Time seemed to crawl by for Kai after having left the care of the healer and making his way to Master Quatra's quarters. Night was already setting upon the compound and most of the inhabitants of the Enclave had retired for the day, leaving Kai to walk the hallways in quiet solitude, which he preferred.
Mical had immediately left him after arriving at the medical center without as much as a word between them. The boy had not wanted to speak with him. Was he mad at him for partaking in that combat match? Confused by what had occurred on that arena? Scared at the level of ferocity the raven-haired Jedi was able to partake of?
For Kai, the answer was all three…
Why had he allowed himself to partake in that match? A part of him knew that it was because he had wanted to fight that prodigal student, Revan. Something about him just seemed to… challenge Kai in such a way that he did not understand, as if they conflicted on a higher level.
The other reason… it was not hard for Lugo to deduce…
Ever since being taken in by the Order, Kai had found himself receiving little in the ways of recognition. Many Masters seemed to have trouble giving him attention, as if he was a waste of their time; a nuisance that they had to pass around among each other.
It had been hard for him to feel any sense of self-worth ever since… well, then… and it was not until he met Master Kavar that it became a little easier.
Maybe here, in a rare moment where he got to be amongst his peers for more than a day, he had just wanted to show that he was actually good at something. Maybe good for something…
A childish reason, but one Kai found compelling more often than not. After all, beyond a life he was trying hard to forget, this life was the only one he knew. And yet it seemed as if he barely had a place in it.
He could fight, yes, as he had proven time and time again wherever he was. Few seemed to have an appreciation of it though, and fewer seemed to have an appreciation of him, as a student or otherwise.
Was this need for self validation something that the other students of the Order felt, Kai wondered? If they did, they managed to hide it well. Most seemed rather content with their roles, as though they had the certainty of self-value. As if simply being a student was enough for them.
For Kai, for someone who only knew self-worth through his actions, not labels and titles like the ones he bared in his younger years, perhaps becoming a Jedi did not mean as much to him as it did to others.
When Vandar had first offered him a place in the Order, the Jedi Master had asked the young boy what it was that he wanted in life. Kai realized now that his answer back then was probably not one the little green alien had expected to receive, nor one that he could grant.
His answer had been that he did not want to have to fight anymore.
That life… it had been one seemingly endless war against inevitability. His earliest memories recalled an existence of being passed around by several individuals as debt collateral and payment, placed in menial labor and treated with little more dignity than a pet gizka.
He escaped that nightmare only to find himself deep within another in the depths of Coruscant. A nightmare in which he could do nothing but fight; fight to eat, to stay warm, to avoid slavers and anyone else who looked to a street urchin as a means of taking their vices out upon. He fought against that nightmare for himself and for so many others to the point that it nearly killed him more times than he cared to remember.
Master Vandar had been nothing short of a savior in the young Guardian's eyes, and yet the emerald-eyed Padawan found himself unable to completely accept the new life he had been given. Or perhaps it would not accept him…
Why? He did not know...
For those like Mical, the reason seemed to be a simple lack of confidence. All it took was for Kai to show a little support and companionship and the youngling found his strength of will.
But then, what was Lugo's reason? Why did he not feel he belonged in that room, training alongside the other Padawans? Was it as that prodigal student named Revan had suggested? Was he really different from the rest of them? If so, how? He was not a prodigy. He did not bring anything special to the Jedi.
Maybe there was no reason…
Maybe he simply did not belong…
Maybe he was more of a thief than a Jedi…
It occurred to Kai then that he had walked pass Master Quatra's chambers without noticing, forcing him to turn back around.
Placing such thoughts far out of his mind as he reached the doorway, he pressed down on the call panel. Standing there, waiting for her to answer, he realized that he had not really considered exactly what it was that Quatra desired to speak to him about. Was he in trouble? He was unsure but it would not have surprised him. She could not have been pleased with what she had walked in upon when she entered the training grounds: two Padawans interlocked in a vicious duel, with one limping on a badly-damaged leg, and the other coughing up blood.
The image caused Kai to wince in discomfort, berating himself for his own foolishness. He should have just walked away. Why had he allowed himself to be manipulated by that spice-head of a Protégé? It was a question he suspected the young Master would ask him, and he had no idea what answer he should give.
The door to the Master's quarters opened then, revealing the room on the other side. The lighting of the immediate chamber was that of late twilight, colored with interweaving shades of greens and blues, providing an illumination for which one could see quite clearly, yet without being assaulted with brightness.
From the doorway, Kai spotted Master Quatra sitting quietly at a desk at the far end of the chamber, her back towards him as she was comfortably leaning back in her seat and apparently studying over something in her right hand, though the Padawan could not perceive what from where he stood.
"Please enter, Kai," the young Master called out to the student without turning to greet him. Complying, Kai calmly stepped into the room, granting him a better view of the chamber. He found himself standing in what was apparently a study, the walls of the room aligned with shelves filled to the brim with tomes, datapads, and a handful of relics and artifacts that the teenage student could not identify. There was also two other doorways within the room beyond the one Kai had taken to enter: one with an old-fashioned, stained-glass door that lead to somewhere the young Guardian could not determine, and a more standard automated doorway that he imagined lead to the Master's private chamber. He also found the reason for the strange luminance. While the overhead lamps provided the general lighting, it was the grand collection of flora that gave the colorful atmosphere; a wide assortment of exotic ferns, palms, and mosses that seemed to glow with an eerie yet calming bluish green.
"A fondness for botany, Master Quatra?"
Now perhaps was not the best time for sarcasm. Fortunately the Master took the remark in stride, which bode well for Lugo's situation.
"A fondness for the ambience, actually," the young woman responded without yet turning about as Kai slowly approached her. "They provide the presence of life without the struggle; a serenity most never know in there lives. Also, they help me relax in the long hours of the night I am forced to spend in this room."
Another chair was present near Quatra's own, likely having been used by guests in the times that she needed to converse with others on a more personal level. Kai chose to stand though.
He was finally close enough to make out what the teacher was studying over in her hand: a datapad. More so, he noticed the image of a person upon the datapad.
"I doubt you will find that personal record very interesting, Master Quatra." Kai remarked indifferently.
The teacher smiled softly as she laid the record down on her desk. "Master Vandar made mention of your high perceptivity. A skill no doubt developed in your time before joining the Order."
"No doubt…"
Slowly, Quatra turned about in her chair and stood up to face the student more evenly.
Her figure was completely draped in the silk fabrics of her night-robes, her dark hair, still slightly damp from the shower she had taken not twenty minutes ago, hung freely over her left should as she had yet to put it up for the night. The light yet intoxicating scent of jasmine hung about her. As perspective as Kai might have been, it was only at this point that he finally saw that the young Master was quite beautiful; a very un-Jedi-like thought that he quickly buried in the back of his mind as soon as he became aware of it.
No point in avoidance now, the Padawan figured. "How may I be of assistance, Master Quatra?"
The teacher stood silently for a moment, looking back into the eyes of the student, studying him, evaluating him, in a way similar to how the other members of the council had when he had stood before them.
What had she read in his record that made her look upon him in such a way, Kai wondered?
"The other students told me of what had occurred within the training grounds," Quatra finally responded, and Kai was glad for it. He had feared her desiring to ask him of things he had no desire to speak about or remember. "Bandon is still unconscious in the medical wing, and is not expected to recuperate for a couple of days. Knight Nemo will be reporting the event to the Council tomorrow."
To this, Kai simply nodded, having no real part in what had happened in that event and desiring to have nothing more to do with that particular Padawan.
"You do not like him, do you," Quatra remarked evenly and rhetorically.
"I imagine few actually do," Kai just as evenly responded. "It may not be my place to speak ill of a fellow student, but very little about Bandon struck me as being… Jedi-like..."
Only after saying it did Kai realize how hollow such a statement must have sounded hollow coming from him.
Still, Quatra had to resist smiling in order to remain indifferent towards such an apt claim. Though she had little to do directly with Bandon's training, she knew enough about him to know the trouble he had caused in the past, though he had often enough maintained his temper for the council to feel he might be able to eventually gain some manner of peace, or at least humility. She was not so optimistic.
"I've already relayed this to Revan, but you need to know that you are not to engage him in such a match again." Quatra spoke with a much softer tone than the one she had used when having given the same order to Revan.
"Very well…" Kai accepted the restriction without argument, having no real desire to fight or even see the out-spoken Protégé again. That could not have been the only reason why she had needed to speak with him before attending the Council meeting.
"In fact…" Quatra hesitated for a moment before continuing, unsure as to whether saying more would be saying too much. "It would be to your benefit if you did not engage in training matches with any of the other Padawans while you are here…"
And indeed, that did catch the young Guardian's attention. He had no intention of engaging in such a match anytime soon, but still, to be directly told such a thing… "Why?"
How could she answer him? How could she tell him the truth without revealing all? If he knew why he was different, if he learned of what it was that he had unleashed upon the Force within that training chamber, then the Council would not risk him anymore, of this the young woman was certain. They would isolate him, study him, and make sure he was not a risk to anyone or anything again… even if it meant breaking his very connection to the Force.
She did not want that for him. She did not want him to be denied his potential, to be sent off to some corner of the galaxy like Telos to serve as a farmer or diplomat or one of the other many positions given to those Initiates and Padawans who are decided as not having a place within the Order.
So how was she to answer him?
In the end, Quatra had been silent for too long in her search for an answer, and Kai came to one on his own, believing it to be the only one that made sense.
"Master Quatra, am I in trouble with the Council?"
A simple question with not so simple an answer. Kai had not knowingly done anything wrong. And yet after what happened this afternoon, that may no longer be relevant. They will desire to take action.
But that was for her to worry about, not him. She had already decided that she would do what she could to prevent any action taken against him and that was all the concern over the matter she needed for the moment.
But right now, she needed to be his teacher.
"Come with me."
The Jedi Master then walked over to the stained-glass door, opened it and proceeded through without another word to her student.
As to what her intent was, Kai could not guess, but he felt no need to be mistrustful. Though they've had little interaction since the day of his arrival to Dantooine, the young Guardian found Quatra, like Vandar and Kavar, to be more acceptive of him than other Masters.
That was to say she at least managed to take his sarcasm and often nonchalant mannerism without casting him disapproving looks.
Honestly, when Kai walked up to the doorway, he did not know what to expect to see on the other side. Apparently what Quatra kept in her study was but a fragment of the extent she invoked her preferences in ambience.
The room itself was perhaps un-magnificent: grey stone walls that marked off an area about the size of the study, except these were barely seen under the blanket of vines that covered them, growing upward over the dome-glass skylight, through which dozens of small beams of moonlight entered.
More exotic scents found their way into Kai's nose; those of the many flowering plants that filled the room, birthing mostly variations of violet and blue mixed in with the deep, waxy green of their leaves that reflected the soft luminance.
