Fluffy...oh so fluffy...

Three months later.

If You Go Away

If you go away, as I know you must
they'll be nothing left, in the world to trust
Just an empty room full of empty space
Like the empty look I see on your face
And I tell you now, as you turn to go
I'll be dying slowly till your next hello
If you go away, If you go away, If you go away...

But if you stay, I'll make you a night
like no night has been, or will be again
I'll sail on your smile, I'll ride on your touch
I'll talk to your eyes, that I love so much
Then if you go, I'll understand
Leave me just enough love to hold in my hand...

Sung by Dusty Springfield; Songwriter: Jacques Brel, "If You Go Away" lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., CARLIN AMERICA INC.

"Huh?" Daryl grunted as he felt the insistent—thump—against his hand. Still half asleep and disoriented, he spread out the fingers of that same hand, feeling the rock solid swell of Carol's abdomen against it over her pajamas and then—thump—it came again.

"He's lively tonight." Carol said sleepily, putting her hand over his.

At six months along the child was moving regularly; sometimes it felt like it was doing somersaults in there or using her organs as punching bags. She was only comfortable sleeping on her side now and Daryl liked to spoon in behind her, holding her protectively, his front to her back.

He'd stayed in her bed, to sleep, every night since he'd returned to it three months ago. At first he'd sometimes awoken with nightmares, allowing her to soothe him back to sleep or sit up and read to him if he was truly unable to find any rest. Carol's duties had been lessened as the pregnancy progressed so those nights when she needed to stay up with him, she was able to sleep in the morning or take an afternoon nap.

Daryl was constantly on her to eat more, as per Dr. Yang's orders, but she was still underweight. The need for naps and the reduced schedule frustrated her to no end. The baby was sapping her strength and there was nothing she could do about it. She didn't remember being this tired constantly with Sophia, but she'd been two decades younger at the time.

The renewed comfort Daryl had around her now was the saving grace of the situation. Spending so much time with her, caring for her, pampering her, had brought out that softer side of Daryl she'd seen him capable of before. During his search for Sophia was when she'd first felt it, his voice gentler, his constant gaze on her, the gift of the Cherokee Rose, holding her at the barn and sitting with her afterwards had all been something new for them both.

It was also tempered with flashes of anger: the stables when she'd stopped him trying to ready a horse to resume his search after being both stabbed and shot, the tirade when she'd sought him out at his new campsite the night after the walker that had been her daughter was put down, showed his defenses were capable of slamming back up just as quickly.

They had continued their regular sessions with Claire, who was a busy woman these days. She worked with many of the new arrivals to help them acclimate to living in a community again if they had been "out there" on the road any length of time. Others, especially those who had been captives like Brianna, Riley, Daryl and Aaron were also her patients.

Brianna's erratic behavior and denial of reality continued and had been a challenge to find something to keep her occupied and away from both Carol and Daryl. Before the Turn she had been a hair stylist, so she had initially been put to work giving haircuts to anyone who requested one, but she had used the opportunity at one on one interaction to continue her gossipy rants about how Carol and her baby had destroyed Daryl's chance at happiness.

The solution to this had been when Riley volunteered to be shampoo girl, accompanying her sister where ever she went. It was a huge step for the younger girl to go out amongst people she didn't know, but she had been slowly making progress with Claire's counsel and her new friendships.

She was also fiercely protective of Carol, who had taken Riley under her wing at the house, teaching her cooking and child care skills so she could help with the baby when the time came.

Daryl had been leery of this last until Carol quietly explained that the household already had one infant and if for whatever reason she wasn't there to raise their child she wanted him to have well prepared help.

Carol saw his deep worry about her and the child, though he hid it behind gruffness whenever she caught him at it. They discussed it with Claire and had fought over the question at the root of their last session. Erin wanted them to decide, before she went into labor, if there was a problem and therefore a choice, who was she supposed to save, Carol or the baby?

For Carol the children always came first. She didn't want to go on if it meant the death of another child.

For Daryl there was no choice. She was his life.

They had a one month deadline within which to decide.

In the middle of the night Daryl nuzzled in to her nape, kissing her there. He had just started doing that. The bigger she got, the more his touches had started to slowly and subtly change. He seemed to like having his arms around her, holding her at night like a human comforter, feeling the baby's movements. The kisses had been slower to return.

