This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

Chapter 5: The Birthday Party Part 1

September had passed and Harry and I had gotten into a routine, unbeknownst to the both of us, until Ginny so helpfully pointed it out to me.

After a couple of days I took Harry up on his offer to join Ron and him on their morning runs. At first Ron didn't particularly like it. I think he felt it cut into he and Harry's guy time. This was more than likely the only time Granger wasn't with them. But after the third time, he seemed to come around and accepted my company.

After the run we would come back and fight over who would shower first (I would usually win) and then we would get dressed and go eat. where we ate with our houses. Occasionally Ginny would eat with Draco, Blaise, and I (much to Draco's enjoyment the most), and then we would all go to our classes.

Our head dorm would become rather full sometimes, as Ron and Granger would study with Harry, and Blaise, Draco, and sometimes Millicent and Daphne would study with me. Thankfully there wasn't too much animosity amongst the group, as both Harry and myself had told our respectable friends not to cause trouble in our home.

Our home. Harry had actually said that. It made me feel all tingly inside when he came up with it.

Ginny would hang in there a lot with Draco when Harry wasn't around. He was also good at the piano, so he would sometimes play songs for her. It was nauseatingly cute to watch sometimes. Other times, I couldn't help but feel kind of down about it.

I hadn't openly played for Harry yet. As much as I really wanted to, I felt like maybe he wouldn't appreciate it. Sure he would like it, but I would want for him to look at me the way Ginny would look at Draco when he played. She would stare at him and get this look on her face as if she were in a delightful daydream. She would sometimes play with the hair on the back of his head as he played or lay her head on his shoulder.

She still hadn't given him an answer about the Yule Ball, which had been announced after a couple of weeks.

Once the dance was announced, I saw more of that stupid Hufflepuff man stealing whore (he wasn't my man, but still) Susan Bones around Harry. There were times that I saw myself ripping every brown strand of hair out of her pathetic little head. There were times where I wanted to hex her breasts off her body. I just wanted her to go away. She was really cutting into the time that I was too much of a coward to spend with Harry.

Thankfully she hadn't invaded the area that was ours. I swore if I ever saw her in my common room, I would feed her to a dragon.

I had learned a lot about Harry. For one, thing he was very open. He did have a couple of things that he seemed closed off about like his parents (naturally) and the treatment he endured before Hogwarts (I only knew that he was raised by horrible muggles, he never went into detail). But other than that, he was pretty much an open book. My favorite book to read actually.

Harry loved anything and everything Quidditch. I had secretly cheered for him over the years, even during Slytherin games. He flew as if he himself had wings. It was breathtaking watching him zoom around the pitch and in the sky trying to catch the snitch. He rarely missed.

I found out one morning that he was actually a great singer. I overheard him singing Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit loudly while he was in the shower. He blushed when I complimented him.

I was starting to surprise people with my behavior as well. I had stopped teasing people for no reason (although, I did talk about that banshee Susan to Ginny), I participated in class more, I had ceased my hanging on Draco routine that I was forced to do year after year, and I even spoke to a couple people from different houses. Mainly Ginny's friend Luna Lovegood, Romilda Vane, Lavender Brown, and Dean Thomas, whom I suspected had taken a fancy to me however, even though on paper I belonged to Draco, my heart was already claimed by Harry, unbeknownst to him.

October brought on many things to look forward to. Halloween being one of them. Halloween had always been my favorite holiday. I loved dressing up and being something that I wasn't for a night.

"What are you going to be for Halloween?" asked Harry on one of the rare days where it was just he and I studying together.

"Uh uh...my costumes are always kept a secret until the day of, Mr. Potter. I won't say a word." I said smirking at him.

He smiled back at me. "Sounds like a good plan. That way no one can copy you."

"Exactly."

"How do you feel about wearing a costume twice then?" he asked with a hint of mischief in his voice.

"Twice? Why would I do that?" I asked both confused and intrigued.

"You remember Ginny's older brothers Fred and George right?"

"The twins that always played pranks? Yeah I do. What about them?"

"Well, they are throwing a birthday party for Fred's girlfriend Angelina Johnson on the 30th. Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and I were invited, and we were told we could bring guests so, I thought that maybe you would like to come with me." said Harry almost shyly.

I blushed. 'He really thought of me as a guest to bring. Oh wait. It's probably just a friend thing.' I thought to myself.

