an: takes place in between 1x22 and 1x23, Eddie's missing. / there's references to the Pixar movie, "Inside Out," in this chapter.
guide: Plain text is Iris. Italics are Flash.
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Part Six
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Today (11:03p)
Another night, another 30 locations that came up empty
(11:05)
Thirty? Seriously, where the fck is he hiding? I don't get it.
(11:06)
Maybe Wells isn't even hiding anymore. Maybe he's just so fast that his particles can't be seen by our eyes ~ He's invisible.
(11:08)
Be serious
(11:08)
You're kidding, right? That's not possible
(11:09)
Anything's possible at this point, Iris
(11:11)
That's the opposite of comforting, jsyk. [[MORE]]
(11:11)
Sorry
(11:13)
It's whatever. I just wish I could tell people about this. Eddie's out there with a time traveling super villain and everyone just thinks he went on a freaking vacation. No one's looking for Wells either, so it's just you and 30 locations a night.
(11:15)
Hey, just me can cover a lot of ground
(11:16)
But you can't be everywhere, Barr. You can't see everything, or we'd already have him.
(11:16)
I hear you, but I don't think he's moving around anywhere. If he was, then we'd see the yellow and know.
(11:17)
Ugh
(11:18)
Ugh is right. But we'll find him, eventually.
(11:19)
I know, it's just… quiet here without Eddie
(11:19)
You could come back to the house.
(11:20)
It's the middle of the night, Barr
(11:20)
I can come get you
(11:21)
Don't come get me. That's not what I want.
(11:21)
You'd rather be alone over there?
(11:22)
If Wells wanted me, he would've taken me a long time ago. I'm not the target here.
(11:22)
You can't be sure. He's done a lot of twisted stuff
(11:23)
Like lying to you?
(11:24)
[Don't] like everything with my mom & mentoring me only to reveal that he's out to kill me
(11:26)
Semantics?
(11:26)
Wait that was petty.
(11:27)
It was, but you've earned it.
(11:28)
I really can't leave, Barry.
(11:28)
What if Eddie gets free and comes home, and I'm not here for him?
(11:29)
He'll know you were with us, keeping you safe
(11:32)
He won't see it like that. You don't know how much you still bug him. He might act like you don't, but if he came back from being kidnapped and found us living together, he would flip. He would see it as some kind of confirmation that you're trying to take me from him
(11:33)
You're not easily taken
(11:33)
He would love to argue with you about that one.
(11:37)
You say you want us to talk, right? Well, ever since you told me about your feelings, Eddie's been… territorial. Sometimes, it goes away, and other times, it's like I look at you for a second too long, or I touch my ring, and he pulls away into this shell. Or like a time capsule in his head where he can go back to before we knew about how you felt. Back to before the idea of you and me was even a possibility
(11:38)
I'm sorry I confused things
(11:43)
It happens. It's just /really/ confusing sometimes. For all of us. We ordered these labels a while back, and I remember being so weirded out about having mailing labels again. Remember we had some? In like… sixth grade? Dad ordered a bunch because we wanted to feel all grown up, but we still got like Looney Tunes labels and we barely ever used them. We sent letters to ourselves because we had no one else to use them on
(11:44)
The mailman would just pick them up and put them back in the box
(11:45)
Exactly, and now I'm like, when am I gonna get the chance to use them? Who would I send stuff to?
(11:46)
Me, Joe probably. Oh, Cisco. He'd geek out over getting actual mail again
(11:48)
I just don't have the same excitement that I thought I would have. Eddie and I… we're great, but him being gone isn't helping the emotional distance we've been having. Not being able to see him and touch him
(11:50)
I'm worried that it's going to change how I see him
(11:51)
I'm starting to wonder if I should know all this
(11:52)
Don't you dare back out now, Barry. You asked for this.
(11:53)
Yeah but
(11:53)
Don't yeah but
(11:53)
Sorry. Uh, if the absence changes how you see him, then it's probably just the natural way you're responding. You're putting up more distance between the two of you to protect yourself from the thought of losing him
(11:55)
So not something else then?
(11:55)
Not unless you want it to be
(11:56)
When I was out, you didn't feel that constant connection, right?
