Chapter 14: Song Beneath the Song

The next morning, Castiel wakes up to find Dean carrying a small tray in the door. Dean had obviously been trying to be quiet, but he had stubbed his toe against the door frame and let a string of curses leave his mouth. Castiel opens one eye lazily at Dean, and groans, rolling over. His head is splitting and the previous night's events had left him confused, and he found no escape in sleep. As much as he wants to brush off his bad mood, it didn't seem to be particularly easy this morning.

Dean sets the tray on the desk in the room and crawls into the bed, snaking his arms around Castiel's waist, and kissing him gently on the ear, pulling him into an embrace.

"You hands are freezing," Castiel says, trying not to sound too distant. He squirms his body a small bit away from Dean, and rolls over so that they are now facing each other. Dean's easy smile has been replaced by a look of concern.

"Are you pissed about something?"

He had questions about the whole heaven comment that Sam had made, but he figured he would soon discern the true meaning. Just not right now. Castiel takes a deep breathe, and shakes his head. He might be lying a little bit, but his outward annoyance seems to be mostly because he is in a bad mood from lack of sleep, and an intense headache.

"Good," Dean says, as he pulls Castiel closer and plants a gentle kiss on his forehead. Dean slides back out of the bed and motions with his hands for Cas to sit up. He places the tray on Castiel's lap, and grins at Cas.

Castiel surveys the food, suddenly feeling very hungry. He hadn't eaten dinner last night, and Dean had made one of his favorite meals.

"Sam said your blood sugar might be low since you didn't eat last night, so I figured I'd make you some pancakes since you love him," Dean says with a wide grin. He was obviously proud of himself. Castiel can't help but grin as he digs into his food. He covers his pancakes with jelly, which Dean always makes fun of.

"This is very good, Dean. Thank you," Cas says, trying not to smile with his mouth full. As he takes another bite, he raises an eyebrow at Dean, "You even remembered that I hate syrup!", which of course makes Dean laugh and shake his head.

"Who hates syrup?"

Castiel already feels much better, having eaten, and Dean had also remembered to give him some more aspirin for his head. The medications had taken effect rather quickly, quelling any residual pain from the night before. Dean is looking at the cut on Castiel's head now, trying to pull away the gauze without tearing out Castiel's hair.

"This cut is actually really minor, it is already scabbed over, so you don't need a bandaid or anything over it," Dean assures him. Castiel smiles, closing his eyes, as Dean gently rubs his hands through his hair.

"I figured as much. Head injuries tend to blood more profusely due to the many blood vessels on the scalp," Cas replies, his eyes still closed.

"Woah there, Dr. Sexy," Dean replies, biting at Castiel's ear slightly.

"Mmm, that feels nice," Castiel murmurs, leaning backwards against Dean more and keeping his eyes closed. Dean gets the hint, because he continues running both hands through Castiel's hair, moving from the base of his neck, upwards towards his forward. He occasionally leans forward and bites on Cas's ear and leaves a trail of kisses along his neck.

Castiel ventures to ask Dean one of the minor things that had crossed his mind since the night before. He figured he'd start small, and work his way upwards. "Would you consider me your...boyfriend? I don't feel much of a need for labels, but it seems to be important to most humans."

Dean seems to ponder this for a moment, before responding. "I guess so, Cas. If that would be ok with you..." he trails off.

"It would be. The interesting thing is, as angel, I guess I was essentially genderless. Some angels identified more with one gender than another...for me though, I never gave it much thought." Castiel tilts his head upwards, his eyes meeting with Dean's.

"Keep explaining, it's interesting. I guess we just always kind of figured you were a guy angel, who was just kind of a gay angel," he says laughing.

"This body, that was just a vessel before, was a man's. I do feel more comfortable within it though, than I did with the girl, Claire". At this, Castiel laughs a little bit and pinches Dean's knee before saying, "Imagine how lucky you are that I am in this body, and not the body of a child."