"Sure. Sounds fun. I've never been invited to an actual fun party before. Most parties were always formal. And very boring."

"Ginny told me about the one you invited her to so I can imagine." laughed Harry. "This is gonna be a very fun party and you wanna know the best part about it?"

"What's that?"

"We have to sneak out the castle to get there." said Harry in a sneaky voice.

I laughed. "I thought you said being bad wasn't your thing."

"It isn't. Not all the time at least." He said with a wink.

The 30th had arrived and we had met at the statue of Gunhilda of Gorsemoor. Ron and Granger (who seemed to be a lot closer these days) had arrived along with Dean, Seamus (disgusting git), and Parvati Patil. Ginny had invited along Draco, Luna, and Blaise, and Harry of course had invited me, and much to my displeasure, Susan Annoying Ass Bitch Bones.

'Why why WHY did she have to fucking come?' I yelled inside my head. 'Okay Pansy. You can do this. Just try your best to be nice and not hex the little bint from here to the bloody Amazon. Think about having a fun time with your friends, associates, and Harry and not about drowning her like the sewer rat she was.'

We went through the passageway. The harpy latched onto Harry's arm claiming she was scared of the dark or some shit. Clever bitch. I should have thought of that.

We had walked for what seemed like an eternity, when finally we reached the trapdoor that led into Honeydukes. We went through the store as if we were shopping and exited out the door. There, we all apparated (Ginny and Luna having to do side along apparition with Draco and Blaise as they were underaged) to Diagon Alley and went to the twins flat.

The flat was wicked. Literally. There were enchanted bats flying around, ghouls popping out of pots, fog hovering on the floor and fake spiderwebs hung on various things. There were even muggle black lights hanging up making things glow.

I was dressed as a dark angel. My wings were enchanted to look solid, but really they were misty so people wouldn't be hit by them. Harry was a muggle version of a vampire, Ron and Granger had collaborated and was a prince and princess (which I couldn't even be mad, Granger looked nice), Ginny was a wood nymph, Draco was a muggle spy, Luna was a mermaid, and Blaise was dressed up in his Quidditch uniform being totally unoriginal.

The cockblock was some sort of fairy from a muggle story. I really didn't give a fuck.

The music was pumping and everyone was having a good time. A few people were shocked to see Blaise, Draco, and I, but when they realized we were only there for the fun, they didn't mind us being there.

An hour in and my feet were starting to hurt. I had put a cushioning charm on the inside of my heels and they felt a bit better. I had been trying to get up the courage to ask Harry to dance with me. I had waited on the perfect song to come on and everything. Something that I knew we could get close and dance to. Ginny and Draco were already having a great time (even though Angelina, Katie Bell, and Granger had to stop the twins and Ron from breaking up what looked like Ginny and Draco almost making love on the dance floor), Blaise seemed to had cozied up to Luna, and eventually Ron and Granger were dancing and snogging at the same time in a dark corner.

About bloody time.

Harry was sitting down on a stool by himself. I was making my way to him and was just about to ask him when...

"Harry, Harry!" harped the brown haired banshee Susan. "I love this song, come dance with me!"

She didn't even give the poor bloke a chance to answer before she snatched by the arm and whisked him over to the center of the room.

I sat on the stool that Harry had once occupied. I was fuming. If I could make it happen based on the way I was feeling at that moment, steam would be shooting out of my ears. How fucking dare she! She knew what I was going to do, she just had to. Otherwise she wouldn't have been so quick to get her ass to him. Stupid opportunist ass bitch.

My eyes burned a hole into her as I watched her dance with him. Her hands were rubbing all over his arms, she was trying her best to grind her hips into him. It was driving me nuts that he looked as if he was enjoying it.

I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and walked out of the room everyone was dancing in and into some bedroom. I sat down on the bed that was there and put my face into my hands.

I was so stupid. I shouldn't have came. Of course he wouldn't want to dance with me. Really me? A bloody Slytherin? The girl that he had to tolerate sharing his space with?

What did I have to offer him? Absolutely nothing. Why? Because I wouldn't be able to offer up anything anyways. Everything, including all of me, would soon belong to Draco. I was nothing but a piece of meat throw into the ring. And not even a prime cut. A snooty pureblood bitch who was only supposed to focus on money and power. Never mind love. Love didn't exist in my world

Harry wouldn't want me. Not this girl.

I tried to fight it, but I couldn't help the tears that came out of my eyes as I sat there and put myself down.