A/N: I really cannot thank you guys enough for your feedback. Keep the reviews coming, they are so, so appreciated, as are all the follows/favorites for this story. Thank you, truly. On with chapter 3, hope you enjoy!
Month 3
It's the afternoon when Castle speaks to their child this time. He and Kate went to a doctor's appointment and got back an hour ago. Kate felt tired, and so it did not take long for her to fall into a slumber on the couch they have settled on.
Castle watches her as she breathes steadily, still amazed by the woman he is proud to call his. Still amazed by the thought that they would soon have a child that was theirs.
There was a time where he would have never thought that he would have another child. And he was completely fine with that. Alexis is everything he could have hoped for; a caring, loving, smart human being he is proud to call to call his daughter.
Even when Kate and he got together, he still didn't expect to become a father again. After all, they tiptoed around the subject that was their future together. If you couldn't discuss where your relationship was headed, the baby talk would definitely not be brought up by either of them.
Even when they got engaged, the topic didn't come up all that often. Although they were confronted with it once they took care of baby Benny during a case, and whenever a self-proclaimed time traveler informed them that they would have three kids. It was something that was always brushed off with a brief remark or joke, never to be discussed again at a later point.
Even once it was clear that Kate wasn't totally opposed to the idea of having a few kids of their own.
How far they'd come.
"I'm not sure if I can talk to you undisturbed. Kate wakes up suspiciously often. I thought I told you to be good?"
He gently strokes up and down her legs which she has draped across his. Castle takes his eyes off of her, and instead looks in the direction of the photo placed on the coffee table.
"I saw you today," he murmurs. "I saw you on a screen today, and it confirmed you're really there."
A small sob almost escapes him, and he almost laughs in response. He is getting way too sentimental.
Before they went in for the first ultrasound appointment, Castle kept pacing, practically jumping up and down, while Kate went really quiet. Worry was visible on her face, and all the reassurance and comforting from Rick didn't seem to be able to wipe it off her face.
Not until she had the ultrasound and stared at the screen in wonder. And even Castle shut up for a moment as they watched the grainy black and white image that showed them their child.
The screen had his full attention, until he heard Kate cry.
It was almost silent, but his ears picked up the barely audible sound immediately.
When he kissed her on the forehead and brushed away some of her tears, her gaze finds his.
"That's our child," she whispered.
He nodded. "That's our child," he confirmed.
He noticed how the sonographer politely averted his eyes, probably used to the emotional outbursts. He probably saw them countless times before, and Castle was almost certain that they weren't going to be the last couple in tears in that room today.
When the moment was over, they listened to the expert explain a few things, some of which hardly registered with Castle.
But Kate was attentive, taking every word in, careful not to miss out on important information. Should Castle have any questions later, he was sure he could ask her.
They could take a picture home, and he never wanted to stop staring it.
But they hid it in Kate's purse before they left the office and did not take it out until they made it home. The risk of them being spotted together was already quite high and could cause speculation if they were seen leaving their current location. But if they held the actual picture in their hand, there was no way they could deny anything or claim that they had gone to the office for a completely different reason. And so it stayed in her purse.
"I saw you on a screen today, and you were really blurry," he starts again. "So that means that I couldn't tell whose features you will have just yet. But you have pretty good genes, so I already know you are going to be gorgeous."
He gazes at Kate again as he continues speaking. "I hope you have her eyes though. I get lost in them every time. They change their color all depending on the lighting. It's fascinating to watch," he explains.
When he had told her this years ago, she'd rolled her eyes at him, but he could see the smile that appeared on her face as she had turned and walked away in order to avoid having to respond.
One time, one of the few occasions on which he had seen her drunk, she confessed to him that she loved his eyes too. Followed by "oh, don't gloat," when he smirked.
"I'd still love it if you would have her eyes," he continues his thoughts out loud. "But even if you don't, there are so many other fascinating features and traits you could inherit. Your mom is so much more than just her looks, you know?"
You know what I thought when I first met you? That you were a mystery that I was never gonna solve. Even now, after spending all this time with you, I'm still amazed by the depths of your strength, your heart and your hotness.
He still remembers that day as if it was yesterday.
"So, much more important than her good looks, I hope you have her brains. Except maybe with a little bit of my creativity and imagination… I need someone to support me when I come up with conspiracy theories and alien invasions," he points out.
"And maybe my optimism," he adds. "We could do with a little more of that sometimes. Although I'm rubbing off on her."