Quatra walked slowly upon the stone walkway, her gentle motions and white, silk robes giving her an almost ethereal appearance, as the path cut between the center bed and the outer ring, circling back around to the doorway.
The young teacher quickly realized that she was still alone within the room, and turned about to find the Padawan silently standing at the doorway.
"Is something wrong?"
Kai looked about the room for a moment before turning his eyes back upon the Jedi Master. "I… feel as though I'm trespassing into a forbidden region, to be perfectly honest."
Quatra smiled warmly in amusement. "Trespassing implies entering without permission…"
With a heavy breath, Kai nodded. "So it does…"
Still, the young Guardian was hesitant in his motions as he took a step into the room, almost as if he expected something to happen in response.
Nothing did though, and Lugo took another moment to look about him at his surroundings, and how strange they were to him, though not in a bad way. He could feel the warmth of life that enveloped the room, different from that of the swarms of people he more commonly, but still rarely, found himself enveloped in. This life was still, silent, un-assaulting and non-defensive at the same time, with none of the rush of urges and emotions that so often accompanied it. It was simple… Just there…
It was such an unfamiliar feeling to the teenage boy: to be bathed in life and yet finding that he did not have to brace himself against it. Stranger still was the sense of clarity he felt himself deriving from it, as if he was being stripped of all the burdens of life as well. It was an alien sensation for the youth who was so used to baring such weight.
"This is my meditation chamber," Quatra explained as she stood on the far side of the path, running her hand against the petals of some of the flowers. "Though, perhaps it is more of a sanctuary for me. Here, I am able to feel the Force when it is calm, unstirred by the emotions and actions of others."
"It's nice…" Kai muttered, unsure as to how he should respond or why he was being shown this place. "One of the benefits for being a Master, no doubt…"
"A benefit I hope you will gain from as well."
To that, the young Padawan found he had no response. As peaceful as he did find this slice of paradise, he was lost as to what exactly the Master intended for him to take from it.
"I've heard you've been helping to train Mical," Quatra remarked as she continued to walk amongst the plants. "And that he has progressed quite well because of it…"
"I would not say I've helped him progress much," Kai replied with an indifferent shrug. "I simply showed him what he was doing wrong. The rest is due to his own abilities."
"And I've heard about the incident he had with Bandon…" She stated more firmly.
But again, Kai remained indifferent. "It was an accident that got out of hand. One I believe that the Knights should have intervened in before I did."
"Yes, I agree," Quatra lightly nodded in concurrence. "In general, we hope that our teachings are enough to help students control and turn aside their stronger emotions. And, in most cases, it has proven effective, so some are not always quick as they should be to intervene on situations that the students may resolve peacefully themselves. However, Bandon, like you, is one of our students that came into our Order at an older age. He… spent many of his earlier years surrounded by aggression, and as much as we've done to help tame his anger, he is still prone to act upon it."
"Then perhaps he does not belong here," Kai remarked, despite knowing it was not his place to say such a thing.
"Nemo is set to speak before the Council on the events that led up to his incapacitation. What happens to him after will be decided then."
Though the young Guardian would have liked to have the peace of mind of knowing that Bandon would be transferred to somewhere far away, not only for his sake but also for Mical's, Kai accepted that the matter was out of his hands. "And what of that other Padawan? That Protégé?"
"You mean Revan?"
"Will he be held accountable for what happened to Bandon?"
Quatra found that she had to pause to truly take in the teenage boy's words, and what they suggested. Despite Kai having openly stated that he did not care for Bandon, could it really be that he was bothered by what Revan had done to him? "I believe he has already explained the incident with Master Zhar, and Nemo has confirmed that Bandon was attacking him when he defended himself."
"He has a funny way of defending himself: throwing someone straight into a stone wall…" Kai muttered in ridicule. In truth, if he believed that Revan had done what he did simply out of a desire to defend himself, then it would not have bothered him as much as it did.
"I would advise you not to worry yourself about that one, Kai," the young Master replied as she continued to admire her surroundings. "Revan is… a different sort of student. Despite his eagerness to learn the ways of the Jedi, the Masters who seek to guide him have had a hard time leading him properly."
"…Like me…?"
Quatra's hand froze as it was caressing the thick leaves of a plant, her eyes becoming tense though Kai could not see them from where he stood. Yet it was apparent to him that his words had hit their mark, perhaps closer than he had expected. Closer than he would have believed…
Slowly the silk-clothed woman turned about to look upon her student, and found through his eyes that his words had been more rhetorical than a question. Regardless, she responded with a question of her own…
"Kai… what do you remember of your life before the Order?"
How the young Guardian responded to such question even caught him by surprise. A stream of memories found their way from the back of his mind to play in front of his eyes. They were blurred, jumbled, a nonsensical chorus of sounds, images, and sensations, yet powerful enough that they still remained inside his thoughts. Before letting them get the better of him, as they had in the training grounds, the Padawan forcefully pushed them back into the dark, closing his eyes to calm and recenter himself.
"A lot," Lugo finally and bluntly responded. "Why…? What does it matter now?"
It had not been as violent as before, but from beneath that mass of memories and thoughts, Quatra had felt it once again. It had been only slightly, a shadow of its true form, but enough to confirm a suspicion she had developed. "I cannot begin to imagine what such a life must have been like for you… I'm not sure that there are many your age that could have survived as you did…"
She had apparently read more from his personal record than Kai desired. Still, he shrugged indifferently. "You learn to survive…"
He wanted it to be unspecial, as if all that he had suffered and experienced in that life within Coruscant's depths had no bearing on anything present. "Is that what you did, Kai? You learned to survive?"
"Yes…"
"And the little ones you watched out for… did they learn to survive, or did you carry that burden for them as well?"
The image of that warehouse, filled to the brim with ragged, forgotten children, flashed for a moment within the young Guardian's mind, before he quickly pushed it back down. He was not sure why he did not want to think of them. Something about remembering their faces, their presence, there was something… painful about it: the memory of the endless struggle that he had endured for them…
"They…" Kai seemed lost for a moment, uncertain of what it was he wanted to say. "… I… did what I could for them. Besides… it wasn't like anyone else was there to do so…"
Quatra silently listened to the teenager, and felt the pain behind his words, despite what he did to keep it in check. But as to the nature of that pain, the young Master was unsure. Regret? Possibly… Anger from abandonment and for those others like him who were abandoned? Just as, if not even more, possible… Yet still she felt that it was perhaps something more…
"I still do not understand why you are asking me this," Kai replied as his gaze fell back on the woman.
Quatra smirked as she lowered her gaze. "You know, Kai, if you were to ask any of the students here or at any other academy why they chose to join the Order, why they desire to become Jedi, I imagine that you would receive something along the same answer from most: To become something more than what they are… To have the ability to serve the greater good, and perhaps change the galaxy for the better…"
It reminded Kai of the speech Vandar had given him when the elder Master had first welcomed the dirty, thieving boy that he was into the Order.
"But not you, Kai," Quatra went on to add as she brought her gaze back upon him. "I believe… your reason for joining the Order has nothing to do with desiring to become more than you were, or in seeking to help others… I saw it when you first came to Dantooine, as did the other Masters…"
"Saw what?"
A long pause fell between them then, Kai waiting for a response, Quatra hesitant to give the one she had. Slowly, she walked around the center bed and came to stand before the raven-haired Padawan who looked back upon her with eyes desiring her answer.
And with a heavy breath, the young Master gave it to him. "Jedi are meant to carry the burdens of knowledge and the power of our choices, Kai. But you… you bear something a bit more… and much heavier in some respects… There are few among the younglings that I believe could have survived what you did in that forsaken place… let alone have the will to care for those who could not care for themselves…"
"Please, Master Quatra…" Kai interjected with a slight tremble in his voice. "Do not make me into something I'm not. I survived and I helped others survive… barely in most cases… but that's all it was and all I care to take from it…"
Quatra's eyes became hard, almost directly challenging the young teenager's words. "Have you forgotten how you were when Vandar found you, Kai? It was something that he described in grave detail within your record, as did the medical physicians who cared for you those first few years…"
Lugo remained silent, not wanting to think about it, but unable to avoid it as the young Master recited what she had read within the record.
"Extremely malnourished, approximately eleven kilograms underweight with early signs of muscle degradation. Eyes red and dry from very long periods of activity without sustenance, lethargy, or possibly even sleep. High sensitivity to ambient and intense light sources. Pale, translucent epidermis with blood samples showing a weak autoimmune system. Life expectancy if allowed to continue: two years at most…"
Kai had kept his eyes close the entire time Quatra had recalled the long buried image, fighting it down with sheer force of will. Strangely, he found that whilst among this secluded garden, that his mind was able to focus quite a bit easier than when he was around others, allowing him to fight back the mixture of images and emotions that arose to assault him with every word. Was this why she had brought him here?
"Wha… what does it matter anymore…?" Kai finally responded as he opened his eyes again, a slight aggression echoing outwards from the severity of his glare and the low growl within his voice as he struggled against himself. "I am not that person anymore so what-"
"-Yes you are, Kai," Quatra responded in a very firm voice to make it clear that it was non-refutable. "You are still every bit the young boy Vandar took in: a youth who instinctively knows how to fight in order to survive, and somehow finds it within himself to fight for others as well, despite how much you suffered for it…"
He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that she had no idea what she was talking about. He wanted to turn around and walk away. Yet he found he could do none of these things. And then she spoke again.
"Why do you think he gave you the name that he did…?"
Her words felt as if they had grabbed Kai by the throat, causing him to choke on whatever thought had been passing through his mind as his gaze went blank.
His name...
In truth he had not thought much on the origin of the name chosen for him. What had he cared? He had been happy just to be given one... He just liked the way it sounded at the time...
Kai Lugo... Kai'ren Lugola... From what he had learned whilst spending a boring day in the public archives on Coruscant, it was apparently a black-feathered sea bird found on some world named Corsin. The ancient natives of that planet apparently once called it the 'Spirit of the Mist', as sailors would take it out with them and release it if they were to become lost at sea, using the creature's natural sense of direction to guide them back to land.
If Lugo recalled correctly, the Kai'ren was also known to commonly collapse from exhaustion and drown in the waters before actually reaching land, unintentionally sacrificing itself at the sake of the sailors it guided, hence birthing its local name along with a long list of prayers and superstitions surrounding it.
Was that how Vandar had seen him as when he found him on Coruscant, Kai wondered? Is that what he was?
Yes, he had fought tirelessly to keep those others like him on Coruscant alive. Yes, he had suffered many wounds because of it, the left side of his face still bearing some slight discolorations from that failed attempt with the old man from long ago. Yes, he starved, he longed for sleep and respite, and pushed himself farther than he believed he could even now.