She knew he still worried about having flashbacks that could turn violent and was afraid that kissing might trigger them. Carol mourned their loss almost more than she missed the feel of him inside her. The love he'd shown her had started with his kiss that night at Aaron and Eric's; she missed his kisses. Kisses meant he saw her as more than the best friend who was also carrying his child.

"I don't have to go." Daryl said, resting his chin on her shoulder after the baby's restlessness had woken him. He had worked both arms around her, holding her just under her breasts and over her belly.

"You're going stir crazy, I can feel it." Carol told him. "It's a short run. You both need to go back out there—prove to yourselves that you can."

He and Aaron hadn't been back outside the walls since they'd returned from the Wolves. Recruitment hadn't been needed in recent months and Glenn had all the bases covered on supply runs. His teams needed a break though and Daryl was one of the best outside the wall people they had. Physically he felt he was back close to 100% and had told Claire he could handle it.

One of the women who had come in from Bethesda, Jessica, had worked as a clerk at the big Naval hospital there and said it was a goldmine for medical supplies. They'd been planning the run—one day up and one day back—for several months and now that the weather was good and the roads passable, it was time.

The crew would include Aaron, Daryl, Michonne, Morgan and the clerk, and they would take a four-wheel drive king cab pick-up that one of the recent arrivals had come in with and Daryl's bike so he could scout ahead.

"I want you to stay with Eric when I go." Daryl said, "I know he'll take care of you right." Rick was too busy to give her the one on one care she needed if she stayed here. She and Sam were set to bunk with Eric overnight while he was gone.

"And you won't get jealous if I need him to cuddle me at night?" Carol teased, but she wasn't really sure if she'd be able to sleep without him here holding her.

"Stop." Daryl gently scolded, kissing her nape and she shivered.

Carol shifted more onto her back so she could look up at him. As he stared back at her, his eyes flicked down to her lips and then back up to her eyes before slowly leaning forward to brush her mouth with his. Carol closed her eyes, afraid to expect more, but then his lips touched hers again, more firmly this time and she started kissing him back. She lifted her hands to lightly tangle her fingers in his hair, but when she opened her mouth and licked at his lower lip he abruptly pulled back, panting and trembling.

"I'm sorry," Daryl said after a minute or two, unsure if he was apologizing for the kisses or for pulling away.

"That was nice." Carol whispered, lying completely still while Daryl struggled to stay, his eyes tightly shut, chewing on the inside of his lips. She began carefully running her fingers through his hair, brushing it back behind his ears, just enjoying the freedom to touch him, combing its shaggy length between her fingers over and over, her intent to relax him so he could go back to sleep. She was very surprised when it had the opposite reaction.

Daryl had been lying half against her during the kissing, his front tight to her side, so when she felt the hardness press into her hip she froze, her hand fisting closed in his hair. In all the nights since he'd returned from the Wolves that hadn't happened. They had been physically close, their connection warm and comfortable, but not sexual in any real way.

Unsure of what to do, she watched his face. A blush crept up his neck and he made a little sound, half sigh, half whimper, biting his lower lip. He pushed his head into her hand, silently asking her to resume playing with his hair and so she did, tugging a little more firmly at it, and he made that sound again.

Daryl dropped his head to the space between her neck and shoulder. Carol felt his breath hot on the bare skin there, and then his lips were there, kissing her tenderly just above her collar bone before his mouth began gently sucking down.

Next his hand found hers; drawing it down from his hair to his chest so she could feel the rapid erratic beat of his heart through his ribbed tank. She made no attempt to caress, just let him guide her hand where he wanted it.

His breathing was faster as he continued lowering her hand, brushing against his abs and then lifting it to cup his erection through his flannel sleep pants. His hand stayed over top of hers, holding it steady and still.

Carol felt his pulse, strong and rapid in the thickness she held and wrapped her fingers more firmly around the shaft covered in the soft cloth.

Daryl moaned against her neck and his hand closed more tightly over hers, holding it still. Then ever so slowly, he began a slight rock of his hips, pumping himself into her grip still encased by his big hand. He kissed and licked at her neck, his hips jerking up into her hand faster and faster until he suddenly shuddered and bit down, muffling his cry against her neck; her hand feeling the rhythmic surge of power as his cock pulsed wet heat.