Dean scowls in return, "Hey man, that is not funny. That would suck." Castiel laughs and turns to face Dean, cupping his face in his hands. He kisses him quickly on the lips, before pulling back and smiling again.

"I guess we have been lucky about a few things then," Castiel says with a wink, while standing up and stretching.

By the time they head downstairs, Castiel is in a significantly better mood. He'd had coffee as well, so he no longer felt groggy, and it had been hard to remain angry when Dean's mere touch was enough to send his heart pounding.

Sam is sitting at the table, working on what appears to be some research for class. He has several books spread in front of him, and he is biting his lip in concentration.

"Good morning," Castiel says, hoping that Sam isn't still feeling guilty. Sam looks up, and it is obvious that he still feels awful. He opens his mouth, but Castiel holds up a hand to stop him. He already knows what Sam is going to say. "Don't apologize, there's no need. It was an accident."

Sam nods, although he doesn't look entirely convinced. Dean pats Sam on the back, a sign that things are back to normal between them. He grabs his coat, and waves at Sam and Castiel.

"I'm gonna run the errands today so Sam can work on his homework without hiding at the library," he says with a smile before walking out the door. Castiel knows this was Dean's plan all along, to make sure that Sam and Cas had cleared the air between them.

Castiel drums his fingers absently against the table, and looks around the room. He isn't sure what else to say to Sam, so he figures he should just ask about what Sam is working on.

"Is that for your history course?"

"Yup, ancient civilizations. It's pretty interesting though," Sam says.

"I can help you, if you'd like. I was there."

Sam laughs and runs his hands through his hair. "That is so strange, I kind of forget that you've been around forever." He pauses a moment, before nodding and saying "Ya, I'd actually love some help". Castiel figures this is just a peace-offer, since Sam rarely asked for much help, but he accepts it.

They worked quietly at first; Cas looking through books and placing sticky notes on pages that might be of interest to Sam. Every so often, Sam would get up and get more coffee for the two of them. Cas didn't typically drink much coffee, but he figured it wouldn't hurt. Even if he did usually like his coffee to be mostly sugar and creamer.

By the time lunch came around, they had given up on homework, and Sam was showing Castiel funny youtube videos. Sam said it was easier with Cas, because he hadn't seen any of the popular stuff. They had all but cleared the air between them.

When Sam made them lunch, he put away his computer so they could talk. Sam described his courses to Cas, and how it made him realize how much he'd missed school. That if the opportunity came up, he'd love to become a professor.

"Not a lawyer?" Castiel asks, confused.

"Naw, now that I'm older, I think I was really idealistic about it. I don't think I'd enjoy it as much as I liked to pretend I would, you know?"

Cas nods, and he can easily picture Sam in a classroom teaching. "That makes sense".

"So, Dean thinks that I've been hiding out at the library because I was pissed at the two of you. I didn't know how to tell him, but that's not entirely true."

Castiel's interest piques at this, and loses all interest in the salad he had been eating. "Oh, then why were you always leaving?".

Sam laughs and shakes his head, "It's gonna sound stupid. But there's this girl, and she's really cool. So I go there and pretend to be working really hardcore, but honestly I'm just looking for chances to talk to her more."

Castiel smiles, and narrows his eyes at Sam. "So, you weren't upset with us?"

"No, not really. I just wanted to push Dean into talking to me, and he won't ever open up unless he has to. I mean, not to me anyway."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. I'm really happy that Dean finally told you as well," Cas tilts his head to the side a little bit, "and I guess that I'm Dean's boyfriend now, and it is nice that you can know that". Castiel thinks to himself that it is also nice that he knows that now too. He hadn't thought labels were important, but in this case, it felt like a blanket of security wrapped around his doubts.

Sam laughs and shakes his head again, "I never thought I would hear those words, you know, but I'm just glad you are both happy. I've been watching you guys for years, wondering when you'd both figure it out."

Castiel looks at Sam, confused. "Years?"

Sam just grins and pats Cas on the shoulder as he stands up with his plate, "You'll realize that too one day."