Yes, he had taken Bandon's wrath upon himself instead of allowing Mical to suffer it, and sought to train the child as he had with others…
"You have not left that life as far behind you as may believe, young Lugo. In fact, all that joining the Order may have done for you is allowed you to catch your breath from that struggle. and allow you to better fit yourself for it," Quatra added with a calmer voice as she felt her words reaching the teenager. "You still seek to suffer for the sake of others, to take their conflicts onto yourself…"
"I thought that's what Jedi did," Kai finally responded as his gaze returned to the woman. "And all I have done so far was helping a kid find a sense of confidence and fend off an ego-drunk fool."
"I am not arguing that your actions have not been admirable thus far, Kai," the Master conceded. "I am simply asking this: did you do what you did for the sake of others, or for your own?"
The question dumbfounded the teenage Guardian, for he did not understand it. "How could what I have done been for the sake of self-interest?"
It was then that the young Master brought her hand before her and pointed at her student, indicating that he had asked the right question. "Think on it for a moment, Kai. Think: what went through your mind when you protected Mical, or chose to train him? Or even from before you joined the Order when you were helping the others like you on Coruscant? You must have been alone and scared, with no one to help you. No one to care for you… For one such as you to have gone out of your way, to have placed yourself in danger for the sake of those willing to concede to their suffering… For anyone to be so selfless… where does such an individual find his strength of will? What makes you sacrifice yourself for the sake of others…"
It was such a simple question, and one that Lugo felt he could answer easily: because it was the right thing to do. And yet as he was about to give his answer, another thought occurred to him, one that muted his voice and brought uncertainty to his eyes. For as he thought on those moments where he had intervened against Bandon and started to help train Mical, he realized... he could not remember why he did such things…
…He had simply… acted without thought, as if by reflex… Had seen the youngling in trouble and moved on the offensive… had sought to help him and the dozens on like him on Coruscant learn to fight and defend themselves and survive…without thinking about what he was doing or what it would cost him...
"You cannot answer, can you, Padawan…" Quatra stated after the teenager stood for several moments in silence, his eyes turned down as he plagued his mind for an answer he never thought to seek before. "You've acted for the sake of others your whole life up to this point without concern for yourself, without thinking of the consequences, or even why you do it in the first place."
"I…" Kai so badly wanted to respond. He wanted to give an answer, both for her and for himself, but he could not.
Because it was important to him? Because he did not like to see others suffer and struggle, or treated as if their lives were insignificant? Could the reason really be that simple? He could have responded with any of those answers, and yet he knew that to say such things would have felt hollow to him. Not because they were not true, but because they did not answer the question completely… And he did not know why…
Seeing the disturbed look within his eyes, Master Quatra stepped forward and lightly placed a hand on the teenager's lowered head to help calm him as she continued to speak in a soft voice. "You are different, Kai Lugo… You have an impulse that most do not… an instinct to act beyond whatever fear or uncertainty lies within you for the sake of others, above even your own sake… And I… we… fear for you because of it…"
Kai's confused eyes came back to meet the teacher's, forcing her hand to fall away in the process. "You fear for me?"
Fear for him… fear of him… the young Master was not entirely sure which was the stronger that the Masters felt…
"You are drawn to conflict, to danger... no matter the risk to yourself... It nearly killed you more than once, Kai. It would have had you continued to live as you did. But what is to stop that from happening again? What is to stop you from throwing yourself into a conflict that you cannot escape...?"
How could the young Guardian answer that? He did not completely understand what this... instinct of his meant. Drawn to conflict? Was that what he was? What did such a thing mean: to be pulled in by the suffering of others?
When he asked himself why he did it, why he had allowed himself to starve, to go days without sleep, to accept the wounds he endured from his failed attempts at stealing, the answer had been simple. They had needed him to do so. And that had been enough. But now...
"I cannot do that..."
His voice spilled forth in the most serious tone that the young teacher had heard him speak in since his arrival on Dantooine. The contrast was as sharp as a blade, with passive sarcasm replaced with strong intent. Within his words, she felt power. Not that of the Force or of anything physical, but a strength that she did not fully understand that seemed to pour from him at this moment with such ease that it left her silent as he spoke. It was like nothing she had ever felt before, and she was powerless against it. "I cannot live a life of second-guessing my actions. For whatever I have suffered or might suffer, I have not once regretted my decisions, so I will not question why I made them. So if I am being controlled by some... impulse to survive and help others... if there is something else behind what makes me what I am...so be it..."
She had no words. How could she respond to such a statement? She had told him the danger such a thing presented to himself, and he accepted it. What else was there for her to say? Perhaps she should tell him... No!
She could not tell him of anything else... His effects on others, that echo of pain and agony that rippled out from him... none of it! What she had revealed was enough for now. To lay any more responsibility on him would have been an act of cruelty on a life that had already seen more than its share of it. Whatever that dark presence was, whatever influence Kai had upon others... right now it was the Order's responsibility, not his... not yet...
"You're a strange one, Kai," Quatra remarked passively while turning about and walking a few feet away, partly because she realized she was having trouble thinking impartially and needed to… distance herself from him. "You are more… passionate than many of the Padawans I train. And while I must advise you to separate yourself from such things, along with whatever your... instinct may drive you to do, it cannot be denied that you are also more in control of yourself than most others your age."
"I guess..." Kai evasively responded, not really having had enough interaction with others his age to draw such a conclusion. Well... except for Atris, though he always had a suspicion that she did not exactly fit the criteria of a normal teenage girl. "So... what exactly is that you want me to do, Master Quatra?"
What was there for him to do? He had done nothing wrong, and nothing that she could ask or demand of him would change the suspicions and concerns of the Council.
Gazing up through the vine-covered ceiling at the bits of nighttime sky that she could see, she answered. "Nothing… I would appreciate it if you avoided taking part in any more dangerous situations while you're here, though I know you may not be able to promise that..."
He did not reply. They both knew the answer he would have given.
Softly chuckling in amusement, Quatra turned back around to look upon her student. "Take care of yourself, Kai. That, more than anything, is what we want from you."
It was not often that Kai found others took an interest in his wellbeing. It was… an unusual sensation for him, one that had he was still learning to appreciate…
"I hope you never live to regret your decisions, little bird," the young Master teased with a warm smile. "And I hope that you never lose something dear to you by doing what you believe is right..."
It was hard for Kai to imagine losing something important to him since he was not convinced he had anything to lose, but he returned the smile nonetheless. "I don't think I'm that reckless..."
"We can only hope... Goodnight, Kai. And may the Force-" For some reason she did not understand, the young Master felt as if saying such a thing was conflictive with the moment, and the needs of this particular student. "... I mean... sweet dreams..."
As strange as it was to hear such a thing from a Jedi Master, Kai found it to his liking. "You too, Master Quatra..."
With a final bow of respect, Kai left the meditation chamber to its owner.
Quatra watched the young Guardian leave, and for the first time now saw Lugo in a different light. She recalled the look within his eyes, the way he walked as with a heavy burden, that she had noticed when he first arrived. Originally, she had dismissed it as nothing more than an illusion, a trick of the eye and mind, born from what she had learned of the teenager from Kavar and his personal record prior to meeting him. It was perhaps her nature as a teacher to look upon students as being naive and headstrong, with few exceptions. And she had attempted to look upon Kai with such a predisposition when he first arrived, as a means for keeping herself objective. After all, how much could a teenage Padawan possibly know about what it means to be a Jedi?
But she saw now that she had been looking upon the boy through the wrong eyes: the eyes of a Jedi. It was not the burden and strength of knowing the Force and being a part of the Order that Kai carried with him. No, it was the struggle of an unimaginable life, the instinct to fight for sheer survival and show compassion to others, the suffering of a thousand wounds to the body and spirit, and the strength born from all of it… Something no instructor or lesson within an Academy could have taught...
Could she have survived what this boy had, she wondered? Could any of her students? She had drawn her lightsaber before in the past, fighting off bandits and raiders and the other miniscule threats that Jedi take very little from. Always in such conflicts where her life was in danger she had been the overwhelming force, defeating such enemies and ending such struggles with relative ease.
It had never been the other way around, with her facing an overwhelming power calling out for her corruption and death. But that was exactly what Kai had faced nearly his entire youth. Could she have fought back the darkness where he had? Could she have shown empathy and compassion when he had?
Such thoughts unnerved the young woman, for she could not answer her own questions. Kai's strength of will… she had seen others with something similar. Revan was the first person to come to mind, but that Padawan's resolve had always been backed by his extraordinary levels of power combined with his often aggravating habit of looking at situations as if from an outward perspective. Kavar was another perhaps, but his strength of will had always seemed to stem more from having a purpose than anything else.
No… what Kai had was a power that stemmed from whom he was, nothing more. And perhaps… that may explain more about Lugo's abilities than anything else they could learn about him.
Realizing the hour was getting rather late, Quatra left her meditation chamber behind her and headed through her study to her bedchamber. The day's worries and concerns had drained more of her strength than usual, and she knew she would need her stamina for tomorrow's meeting.
Yet… as she was closing the door to her bedroom, she found herself entertaining a strange thought… one causing her to pause for a moment.
…If Kai was able to live through situations that a normal person was unable to… did that mean that perhaps… his instinct for survival would allow him to survive situations that a Jedi could not…?
An interesting prospect, but one she doubted would ever be put to the test…
- - -
Kai had not gone very far after having left Quatra's chambers. In fact, he was still standing with his back to the door by the time the Master had retired for the night.
As certain as his words to the teacher had been, the young Guardian found himself silently plagued with doubt.
He had never truly questioned why he did the things that he did; why he drove himself so hard for the sake of others.
Back then he would have died of hunger and exhaustion had he continued living as he did. He remembered the pain, the suffering, the countless sleepless nights ever so clearly. And yet… he could honestly say that in all that time he had never once thought of quitting, of placing himself before the others.
Selfless: did that really describe what he was, or was he simply nothing more than the puppet of a will he had no control over?
He was not proud of what he had did back then. Pride had little place in the life of a thieving street-urchin…
He was not even proud to be helping Mical now, or that the youngling was becoming stronger because of him.
For Kai, such acts… they were just his way…
"As though by instinct…" he muttered to the shadows of the empty hallway.
Was that what drove him? Was that what made him fight a losing battle against time in the depths of Coruscant? What forced him into dangerous situations?
…What kept him alive in all those moments he remembered desiring death…?
How was he supposed to feel about such a thing? The Masters apparently viewed it as unnatural, and possibly dangerous...
...
...
...And he had a suspicion of why...
- - -
He could feel their eyes upon him. Judging him. Ridiculing him. Hating him. Like always...
Yes, his clothes were different. His hair was different. He had been rested, fed, bathed, and cared for in all the ways he could never afford to by himself. And yet he knew that no matter how much he may have changed physically, they would look upon him as they always have: beneath them.