That's why I wanna marry you.
"But, let me tell you, despite her occasional mood swings, even the ones not related to pregnancy, we couldn't be happier. I think the last time I felt so happy was when your big sister was on the way. I don't think I've told you a whole lot about Alexis yet."
Rick leans back slightly, careful not to bother Kate in her sleep.
His gaze rests on Kate's stomach for a moment, fascinated by the gentle rising and falling that indicates she is still sleeping peacefully.
Odd, he thinks, that they could have visual evidence that this is all real, really happening, yet her stomach hardly displayed any signs. Her stomach has only gotten slightly bigger, the change so small she could still claim that it was only due to a big lunch. But Kate has started to wear more loose-fitted tops that won't draw attention to the minimal changes in her physique nonetheless.
Castle isn't even sure why they still haven't told anyone.
At first, it was due to Kate's worry that her colleagues would handle her with greater care than necessary, and Castle's wish to enjoy the moment in privacy with his wife, before others – particularly the press, since information like this was always bound to leak eventually, no matter how few people you tell, but also acquaintances – would hear and inevitably question him on her pregnancy every time he interacted with anyone.
Then, it was due to the fact that both wanted to make sure that the baby would be okay, that her pregnancy progressed as it should.
Now – he doesn't know what is keeping them from revealing it now. Everything was great. Perhaps it was just that they made hiding it a habit; her excuses for leaving a room suddenly to go to the bathroom already tumbling from her lips before she can stop herself, his made-up explanations for when she seems particularly emotional an automated reply in the rare instances one of the boys dares to ask about their private lives.
He almost feels guilty, keeping something this big from the people he cares about most.
"Alexis will be so excited to meet you, squirt. She doesn't know yet, but she will soon, I promise. I don't like keeping secrets from her. I always try to be as honest as I can."
Castle considers the few arguments he has had with his daughter. Most of them had happened because one of them had hidden something from the other. The truth always came out somehow, and neither of them ever wanted the fights that followed.
"Being honest can be difficult," he admits. "Sometimes, you think you're justified in keeping secrets, because you are just a concerned parent. And, as a parent, you just want to protect your little girl."
His face darkens as he recalls the worst days of his life. Alexis, his daughter, his little girl, abducted. He couldn't know when or if he would see her again. If she was even still alive. All that blood, all that waiting. It drove him insane.
His usual optimism failed him.
It had been Kate then who became his pillar of strength. She offered all the love, all the support, all the resources she had – and it hadn't been enough. No effort would have ever been great enough to bring his daughter back into his arms.
He may have thought that going on a solo mission was the best way to assure he could find his daughter again. And it hadn't been until after he had her back safely that he realized how much Kate had done.
"You know, your mom loves Alexis too. There are times where she can talk to her better than I ever could. Girl talk, I guess," he scoffs. "And suddenly, dad's not good enough," he says with a frustrated sigh he doesn't mean.
"Will you do that to me?" he questions, eyebrows raised. "I promise that you can talk to me about anything. We'll do it when we have our father and son time - I'm afraid I can't really take you fishing or take you to baseball games, I don't have the skills... but I'll come up with something even better. Or you'll be daddy's little girl like Alexis was before I blinked and saw an adult standing before me. She'll always be my little girl though, and maybe you will too. But if you'd rather go to Kate…" he trails off.
Rick giggles to himself. In reality, he is glad that Alexis and Kate have managed to bond. There were days where he wished that Alexis would come to him with everything – but now, he is just grateful that she has someone she feels comfortable enough to share certain things with, even if that person isn't him.
"Anyway, your big sister. She will love you so much. She has a lot of love in her heart, for a lot of people… and things. One time, she got really upset about an egg she was supposed to babysit." He shakes his head.
"She also let a few boys into her heart. I'm not so sure how I feel about that," he states, wrinkling his nose. "The first two were okay. Never met the most recent one. And then, there was this one guy… I really hope you won't put me through something like that when you're old enough to date," he says, remembering his frustration with Pi, not to mention his frustration with his own daughter when she refused to see the relationship from his point of view.
"I'm biased though," he concedes. "I'm her father. From a father's point of view, no one will ever be good enough for your own child. But I trust her. She will find that person that'll be there for her no matter what."
Rick is unable to stop the smile spreading across his face. "After all, it took me some time, but even I managed to find the right one. And it was so worth it."
He feels Kate move beneath his touch, can tell that she is close to waking up again.
"So worth it," he repeats in a whisper.