This chapter picks up where the last one left off.

Forgive me if I seem to need you too much

You illuminate my soul

Don't think that I could breathe without your touch

You could never know

When I'm with you I've got nothing to hide

You know me, you know me

I need you to survive

I know I'm alive when you hold me

Hold me

-Daniel Bedingfield All Your Attention

Chapter 13: Letters And Piano Keys

I never felt enraged in my entire life. I couldn't believe I allowed myself to lose control like that. And in front of Dean and my friends.

I wanted to kill her. I wanted to rip every single hair out of her head and make her eat it all. I wanted her to bleed.

At least I managed to black her eye, that bitch.

"Are you okay, love?" asked Dean after Harry chased after his whore."

"I'll be fine. I'm sorry I acted that way in front of you." I said, very much ashamed of myself.

"Don't apologize. That bint slapped you. You did exactly what I would have if she was a bloke and had done it to me."

"Shit, hexing isn't hitting. I'll hex her legs together if you want me to." said Blaise.

"She's gonna pay for hitting me in my lip." said Ginny. "I have a Bat Bogey hex cooking up with her name written all over it."

"That was uncalled for." said Hermione (we were actually almost friends). "She didn't need to slap you no matter what you called her."

"Thanks Hermione. And all of you. Right now, I just want to be alone."

Ginny and Luna hugged me while the others waved and walked out the door.

"Are you sure you're okay?" asked Dean once more.

I managed a smile. "I'll be fine. And don't believe her for a second okay?"

Like I'd listen to anything that mental bint says." he said kissing me.

"See you tomorrow." I said waving him off.

I found myself shaking. I felt as if I was about to explode. I needed something to do with my hands, so I walked over to the grand piano, sat down, and started playing Clair De Lune by Debussy. A song that would calm me down.

As I played, I reflected on what had happened. What I said. What I did. What she had said.

Was I really jealous of Harry and Susan's relationship? I couldn't be. I was right when I said that Harry didn't treat her like a girlfriend. At least not in front of me. But for me to care about that did it mean that I still liked Harry?

I had Dean. I liked Dean. I liked him a lot. He was so sweet and funny and he made me feel important. Wanted. Safe.

But Harry made me feel the same way too. We were still friends and I would still study and joke around with him, he would still check on me, and I would still fix his tie before we would leave for class. I shouldn't have still felt anything for him, especially since I did have such a great person in my life.

I was so in tune with my thoughts and the music that I didn't notice Harry sitting down on the bench beside me. It made me jump.

"No." said Harry in a low but sweet voice. "Don't stop. It's beautiful. Besides, you still owe me a song."

As much as I didn't want to, I found myself not being able to refuse him. I continued to play Clair De Lune, putting all the emotions that I was feeling into the piano.

For a while it was just the music. The music, the closeness, the smell of him, his very presence. I could feel his eyes on me. It was almost erotic. Despite the fact that it shouldn't have been.

I had to break this.

"Please talk." I said, hoping the conversation would break whatever spell that was trying to form.

"I'm sorry for her. I'm sorry for what happened." said Harry.

"I'm not jealous of her." I said to him.

"I know that."

"I do in fact, despise her." I said truthfully.

"I know that too." he said with a chuckle.

"Why Harry? Why did you have to choose her?" I said before I could stop myself.

"I didn't know." said Harry. "And then also I had thought...never mind."

"Tell me."

"I was angry at you at the time. Because of your letter."

I stopped playing. "My letter? What do you mean?"

"All the pieces didn't end up in the fire and I had read a small part that spoke on you and Malfoy getting married. I thought you had been lying to me about how you felt and it pissed me off. So when Sue asked me to the ball, I told her yes to get back at you."

I sighed. "So that's why you were angry."

Harry nodded.

"Harry, my parents and the Malfoys signed a contract right after I was born for me and Draco to be married. They didn't tell us until the day before we left for our first year at Hogwarts. Neither one of us has ever liked each other in that way and we both don't want the marriage to happen. Draco is still fighting his father about it because he loves Ginny, and has loved her for years. And everything about me? It's just a mask. I'm not that lovesick over Draco bitch that people think I am. I had to play that role for my family." I explained.

"I figured out a while back that the old you wasn't you." grinned Harry.

"Yes. I thought that since I was going to get married the day after I turned 18, I would try to live the way I wanted to until I couldn't anymore. I encouraged Draco to do the same thing, and now he's with Gin. And I had thought that...but I'm with Dean now, so..."

"So you fancied me?" asked Harry scooting closer to me.

I nodded. "I did."

"Do you still?" asked Harry as he put his hand on my waist.

I quivered at his touch. I couldn't help it. I wanted to tell him no. I wanted to tell him that he was a fool if he thought that I still fancied him after that stunt he pulled. But I would have been lying if I did and contrary to popular belief, I wasn't much of a good liar.

"I'm not for certain anymore." I said truthfully.

Next thing I knew Harry's lips were touching mine. And even worse, I found myself kissing him back.

His lips were tender and sweet. They felt like soft pillows that I just didn't want to move away from. He pulled me into him, deepening the kiss, running his fingers through my hair. My body and mind were at a war. I knew this was wrong, but I almost didn't care.

That is until my finger hit a piano key and the noise broke the terrible and lovely spell.

"No!" I said breaking away from him, tears forming in my eyes. "I'm with Dean now. I can't do this to him!"

"Pansy I-"

"Harry I can't. I really like Dean and I don't want to hurt him."

"But you like me too. And I do fancy you as well."

"You do?" I said, astonished. This is what I always had wanted to hear, ever since 5th year. But not when….

"Yes. I realized that when I got mad at the letter." said Harry, blushing.

"I...I can't. It's not right to Dean. I can't hurt him, I can't. He wouldn't hurt me like this."

Harry pulled me closer to him. "But what about me?"

I put my hands on his chest trying to push him away. "Harry you hurt me first and...wait...so you really knew what you were doing to me when you said yes to her?"

"I didn't know that you fancied me, I swear. Otherwise I wouldn't have said yes at all. I just thought you didn't want me going with her because you didn't like her." said Harry.

"I can't believe this." I said breaking away from Harry and getting up from the piano.

"I'm really sorry." said Harry.

"So am I." I said.

I turned and ran up the steps to my room. I slammed the door and was planning on falling face first on my bed when I saw a letter on my bed.

I already knew who it was from as I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the letter. I saw red. Literally. The letter was written in red ink.

Pansy,

Due to the rumors that both Lucius Malfoy and I have been hearing, we have decided that since you two are already of age, the wedding will be moved to the Easter holidays.

Both you and Draco are to come home. No ifs, ands, or buts. Imagine my daughter, falling for not only Harry Potter, but dating a filthy Mudblood. And Draco is with a blood traitor? You can imagine Lucius's horror to find out it was the Weasley girl that has held his son's fancy over these years. We are all thoroughly embarrassed.

Draco shall be getting a letter as well. April 2nd is your wedding date. You will be there. Stop disgracing our family name at that school!

Yours,

Mother.

I put a silencing charm on my door and screamed until my vocal cords hurt.