"The sky will open up and reveal a star, one who will defeat the woods of shadows and dance with the flames."

Sandpaw watched as the blue she-cat walked away, the landscape around her melting into nothingness like a sad popsicle. The darkness, in turn, faded and the medicine cat apprentice stretched her legs, reviewing the StarClan warrior's message in her mind. What could it mean? Sandpaw could not figure it out. She concentrated hard, her tiny cat brain hard at work until it was flooded with hunger. Sandpaw flushed the prophecy out of her mind and pranced over to the fresh-kill pile.

Nightclaw bit down on the stick, her mind filled with pain.

"Just a little more. Keep pushing!" Redfeather cried. Nightclaw's body convulsed again and the queen squeezed her eyes closed. Sandpaw, the sandy-colored apprentice with eyes that looked like sand, ran over to gawk at the birthing mother. Sandpaw imagined herself in that state when she and her true love, Mudpaw, became mates and decided to make kits, however that happened. She relished the thought until Nightclaw's shriek pierced the air, shaking her back into reality.

"Sandpaw!" Redfeather mewed. "Come here and be useful."

Sandpaw shook her head free of her silly thoughts. Anyway, Mudpaw was in love with the beautiful WindClan apprentice, Lichenpaw, who didn't return his affections. She sighed. Love triangles were always so complicated. Why can't Mudpaw just realize how awesome I am? she lamented. Lichenpaw was too perfect; she couldn't be a real cat. No, if all her wavy, glorious fur fell out there'd probably be the lovechild of Firestar and a monster underneath. Nightclaw screamed again. Sandpaw felt like screaming too. Why couldn't the queen just shut up and give birth already? It's just a kit, it wasn't like she needed to self-centeredly destroy everyone's ears.

"Sandpaw, come here," Redfeather mewed again. She walked over to where the queen was arrogantly interrupting Sandpaw's daydreams. "Do you see what Nightclaw is doing right now? She's giving birth. It means there's gonna be some kits." Redfeather paused and turned his head. Continuing in the same monotone established earlier, "I hate kits."

"GET! OUT!" Nightclaw kicked, her leg sending Sandpaw flying. She huffed, dusted herself off, and walked back to the birthing scene. This time behind Redfeather.

"Nightclaw, I think you're having kits," Redfeather gasped.

Sandpaw ignored the boring, overly-long birth and her mentor's shocking revelations, instead choosing to daydream about Mudpaw's dazzling, starry, dirt-colored eyes and his adorably teeny muscles rippling under his pelt. The way he smiled at the ground was so beautiful and heart-wrenching.

Next thing she knew, Nightclaw was gasping with a wet kit by her side. Redfeather rushed over to start licking the useless bundle of fur. "See? I was right. You were having kits." He looked so proud of himself.

A thought of blue flashed in Sandpaw's mind, however the hell that would work. Somehow, Sandpaw's mind transcended her normal level of angsty 'paw romance and self-absorbed, snarky comments into a realm of higher thought processes. Having unlocked the basic power of connection and addition, Sandpaw cast her gaze all over the scene, using her newfound superpower to analyze the situation. Then, something miraculously clicked in her brain.

"The night is the sky. The prophecy said "There will be a sky that bursts and a star will fall out of it who'll save us all" or something weird like that and look, Nightclaw burst open to reveal this." Sandpaw prodded the useless, furry ball. "This kit will save StarClan and defeat the Dark Forest once and for all. She is very special. She must be named Starkit because that's what it said in the prophecy."

Redfeather looked up from the kit. "What if she becomes leader?"

"Do you dare deny StarClan?" Sandpaw hissed. "Her name is Starkit. StarClan said so!"

"Do I get a say in this?" Nightclaw asked.

"Quiet, she-cat!" Sandpaw mewed. "I am StarClan! I am the law! And she is the Chosen One and her name is Starkit and there will be no questioning the will of StarClan! Got it?"

Redfeather looked at the little Starkit. "Hmm."

"What is it now, old mouse-brain? Do you want to disobey StarClan? Are you a Dark Forest worshiper now?" Sandpaw hissed. "Remember, elder, I have claws and you just have stubby paws and old bones that snap easily. I could destroy you in a heartbeat!"

"No, it's not that," Redfeather mewed calmly. "It's just one minor detail."

Sandpaw waited, her claws unsheathed and muscles tense. She stared deeply into her mentor's amber eyes as if she were trying to make him explode. Several heartbeats passed, and Sandpaw's eyes were watering. She finally gave in and blinked. "What is it?"

"Oh. Nothing super important. Just that Starkit's a he."

Starkit woke to what sounded like two mice attempting to cause an earthquake with their squeaks, and they succeeded. Starkit opened his green eyes and looked around, not seeing what was causing the source of ruckus. He shrugged and tried to go back to sleep until a furry projectile came barreling into him. He turned around to his littermate, Crowkit.

"Roar, I'm a ShadowClan warrior and I want to eat your kits, steal your prey, and make dung on your Highrock!" the dark kit mewed, delighted by her impressive wit, and batted Starkit with her paw. He flinched.

"Well, I'm a RiverClan cat and I'm reeeeally faaaaat. Dur. Me hungry." Starkit's other littermate, Smokekit, stumbled towards Crowkit until he fell from the weight of his imaginary girth. "Wah, I'm drowning!"

The possibly offensive caricatures continued sparring while Starkit watched, boredom setting in his eyes. He was one of the few kits who realized that, when not adorable, kits were severely annoying, almost to the point of causing death in the weak-minded observer. So Starkit refrained from engaging in such childish games, instead opting to pretend like he was just a poor warrior trapped in a kit's body. What would StarClan do? he thought.

