Carol keeps vigil at Daryl's bed side while Rick and Morgan deal with the last Wolf as they scavenge the Pack's lair.

Gray Matters

"I need to keep him here so I can monitor him—he has internal injuries—I had to sedate him...he wouldn't let go of her...we had to ...so she wouldn't turn..." Erin was very upset, but doing her best to stay calm in front of Carol.

Daryl had some sort of mental break there in the cell after Deanna had given her life to save him. No one could get through to him, not even Rick who'd known him the longest. Erin had been forced to put him out when he'd fought them over releasing the ASZ leader's body. Aaron had been able to take care of her before she turned, but it had been a near thing.

Carol sat next to Daryl on the patient bed in the infirmary, holding his hand, wanting nothing more than to take him home and curl around him and never let him go, but she understood that his condition wouldn't allow that. His poor face was so bruised and swollen he looked like he'd gone ten rounds with the Hulk, and the rest of him wasn't much better. She brushed the hair back from his troubled forehead and placed a soft lingering kiss over the W that had been incised there.

Daryl softly moaned.

"Shhh...I'm here...you're safe now..." Carol said softly, kissing his brow again.

Daryl sighed in his sleep and his face relaxed.

Carol looked over at Aaron who stood next to Eric on the other side of the bed. Daryl's sacrifice had not only deflected attention from the women, he had saved his recruiting partner from branding—his forehead remained untouched—because they hadn't gotten around to his turn at torture before the ASZ people had attacked.

"What happened to him?" Carol asked quietly and then returned her gaze to Daryl.

"He protected us. They tortured him." Aaron replied, though that much was obvious.

"What happened to him?" Carol asked again, this time in a terse don't bullshit me because you don't think I can handle it tone.

"I'm so sorry..." Aaron said, his voice breaking. Eric's arm was around him for support.

"He's a hero. He saved us." a voice from one of the beds across the room spoke up. It was the elder of the two sisters they'd found in the Wolves' compound, Brianna. The younger, Riley was in the bed next to her, also sedated, like Daryl, with an IV drip in her arm.

"You should be resting." Erin admonished her. Both women were dehydrated, malnourished and even more physically at risk from their longer term abuse than Daryl. Riley had a high fever from an infection caused by a partial miscarriage. Erin had done a D&C to remove the remaining tissue, but if the antibiotics didn't work further surgery might be necessary.

"What they did to him, to us...it doesn't stain us—their sins—are not our sins...he's innocent..." Brianna's voice rose, begging Carol, begging them all to understand, tears of anger and righteousness flashing in her eyes.

Erin went to her, gently offering support, but the woman kept staring at Carol, willing her to understand.

"I know." Carol said, her fears for him confirmed, knowing his worst wounds weren't the ones she could see, hating that he'd been forced to endure the mental anguish of reliving what his father had done to him. She looked at Aaron and Eric, "He'll need Claire here; when he wakes up."

"We all will." Erin said, looking around the room full of the people most directly damaged by the Wolves, but wondering how the whole community would cope with the loss of their leader.

"You did good back there." Rick said to Morgan. They were working on loading the supplies they'd found in the Wolves' lair. The two of them had stayed behind while Michonne, Eugene and Abraham had taken the rescued ones, and Deanna's body, back to the ASZ in the RV.

Brianna had identified the man who had been with the Queen as Grayson, who had only recently joined the pack after being captured. Their ranks low after the failed attack on the ASZ, new captives were given a choice. For the men, it was join or end up in the cells in the basement or in one of the traps. Women weren't given a choice.

His intelligence and dark good looks quickly made Grayson a favorite of Circe, who took him as her lover. Behind her back he had tried to help the captives, giving them extra rations and bringing them what herbs, like the mint, he could sneak in. In front of Circe and the others he played the part, using his status to avoid participating in the assaults, though there was no way to stop them.

