A/N: Wow! Thank you for the favorites and more than 100 follows, I can't really believe you all want to read this story! I try to thank everyone for their review personally, but for the guest reviews I couldn't respond to, here's your personal thank you. You have no idea how much every comment means to me. Without further ado, chapter 4. I hope you enjoy!
Month 4
This time, it is not that he isn't feeling tired. No, but he is bursting with news and thus impatiently waits until Kate has fallen into a deep slumber.
What a day.
Everything still feels like a dream. A wonderful, fantastic dream he never wants to wake up from. But this is reality, he realizes, and if this is reality, he does not need dreams.
Castle slowly leans over, checking for Kate's steady breathing. If she is asleep, he is free to talk. And, oh, does he want to talk. He has been doing nothing but constantly talk all day, but he isn't growing tired of it. He will happily repeat the tale over and over and over again if it is asked of him. Hell, he will even repeat it to people in his life who have already heard.
"We heard you will be our little girl today," he bursts out, foregoing his usual greeting.
"Not all parents want to know in advance, but… it's us. Kate and I, we're always solving mysteries together. And this was one we definitely wanted to figure out."
Part of him liked the idea of not knowing whether they would have a son or daughter; that writer part of him that loved waiting until the last possible moment to make the big reveal for the biggest effect. But the other part, the part that eventually won, knew that he could hardly handle the knowledge that he was going to have another child – with even more suspense building up for another few months, he would probably explode.
Kate simply stated that she hated not knowing things.
And thus, the decision was made.
"We waited for quite some time to find out," he informs his future child. "At first, it was kind of hard to tell. You moved around way too much... You're already a fighter."
The pride is audible in his whisper.
"I'm sure you get that kind of energy from Kate. If I'd be in a dark, warm space, I'd just sleep like a rock all the time and not move at all."
Rick finds it hard to hold back a laugh when he thinks back to all the times Kate has urged him to wake up in the morning.
She is usually awake before him, usually lets him sleep for a little while longer if he has nowhere to be that day. On days where he wants to tag along, however, her alarm often goes off far too early for his liking. Which then results in her gently nudging him awake, earning her an ungrateful grunt.
"I'm telling you, if you're an early riser, she's responsible for taking care of you."
That's a lie, and he is aware of it even as he says the words. He already knows he will get up for his little girl at whatever time he needs to, early morning or late night.
"Personally, I would love it if I could call you something other than 'little one' or 'squirt'," he sighs. "I guess now Kate and I can start arguing about your future name… but so far, your mom hasn't been too keen on any of my suggestions. Fortunately, we still have plenty of time left to decide."
He took a big breath the second they step outside the doctor's office.
"No," she stopped him before he could even explain.
"No what?" he asked innocently.
"I'm not sure yet. But I know that look on your face, and whatever suggestion you're about to make, I'm almost sure I won't like it," she shot him down.
"That's not fair," he sulked. "You can't just dismiss my ideas before I've even voiced them."
She took his hand as they made their way down the street, intending to grab some lunch before heading back to the precinct.
"I'm sorry," she sighed. "What is it?"
Rick beams at her. "Cosmo," he stated.
He was forced to stop in the middle of the sidewalk, because their hands were still laced together, and she suddenly stopped walking.
"Castle, no."
"Come on!"
She looked around them then, checking if anyone could be close enough to hear. She still lowered her voice just in case.
"We are not naming our daughter Cosmo!" she hissed. "That's not even a girl's name."
"I know, I know," he rushed to respond. "We could make it one though. We don't always play by the rules anyway," he tried to reason, already seeing that this was a discussion he would definitely not win.
She picked up her pace again and pulled him with her.
"We are not naming our daughter Cosmo," she stated again, in a way that left no room for argument.
"So what are we naming her?" he asked, mimicking her quiet voice and paying attention to anyone passing them. Too often had a nosy reporter snuck up on him who ultimately published a nice juicy story out of whatever events he may have witnessed Castle be a part of. He'd like to avoid that this time.
She shrugged. "I don't know. But there's still time."
