Warnings: Not very Gibbs friendly. Spoilers for S11, S13
A/N: McGee and Leah's drive to West Virignia; Gibbs thoughts before they arrive at the hospital, so this takes place in "Slowly Fading Away" after Tony has been found and is in the hospital there. These are really going to be fill-in-the blank chapters leading up to "Surreal". If you want a heavy dose of angst, I suggest you go read it lol.
"Fifteen Seconds"
The sky was just starting to turn pink as McGee crossed over the West Virginia border. They had been driving all night to get to the hospital so Leah could be with Tony. She had insisted on going that night and Tim couldn't say no to her. Besides, he was scared that Tony was going to die... he did die... for fifteen seconds according to Gibbs.
Glancing at Leah, Tim thought about this. For fifteen seconds Tony had been dead, Leah had been a widow and Jack had been fatherless. He had been assured that Tony was stable, even if his condition was still critical. Anything could still go wrong; Leah could still end up a widow and a single mother. "Gibbs... said he found a photograph of you and Jack in Tony's pocket."
Leah, weary eyed, looked at him. "He carries one in his wallet."
Tim swallowed the bile in his throat. "Looks like this one was his lifeline."
"Gibbs told me he wouldn't leave us without a fight," Leah muttered.
"He put up a fight, Leah," Tim told her. "He fled a shack, injured, so he could get home to you."
She let a single tear roll down her cheek. Leah knew that Tony needed to continue that fight. "I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't come home, Tim."
He physically hurt from the anguish that washed through him. Tim sighed. "He's coming home."
Leah blinked back her tears and wiped away the ones that managed to escape. She felt like she was lost and trapped in the dark forest that was rushing passed her window. Tony had a long way to go before he could go home.
Gibbs stood outside the ICU room, watching as Tony breathed with the help of a ventilator. Where was that damn shrink when he really needed her? Taft had forced her into his life and so far Gibbs had not seen any reason to open up to her. However, right now watching as Tony fought for his life, Gibbs needed guidance. He could never recall feeling the active need to find someone else to guide him. The guiding, that had always been his job.
He wasn't doing a very good job right now. Agents were still getting hurt. People were still dying around him. It was just better to shut the world down, push everyone that he cared about away. He was failing at that as well, because damnit, Jackson DiNozzo had been born and he had fallen in love with that little boy.
For fifteen seconds that little boy had lost his father. Gibbs had watched as Tony stopped breathing, as the younger man's heart stopped. The SFA had been brought back by a determined EMT that was not going to let his patient die.
Tony had to be given some credit in the fight for his life. He had more to live for these days. Leah, Jack, the promise of a wonderful future. Three years ago when the younger man had come back from Israel this kind of life seemed out of his reach. Gibbs had pushed Tony then, pushed him to change his life like Ziva had. As he watched the changes taking place in Tony his heart began to break. Tony no longer needed him. He was sure of himself, he was loved by a wonderful woman and a son. Tony had finally found everything he was looking for... Gibbs had done his part.
It was getting time to let go of Tony. Perhaps push Tony out of the nest of the MCRT and fly on his own. He'd shown this year that he was capable. Tony seemed determined to keep his feet firmly planted in Washington. Now, with Tony's recent brush with death, Gibbs wondered if Tony would walk away from law enforcement all together.
Gibbs couldn't ask him to stay. Especially since it was for selfish reasons. Right now, he was focused on getting the senior field agent back to Washington alive.
Tobias had promised to bring in the one responsible for hurting Tony, for killing a local cop. For the time being, it was a waiting game.
He had never been good with waiting games. Gibbs was a man of action. Which, being sidelined for the previous summer, constantly wondering what was going on with his team, had been hard for him. He knew that Tony was doing a good job. He knew that McGee and Bishop would be watched out for. So, he'd kept his distance. Until he couldn't any longer and found DiNozzo no where to be found.
Brow furrowing, Gibbs was still surprised how upset he had been when Tony wasn't there in that bullpen that morning. Finding out that he was jetting all over the world trying to find the man responsible for the Calling had jarred him. When had Tony become him? Lusting for blood and revenge? He never wanted that for his senior field agent... don't be me.
"DiNozzo, you never could really listen to me, could you," Gibbs muttered.
Similar paths had led them here. Some of the path was a direct parallel. Tony had been stabbed in the knee; Gibbs had been shot. Tony had taken a bullet to his chest; Gibbs had taken an exploding bullet... where their paths diverged was that Tony was not alone. He had Leah to help him, to pull him through and help him heal. Gibbs had been alone...regardless of Taft showing up to play chess or to talk with him.
Gibbs would have much preferred to have a Leah in his life. He would have much preferred to have Shannon and Kelly. The team... they were starting to become no longer enough for him. And it seemed the closer he got to them, the more pain they suffered. It was best the way things were now. At a distance, at all times.
Off a ways down the hall he hard the elevator arrive. Gibbs glanced up and saw Leah. Two pairs of blue eyes met, and two people realized at the same time, that fifteen seconds was all that had stood between them meeting here at the ICU than meeting at the morgue.