The Kindness of Semi-Strangers
By Freddie Stardust
Disclaimer: I own nothing – Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind the Twilight series. I make no money from writing this story.
Chapter Six – Oh Hi
"You look wonderful, Bella. They aren't going to care what you wear."
I paused long enough to roll my eyes at Edward, who was casually sprawled across my bed, before resuming my frantic search of my dresser drawers. Normally I didn't give two shits what people thought of my clothes, but tonight was different. I was meeting the family.
Since my forced shopping expedition with Alice, I was admittedly a bit more fashion-conscious. I wanted to look… I don't know what exactly, but I wanted to make a good first impression on my two new best friends' family. Especially after Carlisle's intriguing question about my birthday…
Prom had come and gone. Alice had, at the last minute, implored me to go. I had refused to go until Edward worked his charm on me and took me as his date. Though Alice had been positively giddy at the opportunity to do my hair and pick my dress, I was adamant about the shoes – it was flats or a no go.
I won.
The school year had just ended, and though I had seen the rest of the family – damn, I was making them sound like the freaking mafia – on a few occasions at school, I had never been formally introduced. Tonight Alice had invited me over for dinner, despite my protestations that I would be the only one eating and it would therefore be silly, and I was going to have to converse with the beautiful people all night.
Shoot me now.
"Of course they're going to care," I retorted, flipping various articles of clothing out of the dresser and over my head. "Alice will have my head if I show up in jeans and a tee shirt. Plus, your family is freaking gorgeous. I can't look like a slob, especially in front of Ca…" I shut my mouth quickly and threw myself into my work, trying to fend off my blush.
"In front of Carlisle?" Edward teased in a singsong voice. I remained silent, but the blush returned in spades.
"Shut it Cullen." I threw more clothes out of the dresser, sighing heavily and putting my hands on my hips in exasperation. "What the hell do I wear?"
"Well, any of these should work."
I turned, hoping Edward had a brilliant idea, and was instead greeted by the sight of him with several pairs of panties and a couple of shirts hooked over his ears and slung over his shoulders.
"Edward!" I exclaimed, trying not to giggle.
"You threw them!" he protested, shaking himself like a dog to get the clothes off. A pair of black panties remained hooked over his ear, and he was too lazy to pluck them off.
That did it. The image of the bloodthirsty, terror-inducing vampire lounging on my bed with his hands behind his head and a pair of panties on his ear was my undoing.
I laughed so hard I could barely breathe.
"I love you Edward," I gasped through the laughter.
He rolled his eyes and grinned at me. "Love you too Bella. Now get ready."
I couldn't stop laughing, so Edward took it upon himself to race through my room at warp speed, managing to pick out a cute outfit and put all of my clothes neatly back in my drawer in about five seconds flat.
He pushed the clothes into my arms and shooed me toward the bathroom.
"Alice will kill me if you're not there on time," he chastised, hands on his hips.
I snorted with laughter, snatching my panties from his ear. "Fine, fine. I'll be out in a minute."
As I shut the bathroom door, I could practically hear him shaking his head at me. I finally examined the clothes in my arms: black skinny jeans, a deep blue tunic, and black suede boots that came to my knee.
"You forgot my…"
A matching blue bra was shoved under the door before I could finish my sentence.
"Thank you!" I called, giggling again. I dearly loved that boy.
"Bella!" Alice squealed as she opened the door, embracing me. She turned to Edward next. "Oh. Hi."
Edward grabbed the little vampire and began tickling her. "Oh hi?" he teased, making her giggle uncontrollably.
"Stop! You'll… you'll ruin my… my makeup!" Alice gasped.
Edward laughed and released her with a slight shove into the front hall, where I saw a breathtakingly beautiful woman who I could only assume was Esme.
"Bella!" she exclaimed, coming forward to give me a tender hug. In spite of my carefully crafted stoic demeanor, I found myself leaning into her arms and getting a bit warm and fuzzy. "It's wonderful to meet you!"