Kate smiled up at him then, and he nodded. Still time. They still had so much time left. Months until giving their daughter a name was necessary, and a lifetime to call her by it.
"I hope you're not impatient, it might take us a while until we figure it out," he confesses.
"I hope you will also listen to me when you're out of there, instead of continually ignoring what I ask of you like you're doing right now. You still give your mom trouble. And Kate Beckett does not like being out of breath or feeling dizzy."
So far, Kate has stubbornly insisted on taking the stairs if she didn't need to go too high up. She wasn't exercising quite as much anymore, and saw this as a simple way of somewhat staying in shape.
But now, she breathes heavily after climbing just one flight of stairs before reluctantly taking the elevator for the rest.
"Kate already has enough on her hands with me. I'm kind of the child of the family. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure how I feel about you taking that away from me," he chuckles.
His eyes catch the sight of one of a strand of Kate's hair that has fallen on his side. He gently twirls it between his fingers while he continues speaking.
"She already loves you though, so I'm sure she'll forgive you. Actually, I'm sure she has already forgiven you.
"Kate Beckett may not seem like the forgiving type, but she has actually let me get away with quite a lot."
He cannot even begin to remember how many times she told him to stay behind when Castle first started shadowing her and did nothing but ignore her continuous requests and warnings. How many times he hadn't shut up when he was supposed to, unable to hide his curiosity when interrogating suspects and questioning relatives.
He sighs. How many times he intentionally got involved in her personal life, despite her warnings to leave it alone.
Eventually, they were successful. They brought the person that orchestrated her mother's murder and whoever was related to it to justice. But his heart still aches thinking of the price they both had to pay to get there.
"She is fiercely protective of those she loves. Fortunately, I am one of them. And so are you."
His heart swells as he remembers all the times that Beckett did everything in her power to help him from the first time they worked a case together. How she rushed to him when he was with Tyson and his mother suspected something was wrong. How she scouted the world for any sign of him when he disappeared on their wedding day. How she left him, because she thought it could save his life.
Castle grimaces. They have both hurt the other so often, trying and failing to do what was best.
They are moving on now. They are still fighting the demons of the past, but they can handle the past with a future so bright and promising.
A future so bright, it caused their faces to light up.
It was only a matter of time until the first person was bound to notice, he thinks as his mind flashes back to the events that took place mere hours ago.
It was early evening when they finished work at the precinct and made their way home. Everything had been uneventful, or maybe everything just failed to measure up to their visit to the doctor.
They were giggling when they entered through the door and stopped dead in their tracks when they saw the company that expected them.
Martha, Alexis, and Jim were all sitting in the living room, and had turned towards the front door upon hearing Kate and Rick return.
"Dad?" Kate exclaimed and hurried to greet her father with a hug. "What are you doing here?"
She sounded so concerned. An unexpected visit from her dad was rare. Actually, it had never happened until today. He would always call first, always made sure she had a few minutes to spare. He wouldn't show up unannounced unless… unless something bad had happened.
"Are you alright? Is everything okay?" she pushed, urgency in her voice.
Her questions are met with stunned looks from everyone but Castle, who had come to a conclusion similar to Kate's. And then Martha laughed.
"Darling, everything is fantastic," she assured her, got up and put a hand on her arm to pull her over to the table. "We agreed to meet for dinner tonight, remember?"
Martha gestured to the table she set up. It was already decked with plates and cutlery. It was only now that they noticed the obvious smell of food coming from the kitchen. Martha rushed over, making sure that nothing would burn.
"Oh," is all Kate managed to get out.
Jim chuckled and Alexis crossed her arms, a knowing smirk visible on her face.
"I'm used to Dad forgetting things like this, but you?" she teased.
Kate responded with a nervous laugh. Instead of trying to justify her memory loss, she walked back to the entrance to shed her coat, hoping everyone would just drop the subject. Her mind had been occupied by other things as of recent, but she wasn't sure how she could explain that to the family. Castle was still standing midway between the door and the couch, apparently just as startled as she felt. They were really being too obvious.
"Guess our minds were elsewhere," she tried, and when no one questioned her further, she relaxed.
