Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm not so sure about this chapter, I kinda struggled a bit with it. I'm trying to set up for the next part. I think I kinda brought it together in the end… but please let me know what you think!

Chapter Thirty-Four

Stormy

The storm raged on outside of the Curtis house. Inside the house the gang – or what was left of it – was hunkered down in the living room, waiting out the storm. Pony and Two-Bit had managed to find a few candles and set them up around the living room, casting a dim, flickering light throughout the darkened room.

Darry remained on the floor with Soda huddled in his arms. Soda flinched at every bolt of lightning and every boom of thunder as he shook, though the tears had dried up long ago. Darry didn't dare try to move, he simply held his brother close to him, the only way he knew to try and comfort him. Two-Bit and Pony stayed close as well and they all spoke quietly to Soda, assuring him that he was safe and that everything was okay, but Soda refused to speak or even really look at any of them. It seemed like no one could fix this, no one could make this okay. All they could do it seemed was sit and endure this storm.

Tulsa, Oaklahoma was certainly no stranger to thunderstorms. It was inevitable that thunderstorm season would come every year. This was definitely one of the stronger storms that they had endured. Darry listened to the trees whipping in the wind and debris being blown around outside. The house groaned against the wind and the windows rattled with several particularly loud cracks of thunder. Darry was a little nervous the old house wouldn't hold out. They had several tall trees in the yard that could fall at any moment.

Finally at long last the storm seemed to be moving away. There was more time between the lightning and the thunder and the thunder seemed to be getting less aggressive.

"It's okay, Soda," Darry said gently, rubbing Soda's back comfortingly. "Hang in there, it's almost over. The storm is passing, it's almost over."

Darry wasn't sure if Soda even heard him. Every muscle in his body was still tense. It was the longest breakdown that Soda had so far, but Darry couldn't help but feel grateful that he at least hadn't become violent. His moods were so difficult to predict though. Would this be his only mood swing when it stormed?

The thunder had dulled down to quiet rumbles in the distance by the time Soda's muscles finally began to relax. Darry looked down at Soda to find that his eyes were open, but still full of fear. He was breathing heavily like he had just run a great distance.

"Soda?" Pony said carefully. He reached out and placed a hand on Soda's back. "Soda, can you hear us?"

Soda's head turned very slowly to look at his younger brother. He looked confused for a moment as if he weren't quite sure what he was looking at.

"Pony?" he said quietly.

"Yeah, I'm right here, Soda," Pony said softly.

He suddenly looked distraught and he turned and buried his face in Darry's shoulder, clearly embarassed.

"I'm sorry," Soda whispered.

"It's okay, Soda," Darry soothed, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

"What happened?" Soda murmured.

"It was just a thunderstorm," Darry reminded him.

"It sounded… it sounded exactly like…"

"What did it sound like?" Darry pressed. He had a pretty good idea, but he figured it would be good if they could get Soda to start opening up about stuff like this.

Darry could feel the shudder that ran through Soda's body under his arms. "Explosions," he whispered. "Incoming grenades." He looked up at Darry, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "It hurt so bad… I thought my whole leg had been blown off."

Darry's stomach dropped. He couldn't imagine the horror of having his little brother come home without a leg and permanently confined to a wheelchair. Things were difficult enough as it was with Soda's small handicap. At least he could still get around pretty independently. And they could still hope that things would get better. Soda may someday walk on his own again. That was something that they could be grateful for. As Darry looked down at Soda he could see that Soda was looking down at his injured leg, lightly running and hand over it as if making sure it was still there.

"It's okay, Soda," Darry said. "It's okay now. And you're okay."

"I'm so sorry Darry," Soda said suddenly, looking up at him with despair in his eyes.

Darry gave a start. "Sorry for what?" he asked.

"I came back so broken," Soda said, looking back down. "It would have been better if I hadn't come back at all. You shouldn't have to take care of me like this when I'm nineteen years old. You're not responsible for me anymore."

"Soda," Darry said, a hint of pain in his voice at the very idea that his brother could even think like that. He reached down and gently lifted Soda's chin so that he would look at him. "Don't ever think like that. Don't you ever think that it would have been better if you had never come back."

"We are so happy you came home," Pony spoke up carefully, inching closer. "It was so awful while you were away. We couldn't stand it if you hadn't come home."

Darry nodded. "We are family, Soda," he said. "None of this changes that. We love you as much now as we did before you left. It would have been devastating if you hadn't come back. And I don't give up my responsibility over you just because you turned eighteen. No I'm not your guardian anymore. But I am your big brother. I will always look out for you, no matter what. I wouldn't trade that for anything, Soda."

Soda nodded, a few tears escaping down his cheeks. He reached out a hand and pulled Pony in closer to them. Darry wrapped his arms around both his brothers. For just a moment their family felt whole.