It had been barely over a month since the preteen boy had been taken into the Order. In that time, he had spent most of his waking hours within the care of physicians who apparently were gravely concerned with his health. Through week after week, he received treatments, tests, and was constantly hounded by questions on whether he was eating and drinking enough, and doing the exercises routines given to him, and about how he was feeling all the time...
Uncomfortable: that was how he was feeling...
"Kai... Kai... Kai Lugo?"
It took the young Initiate a moment to realize that the voice was calling out for him.
"Sorry, Master Kavar," the boy weakly responded to the man next to him as they slowly walked down the public path amongst the flowing crowds of people.
"It's alright..." the Jedi Master assured the youth, knowing the boy was still not used to actually having a name. He also saw how tense the child was, burdened with an anxiety that had barely dissipated since having first met him.
This youth nearly always seemed to be on edge, his eyes jumping about frantically upon every face that turned towards them, like a small animal amongst dangerous predators. A learned habit no doubt...
At first, Kavar had not been sure as to why Master Vandar had entrusted him with the mentoring of the young one. He was a Guardian. A warrior. What could he possibly offer to some child who was barely an Initiate?
Within the first few hours of meeting him however, Kavar discovered the answer...
Originally, Kai's behavior had been far worse. He hardly slept or ate, and often had to be given sedatives to help calm him. His mind constantly raced so much that even Master Vandar found he had trouble seeing into his thoughts.
This was an animal that had been taken from the world he knew and thrown into one completely unfamiliar to him, so much so that he even had to wear a visor for the first few weeks until his eyes became used to direct sunlight.
And Kavar, as one who had bathed in war and knew the nature of such primal instincts, and more so knew how to control and overcome them, he perhaps more than any other Master within the Order knew how to help the child.
It had been a slow process however, and Kai was still on edge from being around so many people at once. Fear and uncertainty filled him, so much so that the Masters agreed he was not ready to be amongst the other students. Among other reasons...
To help overcome these powerful instincts, Kavar had decided to take young Lugo on long walks through the streets of Coruscant for the next few weeks. And compared to the first attempts, things were going rather well today...
"How are they?" Kai randomly turned towards the man and asked. "How are the others doing? Are they okay? Are they being fed? Do they need me? Can I-"
"-Calm down, Kai," Kavar interrupted as he placed a soft hand on the boy's shoulder. "We have assurances by the Senate that they are being taken care of. You need not worry for them anymore..."
Taking a cleansing breath, Kai closed his eyes and nodded, finding that thoughts of the children were always at his side. For not long ago, he needed to constantly think about them in order to find the strength needed to go on. It was so strange for him to realize that he did not have to do it anymore.
"Think on your lessons, young Lugo. They are meant to help you." the Jedi Master added, "What is the first part of our code?"
Kai paused for a moment, having to think back through the many lectures he's had to listen to and the many datapads he's had to read since having started his training in order to recall that one particular note of reference.
"... There is no emotion... there is peace..."
Simple words, and right now that was how Kai needed them to be: simple. He needed to learn how to remain calm whilst amongst others, to learn how to let go of all the fears and behaviors that had kept him alive through those dark years. Something that it had taken Master Kavar a long time to achieve...
The child managed to visibly relax a little, though his eyes still darted about him. They both knew it would be a while before he could change that part of his nature.
"How goes your Force training," Kavar inquired in the hopes that a little conversing would allow the boy to loosen up a little more. "Have you made any progress recently?"
"I… was able to make a ball hover for about a minute yesterday…" Kai responded passively, attempting to gain a bit more control over his second-nature habits by focusing his eyes on the road ahead of them rather than the people that surrounded them.
"Really? Well done…" Kavar congratulated with a small smile, which Kai noted indifferently before turning looking back forward. "You should be proud of yourself, Kai. Some of the other Masters had doubt as to whether you would be able to learn the ways of the Jedi because of your age. But considering the short time-span you have been with us, I think you are starting to adapt just fine..."
"I guess..." As much as Kai knew he should have appreciated such words, the anxieties he was fighting against continued to occupy him, making him only able to half-listen to the Jedi Master at best. Being that he still had trouble doing something like openly walking down a public street, whatever desire he had to be part of the Jedi Order was currently overshadowed by his need to be able to function amongst normal society. But it was still comforting to know that he was making progress.
With all the commotion going on about them, the pair of Jedi were barely paying any attention to the noise above as speeders, ships, and other vessels flew by, the hum of their engines playing what seemed to be a never-ending symphony. However they, and everyone else within the area, became very aware of what was going on over their heads as the congregation was suddenly interrupted by a loud explosion amongst them.
All eyes darted upwards as a speeder, now in flames, came crashing down amongst them. The next few moments went by like a flash as the vehicle crashed down on the crowded street, killing several instantly and sending others into screaming panics as they dashed to get out of the thing's way as it bounced upon the ground, coming up on the Jedi Master and young Lugo.
Despite his mind being overwhelmed by the sudden danger of the situation, Kai found his body attempting to flee. Yet before he could even take a single step to avoid being in the path of the oncoming speeder, he found a powerful hand grabbing his shoulder, holding him in place.
"Do not move!" Kavar commanded, at the same time raising his other open palm in the direction of the fast-moving wreck.
Almost immediately, the flaming vehicle began to slow down at an unnatural rate. And in the next three seconds, it ceased to move completely, falling short from the pair of Jedi by only a few short yards.
Standing in utter silence, the young boy's eyes fell upon the wreck, petrified by the site of the vehicle and the scene of carnage it had carved out of the not a moment ago calm street, leaving bodies of dead, severely wounded, and panic-struck individuals like him all about.
"Kai…"
The boy did not respond to the sound of the name, almost completely unable to even hear it over the sounds of the raging flames that covered nearly a hundred yards of debris.
"Kai!" Kavar grabbed at the child's other shoulder, forcing the youth to turn towards and look upon him. "Calm down and listen to me! I need to help these people. Find somewhere safe nearby and stay there until I come for you. Do you understand?"
Currently lacking in voice, the green-eyed youth nodded his consent, sending Kavar dashing off into the crowd without a moment's hesitation until he was beyond the child's sight.
Now standing alone in the middle of the street, the young boy found the rush of people about him, constantly knocking into him, just as unnerving as was the sight of the wrecked speeder crashing towards him, and immediately he sought to escape the commotion, fighting his way through the chaos to get out of the middle of the street over to the side of one of the many towering buildings that surrounded the road.
After being knocked over by the rush of people several times as he attempted to navigate through the chaos, it was a naive sense of relief for the youth as his hands fell upon the hard, cold stone of the wall. Taking a moment to catch his breath before turning about to place his back against the solid foundation, young Lugo found the change in position also gave him a change in perspective of the chaotic scene that he was ever grateful to have escaped.
Smoke filled the sky and crawled atop the road, spewing forth from the massive flames of the crashed speeded and the trail of debris it left, effectively blinding all those caught in its curtain and feeding their panic as they stampeded over each other to escape like a scared herd of nerfs, injuring many and likely killing some.
In the Lower Levels, fear and uncertainty were constant bedmates, and those who did not learn to live with such things were always the quickest to be consumed by them. One had to learn to run and hide and avoid others in order to survive, as the young raven-haired orphan had learned.
Yet these people… they were running each and every way, screaming in fright, smashing into one another with no consideration for how to avoid causing needless injuries as long as they were able to escape the danger in the process. It was doubtful that most of them even knew what had happened.
Danger was a rare thing amongst the common public; Kai realized this not long after his first few journeys upward whilst he lived far beneath the streets he now stood upon. People commonly walked about without weapons, without fear, and without the ability to defend themselves: completely separate from the world he once knew.
Was such a place a better world, he wondered? Looking upon its people now: scared, lost, and helpless, he truly did not have an answer…
Amongst the chaos of the roaring fires, agonized screams and yells, Kai somehow clearly made out the sound of a single high-pitched cry coming from nearby. He looked to his right to find an alleyway cut into the wall he stood against.
"Please let me go! I want my moth-!"
The voice echoing outward, that of a young girl, was abruptly cut short.
- - -
A hand shot out to cover her jaw, slamming her head against the stone wall.
"Shut your mouth, human!" The Zabrak tightened her grip on the child's face to make sure the youngling understood her. "If you desire to keep your jaw, you will keep quiet!"
"Easy, Zatara... She's not worth anything to us dead..." Her partner, a purple skinned Twilek, spoke up with a cold and calm demeanor as he stood nearby with a pair of Rodian thugs standing behind him.
"How can you be sure that she worth anything at all, Felt," the Iridonian shot back, "she's such a scraggly little thing..."
"In my experience, the scragglier, the better. She's likely to be the daughter of some noble family or other, which means they will be willing to pay more for her return."
The Iridonian pulled a wicked looking dagger from her belt and held it to the girl's cheek, causing tears to form in the child's eyes. "It would be better if we simply cut out her tongue now, else she'll be screeching all the way back down to the Lower Levels..."
The child's eyes went wide with disbelief and fear, mortified by what the Iridonian had said.
"Oh, very well..." the Twilek indifferently consented. "Just make sure she doesn't bleed to death..."
"No problem..." Zatara smiled with dark glee in her eyes as she lowered her hand from the child's mouth down to her throat. "Open up, little girl... else I will be forced to cut out those pretty teeth of yours as well..."
The little girl whimpered in fear, tears falling down her face, as she kept her mouth closed, unable to willingly bring herself to suffer something she could not even contemplate.
"Fine, as you wish then…" The female Zabrak pulled her blade away from the child's cheek and slowly brought it over to her mouth.
"What the-!" The Twilek stuttered as a small, robed figure dashed by him and his thugs. Zatara looked over just in time to see the figure about to run into her. The impact knocked her to the ground, causing her to lose her grip on her blade as well as the child.
Paralyzed with fear and barely seeming able to comprehend what was happening anymore, the little girl could not find the will to run away, standing there with her back against the wall, her expression frozen in horror.
Lifting herself back to her feet, Zatara eyed the dark figure who had moved to defend the young girl, placing himself between them and her. "And what the hell are you supposed to be!?"
Kai did no respond beyond glancing in the Iridonian's direction for a moment, being more concerned with the three to his right as the Rodians had drawn their blasters and the Twilek now held a bothan stunner.
"This kid... his robes... I think he might be a Jedi..." Felt remarked, his tone making it evident that he was now taking the matter more seriously, but then smiling after having realized something interesting. "I don't see a lightsaber on him though..."
He did not have any sort of weapon on him in fact, much to the youngling's disdain. He had barely had any training with a lightsaber since joining the Order, and was not expected to get caught in a situation outside the temple where he would need a weapon, especially whilst expected to be accompanied by a Jedi Master.
