This was a request by AriJustAri. I listened to the song she asked me to use and I loved how well it symbolized their relationship. Yup... totally my OTP. XD No joke.
Told in Kyle's POV
Takes place after "Cartman Finds Love"
Pairing: Kyman
Song: Pink- True Love
"I can't believe you Cartman!" I screamed at him after the game was over. "You humiliated me not only in front of Nichole, but in front of the whole damn town!"
"I did it for you ya stupid Jew!" He hollered back at me.
"Bullshit Cartman! You did because you're fucking stuck up and racist and think two people from different races dating is wrong, even though it clearly isn't!"
"Don't accuse me of that Kahl! That's not even completely true!"
I threw back my head and let out a long bitter laugh. "Oh that's real funny, fatass. For what other reason would you embarrass me like that?"
"Maybe because I actually genuinely like you okay?!"
I ceased moving and just stared at him. No... there's no way. He hates me. And I hate him. It can't be true.
"Cartman..." I tried to think of something to say that didn't sound homophobic or offensive. "You can't be serious."
"Yes Kyle I am." Cartman said to me. "It may not seem true because I've teased you your whole life, but I told everyone we were together because I was jealous of your crush on Nichole. I sang that song because I actually do fell that way about you!"
I snapped out of my frozen state and yelled, "As if! I can't believe you would lie to me about something like this, and have the nerve to lie to other people about this bullshit, but trying to trick me into believing this, it just infuriates me!" I spun around and said, "See ya Cartman. Hope you're happy with yourself."
The next thing I new, Cartman grabbed me, spinning me around, to face him again, and then...
Smash.
That's what the impact felt like. No, Cartman didn't hit me.
He kissed me.
My eyes widened like saucers and my face turned as red as a fire engine. What. The. Fuck?!
I shoved Cartman away. "What the hell are you doing, fatass?!" I shouted.
"Giving you proof you stupid ass jew!" Cartman yelled, pointing a finger at me. "You doubted me and I showed you I'm being fucking serious!"
"But-but..." Great. I really couldn't think of any reason as to why he would do that besides the fact of him actually genuinely liking me. But it can't be true!
There was only one idea that crossed my mind.
Run.
So I did. I turned and scrambled down the street. I didn't know where I was going. But anywhere was better than here.
I collapsed out of breath at Stark's Pond. I dragged myself on my aching legs over to a log, and plopped down on it.
I thought about everything that just happened with Cartman a few minutes ago. Did he really like me? But he's supposed to hate me right? Am I'm supposed to hate him.
Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say
Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face
But if we hate each other, why did I feel something when he kissed me?
When did this "feelings" thing even occur to him?
When did my life turn into a fucking soap opera?
There's no one quite like you
You push all my buttons down
I know life would suck without you
After all those years of torture, all those times he's teased me and picked on me and made my life hell... he really liked me all along?
Or was it recently that he realized he liked me?
No no no. He lied. He fucking lied. This isn't real. It's a dream I need to desperately wake up from.
At the same time, I wanna hug you
I wanna wrap my hands around your neck
You're an asshole but I love you
And you make me so mad I ask myself
I pinched the skin of my arm... hard.
Ow! Not a dream definitely not a dream.
Why I'm still here, or where could I go
You're the only love I've ever known
But I hate you, I really hate you,
I thought about all those times he's screwed me over, all the times we've fought and bickered. But I remember when Stan wouldn't hang out with us because he was "too mature" to hang with us anymore, and Cartman and I hung out and actually got along for once. It was actually really nice. I know he teased me about me and Stan dating or whatever, but when Stan wasn't around, he was actually... a decent guy.
Was he... jealous of Stan too?
No no NO! Stop thinking like this!
So much, I think it must be
True love, true love
It must be true love
Nothing else can break my heart like
True love, true love,
Why is this so complicated? It should be simple.
We're bitter enemies who both have feelings for each other.
Wait. What did I just say?! Forget I said that!
It must be true love
No one else can break my heart like you
I growled in frustration and hurled a rock into the pond in anger. Why me?
Just once try to wrap your little brain around my feelings
Just once please try not to be so mean
It's not fair that I had to fall for the guy I hated more than anything.
Yeah I admit it.
Repeat after me now R-O-M-A-N-C-E-E-E
Come on I'll say it slowly (Romance)
You can do it baby
I like Eric Cartman.
Happy now?
At the same time, I wanna hug you
I wanna wrap my hands around your neck
You're an asshole but I love you
And you make me so mad I ask myself
Why I'm still here, or where could I go
You're the only love I've ever known
But I hate you, I really hate you,
Fuck my life.
Seriously, fuck my life.
So much, I think it must be
True love, true love
It must be true love
Nothing else can break my heart like
True love, true love,
It must be true love
And no one else can break my heart like you
Uggggh.
I buried my face in my hands. I feel awful now for yelling at him and pushing him away.
I love you, I think it must be love, I love you
I should have told him the truth.
I was just afraid. Afraid he was punking me. But the kiss... it made me feel different. Like I was flying.
Like I was free.
Why do you rub me up the wrong way?
Why do you say the things that you say?
Sometimes I wonder how we ever came to be
But without you I'm incomplete
Free of ridicule and judgment and sadness.
God I'm so stupid!
I think it must be
True love, true love
It must be true love
Nothing else can break my heart like
True love, true love,
It must be true love
I stood up from the log. I let out a sigh, and turned away from the pond.
I know what I have to do.
And no one else can break my heart like you
Annnnnd... CUT! That's a wrap people! I watched "Cartman finds love" and flipped my shit because it was the best kyman episode ever. And I love kyman as you can tell. Hope you like it Ari and the rest of you.
LATES!
-Liv