Feeling drawn like a magnet, Jimmy followed him up the stairs, tracing his foot steps until he come to stop outside Thomas' door.
Is this really a good idea?
Ignoring the rising panic in his chest, he slowly turned the knob of the handle and pushed the door open. He walked into the room hastily, barely turning to shut the door as leant against it nervously.
The atmosphere became tense as Jimmy quickly noted Thomas' hysteria, his back turned to him, not yet showing whether he had even registered his entry. Jimmy felt his heart freeze upon hearing Thomas' strangled sobs, his back heaving with his unsteady breaths, his entire body wrenching with tears.
Tears of what though?
Jimmy wasn't sure, but he felt his sense of panic increase at the sight of Thomas behaving so out of character, so...stripped. Stripped from the mask covering his true identity, His emotions so raw, so uncovered; his façade pulled away to leave nothing but the real Thomas and he real emotions he was feeling. The real Thomas was sad. Distraught even. But not only that, sad enough for him to let his walls crumble and his emotions cave in around him, letting his dam of feelings break and come flooding through out into the open. Or at least into the open of a seemingly private room.
He wasn't going to lie, at least not to himself at this moment, that he was scared. He'd never seen the under-butler cry and now here he was before him emotionally naked. His disguise had been pulled away, discarded, and all that was left at this moment was sorrow. Everything else stripped away. There was no emotional numbness, no anger, nothing left of the man he loves and his tears of pain.
Jimmy held his breath as Thomas finally moved, still not turning round, shuffling forwards a few steps and bending down to light the fire. If the circumstances were different, Jimmy would have admired the view of Thomas on all fours, his rear pointed up in his direction, as he fumbled with the matches to ignite the fire. Before long the flames began to roar and the fire was in full motion. Thomas stood up. Jimmy felt his entire body freeze with the excessive panic of now being caught witnessing to Thomas in such a personal state, unannounced for an inappropriate amount of time. It seemed too long to suddenly reveal his presence, although, the idea of being caught was equally undesirable.
With bent knees, he moved to a crouching position and chucked the letter in his hands into the flames, watching for a moment as it slowly burnt, the paper withering and disintegrating as the heat spread across the page, destroying all facts it held, as it finally joined the ashes and other burnt remains of previously ruined letters.
Standing up, Thomas looked down at the fire before absently staring into the distance in front of him at nothing in particular. He stood in silence for a moment, with no other noise in the room apart from his unsteady breaths. He continued to cry. Walking over to the window beside the mantle, Thomas gazed through the glass, raising both arms to overlap as he placed them on the ledge, and rested his chin atop of them. He sighed deeply as he looked at the darkening sky and the setting sun.
"What am I going to do?" he asked aloud, finally managing to control his tears. Shaking his head, he took a step back, and brought his palms to cover his eyes, head bowed down towards the ground. Removing his hands, he attempted to wipe the tears with the edge of his sleeve, but ended up sobbing again.
I could pretend to open the door, but I doubt I would be fast enough to make it look like I'd just walked in, and there isn't really an appropriate moment to do so anymore...
But before he could think any further, Thomas made his mind up for him by turning around slowly and slumping himself heavily on the bed. He sat with his head in his hands.
Even in sorrow he's beautiful...
Jimmy thought as he stared nervously at his tear stained face and red swollen eyes. Everything felt like it was in slow motion as Thomas slowly lifted his head to look at him, a mixture of confusion, surprise, anger and embarrassment filling his features as he looked at the sheepish footman still standing with his body pressed against the door.
"What are you doing in here?" He spluttered out at a very ashamed looking Jimmy. Jimmy looked glumly at his feet answering,
"I came to see you-and-and"
I love you.
Even Jimmy knew that he couldn't really justify his actions, but he could see the circumstances weren't completely his fault.
At least I didn't sneak in and have him walk into the room in this state. Anyway, how was I to know he would be crying?
Thomas got up off the bed a treaded towards him dangerously. Jimmy tensed up with trepidation as the under-butler stood before him, so close his heavy breaths were hitting his head. Thomas suddenly shoved his hands up and grabbed jimmy by the shoulders, drawing him closer, holding him firmly as he trembled at his touch. Jimmy winced as he finally glanced up at Thomas properly, wincing at the venomous look covering his face.
