"I'm not doing it." she says.
We're behind the small curtain they set up on the deck. Of course she wants to back out at the last minute.
"Come on! Please." I say.
"No! You go. You're the one who wanted to play The Newlywed Game." she says.
"But I didn't want to play with myself!"
"Most people don't."
"That's not what I meant."
She holds the file in my face, "We've only got three days to track this guy down and then we have to go back to New York. I don't have time for this kind of thing."
"People are supposed to think we're newlyweds. If we don't play along they'll know somethings up. What am I supposed to tell them?"
"Tell them you're wife said no."
"They won't believe I let my wife tell me what to do."
"If they're married they will.
From behind the curtain I can hear the young kid from the crew looking for us. "Mr. Jones," he says, "Mrs. Jones."
I may have told him our names were Mr. and Mrs. Jones."
"He's calling us!"
"I wouldn't have said yes to begin with. We're wasting time just arguing over this."
"Come on. He's waiting. Please."
The kid yells louder this time, "Mr. Jones! We're ready for you. Calling Mr. Jones!"
The kid pokes his head behind the curtain, "There y'll are. You ready?"
I make my eyes extra pleady, "Please?"
She rolls her eyes, "You really want this don't you?"
"Yes!"
She puts one hand on her hip, "Let's get this over with."
The kid takes us to a tiny stage with four chairs. We take a seat in our two. Crew members are still setting up the microphones and speakers while the rest of the passengers barely take notice.
Next to us the other couple sits down. They both have skin that's spent way too much time in the sun and bodies that have spent too much time at the gym. The guy isn't even wearing a shirt just his green swim trunks and flip flops. The girl has bleached hair with dark roots. She's got on a tiny coverup over what I can only assume is a very skimpy bikini. The guy holds out his hand to me.
"So you're the other couple." he says.
American accent. Possibly Californian.
"It's nice to meet you. I'm Matt, this is my wife, Jessica."
We shake hands and his wife waves to us, "Nice to meet you." I say.
Matt points back and forth between us, "How long have you two been together?" he says.
I feel a knot in my stomach and turn to Kate, "How long has it been sweetie?"
She shrugs her shoulders and looks down at her hands, "You tell me…sweetie."
I say the first number that comes to mind, "Five years."
"Wow. Five years." Matt says, "That's a long time. Five years ago we were still in high school. Weren't we babe?"
"That's right." Jessica says.
I nod, "You look like you still belong there."
"I don't know about you guys but we're pretty excited about this." Matt says, "We've never been to the crew bar."
Kate looks up from her lap, "The crew bar?"
"Yeah, didn't they tell you?" Matt says, "That's the prize. Five drink tickets at the crew bar. It's supposed to be amazing.
Jessica crosses one overly tanned leg over the other, "We'll let you know how it is."
Kate crosses one of her legs over the other, "Or maybe we'll let you know how the crew bar is."
"I don't mean to sound competitive but Jess and I are pretty in sync. Most people would describe us as inseparable." Matt says.
"Inseparable?" I say. "That's a pretty strong word."
Kate narrows her eyes, "You know what's a stronger word? Soulmates."
"Isn't that two words?" says Jessica.
"Nope it's one. Pretty sure. Sort of sure." Kate says.
"It's one." I say.
Matt nudges me on the shoulder, "Just hope you can remember all the small details about your wife old man…at your age it can be tough."
"Excuse me?" I say.
"He's not old." Kate says.
"Thank you." I say."
"He is however older than me. Six years older. At least. I'm practically your age." she says to Jessica."
The announcer starts to call passengers over to watch the show on the loud speaker. Matt turns to me one last time.
"Let the best couple win." he says.
I look back at his cheap tan and old swim suit, "Oh we will."