"Bad move, Jedi pup," Venom dripped from the Zabrak's voice as she approached a little more, having drawn another dagger from her belt. "What should we do with him?"
"A Jedi might be worth more..." Felt remarked, eying the youth as he considered the possibilities. "However... the trouble his Masters could cause is not worth the risk. Let's stick to the plan: kill him and take the girl."
Outnumbered, outpowered, and plagued with the fear of death looming about him: the sensations were as the young boy remembered them. And yet this time he could not react as he normally would. To run and hide now would be a death sentence for the girl... and he would not allow that...
"Let her go..."
The gang of underdwellers paused for a moment, surprised that this boy had anymore voice than the girl he now stood in front of.
"I'll go with you in her place," Kai continued, knowing that perhaps what he was asking would cost him his life, but finding he did not care. "I will provide no resistance for you if you just let her leave... You're not going to find a better deal than that..."
The Iridonian and Twilek eyed each other, and for a moment, Kai thought that perhaps they might actually accept his offer. But as the female Zabrak let out a cruel laugh, he knew otherwise.
There would be no bargaining, no mercy from this bunch. Strange as it was, such a realization seemed to make the sense of fear within him lessen, or rather his sense of self-control seemed to rise, as though he suddenly knew what he must do without hesitance or doubt.
Calmly turning to look behind him for a moment, Kai found the young girl, no more than three years his junior, who turned her tearful eyes back upon him. They were begging him, pleading to him. In them, Kai saw what she desired: to go home, to see her parents again, to be saved from this nightmare...
...
...
What choice did he have...?
"Do not move, understand...?" Kai commanded of the little girl in a soft whisper, who made no indication that she heard him, but remained still nonetheless.
Zatara paused for a moment as the young boy indifferently bent down and picked up the dagger she had dropped, holding it firmly in his hand as if he were prepared to use it.
The Iridonian laughed to herself, finding the scene of a child wielding a weapon amusing in its concept: a prey trying to be a predator. "You think you can use that, kid? Think you have the gull to kill us?"
He looked back upon her, and instead of seeing fear within his eyes as the Zabrak had expected, his expression was empty and cold, as if either not bothered by the predicament he had placed himself in, or not completely aware of it. The only thing she was sure of was that he showed no fear.
An unfamiliar sense of uncertainty stirred within Zatara then, but she quickly brushed it under a mask of aggression. "Fine… We'll do this your way, boy. Nice and slow…"
With that, the Iridonian and Twilek moved in on the youngling, the pair of Ithorians waiting back with their blasters at the ready, doubtful that they would need to get involved…
- - -
"Kai… Kai!" Kavar yelled out as he looked about the area where he had left the young boy.
In the ten or so minutes since the accident had occurred, the street had become nearly deserted, with a few lost stragglers still running about.
The Jedi Master had spent most of his time tending to those he could, with many of the injured well beyond his means to heal. Fortunately, medical teams had finally arrived on the scene by then, and it gave Kavar a moment to check up on the young one.
Only the child was nowhere to be seen...
Kavar was not one to panic, but even he could not deny the anxiety he was feeling. Taking the boy out into even a calm public scene had been hard enough, with the Master having to often use his abilities to keep the child calm. It was his instinct to run, to hide, to avoid others that kept the youngling alive for the better part of his life thus far. And such instincts were not an easy thing to overcome.
Why did he leave him behind, Kavar cursed at himself! He had thought nothing of the child's nature in the chaos of such a violent incident. What had he expected!?
By now, Kai could be well on his way back to Coruscant's depths, to the realm that he knew so well. And if so, Kavar doubted the Order would ever be able to find him again...
He was such a fool, the Jedi Master cursed at himself...
"Nadaa! Nadaa!"
A woman appeared off to Kavar's right, her expression bordering on mass hysteria. Upon noticing him, she hastily approached the Jedi Master, abruptly clutching at his arm. "You're a Jedi, right?! Please! My daughter! I can't find her! Help me find her!"
"Please, calm down," Kavar said as he grabbed a the woman's grip and slowly forced it off him. This was the last thing he needed in what was already a desperate situation... but what else was there to do? "Where did you lose her?"
"I... I..." the woman attempted to search through her frantic thoughts, barely managing to control her panic. "We were walking... then the crash... I... the smoke... something hit me... I couldn't see, but I heard her screaming! Someone took her! Someone took my Nadaa!"
The sound of a non-human scream ripped through the air then, catching the attention of the pair of adults as they looked towards its source.
From the depths of a dark alleyway not far from where they stood, a Rodian appeared, dropping a blaster to the ground. Several tints of blood splattered the alien's garment, yet only one of them was its own; the blood that current spewed forth from the deep laceration wounds in its right arm as it futilely tried to stem the bleeding with its left hand while running in the opposite direction from the two spectating humans.
It was at this point that Kavar had drawn and activated one of his lightsabers, fearing the worse based on what he had just seen and fearing even more that Kai was in the middle of it. He immediately dashed off towards the alleyway.
Yet as he approached, the Jedi Master's hearing was met with the sounds of a young girl whimpering, and Kavar realized that whatever had happened within the alleyway was already over...
Slowly, the Guardian rounded the corner, and from what he saw, he understood why the Rodian had run away. Admittedly the sight made even him hesitant to enter…
Blood painted the gray stone of the walls and floor, filling the air with an iron stench, the pitter-patter of it dripping onto the ground causing little sparks of trepidation within the war veteran Jedi. And amongst the scene of gore, a little girl sat quietly, her arms wrapped about her legs as she rocked back and forth, her eyes wide and empty as she whimpered in shock. The bodies of a Rodian, a Twilek, and a Zabrak, obviously underdwellers by the raggedness of their clothing, laid scattered about the scene, each of them covered with lacerations and stab wounds, their faces filled with shock and disbelief.
Kavar began to approach the child, but stopped once he noticed how the youngling grew more agitated as he came closer
"Nadaa… Nadaa!"
The woman appeared from behind Kavar and dashed out in front of him to her apparent child, quickly checking over the youngling to make sure she wasn't injured before enwrapping the youth in her arms. The girl seemed only half-aware of her mother, leaning into her embrace, though her eyes remained wide and empty as she continued to whimper.
For a moment, Kavar simply looked upon the scene with disbelief and confusion, unable to begin to guess what had happened, yet certain that this child was not responsible for killing these underdwellers.
A slight shift in the shadows farther down the alley caught the Jedi Master's attention. A small figure lay against the side of the wall, its head hanging low as if it were sleeping.
"Kai…" The Jedi Master muttered, despite not being able to see the figure clearly, but knowing it to be the youngling. The shadow-bathed youth made no indication that he heard him however.
It suddenly hit Kavar then, and his eyes became distraught at the realization of who had spawned this horrid scene of pain and gore.
Impossible… how could… he was just a boy! This display of mindless carnage… how could this child be the cause? Such bloodshed… such savagery… Kavar had seen scenes like it before… and he recalled them as the worst of his memories during the many campaigns of battle he had been a part of.
There was no way that…
This was not the time to debate such things, the Master told himself!
"Kai… can you hear me?" Kavar calmly spoke as he slowly started to move in the boy's direction. Still, the youngling made no response…
As Kavar moved deeper into the shadows, his eyes began to adjust to the darkness, and he was finally able to see the boy clearly… and the saw the blood that poured from his wounds…
Fearing the worst, Kavar dashed forward to get to the child. With such injuries, the boy would not live for more than a few minutes.
"Kai! Wake up!" The Jedi Master called out, hoping his words would reach the boy and help keep him conscious.
What it actually accomplished was something that caught the Guardian completely off guard. And fortunately his combative instincts responded just in time to make him to jump back and prevent the bloodied dagger that slashed across his chest from causing a serious injury.
Grabbing at the flesh wound, Kavar was left speechless as Kai now stood before him, blade in hand and ready to attack. To kill...
"Kai... what are you...?"
It was then that the Jedi Guardian was able to see directly into the young boy's eyes, and saw the emptiness within them...
"Kai... it's me! It's Kavar!"
Young Lugo did not respond. He could not respond, the Jedi Master realized.
This child... he was not aware of what he was doing... of where he was or whom it was that he was attacking... and perhaps not even how badly injured he was...
"Kai... Kai Lugo..." Kavar calmly called out to the child, hoping his name would spark some recognition within the boy, as unlikely as it was. "It's Kavar... do you remember me... do you remember the Jedi? Master Kavar, the little green alien that welcomed you among us?"
Kai made no move to indicate that any of the Jedi Guardian's words reached him. He simply stood there, silently without expression, his body covered with burn marks and lacerations which continued to bleed. He was running out of time...
It was his fault... it was all his fault! Kavar damned himself over and over. He knew the child's condition, knew how fragile his mind was, and in one moment of uncertainty, one lapse of judgment, he may have cost the youngling his life...
"I'm so sorry, young one..."
He had no choice now. Kavar charged forward on the offensive.
Raising his dagger to stab downward, the raven-haired youth found a strong grip suddenly holding his arm and the fabric on his chest, overpowering whatever strength his small and ravaged form had left.
Forcing the child's back against the wall, Kavar moved to rip the dagger from his hand, but he found his effort quickly became meaningless. Before he could even reach for it, the blade fell from the child's grasp.
Confused, Kavar looked into the child's eyes once again, just in time to see one small moment of recognition within them...
"Kai...?"
Young Lugo did not respond, could not respond, and his eyes fell closed as his body became limp within the Jedi Master's arms. He had lost too much blood...
"Kai... Kai!" Kavar yelled out, attempting to reach the child, to keep him conscious, to keep him alive. "Wake up! Kai!! Wake up!!"
- - -
Kai's eyes slowly opened as he awoke from the memory, finding his hand grasping at his chest where he still bared a slight discoloration from what had apparently been a wound from a bothan stunner; a wound that surprisingly had taken longer than the others to heal.
He truly remembered very little about that incident: a flash of the face of the Iridonian woman, a moment a pain upon being struck, though he could not remember by which weapon… perhaps all three...
Beyond that, it was all a blank, a moment in time that he could not remember being a part of. Nor could he clearly recall the events afterward, or even the face or name of the girl's mother who came to visit him while he recovered in the medical wing in Coruscant's temple, having spent a couple of days in a kolto tank while receiving blood transfusions.
It was soon after that that Master Kavar began training him in the use of a lightsaber, despite the protests of other Masters who thought the young boy still not ready for the weapon. However these protests were overlooked. Kai imagined it was rather important to the Master that he learn how to defend him self after what happened. He had not understood it at the time, but Kai realized now that the Kavar likely blamed himself for that incident.
Yet if what Quatra had told him was true, then perhaps the fault truly lied with Kai himself. In all honesty, the young Guardian had never though upon the incident as requiring someone to blame. As he saw it, he chose that fight, and only suffered because of his choice.