(12:00a)
I mean no but
(12:01)
That's different
(12:01)
You keep saying that!
(12:05)
Because it's different! The situations are totally different. You fell into a coma, and I could still see you and be around you. I could tell you about my first date with Eddie, or how Dad shot me down again when I mentioned joining the force another time. I could read you articles and see that you were still breathing and technically alive.
(12:06)
You tried to join the force again?
(12:08)
I wanted to do something. I felt hopeless, and Dad didn't have a partner. I don't even know what I was thinking outside of wanting to help.
(12:09)
Dad said last thing he needed was to lose me too, so #JittersForLife
(12:10)
For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure you'd be a great detective.
(12:11)
Just not here in Central City
(12:12)
You're on a more elite force #TeamFlash
(12:13)
Team Flash doesn't have dental
(12:14)
We've got a private hospital though
(12:14)
& as if you need it. Your smile's been perfect your whole life
(12:17)
Until some meta comes along and socks me right in the jaw. Screws up my whole face. I'll have to hide.
(12:18)
That meta will have to hide. No one gets to hurt you
(12:19)
What did I say about trying to save me?
(12:20)
You want me to leave you alone completely? I definitely can't do that, Iris. If someone's coming at you with a gun, I'm gonna run to you.
(12:21)
Faster than a speeding bullet, right?
(12:21)
True, but wrong hero slogan
(12:23)
Barry?
(12:23)
Yeah, Iris?
(12:23)
Answer the phone
(12:24)
Incoming Call from Iris West
"You know, you could call my actual phone. Or, I mean…."
"You mean…?"
"Uh, nothing."
"Barr."
"I was gonna say that I could go to you."
"…"
"I could sleep on the couch! And-and then you wouldn't have to be alone, but you wouldn't be replacing Eddie or setting off any of his alarms. You'd be there waiting for him, and I'd just… be there if you need me."
"I don't know if that's a good idea."
"Or, I could stay over until you fall asleep, and then lock up after myself. Oh! We could have a movie night. You won't believe the quality bootlegs that Cisco has found. He puts everything in Dropbox, and you know that this is the perfect time to—"
"Okay."
"…Okay?"
"A movie actually sounds pretty great. And maybe some brownies…"
"We'd have to bake them. I don't have any made."
"Perfect, it'll be a real sleepover then."
"I get to stay?"
"Not so fast, Flash."
"Cute."
"Aren't I always?"
"Right…."
"I can hear you thinking, Barry."
"I know you're worried about losing Eddie, but… trust me, leaving you and doubting you are so far away from his mind. He, uh, really loves you. Nothing Wells could do can change that."
"…"
"I'll be there soon."
"Knock when you— okay, now you're just showing off."
"You gonna let me in or what?"
"Show off and a smart ass. How great."
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Today (4:13p)
Iris
(4:13)
Iris
(4:13)
Iris!
(4:15)
What!?
(4:15)
Take her to the moon for me
(4:16)
STOP SAYING THAT
(4:16)
Too soon. I cried not even twelve hours ago.
(4:17)
But you know Joy totally takes her to the moon eventually. Just, you know, a happiness moon
(4:18)
You're awful
(4:18)
I'm your best friend
(4:19)
Still awful
(4:19)
So you don't wanna go to the moon?
(4:20)
I want you to stop referencing sad Pixar movies
(4:20)
Need I remind you who chose the movie?
(4:21)
I wanted happy!
(4:21)
Pixar makes sad-happy. Bittersweet is what they do. Remember Monsters Inc?
(4:22)
Okay, I'm done. I'm out. Stop texting me
(4:23)
But Iriiiiiis
(4:23)
I'm restless over here. We have no new cases, no leads. All I'm doing are random blood samples that I've already run.
(4:25)
You could check the sewers for Eddie
(4:26)
I did that this morning
(4:27)
Down every drain from here to Starling City
(4:30)
You're exaggerating
(4:31)
Ask Felicity. We had lunch. She wouldn't sit at the same table because I smelled sO BAD
(4:32)
You've taken a shower since then?
(4:32)
Three
(4:33)
You could type up these notes for me. Save me a little time
(4:34)
You're making me your secretary?
(4:35)
More like an intern.