I smiled fondly at her, knowing immediately why the others saw her as their mother. "I've heard so many wonderful things about you, Mrs. Cullen," I said, trying to be as polite as possible for my first formal impression.
"Please, call me Esme," she insisted. "Can I get you a drink?"
"Um, sure, I'll take a ginger ale if you have it," I said awkwardly. Had they really stocked up on food, or as Edward called them, the "humanities," on my account?
"Coming right up," she said with a smile as she headed into the kitchen.
I tried to look around subtly for a certain blond vampire, but Edward caught me red-handed, or rather, red-cheeked.
"Work," he muttered as he walked past me.
My heart fell a bit, and I chastised myself for caring so much. Way to be cool and collected, Bella.
"Bella, I'd like you to meet Jasper, my husband," Alice announced from behind me. I turned to see a tall drink of gorgeous blond water in cowboy boots.
"Nice to meet you," he said in a quiet but friendly voice. Dude's got charisma.
"It's nice to meet you when I'm not playing the damsel in distress," I said awkwardly, not sure if I should shake hands or not.
Jasper grinned and nodded. "I'm more than happy to be your knight in shining armor," he said, "as long as you're not bleeding."
"Jasper hasn't been a vegetarian as long as the rest of us," Esme told me, appearing at my side with a glass of ginger ale.
"Oh, sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?" I said quickly, feeling horrifically self-conscious.
"You're fine, Bella," he said with a laugh. "You'll forgive me, though, if I keep my distance."
I nodded perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. I certainly wasn't uncomfortable around vampires, but I still didn't want to end up as an entrée.
As I sipped at my ginger ale, the front door opened, and for as beautiful as the couple was that walked through it, it may as well have been Brangelina.
"Bella, this is Rosalie," the blond goddess nodded slightly in my direction, "and Emmett."
I saw only a streak of pale limbs and designer clothes before I was being hugged rather tightly by a bear of a man.
"Hey there Bells!" Emmett greeted, lifting me off the floor in his enthusiasm.
"Nice to meet you," I croaked, grateful that Edward had plucked my drink out of my hand before Hurricane Emmett hit me.
"Emmett, human," Rosalie reminded him.
"Oops!" He set me down gently and ruffled my hair affectionately. "You play Guitar Hero?"
I grinned widely. "You bet!"
Ten minutes later, Emmett and I were locked in an epic battle, with the rest of the Cullens cheering us on.
"Go Bella!" Alice squealed, clapping as I nailed a difficult solo.
"Hey!" Emmett whined, turning to glare at Alice without missing a single note. "I'm your brother!"
Alice shrugged. "Someone needs to take you down a notch. Plus, I've already seen the outcome, and I'd hate to be on the loser's side."
Emmett frowned, obviously wondering what she had seen, and his distraction gave me the opportunity to throw a broken string his way. He struggled valiantly, but I won by a hair.
"All right!" Alice whooped and pumped her fist in the air, an adorable contrast to her usually prim manner and tiny stature.
Edward tossed me in the air and laughed as I panicked. He easily caught me and set me on my feet.
"You've won the battle, but not the war," Emmett grumbled good-naturedly.
I patted him on the back, grinning. "If you can't take the heat…"
"Speaking of kitchens, dinner is served!" Esme called from the dining room.
I blanched. I had been dreading this part all night. The part where I, the human, sat and ate while the undead stared me down.
Jasper was watching me from across the room, and I suddenly felt incredibly calm. I raised an eyebrow at him, and he simply shrugged and winked. So that was what Alice had meant when she said he was a walking Percocet.
"Something wrong, Bella?" Esme asked as she ushered me into the dining room.
"I just feel like I'm inconveniencing you by having to eat, since you guys don't eat food," I admitted, my cheeks coloring.
"We could get our sippy cups of blood if it would make you feel better," Emmett piped up with a snicker.
Edward elbowed him in the ribs, but couldn't help smirking.
