Walking along a grassy knoll, they walked together with clasped hands. They had strayed from their usual path, and were now wayfaring down a surrounding field. The normal green of the grass was now cast in foreboding shadows as the sun sunk into the ground, and the moon raised, taking over the nightly duty, and glowing in the dark sky.

Treading over to a small hill, they slumped down on the pasture, positioning themselves to be at the perfect angle to take full advantage of the star filled galaxies.

They eventually settled on lying down, hands overlapped, as they stared straight ahead, emerging their minds into a world of black and white, where the only colour existing being that of radiated love, glowing through their flesh, and alighting their bodies.

Jimmy knew what he wanted from the evening. He wanted to talk. Properly talk. Have a real heart to heart, and find out as much as he could before being forced to stick his head in the sand, through either his own choice or Thomas' will to not communicate.

Jimmy didn't want to make things uncomfortable, so just settled on staring forward in the sky. Choosing his words careful, he hoped to extract as much information out of Thomas as he could before their warm atmosphere of love and safety changed into cold secrecy and emotional seclusion.

"Thomas, I just want you to know that I love you, and I'm here to fight your corner and help you through whatever problems you may hold"

Gazing nervously at the stars, jimmy awaited his unknown response.

Thomas let out a sigh of exhaustion.

"I love you too, more than anything in the world..." Thomas said, his spare hand messing with the fabric of his coat "-and I know things may be hard sometimes, but you've just got to accept things and get on with them, no matter how much you want to help" Thomas said wearily, face creasing with what looked like guilt.

Jimmy turned his head slightly, daring to sneak a peek at the expression harbouring his features, giving himself a moment to configure the visual evidence before continuing.

Guilt?

But what has he got to feel guilty about. If he was apologising for resent behaviour, then yes, I could understand guilt, but he's not, he's saying...

What is he saying?

Accept what?

He knew there was only so much he could ask, and Thomas was unlikely to hand over the real reason, but he could at least try and delve into the motivations of the secrecy.

Maybe if I try from a different angle?

"I know you don't want to tell, but just tell me this, why don't you want me to know, why don't you want my love and support?"

Thomas gave a small sigh at jimmy's persistence, feeling touched by his care and devolution to his wellbeing. Nevertheless, he went on to continue forbearing the truth.

"I want your love more than anything in my life, more than life itself, but I cannot accept your support, and you're just going to have to trust me and know that I have my reasons for doing so."

Jimmy mind searched through all the different approaches he could use, quickly sorting them through to find the best answer.

"Well..." jimmy said craftily "if you don't want me to help you, can't you at least just tell me what it is?"

Thomas gave another sigh, this time deeper, and began to speak in a pained and conclusive voice.

"if I told you what it is, then I'm afraid that you to would finally understand that there is nothing you can do to fix the problem"

"but-"

"I'm doing my best jimmy, and this is what's for the best. Everything I do is for you"

"I just want to know what your doing, I just want to know what decision it is I am meant to be respecting"

"if I told you there would be no decision to respect. Just let me love you, and time will eventually tell you all you need to know"

"I'm just trying to love you to, and...and, I fear I'm not being loyal to you by letting this slip past-"

Jimmy began, but was cut short as Thomas interjected his opinion.

"-but I want it to slip past. And you have no idea how loyal you are being to me."

Together they sat in silence, looking up at the stars, the only noise being emitted into the atmosphere, being the sounds of the breath circling their lungs, escaping out their mouths and streaming into the midnight sky, in a white cloud of frosty smoke.

"I never understand your motivation for anything. I never understand anyone's motivation. Can't we all just live and get on with things without needing reasons for doing so. Why can't we all just live openly, things would be so much easier" Jimmy mumbled under his breath, feeling suitably annoyed by the dead-ended reply from Thomas.

"It would be easier, but the truth is Jimmy, life isn't easy and life isn't kind, and we just gotta make do with what's in the cards of fate."

"And I s'ppose the cards of fate made you a secretive bastard"

Thomas' face momentarily darkened before shrugging off the comment and giving a calm and sensible retort.