Suddenly Two-Bit was crouched down next to them as well. "We're all here for you, Soda," he said. "And we wouldn't have it any other way."

Soda looked over at him from where he sat huddled with both of his brothers and gave him a strained smile. "Thank you, Two-Bit." He leaned heavily against Darry and sighed. "I'm so tired," he mumbled.

"C'mon, I'll help you to bed," Darry said.

Soda nodded. Darry shifted around and then slowly pulled Soda to his feet, aided also by Pony who took his older brother's other arm. Soda swayed unsteadily and he gripped onto Darry for stability. Pony and Two-Bit stayed behind as Darry helped Soda limp along, leading him to his bedroom. Soda was silent as he climbed back into bed.

"You call if you need anything," Darry said gently. "Don't go stumblin' around in the dark; someone can bring a candle for you if you wanna get up."

"Okay," Soda said quietly. Darry turned and started heading back out of the room. "Darry?" Soda said.

"Yeah, little buddy?" Darry said as he stopped and turned.

"Thanks," he said simply.

"Of course, Soda," Darry said with a light smile. He turned and headed out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him but not closing it all the way. He walked back down the hallway to find Two-Bit and Pony sitting on the couch in the glow of the candle light. Darry moved over and sat down heavily in the recliner.

"If Steve don't come back, it's gonna destroy him," Two-Bit said quietly. "There will be no bringin' him back from that."

"Yeah well that doesn't mean we're not gonna try," Darry said tiredly.

"But… Steve might come back," Pony said as if it were obvious, looking from Darry to Two-Bit with surprise. "Then everything can go back to normal."

Darry sighed heavily as he looked at his youngest brother. "Yeah, Steve could come back," he agreed. "But that doesn't mean things will ever be the same as it was, Pony."

"You think Steve'll come back different?" Pony asked slowly.

"I think war can be really hard for anyone to deal with," Darry said. "Even more so when it's forced on you and you don't even want to be there. I don't think there's a chance of coming back from that the same person you left as. Just look at Soda."

"Soda's still the same person," Pony said stubbornly. "He's just a little… jumpier than he was. Kinda like Johnny. But he's not a completely different person."

"No, but he's never really gonna be the same, Pony," Darry pointed out reluctantly.

"How can you say that?" Pony demanded angrily.

"Keep your voice down," Darry warned with a weary glance down the hall.

"Look Pony," Two-Bit suddenly spoke up. "Going through somethin' can change you. I mean, do you feel like you are the same person that you were before you ran away to Windrixville?"

Pony paused, looking taken aback for a moment. As a group they rarely spoke about that particular week, Two-Bit less so. "No," he said slowly.

"But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing," Two-Bit said. "Soda's different because of what he went through. And if we try and ignore that then things are gonna just get worse. And it doesn't mean that someday he won't be better."

Pony gave him a skeptical look. "When did you start doin' all this thinkin'?" he said lightly.

"Hey, I think sometimes," Two-Bit said, acting offended.

"I think that Soda can get through this," Darry said. "But if Steve doesn't come back… I just dunno. That would crush him."

"I think Steve can come back," Pony said with conviction. "He's real tough."

Darry nodded and gave him a strained smile. "Yeah, we can hope," he said.

But Darry knew that even if Steve did come back it wouldn't be as easy as Ponyboy wanted it to be. It would be far more manageable than the alternative though. Could they be lucky enough to have both Soda and Steve return from war? Would Steve return in one piece, or would he be injured in battle like Soda had been? Would Steve have as much trouble adjusting to being back as Soda had? All the questions made Darry's head spin. And the worst part was there was no way to know the answers. All they could do was wait and see what fate had in store for them.

"He has been having nightmares every night since Steve got his letter though," Pony admitted reluctantly.

Darry sighed, resting his head in his hand. "How bad?" he asked.

"He tosses and turns pretty violently," Pony said. "Except this one time. I woke up the other night and he was curled into a ball and he was crying even though he was still fast asleep."

Darry frowned. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" he asked.

"He asked me not to," Pony said. "He said it wasn't a big deal."

"Next time he has a nightmare I want you to come get me," Darry said. "And no more keepin' secrets from me."

"He usually just goes back to sleep," Pony said slowly, obviously regretting tattling on his brother.

"Pony," Darry said, a hint of warning in his voice.

"I don't want him to be mad at him," Pony said stubbornly.

"I'll deal with that," Darry assured him. "But we gotta do something about this. We can't just let things go on like this."

"Yeah, okay," Pony said reluctantly.

Darry nodded. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. It had been a very long day and it wasn't even noon yet. It had been hard enough to watch Soda go a year ago not knowing if he would make it home again. It was so much worse watching Soda's best friend leave while Soda was still trying to deal with his scarring experience overseas. It seemed like they could never catch a break.

Please… haven't we been through enough? Darry thought. Please just let Steve come home safely…