What to do with him was the question the group faced without a lot of time to decide it. Michonne pointed out that sometimes good people found themselves in impossible situations—Noah at Grady, Daryl with the Claimers, Eugene's lie—you did what you had to do to survive. Unsurprisingly Morgan wanted to bring him into the fold, while after seeing what had been done to Daryl, Rick was holding the Python to the young man's head, muttering his usual "None of them get to live. "

The compromise was to have him remain with Morgan and Rick while the others took Daryl and the women back to the ASZ. The Wolf knew where all of the weapons and supplies were stored and promised to help them locate them in return for his release, far from the Zone.

Now that the herd had passed they were scavenging for anything they could find to load into the red rust bucket car. Though it had been damaged when it was rammed into the gate, it still ran, although the blood, bone and brain matter sprayed over the interior from the pack member's suicide made it a grisly option. After removing the bodies, they cleaned it as best they could and put a tarp they'd found over the seats.

They'd transferred a trailer hitch from the blown up pick-up onto the car and hitched it to the small U-Haul that the Wolves had used to transport walkers and human cargo alike. It was just big enough for Daryl's bike if they removed the tires. They filled in around it with anything of value they could find, from medical supplies to winter clothing, but placed the most needed items, food and drugs, in the car.

"There has to be room for gray, Rick." Morgan said. "You're not livin' in a black and white world. Nothing's ever all right or all wrong. We do our best, we compromise to survive, make the best decision possible for the situation." He lifted a heavy box of canned food into the trunk of the car and pulled out one of the cans to hold up and look at its label.

"What?" Rick asked, dropping another box in beside the one Morgan had placed, seeing the sad smile on the other man's face.

"This was Duane's favorite: canned peaches; liked 'em better than fresh." Morgan said with a wry chuckle. "Living in Georgia, and he liked canned best."

"Duane your kid?" the former Wolf asked, his voice cautiously curious, as he carried over another box of food.

Rick turned and glared at the man, but Morgan nodded.

"He was."

"I had a little brother, he was just a baby...and a sister...she was thirteen. We were in the evacuation camp when it all started. I was nineteen so they made me go with the men to work on the fences—I tried to tell them our mom was dead, that Enid didn't have any help to take care of Charlie but me, but they wouldn't listen." the young man's voice was hoarse, pained. "Camp got overrun. Never saw them again."

"Enid?" Rick asked, something tripping in his mind, hadn't the girl said she'd had a baby brother? He exchanged a look with Morgan who tilted his head encouragingly.

"She'd be fifteen now." Grayson nodded, rubbing the letter incised into his forehead, "Part of me hopes she's dead and didn't end up with animals like these..."

"About yea high with brown hair and eyes? Kinda surly?" Morgan asked, holding his hand out to about shoulder height. The young man in front of him had similar coloring.

The look on Grayson's face was stunned hope warring with disbelief. Enid wasn't that common a name.

"Shorter...but it's been almost two years..." he stopped and then asked, haltingly, "She have...was ...is there a little boy with her?"

"I'm sorry son, just her." Rick said, feeling some grudging pity for his loss, watching as the young man's face fell and he bowed his head.

"Guess this changes the plan." Morgan mused, making both Rick and Grayson look over at him.

After a beat Rick nodded, his brow wrinkling thoughtfully, thinking of how he'd felt when Carol and Ty had reunited him with Judith and then gestured at the back seat.

"Lookin' kind of gray all right." Rick sighed in resignation. "Have to leave some room in the back for a passenger."

The former Wolf, who might be their little murderess's brother, looked back and forth between the men who had argued such different ideas about what should be done with him...

And started to cry.

"You need to wake up now." Carol's whisper was warm, calm, but with a hint of impatience.

She was sitting on Daryl's bed in the infirmary, leaning close to his ear, her hand resting on his shoulder. He was sleeping on his side, the way he seemed most comfortable. Restless, he always came back to that position. His arm was strapped to a stabilizing board so he wouldn't pull the IV out.

"Physically he's doing much better." Erin said quietly as she adjusted his IV drip. "All his vitals are stable—he has a heart like a bull—the antibiotics have knocked down his fever and there's no sign of infection."