But perhaps that was only the perspective of someone who was so used to suffering that the reason mattered little to him. Or perhaps it was simply this second nature of his that prevented him from thinking on the reasons behind such things.
Whatever the case, the one point that bothered him the most about the memory, the one point he remembered more clearly then the rest, was the fact that he had attacked and wounded Master Kavar. Unintentionally yes, though he could only hope so since he could not remember the actual moment, but he could not defend such of thing despite this. This more than anything he had gone through during that period of forgotten memory bothered him…
He had never unintentionally hurt anyone before, and felt nothing but self-ridicule and shame for it. And never before had he anything other than himself to blame for it.
But now…
Was what Master Quatra had spoken of the real reason behind such moments in his life where he simply… acted? Was such a thing what saved him all those years, what made him capable of defending himself against that old man, what made him protect that little girl in the alleyway… what made him hurt one of the only people who showed him kindness?
And if it was… what could possibly be done about it? How does one fight an instinct to fight and survive? Such a thing was not like a bad habit, it could not be fought with sheer will, because it was his will, in its most primitive form. So… what was there to be done?
And more perplexing than that was something else he thought of. If he was being compelled by some instinct beyond his control to survive and persevere... well… why would such a thing drive him to help others at the risk of his own life? It didn't make sense…
Smiling sadly, Kai closed his eyes for a moment and shook the thoughts from his head. Such deep thinking and self-analyzing only seemed to irritate him. One thing that often annoyed him about his teachers was how they commonly lectured with strong words, hushed voices, and deep, meaningful pauses, as if everything they taught held such importance and power. It was probably one of the reasons why he was often accused of being so sarcastic.
It was late anyway, and he was tired, and also was not in the best of shape to think on such things, still sore from his match earlier. Whatever this instinct was that Quatra and apparently the other Masters accused him of having, he doubted it would cause him any problems on his way to bed…
He started back down the long hallway to his assigned quarters, anxious to get off his still aching right leg.
"Why couldn't he have been a little gentler?" the raven-haired Padawan muttered as he slightly limped along the way.
- - -
If the young Guardian had looked in the other direction of Master Quatra's chambers, he might have noticed a figure standing in the shadows, watching him silently for clues of what he was thinking and of what had occurred within that room.
As he had been instructed to do so…
Seeing the raven-haired Padawan was now beyond his sight, Reiko Vynn stepped forward into the light of the wall lamp, glaring at the wake of the young Guardian's direction.
After what his Master had told him, the young Apprentice believed without a doubt that this student was a threat, and now saw only underhanded intent within the young Guardian. For he was a danger to the Order, that was now beyond question. And perhaps he was already acting upon whatever insidious intent he had…
The copper-haired Padawan turned his gaze upon the door of Master Quatra's private chambers with disappointment reflected in his eyes. He expected better from a Jedi Master...
For him to be visiting her in the night... he could only imagine what such a thing could insinuate, though he was respective enough to refrain from imagining anything improper. Still... such association between this dangerous Padawan and one of the most important teachers of the Enclave begged many questions... and would likely demand many answers.
"You should be more careful of those you involve yourself with, Master Quatra..." Reiko muttered outloud to no one in particular.
"So should you..." came a response from behind.
Struck with panic by the voice from the dark, young Vynn quickly turned about to find the dark silhouette of someone no taller or older than him standing not three feet away.
"Who-"
The figure raised an open hand in his direction, signaling the invisible energies of the Force to close about Vynn's throat, effectively stealing his ability to speak or make any noise at all. Seemingly with little effort, the hidden individual proceeded to lift the copper-haired teenager off the ground and fling him against the side of the stone wall, all the while Reiko remained unable to scream, allowed just enough space left open in his throat to ensure that he did not suffocate.
"I guess I shouldn't be that surprised that Master Vrook sought to take his own steps in this matter..." Revan muttered passively as he walked out from the shadows up to Reiko. "I honestly hoped that he would be more trusting of this Padawan than he is of me... Kai at least seems more willing to conform to his one-sided views than I am, though I doubt he would be anymore successful with Lugo than he was in trying to teach me anything worth knowing... though I see his Apprentice still favors such singular mindedness. A pity..."
Reiko tried to yell out as he fought against Revan's Force Grip, but found his efforts did nothing to stir the Protege from his control. He was just too strong.
"I admit... I am just as interested in learning what it is that our raven-haired friend spoke of with the lovely, young Master..." Revan conceded as if Reiko had somehow asked it of him. "However... unlike Master Vrook, I am willing to let some uncertainties slide, for the sake of Master Quatra at least. However, even if I were to… convince you to keep your mouth shut about what you saw, I am fairly certain you wouldn't be able to keep what you know to yourself. Your mind is too exposed, Reiko, and it is one of the reasons I imagine Vrook chooses to suffer you..."
Revan lowered his arm a bit, causing Reiko to slide down the wall to where his feet almost touched the ground, bringing him eye level with his captor, who proceeded to step forward and place the palm of his hands on the boy's forehead.
"It is for the best that you forget this, Reiko Vynn. In that, I can assist you... I do request though that you don't try to resist too much, for your own sake. Reworking another's memory is a delicate procedure. Squirm too much, and I cannot be held accountable for what else you may forget..."
Reiko made one last attempt to scream out and fight back, but to no avail. And as he felt the talented Padawan's hand reach into his mind, all the Apprentice knew was an empty blackness, too frightened to attempt to resist.
"Wise choice, Reiko... wise choice..."
- - -
"In short, I take responsibility for what happened to Bandon," Nemo said in conclusion of retelling yesterday's incident before the Jedi Masters. "I had hoped he would prove himself more capable of controlling his emotions in such a heated moment… but clearly he was incapable of such restraint…"
"Clearly…" Vrook reiterated with disappointment evident in his tone, though whether it was meant in terms of the Padawan or directed at the elderly Knight, none but him knew. "We've already reviewed your written report on the incident, Nemo, and are aware that Bandon still has not reawaken from the head-trauma he suffered…"
"Yes, that's correct," Nemo confirmed with an undue sense of shame. "He has suffered no permanent injuries, but the medical team are not sure when he will awaken."
Master Vrook turned his eyes upon Vandar then, who nodded his consent.
"We've decided it best if Bandon is transferred to another facility to complete his training," Vrook stated indifferently, "Somewhere where he will not be so inclined to partake in aggressive acts…"
Somewhere far away from Revan and that other Padawan who had obtained his wrath is what the Master meant, they all knew it but none felt inclined to say.
"I understand," Nemo replied. "I will inform him once he has recuperated."
"No," Vrook interjected. "Waiting for him to awaken may prove… more problematic than is needed. We've already sent for a shuttle capable of transferring him while he remains unconscious. It will be arriving in the morrow."
"I see…" Nemo could not say he strongly approved of such a decision, but he more than understood the need to make it. "I hope he will find what he needs to overcome his aggressive nature then."
"As do we… you are dismissed, Nemo. May the Force be with you."
With that, Nemo gave a bow of respect before taking his leave.
For a moment, the Masters simply sat in silence, each of them feeling a sense of failure concerning the well-being of Bandon and his training as a Jedi.
He listened to the lectures. He completed the tasks of his training. He even meditated more than others, genuinely seeking his place among the Jedi. And yet, when the time came, when situations arose that truly put him to the test, his anger and aggression always won out against him. It seemed no matter how far they attempted to help put the shadows of his home world behind him, he could not forget the lessons it had taught him.
If only they had found him when he was younger…
"We should continue…" Vrook stated on behalf of everyone.
Quatra, who had been the quietest one since the council meeting had begun, knew that now was the time in which she would need to have the most voice. Kai would need her the most out of all the Masters, lest she resign him to a decision undeserved.
"As I'm sure everyone here is aware, yesterday there was... a most unusual form of disturbance within the Force. As far as we know, none beyond this Council were actively aware of it, which suggests possibly its deep-rooted nature." At this point, Vrook was simply laying the situation to bear, without taking a side or stating a personal opinion. Despite his constant pessimism and criticism, perhaps he was not one to jump so quickly to conclusions as Master Quatra had thought he would.
"From what has been brought forth, we believe this... echo to have originated from the Padawan Kai Lugo. Master Quatra," Vrook looked over to the woman as she sat at the far left end of the congregation to his right. "I hope you are able to enlighten us more in this matter..."
"I was attending to a class on the Dantooine Slopes when the incident occurred, Vrook," Quatra calmly responded. "I immediately returned when I felt the echo, and found the Padawan in the midst of... a training exercise with Revan."
It was evident that the mention of the name caught particular attention from all the other Masters, save Vrook who seemed unsurprised by the announcement.
"From what I was able to gather from the other students," Quatra continued, "Kai was originally being goaded by Bandon into a training match. Apparently they had a confrontation earlier concerning an incident involving the Initiate Mical, though it was ended without violence from what gathered. Regardless, as Nemo has confirmed, Revan partook of the match instead, and afterward challenged Kai as well. They were nearing the end of their training exercise when I managed to arrive and stopped them."
"Interesting..." Master Vandar remarked as his eyes drifted off for a moment. "Did you perchance notice anything peculiar from what you saw of their training match."
"I... ended it no sooner then I arrived." Quatra responded as she she to think on the moment a little more, looking for anything particular that she might have overlooked. "It would have been improper to have let them continue as they were; both being quite injured from what I-"
"-Injured?" Master Zhar interrupted with a tone of disbelief. "Kai... actually managed to injure Revan?"
"I... do not know the exact circumstances as to what happened during their match," Quatra calmly responded. "But when I arrived, Revan was bleeding from the mouth and hunched over, grasping at his chest. I imagine he suffered quite a blow for him to need to initiated a Healing Meditation right after I intervened."
"The result of overconfident recklessness, I assure you..."
All the eyes of the Masters immediately turned forward at the sudden presence of an unknown party.
Stepping forth into the council room, Revan calmly approached the congregation, placing himself comfortably center of them. "I apologize for this interruption, Masters."
"You were not summoned, Padawan Revan," Vrook immediately spoke up, attempting to hide his indignation at the student's sudden presence. "Leave here immediately."
"Forgive me, Master Vrook," Revan responded as if not hearing the undertone in the elderly man's voice. "But I was unable to schedule a proper audience with the Council during this meeting. As such, I felt it best simply to bring my... input into this matter directly to you, rather than waiting."
Surprisingly enough, it was Master Quatra who spoke next. "If we believe you have anything to add in matters of concern to us, Padawan, then we shall see that you are given the chance to share your perspective. Until such is decided by us, however, your presence is not required here, Revan. Please leave immediately..."
It was not often that Quatra spoke in such a strong tone amidst the other councilmembers, and it was less often that she said anything that so firmly supported Master Vrook's own sentiments. Yet only Revan and herself knew exactly where such strong sentiment stemmed...