"You have quite the habit of being where you shouldn't be-" Thomas growled dragging him closer and leaning his head to the side to whisper in his ear, his voice harsh and cruel, his fierce breaths hitting Jimmy's neck, giving him goosebumbs as he felt Thomas lips lightly brush against his lobe as he spoke into his ear, "-seeing what you shouldn't see"
Thomas jolted him backward, moving away to take in his fearful appearance. The corners of his mouth twitched, bending slightly into a smirk. They stood motionlessly for a second, staring at each other, neither knowing what was to come next. Staring straight into his eyes, jimmy watched as his mask cracked and the defence mechanism broke down. Thomas' face crumpled in pain, his lip quavering as he crinkled up his forehead, letting tears trickle across his face once more. He broke down as he spluttered sorrowful coughs of tears and pain. Gazing up he met jimmy's eye, holding it, with and unreadable look on his face.
Thomas grabbed him roughly by the upper arms as he thrust him against the door violently, hurtling his face forwards him, colliding his lips with jimmy's, as he penetrated his tongue deep into his mouth.
The kiss was fierce and desperate as their tongues smashed together, Thomas' delving deep into his mouth. Jimmy could hardly breathe but it didn't matter because as their bodies crashed together, everything felt wonderful. The pleasure may not have been as pure as it could have been, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered at that moment. The kiss was brutal as Thomas converted all his pain into an intense desire for physical contact.
Jimmy could feel his salty tears as they ran down his face and onto his own, seeping into his mouth and tingling on his taste buds. At that moment Thomas was wild, animal even, as he ran a hand up and down jimmy's back, forcing himself closer as he compressed his body against jimmy's chest. With each run of his hands, he brought it a little further down each time, finally bring his fingers to hook inside the waist to jimmy's trousers. Thomas rammed his face down towards jimmy's neck, licking along the skin of underneath his jaw, before bringing his mouth down to sink his teeth into Jimmy's neck.
He had never been loved like this before, it was so feral, so uncontrolled, all the interactions before had been romantic and caring, but now they were uncultivated, and Thomas was a creature which couldn't be tamed. Jimmy moaned at the sensation of Thomas sucking on his flesh. The feeling was new, unexplored, and his lust was growing stronger by the second. All memory of the previously witnessed events had soon been forgotten as Thomas showed him his capabilities, creating a yearning so deep within, it devoured all sensible thought and control, replacing it with an animalistic craving for contact.
He felt Thomas' warm skin brush against his neck and down onto his shirt, ripping the buttons open and tearing it off his body in one swift motion. He felt his face once more dive into his skin, gliding lower, as he ran his tongue along his collar bone, and travelled down towards his chest. Jimmy put a hand up to stop him, signalling with his now roaming hand that he wished to strip Thomas of his clothes as well. Thomas panted, his warm breath hitting his face as he watched the pathetic attempted to remove him of his clothes. Jimmy tugged sharply at the fabric of the shirt, pulling it down in a far less graceful manner then Thomas.
Both men stared at each other with passion filled curiosity, before jimmy jumped up onto Thomas' body, latching his legs around his waist, hugging their bodies strongly together, as Thomas licked along the side of his cheek.
Swinging their now interlocked figures around, Thomas clutched jimmy by under his arms and hauled him onto the bed by the wall. The bed creaked loudly at the sudden weight being deposited on it, and Jimmy was thankful all the others were working downstairs. Leaping onto the bed, Thomas lunged himself to sit on his knees at jimmy's feet. Lugging his trouser buttons open, he yanked at the fabric of the legs jerking them off his hips, and throwing them hurriedly on the floor. Jimmy's underwear, as well as both of their remaining clothes disappeared equally as fast. Thomas kissed at his inner thigh before crawling on top of him. Letting their two bodies melt into one, they both groaned at the elating feeling below their hips, shuddering as it raced up their bodies, leaving them exhausted as Thomas tendering kissed at jimmy's cheek, and back down onto his ear, whispering softly to him.
"I love you, I really do. I know at the moment sometimes it may seem like I don't, but you can have this for a fact, I am well and truly in love with you Jimmy Kent."
a/n: Thank you for all the feedback on this story, it means a lot to me, so I just want to say thanks for all the reviews, it's really encouraging to know that someone's reading. This kind of took a direction I wasn't entirely expecting at the end, as I was just planning on them having a quick kiss, but it didn't end up that way and it went somewhat further.
So yeah, thanks for everything!