"Uh, guys?" Starkit started. "You shouldn't make fun of other Clans. They have feelings. They could be hurt by your words. This is how wars start." Starkit had summoned his deepest, most adult voice he could make, but it ended coming out as a squeak.

His littermates/racist stereotypes stopped and turned towards Starkit. Crowkit leapt towards him and swiped at his ears, purring with amusement. "Go away, you stupid WindClan warrior! We know you don't want to fight because you're a coward and you're only good at chasing rabbits and making dung!" Again, she seemed amazed to be able to come up with such insightful and witty comments in a heartbeat.

"Yeah, and you eat crowfood too." Smokekit joined the tussle.

"No, that's me, you dumb mouse-brain." The two purred in amusement, at least until Crowkit took the opportunity to jab him in the throat. "That'll teach you to never trust a ShadowClan cat. We're made of pure evil!"

"Come on, Starkit, play with us! Or are you scared, WindClan piece of foxdung?" Smokekit asked.

"No. I don't think we should do this. We're going to be apprentices tomorrow. We need to be mature! What if Birchstar sees us doing this, and he banishes us from ThunderClan because we were being disrespectful to the other Clans? We'll never get to be warriors; we'd be kits forever and then maybe a vole would eat us!"

His littermates stared at him. Then they both started purring, merriment dancing in their eyes. "Roar, I'm a vole and I'm going to eat you alive because I'm so big and scary!" "No, you're wrong! You can eat Starkit, but you'll never eat me!"

Starkit slunk off, away from the squabbling duo and towards what he thought would be a future of maturity, warriors, prey, and being a goody two-shoes to other Clans. Ah yes, he would be the greatest ThunderClan warrior.

A body crashed next to Starkit, and he practically jumped through the nursery walls.

Or not.

The day came and went, the night following in its footsteps (metaphorical, of course), until the sun rose once again. This day would become one of the five most important events in the entire history of everything, for three kits were going to become apprentices. That may not sound so grand, but remember, one of those kits was very special and part of the prophecy that would determine the fate of the Clans! It should be made into a holiday.

Smokekit pummeled Starkit weakly with his paws. "Wake up, sleepyhead! We're gonna be apprentices and if you don't wake up you're gonna sleep through and then you'll have to join WindClan!" Starkit lifted his groggy head and walked towards the Highledge, stumbling as his hyperactive littermates bumped past him. He could see his Clanmates gathered under the tall rock, the light brown leader, Birchstar, perched on top of it.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Highledge for a Clan meeting," Birchstar mewed. He had thought about changing the words around sometimes, just to be different, but he feared what StarClan might do to him if he dared to alter the phrase. Lightning, forest fires, nor giant, talking maggots seemed outside the realm of possibility. So partially out of respect but mostly out of completely well-founded paranoia, Birchstar continued to use the hackneyed but safe sentence. Perhaps one day, near the end of his life, he would change the 'beneath' to 'underneath' and then watch the entire world die to floods and flying fish just to satisfy his curiosity.

"Anywho, there are a few kits that are ready to become apprentices," Birchstar mewed. Starkit watched as Smokekit, and then Crowkit, became apprentices and were assigned mentors. Starkit imagined what it would be like to lead the Clan from the magnificent top of the Highledge. He would make ThunderClan the greatest Clan ever under the wise and wonderful reign of him, the mighty Starstar!

"Alright, Crowpaw, you can go down now. Stop begging for attention." Birchstar looked exasperated at her wacky hijinx. "Seriously, Crowpaw, get down. We get it. You're special. Everyone should love you because you're so unique." Crowpaw purred softly and bounded down from the Highledge, her green eyes twinkling.

"Just one last thing," Crowpaw mewed. "I. Love… deathberries! Long live randomness!" If cats could laugh, ThunderClan would still be silent. Unless you were named Crowpaw, in which case you were guffawing like a drunk hyena. She paused, seeing her Clanmates' bewildered expressions. "Whatever, you humorless snobs. I don't need you to validate me."

"Will you stop talking?" asked Birchstar. "But to get to our next point of business. Last in the terrible, tiny trio is Starkit." He almost choked on the word. Starkit buried his head in his paws. It wasn't his fault his mother wanted to give him a unique name! He felt dizzy, though whether that was from the ridiculousness of his name or some other reason was a riddle for the ages.

"Starkit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Starpaw. Your mentor will be Mudpool. I hope Mudpool will pass down all he knows on to you."

"Mudpool, you are ready to take on an apprentice. You had received excellent training from Pinefoot, and you have shown yourself to be utterly amazing at everything and… still amazing. You will be the mentor of Starpaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to Starpaw."

Mudpool raced up to the Highledge and the two touched noses.

"Okay, that's all for now, cats. Have a good day and may you catch a lot of prey." Birchstar disappeared into his den, thinking to himself how that would make a good catchphrase. Perhaps it would even catch on, and generations later cats would still sing softly "Birchstar's Hymn".

Starpaw walked down from the Highledge, nearly stumbling as he did so. Thanking StarClan that he didn't actually fall and make a fool of himself, he continued carefully down Highl— aw, no. He fell and made a fool of himself. What a twist! Somewhere above, StarClan was laughing. Pain is hilarious!

Starpaw did not stir from the spot he lied in, instead letting the dizziness wash over him as the world faded, a transparent blue-gray cat walking towards him.