"I would think that me actually being present with the training grounds when the echo first occurred would make my testimony quite relevant... Master Quatra..."
The room fell silent then. Until now, none but the Masters seemed to know of the incident, and they had few suspicions of why. But apparently they were not the only ones who had noticed it...
"Leave now, Padawan," Master Quatra restated with more zest in her command.
"Hold, Quatra," Master Vandar interjected, much to the woman's disdain. "Revan... do you know something of what happened?"
"Little, Master Vandar," the Protégé humbly responded, "The exact nature of whatever that presence was, I am not certain. Pain, suffering: I could hear these things ever so strongly rolling off Kai like a symphony; one so loud that it made it hard to hear anything else for a moment…"
Though they attempted to hide it, Revan's words clearly had an impact on some of the Council members, causing them a slight wave of uncertainty and anxiety that they quickly suppressed.
"We are aware of this, Padawan," Vrook interjected, not wanting to think upon this point anymore than he knew the other Masters did. "What we desire to know is the cause…"
"Well, I can't tell you that of certain, Master Vrook," Revan responded with a helpless expression. "However at the time, I recall Bandon was throwing insults at Lugo after he refused to partake in a little friendly competition."
"Insults…?" Master Quatra echoed, "What kind of insults?"
Revan shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing particular that I would have thought would have had as strong an affect as it did. He ignored the taunts for the most part, though I do remember that it was when Bandon called him something along the lines of 'trash and filth' that Kai finally seemed to hear his words. It caused quite a visible reaction within him, as well as possibly sprouted the less visible one…"
A flash of recognition seemed to come over the Masters then, one that the young Protégé was able to observe. His brow became crooked with intrigue. "From how he seemed to drift off upon hearing it, I wondered if perhaps it was nostalgia that filled him rather than pride and anger… I wouldn't know though, since I am not privy to his personal records… Is there possibly some reason why this would have caused that echo that we felt?"
"Enough, Revan," Quatra spoke up when it seemed none of the other Masters were going to. "I don't know what possible interest you might have in Kai Lugo, but as before, you are overstepping your bounds in matters that don't concern you… as you did when you engaged him in a training match…"
"If you are insinuating that part of the reason I challenged him was because I sought to study him a bit more closely…" Revan responded indifferently, "… then yes, you are correct. It is my inquisitive nature, I'm afraid… Admittedly, my other reason was my interest in seeing the combat expertise of one of Master Kavar's pupils. Quite impressive, from what I saw and felt… I'll have to tell Squint the next time I see him… He'll likely desire some training from him as well…"
"Is there anything else, Revan?" Vrook interjected rather forcefully, to the point where it sound as though he was accusing the Padawan of hiding something. "Did you perhaps notice anything out of the ordinary during you match that should be brought to our attention...?"
He paused then, like he expected the level-headed teenager to break under his interrogative tone.
"You mean the fact that Kai was successful in using the Force Warp technique?"
"What?" Master Zhar spoke up amongst the shocked looks that the boy's remark received from the council. "Impossible... you must be mistaken, Revan. Padawan Lugo's affinity with the Force is... mediocre at best. Such a technique is well beyond his years... or skill-level..."
"I would have thought so too, Master, if I had not experienced the end-result myself... When I asked, he called his successful attempt nothing more than a fluke, which is perfectly reasonable considering he was not able to control it for more than a moment... In fact, I believe it ended up hurting him more than it did me... still, it speaks highly of his endurance for pain... or perhaps more of what he is able to achieve in order to survive..."
"That's enough, Revan!" Quatra commanded with surprising force within her voice. "I don't know what your motives are in watching Kai, and I don't care. Padawan Lugo is under my sovereignty, and therefore is my responsibility."
"Indeed?" The auburn-haired Protégé remarked as though amazed. "Then I suppose I am wasting my breath and your time here, Master Quatra: speaking to you of things you already know… I do apologize…"
At that moment, more than one Master turned their eyes upon the woman with uncertainty.
"You are not to come near him again while he is under my supervision, understand?"
Revan could not say he appreciated being commanded as though he were a disobedient child, but kept such distaste to himself. "As you wish, Master Quatra. I will leave you to your deliberations then, as you know doubt have many things to speak on…"
With that, the young teenager turned center of the council, made a respectful bow, and started for the exit.
This was not how Quatra had intended for this conversation to go, with so much laid out before the other Masters all at once… She could only imagine how such revelations affected their opinions.
"One last thing, Masters…" Revan turned back about just before he disappeared beyond the entryway. "It might possibly be nothing in particular… but Kai seems to have taken an interest in another student: Mical, I think… It is interesting to note that in the little time that he and Kai have known each other, the youngling's combat finesse has grown at an extraordinary rate… Almost seems unnatural to me… but that's just my two credits on the matter… probably nothing…"
As the brown-eyed Padawan moved out of her sight, Quatra suddenly noticed how hard her hands were clenching the armrests of her seat. Why had he added more fuel to a blaze that would soon be beyond her ability to control?
"So... it seems the Padawan's unique abilities are not as dormant as we hoped..." Master Dorak remarked as an unbiased observation.
"If anything... we should take this as a sign that they are getting stronger," Vandar added. "For him to be able to achieve the level of control needed for such advance techniques... it suggests an ability that stems beyond sheer survival..."
"I do not feel that such a thing should be our main focus right now," suggested Master Zhar. "Our concern should lie more in his... influence on others. From what Revan has suggested, it seems the Padawan has already made an attachment..."
"I would think that beyond question now," Vrook imposed, his usual cynical tone having returned to him. "We allowed him to intermingle with the others while knowing the consequences of what would happened. We cannot be surprised that it has. What we must now concern ourselves with is the possible consequences of it, and how we must act in response."
"Consequences...?" Quatra echoed with distaste for how the word seemed to imply ill-nature. "So far, all that we can confirm as a consequence is that Mical has learned to harness his combat abilities. Are we to judge Kai as insidious for helping to teach a fellow student?"
"Did he truly teach the youngling? Or did he perhaps simply... mold him more into his own image?" Vrook countered as though Quatra was overlooking the issue entirely. "If Lugo's ability has befallen the boy, we have no reason to think it will stop with mere combat exercises. It may lead to other more alarming forms of imprinting; ones like that which make a young boy brutally kill three people and injure a Master..."
The thought of Kavar's report on that incident entered the minds of the council members like a dark presence, one that could not be ignored and forcing all of them silent for a moment.
Master Quatra let out a heavy sigh, finding that is was hard for her to move past the image it placed in her mind, and knowing the same was probably true for the other Masters. Kavar had been rather specific about the state he found that alleyway in...
"Do you think perhaps that these abilities of his are not separate, but rather simply different faces to the same whole?" Master Zhar spoke his thoughts out loud. "His connections to others, his instinct to fight and survive... the echo we felt... could they all be related in some way we have not considered?"
The congregation was silent as they each entertained their own thoughts on the possibility. While it did not truly sound so far-fetched, it was mere speculation on something they did not understand in the least. At this point, saying whether Kai's abilities were all unique and separate of each other, or whether they had a commonality they did not see was unimportant.
"As of now, all we do know is that they are all tied to Lugo in some way," Master Vrook answered when no one else responded, then turned a suspicious eye upon the young woman among them. "However, I imagine that perhaps you might be able to enlighten us further, so as we will not need for a mere Padawan to roguishly intervene."
Taking a moment to sort her thoughts and think of the best way to handle the situation Revan had dropped upon her, Quatra slowly found her voice. "I have not been keeping anything from the rest of the Council, Master Vrook, despite what Revan has said. I simply chose to wait to bring these matters to your attention in the hopes of learning more about them beforehand, as to avoid us having to take any unknowledgeable actions…"
The other Masters sensed no deception with her, and truly there was none, despite the fact that she was bending the truth a bit… But as far as they needed to know, yesterday was the first time any of them had felt the echo whilst on Dantooine… and that they were the only ones who felt it…
"Everything that Revan spoke of, I was prepared to reveal. Therefore, for Padawan Kai's sake, I suggest we move past suspicion…" Quatra quite directly eyed Master Vrook right then.
As unsure of Quatra's intentions as he was, the elder Master's practical side saw the wisdom in her words, causing his expression to soften a bit as he nodded in consent. "Very well, Master Quatra. Tell us what it is you've observed."
"Firstly," Quatra readily responded. "I had spoken with many of the students that were present at the training grounds during the entire incident with Bandon, Revan, and Kai. None of them seemed to know anything about the echo we felt."
"What of Mical?" Master Dorak interjected. "If Kai has formed a connection with the youngling, it would be sensible that he might have felt it."
"I… do not believe so…" Quatra answered. "Mical's connection to the Force is still unfocused. He made no indication of noticing anything unusual, so I am inclined to think that he did not experience it. And as none of the other Padawans or Knights have come forward about it, it is probably safe to assume that they did not sense it either, with the exception of Revan… but he is a unique case…"
"Strange…" Master Vandar passively commented. "I remember the echo from when I first spoke with the boy. His mind was racing with the thoughts of the younglings he tended to… and all they would suffer in his absence… It seemed in his nature to care for others; A rare quality in one so young… As for this sensation, it was not nearly at this level of intensity… which means there must be a reason that it is becoming stronger…"
"Time is perhaps the answer to that," Vrook responded. "Despite his rather general affinity with the Force, his training has no doubt helped to focus and strengthen his abilities, and perhaps whatever this thing is as well..."
"I am not so convinced that it is his training that has intensified it," Zhar countered, "Our teachings are meant to show our students the way to clear their minds and allow them to learn control from that clarity. Yet this sensation seemed completely contradictory to such. If anything, should not the Padawan's training have provided a means for weakening it?"
A valid point, and one that none of the Masters were quick to overlook. If this sensation originally stemmed from Kai as they suspected, then his training should have been a means through which it would become weaker...
And yet it wasn't...
It was stronger... Much stronger...
"Then perhaps it does not truly stem from him..." Master Quatra muttered, gaining the attention of the other Council Members. "We've have already seen the evidence that the Padawan ties much of himself into the lives of others..."
It was something that even Master Vrook could not deny...
"What if... this sensation we felt was a result of those connections..."
"What do you mean, Master Quatra," Dorak remarked for his sake as well as that of the other Masters.
"At first, when I heard the echo, I thought it to be a singular entity," the young Master went on to clarify. "And it was... overwhelming to say the least. A roaring current of pain and suffering... it was difficult to feel much else when it fell upon me..."
The other Masters managed to avoid letting their eyes flash with the recognition they all felt. As deep of an impact as the experience had had on them, none among them felt it important enough to currently discuss, or simply they did not desire to dwell on it.