(4:36)
Unpaid internships are the worst kind of labor
(4:36)
One of* the worst kinds of labor. I'm aware there's worse, but really, if I'm doing the work, I should be paid
(4:38)
I'll pay you in coffee
(4:39)
How about dinner?
(4:41)
Barry…
(4:42)
Okay, when did we reach this point where I can't just suggest things? It's a friendly dinner, a compensation for friendly favors
(4:43)
Or quid-pro-quo sexual harassment, if we're still on that intern thing
(4:44)
Now who's the worst?
(4:47)
Type these notes, and /maybe/ we can do dinner. I've got a pasta recipe I really want to try, and you're kind of a human garbage disposal
(4:48)
Okay, be there soon
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(7:19p)
You left your jacket here
(7:20)
Don't really need it. Not outside much
(7:22)
Okay
(7:24)
Why do I get the feeling you have more to say than that?
(7:25)
Because I spent all of dinner staring at my plate?
(7:27)
And they weren't even the good plates. What's up, Iris?
(7:30)
I don't know, it's hard sometimes to really picture the fact that there's so much I don't know about your life now. All these stories I wasn't a part of, all kinds of danger I never even knew you were in.
(7:32)
What do you want to know?
(7:33)
Everything?
(7:33)
Ha, I'm gonna need a starting point
(7:35)
Okay, what's the worst thing you did with your powers?
(7:36)
Uh, probably go back in time
(7:36)
You can do that?
(7:37)
Once. Probably could do it again, but it's a pretty bad idea. I mean, it was worth it, but it definitely caused some changes I wasn't expecting.
(7:38)
Like what?
(7:38)
Uhh… okay, remember when I mentioned bowling?
(7:39)
Yeah, you were so weird
(7:42)
Before I went back in time, I went on a date with Linda, and we ended up in this weird double date with you and Eddie. You got oddly… territorial when we were there, like you went into autopilot and only cared about me and our connection rather than anything else. You spoke mostly to me, and you were definitely staking your claim. I have no idea what happened directly after, but it had to have made something click because later you…
(7:44)
I…?
(7:45)
I feel like I'm not supposed to be saying any of this, yet here I am texting it to you
(7:46)
You already started this story, Barry. You can't just take it back
(7:47)
I'm just recognizing that it probably wasn't a good idea.
(7:48)
Wells told me that I shouldn't tell people what happened in other timelines, and you're already so unsure about you and Eddie and you and me
(7:50)
Tell me what happened
(7:52)
The whole city was about to be destroyed, and Mardon had Joe, and between the bowling and the intense moment at CCPD and —I don't know—the world ending, you said that the reason you couldn't stop thinking about me was because you didn't want to.
(7:58)
Whoa
(8:02)
I only remember it because I was the one to change the timeline, but when I got here, you'd totally forgotten about it and about that moment when it clicked for you. I don't hold you to it. I don't expect anything necessarily but, I think that's one of the worst thing that I've done. I took that moment away from us.
(8:08)
But what about Eddie?
(8:09)
Uh I'm pretty sure he was looking for Mardon at the time. You and me went off together because Mardon called you specifically so that you could be there to see Joe die
(8:11)
I meant, if I said that, what about Eddie? What was I thinking when it came to him and everything that would change?
(8:12)
We didn't do much talking after you said that
(8:13)
Oh my god
(8:13)
Not like that!
(8:14)
Kind of like that, but not
(8:14)
Joe was in danger. We kissed. But then I went back in time and now technically it never happened
(8:15)
OH MY GOD
(8:16)
See this is why I wasn't supposed to tell you
(8:17)
Because I'd freak out?
(8:18)
Because you're freaking out, yeah. Uh, did you have any other questions?
(8:19)
Not anymore. Not about anything else
(8:21)
Really? No other questions?
(8:24)
What was it like?
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(9:30)
I've been drafting this message for an hour now, Iris. Typing and retyping and it's so hard to explain to you what that moment felt like. Like every dream and hope that I'd had was finally going to come true, like if I could just run fast enough to stop Mardon then we could go back into that moment and be there forever, like…giving over to an instinct that's been dismissed for too long.