"And they'll help if...I mean if he was exposed to any STDs?" Carol asked. There was no telling what kinds of things the monsters who had hurt him might have been harboring.

"It's a broad spectrum antibiotic cocktail. It should knock down pretty much anything. I gave it to all of the Wolves when I was with them. Hopefully that means they were clean and didn't pass on anything to Daryl and the others." Erin said carefully, glancing at Brianna and Riley. "I'm doing cultures to see if anything shows up in their blood work."

Carol nodded. Neither of them said the obvious, the fears that all rape victims had; that there were things like HIV and hepatitis that even the best drugs couldn't stop.

"He's strong Carol—he'll get through this." Erin said encouragingly, coming close so she could reach out and squeeze her shoulder. "You both will."

"Thank you-for all you've done." Carol said brightly, placing her hand over the doctor's.

"How are you feeling?" Erin asked solicitously, noting that the signs of stress that had become so prominent during the time Daryl had been missing had smoothed out and Carol seemed much more at ease. "Morning sickness letting up a little and letting you eat? I ordered you to gain at least five pounds or more before the end of the month."

"Just because I'm happy and pregnant doesn't mean you can boss me around." Carol snorted and dropped her hand. Erin patted her shoulder again and straightened, looking stern.

"You're pregnant?" Brianna, the elder of the young blonde women across the room asked incredulously, sitting up in her bed and looking over at Carol with surprise. She'd watched the quiet gray haired woman sit at Daryl's bedside all night, trying to puzzle out their relationship. Was she the new leader of the Zone that they were now in? She seemed to care for him a great deal. Daryl had a lover, Carol—Aaron had told her the name—but this woman didn't fit her idea of the kind of woman she'd expected the warrior to have made his.

Carol and Erin looked over at the other woman with identical raised eyebrow and what business is it of yours? expressions.

"You're Carol?" Brianna asked, "Daryl's woman?" and Carol nodded yes.

"But he's so...muscles and sexy and you're old..." Brianna said in confusion. "You have gray hair!"

"I'm only four years older than him." Carol said tartly. "And that isn't powdered sugar on his beard."

"You tell 'er, sweetheart." the rasped growl from the man in the bed sounded amused but tired.

"Daryl?" Carol whipped her head back to the bed and saw that his eyes were squinted open and he was looking up at her with a hint of a weary smile.

"Hey." Daryl said, his voice sandpaper rough but strong, "You there or am I here?" he asked, making Carol and Erin frown.

"You're home, back in Alexandria." Carol told him, smiling joyfully and reaching up and pushing his hair back off his face.

"Head feels...kinda floaty..." Daryl mused, his eyes unfocused and his smile going a bit lopsided. "Am I high?"

"That's the painkillers, Daryl." Erin told him. "We had to give them to you so you could... rest. You've been out about a day and a half."

"Well, least that 'splains it." Daryl said, chuckling and giving a big sigh before raising Carol's hand to his lips to press a sloppy kiss to her knuckles.

"Explains what?" Carol asked, smiling at him.

Daryl looked up at her and seemed to focus better, but then an expression of horrible sadness and grief went over his face and he held her hand so tightly Carol winced.

"You're here...not dead...I'm here..." he said softly, in wonder.

"That's right, we're here, and you're home." Carol nodded, smiling at him reassuringly through tears.

"'Splains it..." he mumbled, his eyes drifting shut, starting to fade again.

"Explains what, Daryl?" Carol asked again softly.

"...thought I heard you say you were happy and pregnant." Daryl smiled a bit vacantly and then added wistfully, "You happy at my baby in your belly? Said you can't do that...had to be the drugs..." and then he was asleep again.

AN: Yes, Brianna was channeling a little TD opinion of Carol there...Notice how Caryl shut her down? heh heh heh.

Thanks to whoever recommended my older fic, "Holding On and Letting Go" to the Carylsmut blog! I couldn't figure out why I was getting so many new favorites & follows on it on until I stumbled on the listing on another Tumblr site;-)