"However," Quatra continued, "I attempted to study it while I could. And as I listened more closely, I realized that it was not singular in nature... It's a chorus. Dozens of voices, rising up in a symphony of agony..."
The young Master stumbled in her voice, closing her eyes and clutching at her temple for a moment, seemingly having difficulty in speaking of her recollection. And none of the other Master could blame her. As the pinnacle of the Order, every one of them had spent the better part of their lives training themselves against such powerful emotions; to disconnect themselves from the influence of pain, anger, and suffering...
It was rather unnerving for even the eldest among them to be exposed to such a strong example of all they tried to detach themselves from...
It also provided an adequate means for Quatra to stretch the truth of when she had first felt the echo...
And as for what the young woman spoke of, Master Vrook was far from convinced. "A culmination of voices screaming out in pain... If that is truly the essence of what we felt, where could such a thing have stemmed from? And why would it be within the boy now?"
"Isn't that obvious, Master Vrook..." Quatra replied, genuinely surprised that she needed to explain it. "He spent his entire childhood fighting a losing battle... Yet no matter how much he suffered because of it, he could not turn away from those who needed his help... Because he could not place their suffering out of his mind..."
It took a moment for the point of her words to sink into the minds of the more skeptical Masters than it did the others.
"That's... not possible..." Vrook muttered with only uncertainty in his voice. "To claim such a thing... what proof do you have?"
What proof did she need, Quatra quietly thought to herself? Was such a thing so hard for him to accept, or did Vrook simply think her so naïve that he needed to question her on every level. "My proof is in the fact that it is the only explanation that I was able to reach, and the only one that anyone here currently has to consider. Unless you have an answer to the matter that you've yet to share, Master Vrook..."
It was perhaps the first time in speaking with the young woman that the elder Master found he had nothing to respond with... And he did not like that...
"That does not seem consistent, Master Quatra," Dorak replied in turn. "We've already made note of the boy's unusual talent for survival. Why would he then endure such a thing that would only bring harm to him?"
"Because… he has no choice, Master Dorak," Quatra calmly replied, managing to hide how disheartening it was for her to say such a thing; to admit that young Kai was fated to his suffering... "And because he has no choice, all he could do was learn how to live with it... Which I believe sparked the abilities we've seen thus far. Without his survival instinct, I have no doubt that he would have been consumed by this presence within him a long time ago... It protected him; gave him the means for taking care of those who needed his help. And…" She looked directly upon Vandar, "perhaps even led him to those who could help him when he needed it the most…"
The little green alien simply looked back upon the woman, his gaze showing him to be deeply contemplating her words.
"Him, him, him…" Vrook muttered almost sounding in ridicule. "Unexplainable abilities… abnormal happenings… and a mass of pain and agony… so much surrounds this one, it is a wonder that he does not become lost in the mist of it all…"
Quatra would have mistaken the elder Jedi's words for sympathy if she did not know he was simply making an observation.
"Master Vandar," the aged man called out to his senior, one of the few individuals he always addressed with respect. "Regardless of the reasons behind this presence, whether they are as Quatra suggests or something else entirely, if what we have felt yesterday was indeed stronger than the instance of it you recall from Coruscant, then we have every reason to believe that it will continue to grow stronger, to the point that it may become a danger to the Knights and even the Padawans if left unchecked…"
He spoke decisively as though already understanding all that was needed to be known about the situation, and ready to deal with it as necessary. His words did ring with enough truth that none were quick to dismiss them.
"Therefore, until we are presented with more options, or hopefully more clarity in the matter, I see only two courses of action to ensure the immediate safety of our students…" Vrook calmly replied.
"And those are…" Quatra lead in, quite sure she was not going to like what he had to say.
"The first: return him to Coruscant," Vrook answered, "As the incident in the training grounds suggests, interaction with others seems to be the catalyst for this anomaly, while his time in isolation has been without disaster…"
His suggestion was reasonable, so much so that it almost overshadowed the fact of how unfair it would be to do such a thing to Kai. Not cruel perhaps, but certainly unfair…
"And your second proposal, Master Vrook," Vandar asked?
The elder Master hesitated, and it caught Quatra's attention in particular. As certain as he sounded a moment ago, for him to be hesitant now was unexpected…
What could he possibly be hesitant to say…?
…
…
Quatra's eyes went wide and she immediately jumped to her feet as the answer came to her. "Absolutely not!"
"Master Quatra, please calm yourself," Master Zhar consoled the woman, surprised as many of them were by her sudden outburst. "Please allow Vrook to speak."
"I will not hear it!" the young Master replied with clear outrage in her voice. "To even think of it in these regards… It is a punishment we would only consider for a fallen Jedi as a last resort! So I will not discuss or even humor the thought of doing such a thing to Lugo!"
The three other Masters then realized what it was that she spoke of, and each of them turned to look upon the fourth, perhaps not as outraged as Quatra visibly was, but certainly surprised.
"Master Vrook," Vandar called out to the elderly man. "Do you truly believe we should consider such a thing?"
"I believe we should consider every possible course of action," Vrook calmly replied, unfettered by the glares he was receiving, even the one that was much darker than the rest. "And in such a dire situation, should we not consider the most extreme possible decisions, no matter how much we may hold such action in disdain?"
Quatra's glare did not relinquish. Always the sensible one… always the unbiased pragmatist… How could either be true of this elder Padawan who could imagine doing such a horrid thing to one of their own students?
"Master Quatra… please sit down…" Master Vandar calmly called out to the woman. The young Master was almost surprised to find herself standing, not thinking herself one who commonly reacted so aggressively in even her most emotional times. Quietly she retook her seat.
"… And know that I agree completely with her in this matter…" the little green alien went on to say bluntly, much to the surprise of everyone else there. "Such an act would be and always has been a punishment, no matter how dire the situation... And despite the implications of what we have experienced, we must never forget that young Kai has no knowledge of any of this, so we have no right to take action as if he need bare responsibility for his situation; a responsibility that we took upon ourselves when we became his guardians and teachers. For us to speak as though we have the right to decide his fate because of our own misgivings would be as unforgivable an act as would be deciding whether the boy, this innocent youth, should be cut off from the Force because of them. Therefore… we will not open the gates for considering such action upon the Padawan. Nor will we take any other action upon him. As of now, this… anomaly is not a threat upon the students and knights, and we will not view it as one until we have proof otherwise…"
The knowledge she withheld from her peers of what happened to her students on the outer slopes of Dantooine flickered for a moment within the mind of young Master Quatra, but fortunately she managed to keep it silent enough for the other Masters not to notice. She was not proud for being the bearer of such secrets, but she gladly did so for young Kai's sake.
As for the other Masters, what else was there to say? There was no hole within Vandar's statements for which they could make a claim. And despite the apparent skepticism among some of them, it was the Head of the Enclave's decision in the end.
"Kai will be returning with Atris once she has completed her studies, as was planned," Vandar finalized the matter, "Until then, we shall only seek to learn from what we see of his abilities. Nothing more… Now… there are other concerns we must discuss here today…"
And so the matter was brought to a close, for now. The calm face Master Quatra had upon her hardly fit the amount of relief she felt. After Revan's blunt remarks, she feared the other Master's would have been too overwhelmed by his statements to see beyond them.
Fortunately, it seemed whatever Revan had intended to happen had not occurred…
- - -
It was a technique that any other Master of the Order would not have looked favorably on for a Padawan to know. To teach a mere student such an ability would have been viewed as reckless in their eyes. And in most cases, they would have been correct.
But Revan was not most cases…
Nor was the Master who taught it to him...
To make his presence so small as to go unnoticed; to cloud his ambience within the Force, so carefully, so completely, as to allow him to stand on the other side of the wall next to the doorway to the Council Chamber and remained unseen by the gathering of Masters as they conversed…
And the young Protégé was pleased by what he had heard…
While he would have preferred leaving the matter of Padawan Lugo's fate within the hands of Master Quatra, he knew that to do so would have undoubtedly led to the end of the enigmatic Padawan's place within the Order…
If they had been allowed to think upon all that had happened with true clarity, then they would have discovered what it was that he managed to hide from them…
If they had thought more upon how Kai managed to perform the Force Warp technique without him being there to reinforce it as a fluke, they perhaps would have realized the truth, as Revan himself came to realize it not soon after it happened, and then there would be no doubt within the Council whether they should have cut the young Guardian off from the Force…
At first, Revan had accepted Kai's answer, as it was the one that he himself truly believed: that it was simply a fluke… An incredibly lucky attempt at something that should have ended in failure…
Revan realized soon after how wrong that conclusion was…
Such a technique required several factors to use: power, control, and above all else, experience…
And when it came to using the Force, Kai Lugo had very little of any of these…
A fluke: an unexpected success at something that could only happen under the best of circumstances.
Under Kai's best circumstances, there was still no way that he could have emulated that ability…
And Revan found himself for sometime without an answer. How could someone of Kai's affinity with the Force use a technique that was so far beyond him…
…
…
And then the Protégé determined the answer. Through considering all the possibilities of the strange abilities Kai Lugo was known to have, Revan came to the only conclusion that made sense; the conclusion the Council would have reached had they been allowed to think upon the matter clearly…
He… had stolen the ability from Revan…
It was almost unfathomable, almost something that any Master would have considered an impossibility. But as Revan thought upon it more, he realized it to be the truth.
By some unknown means that Kai himself was completely unaware of, the young Guardian had managed to steal the Force Warp technique from him: power, control, experience and all…
Master Vandar had once told Revan when he was in his first year of the Order that using techniques within the Force was an art form. And as there were no two people in the galaxy who were completely the same, there were no two people who could manipulate the Force in the exact same way. Ask two painters to draw a canvas of the same sky, and they will still always be different…
Kai Lugo may be the first Force User who broke that philosophy, and the danger that presented was something the Council would not be able to ignore.
At this point, the raven-haired Padawan did not know what it was that he had, nor the implications. He had only managed to emulate Revan's technique, not learn it, but given enough time, the brown-eyed Revan knew that Lugo's ability would eventually bridge that gap, to where he would possibly be able to take the strength of any adversary he faced upon himself.
…Revan was reminded of something his first Master had taught him: That the amount of power a Jedi has is only equal to the amount of responsibility they have as well.
And from the potential he now saw within Kai's abilities, he knew that the Council would not have allowed him to continue down the road that he was on, lest they risk him stealing from their abilities as well, becoming empowered with strength that was not truly his…
…They would have cut him off from the Force to prevent it… and Revan could not allow that to happen…
Fortunately, his interference seemed to have succeeded in making the gathering of Masters overlook the point entirely, and in the end it appeared Kai's place within the Order was still secure for now.
"You owe me again, Lugo…" Revan muttered quietly to himself with a mischievous smile. "I'm more interested in your other abilities right now though. So... Let's see exactly how far they can take you…"