Chapter Six -My mistake

AFTER

It took me a lot of time to realize that everything had changed. It was like I had been on Tenrou Island and everyone else stayed at the guild. I tried to adjust, but it was all visibly different.

The guild hall had changed it's structure, it had far more plants that I could remember. The tables were brand new, probably taken out of the store a few days ago since there were only slight scratches, which was a sign for new.

As much as I wanted for everything to stay the way it is...it couldn't. They all had moved on. And everything I could do at that point was to simply catch up.

I made a mental list of people I needed to talk to, but like always, I sucked at organizing stuff, even in my mind.

I stopped midway to my first choice and just sat across Cana. As usually, she was drinking, her attention captured by the massive amount of beer her cup could have inside. I swear it had some kind of bottomless magic since it seemed not ending.

"Hey, Cana," I murmured and gave her my signature grin.

She gulped a few more times before deciding whether she would talk to me or not.

For some reason I felt unwanted. And it was a feeling I didn't want to experience.

"Heey, Natsu," she dragged her greeting, drunkenly.

I was almost sure it took more alcohol to take Cana down, but I began to doubt not only if the cup had a bottom or now, but if it really was beer the liquid she was drinking.

"How's it been? I just want to get back into business with you guy."

The brunette eyed me for a second before she smiled, giving me the same wide grin I gave her.

"You know, it can always be better. But I am damn satisfied of how things turned out to be though," her mind drifted somewhere else, but she kept talking to me. "My old man and I had some catching up to do as well. We even took a mission together. Not that I did anything. You know how S-class wizards do it all." All of a sudden she was back in the present and looking me in the eyes more serious than I had ever seen her. "Why'd you leave, Natsu? Do you know how everyone changed? It was like an atomic bomb had blown around, except there were no physical damages. All of a sudden everyone took the high road with Gray and Lucy having Andy, Juvia marrying Lyon, even Erza took things more seriously and went to flip the coins with Jellal. We know how they are. It's just...it wasn't nessesery."

I had stopped looking at her for quite some time, lowering my gaze to look at my trembling fingers. They were desperately trying to find relief by playing with the edge of my scarf.

I already knew I had done a mistake. That is why I had come back. I realized it was not only mine and Lucy's life changing, it was the whole guild. Even though each one had their moment of happiness, it would have been way different.

I grinded my teeth together to get a hold of myself. I wasn't angry or anything, I had to knock some common sense into my own head.

"Wait, so Lucy and Gray only had...the kid. They were not married before?"

My mind had drifted off when distracted by the change surrounding me, but found it's way to the only thing I cared about right then.

"Yeah, I think it was an accident. They said it after coming back from a mission," Cana took a sip from her drink. "You know me, eavesdropping all the time, but they kept it close circle members only. I don't know. You should ask someone closer to the core of things."

I nodded, still processing what she was telling me. I quickly stood up, jumping over the bench I was standing and flashing a smile at Cana before leaving.

"I owe you a drink," I yelled over my shoulder and all she did was let out a deep throat laughter.

By walking closer to the bar I could feel the sent of cranberries and some kind of a fruit that I knew but couldn't exactly wrap my finger around what it was.

As I reached the high stools and table and rang the little bell on top. The tune was soft and melody, but it somewhat drilled a hole in my eardrums, being to high pitched for my sensitive hearing.

"Mira!" I yelled impatient.

The white haired model came out through the kitchen door, smiling as usual with that glow in her eyes like the world was the sunniest, most beautiful place.

"How can I help you Natsu? Haven't been around and missed my dishes," she joked and went to pour me a cup of water, which I eventually drank.

"Of course I did. No one can cook as magnificent as you, Mira," I grinned and crossed my hands on the counter, going closer to her, but not too much since we were going to get suspicious. "I have been wanting to thank you bout the letter. All I wanted to know was how things were and by the idea I got, I thought it was all perfect."

In a moment I felt weak. Unable to continue a battle. I really did want to break down and just let it slide. It was all done and after all this time, coming back was not a good choice I could make. They were sad, but life continued without me, which was the most heartwrecking part of all.

"Mira...in your letter, you say exactly two sentences about Lucy. I have read those some many time that they have been engraved to the inner side of my skull and I can't wrap my mind around any of it. Lucy took it hard. But she moved on. That was all Mira, that was all you could say to make me feel better? You are doing not a very good job."

I could feel my bottled up anger coming to the surface, but as soon as I realized I was being immature and that time had ended, I sat back down in my stool and relaxed my tense muscles.

I lowered my voice, "I have been gone, Mira. And all this time I have been making up things in my head. I don't know how other S-class wizards do this, but each day my mind came back here. I just wasn't enough there to change het situation. Hell, at that time I wasn't even sure I wanted t changed. Meaning it could keep me there."

Mira was listening to me without any emotion other then pure calmness that ran around her in waves, giving me the strength to keep my body relaxed as well. She stretched her tiny hand, somewhat skin harder than I expected them to be, but she was lead chef and it made sense.

"Natsu, I think I am not the right person for you to be telling this."

I raised my gaze to meet hers and get even more confused.

"Three years may not seem like a lot at this point, but change had been essential. Just...understand that we are the same, we will always be your family, be there for you when needed -" she squeezed slightly and I tensed again, "but you need to get used to catching up at this point. I assure you, we are here for you. Even she is and now she won't admit it, but you are a part of her heart that she lost and the only thing needed is for you to take your rightful place."

Mirajane's eyes were warmly looking at me, like taking care of a scared little kid.

"Take it slow, it's said time to be soothing the pain, but it is all too soon and if I were her it would always be too soon."

I let out I breath I hadn't realized I was holding and by taking the next one I had decided to do as Mira had told me. That is why I was back. I had to make it up to Lucy. I had to do things right. Even if it is all too late.

I walked out of the guild, moonlight hitting the town directly from above. I looked up, starting at the sky, which had only one star.

"I will change it soon, Luce. I will change everything soon."

Okay pumpkins, apparently I am not very good at keeping up, but I do my best. I have all of the story planned real good, but I always seem to have distractions.

I am reaaaaally sorry for not updating yesterday and not updating as much as promised, but I will try harder. I will do so for you guys.

~Bria