Until they sat down and started with dinner.
Martha's cooking had always been… creative, as Castle once described it. But loads of it, no matter how unusual the flavors, was edible, and some of it even tasted surprisingly good.
Under normal circumstances, Kate would have just filled her plate with a little bit of everything. With any luck, some of it would have been enjoyable, while she would refrain from taking a second serving of everything that wasn't. It's a system that worked well in the past.
Under normal circumstances, her stomach would not have turned the second the steaming pots were placed in front of her, and the smell practically attacked her. She fought hard to hold back a gag.
When she couldn't stand it anymore, the turmoil in her stomach getting worse, she was forced to excuse herself and rush to the bathroom.
All eyes in the room looked at Castle, who found himself lost for words. His mouth opened and closed, trying to offer a simple explanation that would make everyone turn their attention back to their meal.
There wasn't one.
Silence hung uncomfortably between them until Kate returned. She wanted to come up with an excuse while she was away, but nothing had sprung to mind. And frankly, she was tired of trying to hide the truth. Why would she want to hide something so wonderful from her family anyway. They ran out of reasons long ago. And now that they knew about their child, their daughter, and her bump became more and more noticeable anyway, she was itching to let the secret out.
She looked at Rick, who nodded and took her hand to offer silent support. She queezed it gratefully, not knowing why she was suddenly so nervous.
"I'm pregnant," she blurted out.
And all of a sudden, the silence was broken. Loud noise erupted from calls of 'congratulations' and 'I'm so happy for you' and 'we figured.'
"Wait, you knew?" Castle asked his daughter.
She tilted her head sideways, shaking her head slightly in disbelief.
"You don't have to be a detective to figure it out," Alexis laughed. "You guys giggling and smiling like you're teenagers again, lots of whispering that stopped the second someone was in the same room…"
"We thought it was just the tension from last year finally disappearing," Martha jumped in. "But if you want to keep a secret, your performance needs to be more convincing, kiddo."
"When all the excitement didn't subside, I figured there was something else to it," Alexis continued. "But I wasn't sure what. And then I noticed that I don't think we've ever had a never-ending supply of pickles. You don't even like them that much, Dad. Neither do you," she stated, focusing on Kate. "Plus, I don't think you have ever worn so many flowy tops... They're pretty," she was quick to assure, "but the amount you own has multiplied."
Castle laughed out loud. "I knew there was a reason you're so good at running my P.I. business," he told her with pride.
Kate had remained quiet, overwhelmed, her gaze searching that of her dad. When it found her, they both noticed the tears welling up in each other's eyes.
They both got up, and Jim rounded the table to take his daughter into his arms.
"Congratulations," he whispered into her hair.
Kate silently sobbed as relief, happiness, and grief all washed over her at once. Jim held her for a while before he spoke again.
"She is happy for you. Katie, she loves you so much. Wherever she is, she is watching you, and she will always be with you."
"I wish she could be here," she managed to get out.
Jim just held her tighter, no words sufficient to express what he wanted to say. But she understood. They both shared a loss, a loss that had had a devastating effect on both of them. And while he couldn't change the past, he'd be here for her now. It wasn't enough to fill the hole her mom had left in her life, the hole that could never be filled, but it was enough.
It took a while, but she eventually stopped crying and beamed up at her dad with tear-stained cheeks.
"You're going to be a great mother," Jim murmured.
"You really will be, Katherine," Martha affirmed with a gentle smile, interrupting the silence that had fallen while the two had their moment of shared mourning.
The rest of the evening was joyful as Rick and Kate gushed about the past few months. Martha pulled out a bottle of champagne and poured everyone but Kate a glass, instead doubling the amount in Castle's ("you always drink for two anyway").
It was a wonderful evening that made him realize how much he had longed to speak about their child.
"I guess that means we will tell the others soon."
"Our little girl," he whispers to himself.
He thinks he's been on some sort of high the entire day, and as the energy slowly leaves him and the alcohol still in his bloodstream takes its effect, he is slowly lulled into sleep, but not before whispering 'I love you.'
To Kate.
And to his youngest daughter.