"It's no problem Bella," Esme insisted, leading me to a seat on one of the sides of the table. Thank goodness she hadn't put me at an end – I felt like enough of a pariah without presuming to take the head of the house's seat.
Ha. A pariah in a houseful of vampires. If I weren't about to vomit from nervousness, it might have been funny in an ironic sort of way.
Edward sat down next to me, with Alice on my other side and Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett across from us. Esme placed a plate in front of me and then sat at one of the ends of the table.
An easy conversation struck up about how I had trounced Emmett at Guitar Hero, and it almost felt like sitting at my family's table at Thanksgiving – everyone was bantering playfully, having a normal dinnertime conversation minus the dinner.
The food was delicious – Esme had made herb-roasted chicken with steamed asparagus and potatoes au gratin. I wasn't used to having such a hearty home-cooked meal that I hadn't made myself.
I had finished my food and was laughing at one of Jasper's stories when the front door opened.
"We're in the dining room Carlisle," Esme called. I'm sure he already knew, what with his vampire supersenses, but I was grateful to Esme for trying so hard to act human for my benefit.
Moments later, Carlisle appeared in the doorway, and I was glad I was done eating. I probably would have choked on whatever I was chewing, because he looked irresistible.
Edward raised an eyebrow at me, and I glared at him with as much menace as I could subtly muster.
Don't say anything you crazy vampire motherfucker. Do and die. Again.
"We were wondering when you would get home," Edward said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Bella especially."
Fuck double fuck clutsterfuck. I'LL KILL YOU.
"I work late on Saturdays so that I can stay home on Sundays," Carlisle explained, either oblivious to Edward's suggestive words or purposely disregarding them.
Esme stood and took my lone dish to the kitchen. That must have been the cue to disperse, because everyone started getting up from the table to mill about the house.
"It was great to finally meet you, Bella," Rosalie said, giving me a quick smile before flouncing upstairs.
"Rematch anytime Bells," Emmett challenged, squeezing me against him.
"Give me a call whenever you need as ass-whooping," I retorted with a grin.
"You wish," Emmett laughed before following Rosalie upstairs.
Jasper and Alice came through the figurative receiving line next.
"It's been a pleasure, but I'm afraid I must go find some dinner of my own," Jasper said, inclining his head toward me.
"And where he goes, I go," Alice said matter-of-factly. "Love you Bella. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?"
"Sunday sale at the outlets, of course," Alice said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Uh, I might have to… um, climb Mount Kilimanjaro tomorrow," I lied blatantly, barely suppressing my grin. Edward wasn't so successful, and he got a flick in the ear from Alice.
"I'll call you," Alice said, giving me a firm look that told me I'd better wear comfortable shoes tomorrow.
The room was thinning out – Edward, Carlisle, and I were in the dining room, and Esme was still in the kitchen.
"Edward? Could you come unscrew this jar for me?" Esme called.
Edward was gone in a flash, leaving Carlisle and I completely alone in the candlelit room.
"Oh come on!" I exclaimed, indignant. "I'm not that dumb!"
Carlisle chuckled as I gave an irritated grunt.
"Scheming vampires," I muttered. "She could probably pick up a semi with one hand, let alone unscrew a jar."
"I can't say I'm too disappointed at the sudden privacy," Carlisle murmured, strolling casually around the room to straighten a vase that was probably older than my family lineage.
How would a sexy, sultry woman respond? Think, Bella, think!!
"I like…privacy…" I managed to say.
Carlisle laughed, and I desperately wished for Scotty to beam me up. I gasped when Carlisle appeared only a few inches in front of me, reminding me of the last time we had been alone in this house.
"I like it when you're flustered," he said softly, caressing my cheek with his cool hand.
I couldn't help it – I moaned. It felt so damn good I could barely stand it.
"Three months, Bella," he whispered against my ear. And then, just as quickly as he had come, he was gone.
Edward sauntered back into the room with a shit-eating grin as I was trying to recover.
