, that smells really bad but I'm to tired to care.

"The throwing up?"

"No grandma" Great, I'm crying again. I can tell because my face is sticky and wet, and sometimes, when I kissed Tori her face was sticky only that felt a lot better because I wasn't alone, but also, it felt a lot worse because the worst thing in the world is seeing Tori cry.

"So this is about Tori"

"Don't say her name!"

"Alright I'm sorry" she taps my shoulder, and I rest my back on the couch. I feel like I'm made of sad jelly. "You know drinking away your problems won't work"

"But I miss her so much" I rub my eyes, open up space to cry more "I think I'm going to die" She puts her arm around me, and I rest my head on her shoulder.

"I know you do baby, I know you do"

"Oh fuck" I sit up, and all I can feel is my head aching like a bitch. What the hell did I drink last night? And how could Tori do that repeatedly?

Tori...

I pick up my cellphone and try calling her again, it says it's occupied straight up. There has to be a way for me to reach her.

I get up, and realize I'm still dizzy as fuck, and remember the reasons why I stopped drinking this much with Moose. "I see you got up" My Grandma ties her shoelaces, and gets up standing by the door. "I locked all my pills away, because I think that hangover itself is the best anti-alcohol advertising"

"You couldn't be more right" I sit down on the floor, next to all of my luggage to get my laptop. She might not answer my calls, but she can't stay away from the internet.

"DO YOU WANT SOMETHING FROM THE STORE?!" She yells, and I'm pretty sure she's doing it on purpose. She can behave like such a kid sometimes. "NO? ALRIGHT!"

I open it and get my case, turning the computer on and getting up to shut all the blinds in this one day that it should rain the most, and have the darkest weather, the city wakes up in a sunny day.

I log on into the slap, and... She deleted her page?

I don't know what to think now. She did it, she managed to cut me off. I know she told me she thinks she's a disease, but she's wrong! She's the opposite of that, and if you love someone you stay with them! It can't end like this, she chose the easy way without even asking me what I wanted, fuck, I've never been mad at her but now... Now I just don't know what to feel.

I look at the notifications, and I have one new message from an anonymous profile, could it be...

'We accept the love we think we deserve'

Quote from the Perks of Being a Wallflower... It had to be Tori to send me that, why would anyone else do so? Should I think she set me free? Should I thank her for that or should I be angry? I was angry and I ended up drunk. Depressed didn't work either, I didn't leave my RV for a week. I'm stuck, I don't know what to do now that she's gone.

The Slap: Beck Oliver

Relationship Status: Single

A/N: Hello guys! Thanks for reviewing on the last chapter I really hope to get a good follow up on this one too! And dillydill11 I will virtually hug you too I think we all need that! Love you guys,

- Kiribati