You couldn't stop thinking about me, and I haven't stopped thinking about you since we were twelve. I mean, I cupped your face like I've done hundreds of times, but instead of holding you and telling you that we'd figure it out (like I did when Mardon took Joe) or when Joe first said you couldn't join the force and you broke down after not talking him for days, remember?
But this was…. I keep trying to describe it, but it's not easy because this wasn't just some moment or some kiss. It was our moment, our first moment
(9:35)
And I don't remember any of it
(9:36)
I wish I could give that back to you
(9:38)
Well you can't. You can't give back any of the times we could've had or would've had if you didn't insist on keeping things to yourself. You can't go back, and I feel like maybe we shouldn't try to
(9:39)
What does that even mean?
(9:41)
We're in a weird place right now, and I can't tell if spending so much time together is helping or hurting things
(9:43)
Please don't cut me out again, Iris. We're getting better.
(9:45)
Better at what?
(9:46)
I don't know
(9:47)
Neither do I.
(9:48)
I'm gonna go to bed early tonight. I'll talk to you later.
(9:49)
I shouldn't have told you, should I?
(9:51)
I'm happy you did
(9:52)
Are you really?
(9:54)
I have to be. Night, Barry
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(11:01p)
If you can go back in time, why not go back and save Eddie?
(11:08)
I don't really know how I did it the first time, or what might happen. Time travel's kind of complicated
(11:10)
More complicated than the rest of this?
(11:12)
Even if I tried, there's no guarantee it'd work or that I'd even be able to stop Wells from grabbing him.
(11:14)
You'd be a step ahead. You could lock Wells up, and tell me the truth, and we'll figure everything else out from there.
(11:15)
Iris, I can't.
(11:16)
Wells warned me against messing with the timeline.
(11:19)
Wells also killed your mom and kidnapped my boyfriend, but sure, listen to him now.
(11:21)
I will.
(11:22)
Fine then.
(11:23)
Great.
(11:27)
But you could start all over, Barry. You could try the trap you tried with Cisco but even better this time since you know exactly what Wells did to get away. You can tell me about being the flash rather than letting me find out. You only have to go back /one week/
(11:30)
And if something goes wrong? Iris, I can't keep creating alternate timelines.
(11:32)
Even if they're better for everyone?
(11:33)
There is no "better for everyone." I saved Joe and Cisco, but then Cisco got kidnapped and Snart got an even better cold gun and a matching one for his sister. I already have to go back in time at least one more time, to be there to save myself when Wells tries to kill my mom. I can't risk doing any more damage.
(11:35)
Whatever you say, Flash
(11:36)
24 hours ago, we were fine
(11:40)
Twenty four hours ago, I didn't know you had the power to reverse all of this. But it's fine, keep searching thirty spots a day and I'll keep waiting in hopes that the other Flash slips up or comes out of hiding long enough to be found. Who knows? Maybe he'll get enough speed to go back in time on his own.
(11:41)
I wonder what he'll change, what other lives he'll ruin
(11:42)
That's not fair
(11:43)
Tell me one thing that's been fair about any of this
(11:43)
No, seriously, tell me
(11:44)
What's fair here, Barry?
(11:44)
What's the right thing to do?
(11:45)
Not this.
(11:47)
Hey, okay, you're the hero
(11:48)
I am, and I'm the one who has to live with whatever happens because of that
(11:48)
We might be a team, but ultimately I'm the one in the suit. I'm the Flash.
(11:50)
But we are a team, aren't we? Why not make it a vote?
(11:52)
Because it doesn't have to be. This is up to me, not anyone else. I will keep looking everywhere I can and I will find Eddie, but I'm not messing with time just so you can run away from your feelings a little longer
(11:53)
Don't even try to say that's not what this is about because all you want is for me to give you an out. You want to avoid this, but you can't.
(11:54)
No matter the timeline, no matter whether or not you have a boyfriend or know if I'm the Flash, you feel the same way about me as I do about you. And saving Eddie won't change that. Going back in time won't change that. And you letting out all your anger, or shutting me down, or ignoring me and giving these awful clipped leading answers to everything will NOT CHANGE THAT.
(11:55)
It won't make it any easier either. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.
(11:55)
Now good night, Iris.
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