"Well, that jar was a stubborn one," he mused, cracking his knuckles for good measure.
"Edward, I swear if you say one word…" I tried to catch my breath, but it was proving to be a difficult feat.
"About what?" he said, feigning innocence. "Whatever are you talking about, my dear Bella?"
I shook my head and prayed that my body wasn't giving off any signs of arousal that these vampires could hear, see, or, God forbid, smell.
"Take me home, Cullen," I said with a laugh.
Edward squeezed my hand affectionately. "All right, squirt. It's nearly curfew."
After thanking Esme for her hospitality and vowing to return soon, Edward drove me home.
A few weeks later, I awoke to the bright July sun streaming in through my window. I stretched and yawned, glad that I had the day off from work. Honestly, I was getting rather sick of Mike Newton's advances. It was even worse now that he was dating Jessica; did he honestly think so little of me? Did I seem like the kind of person who would sleep with a friend's boyfriend? Or sleep with anyone, for that matter?
I can think of someone…
Shivering at the thought, I hopped out of bed and shuffled downstairs for coffee and the paper. Charlie had gone to work already, and the house was eerily, or perhaps comfortingly, silent.
A glance at the calendar hanging on the wall reminded me that time was running out for my v-card. Two months until my birthday…
Carlisle kept dropping hints that he certainly hadn't lost interest on the few occasions I saw him, either with a slight brush against my skin when he walked past or a particularly heated stare, or even a countdown of the days.
Someone else might find it creepy. I, however, found it incredibly, unbelievably sexy.
I inhaled the aroma of the coffee pot and let it overtake my lusty thoughts. I poured a cup, sugared and creamed the hell out of it, and sat down at the table. Charlie had left the paper behind, and a headline on the bottom of the front page caught my eye.
"Four Port Angeles Men Missing for Weeks: Police Baffled at Lack of Evidence."
Four pictures, three of them mug shots, were lined up underneath the headline. I stared at them in disbelief.
The missing men were the assholes that were harassing me in Port Angeles.
I narrowed my eyes. "Fucking vampires."
A/N: Before I even beg for reviews, let me apologize for the delay in updating. My iPhone and MacBook were stolen, and my new chapter went bye-bye. I got my laptop back, thankfully, but my iPhone appears to be gone for good. I've already gotten a replacement, but I've lost a lot of my notes for the story as well as my contacts, appointments, etc. So I offer my deepest, sincerest apologies for the lack of updates.
And now I beg for reviews in the form of not one, but TWO haikus (yes, that was chapter one's form, but I just love haikus):
Did you like this one?
Want naked, sexy Carlisle?
If so, please review!
Carlisle is sizzling
Let's get him really drunk and
Play doctor with him
To those who are favorite-ing and alert-ing me: I LOVE YOU. Seriously. I love you like Phoebe Price loves the paparazzi.
To those who reviewed: LET ME BEAR YOUR CHILDREN. I love you that much. Here are the individual shout-outs to my awesome reviewers:
mikelove, Nevaehell, aerobee82, heartless13, Merina Green, Tetiani, anmarie, Kathy Hiester, StormDragonfly (I like to think that Carlisle's a gentleman – outside the bedroom, of course!), Miss Jessica92, B-RizzleDizzle, xxbabyxox, Kookie-chan, notashamedtobesoilyfan, Sinthya Van Dan, 0, Selene Ruby Rose Snape, kelleygirl (I'm keeping everyone in the dark about Edward – it's fun to see what people are guessing!), silver drip, and Nissa-Cullen (we're going to get through the months as quickly as I possibly can! I want some hot Carlisle lovin'). If my love were a cookie, you all would have thirty dozen fresh, hot chocolate chip cookies.
Next time: What the hell happened to that creepy gang from Port Angeles? Sounds like someone was hungry… FOR JUSTICE. (shakes head) I apologize for being terribly lame. Also up next: That pesky little birthday is fast approaching…