"Our emotional reactions are not always a part of fate Jimmy, we decide them for ourselves."

Jimmy felt a wave of anger flare up inside of him.

"How can you sit there and act like there's nothing wrong. How dare you sit there being all high and mighty acting like your hearts made of stone and your invincible to everything! And anyway, when the fuck did you start getting so bloody philosophical, eh?"

"In times of darkness it doesn't hurt to explore life, take a step back and look at the bigger picture for a second. Maybe you should try, then maybe you'd see that words like that aren't always appropriate! I told you I'm doing my best, and what do you do? Your be rude to me, because you treat everything like it's your property, like you have full ownership to every sodding thing, and every bloody piece of information in the world!"

"Yeah, well, maybe your best isn't good enough. Ever considered that?" jimmy snarled viciously.

Both feeling burned by the words exchanged, Thomas' eyes suddenly filled with tears, his body shaking like the day Jimmy walked in on him crying.

"I don't know why I even bother with you. How can part of you be so lovely, then when I need your nice side more than ever, I get this-this…I can't even describe you anymore! You're selfish Jimmy Kent! I may have been a self serving jerk in the past, but I was never emotionally selfish, I never demanded anything from anyone. Men like us; it's not our place to demand. We have to take what little love we can get and make the most of it, not treat it like it's nothing, like it's in plentiful supply. Well you know what? Maybe my supply of unconditional love is running our. Maybe my heart has just about had the shit kicked out of it so much, it doesn't want to bother with a guy like you who's only gonna hurt me even more?" Thomas spat out through shaking breaths.

"You quite done with your little speech, princess? Done been such an over dramatic, moody bitch? I don't know why your talking about your life like it's been so bloody hard, you're a servant for Christ sake! A working class, poor, lonely servant, who if anything, has had an easy ride compared to others!"

"Oh because you life has been so much more hard!" Thomas protested.

"Maybe it hasn't, but I'm not parading around like the worlds gonna end, like my heart has beaten and battered, like I'm going to die!"

"We all have our scars inside and out, its how we deal with our own, and other peoples which is important. And to answer your first question, the only reason for any action anyone ever does is because they are either acting out of love or fear."

As the atmosphere mellowed, time eventually caught up with Jimmy, leaving him to finally acknowledge all that he'd said, feeling embarrassed by his actions and words. He couldn't even bare to look at Thomas after how he'd behaved towards him, instead choosing to quietly mumble his words, whilst looking at Thomas' fidgety hands:

"I'm sorry Thomas; I didn't mean what I said."

"I'm sorry to Jimmy. But you did mean it though, didn't you? It was what you were thinking and you said it. Sometimes I admire the boldness of your actions, but just remember theres a time and a place for it. C'mon, lets go, I'm freezing"

"It isn't that cold"

Thomas shot Jimmy a quick glare before stumbling to his feet and beginning to walk, suddenly stopping of hold out a bent elbow.

"You comin'?"

"Oh I'm always coming for you Thomas"

Well he said he liked my boldness…

"Behave!" Thomas said with a smirk concealing the smile creeping onto his lips.

"Why should I behave when it's so much more fun to misbehave, especially with you" Jimmy said playfully, giving Thomas elbow a light squeeze, enjoying the look of a genuine happiness on his face.

"Well you do have a good point, I am a lot of fun to misbehave with!"

"Don't flatter yourself" Jimmy said giving Thomas shoulder a playful slap, suddenly stopping them and turning Thomas to look at him.

"We can make it through anything though, can't we Thomas?" Jimmy said with a shy smile.

"Of course we can. Our love is indestructible" Thomas said with a grin, taking jimmy's hand in his own and leading him back to the abbey, wondering carelessly through the disillusioning night, treading across the fields knowing that they were once again alone in the dark together, and that no one could put an end to their love.

A/N: So we're nearing the climax of the story, I believe that there is just this chapter, and then the next until we find out Thomas' big secret. As always review and stuff. Love you :)