When she gently tried to release her grip on him, he kept his hand tightly around hers, holding it in place and breathing hard against her neck.

"You...?" Daryl asked softly, sounding guilty.

"I'm fine." Carol assured him, thinking she'd have a hell of a hicky and some very private laundry to do for him in the morning...But she was happy he'd been able to find release and that she could help him, that he'd wanted her to help him.

Daryl lifted his head so he could see her face, testing the truth of what she said. When he saw only calm contentment he sighed in relief and kissed her, sweetly and lingeringly before resting his head on her shoulder.

"Next time you." Daryl said in sleepy promise, making her chuckle.

They fell back asleep like that, her hand still holding him; the evidence of his orgasm, the first he'd had since he'd returned, soaking the front of his flannels and up onto his belly.

"So it was over the clothes action." Erin asked, swiping the electronic thermometer over Carol's forehead and checking the reading.

"Erin." Carol frowned. "I came in for a check-up not the third degree."

"You asked me how late into pregnancy it was all right to have sexual contact; I was just trying to assess the situation." Erin replied mildly. "After Daryl's injuries I wasn't sure if an erection and completion was physically possible for him, so I asked what prompted your question."

"You said—Claire said before—that there was nothing wrong with him, that he was fully recovered." Carol said in confusion, sure that's what she had been told.

"He had full urinary and bowel control back, that often means sexual function is fine as well, but I couldn't be 100% sure. Sometimes these things are more psychological than physical or a combination of the two." Erin shrugged. "It just takes time to see what pans out."

Carol stared at her, shaking her head.

"After what they did to him..." Erin said gently, putting her hand on Carol's forearm, "...it's a testament to how much he loves you, Carol that he even wants to try." she smiled at the other woman and squeezed her arm, released it and got out the blood pressure cuff.

After the pressure and pulse readings, Erin used her stethoscope, reaching under Carol's sweater to check her heart and lungs and then had her lie down so she could listen for the fetal heart beat.

"We wear clothes to bed...the house is chilly...and he's more comfortable that way, better about being close if it's not skin to skin." Carol explained, taking up the earlier part of the conversation.

"Riley said they stripped them, nothing to cover up or hide behind. Totally vulnerable to their captor's gaze and touches...beatings...totally at their mercy, or lack of it..." Erin said, grimacing and nodding her head, pausing to look down at Carol before continuing.

"I let him be in control." Carol said. It had felt like the right thing to do, to give him back what he hadn't had. Daryl had wanted her touch, her hand on him, but he had needed to be the one in charge of everything that happened between them.

"Sounds like that worked out okay." Erin said with a small smile. "And if things progress any further I understand you want to know what to expect."

"My husband never touched me—when I was pregnant with my daughter." Carol told her. "But I still had...urges...so I took care of them myself."

"That's a good place to start, if and when he's ready to reciprocate, toys might make it easier for him." Erin nodded. "That reminds me; make sure we have all sizes of batteries high on the list for the run tomorrow."

"Erin!" Carol laughed, but blushed. During her pregnancy was when she had sent away for her first vibrator, having it delivered to a PO Box and hiding it under a floorboard in the guest room, knowing if Ed ever found it she'd pay dearly, but it had been worth it, a secret rebellion that made every time she used it twice as satisfying.

"Lie still and stop giggling." Erin ordered with a smile and then they heard the door open.

"Thought you weren't startin' till ten." Daryl said, looking cross, his mouth turned down. He'd been working on tuning up the truck and bike before the run, but must've gone home to clean up a bit before coming to the Clinic. There were some grease stains on his pants, but his bare arms and hands were clean and his hair was damp around his face, the long sides pushed back behind his ears.

"I started when she got here." Erin shrugged.

"I woke up at nine and took a shower—I only got here ten minutes ago." Carol told him placatingly. She had come early on purpose, wanting to talk to Erin before Daryl arrived.

"Just about to listen in on what Junior is up to—you didn't miss your turn." Erin said, motioning him forward as she lifted Carol's turtleneck sweater to expose her belly and then inserted the stethoscope ear pieces into her ears and held the other end to Carol's bare abdomen.

That made Daryl breathe easier and give one of his half smiles. That was his favorite part of these check-ups, hearing that fast pitter-pat in concert with Carol's own steady heartbeat.

"Oop!" Erin exclaimed and Daryl looked at her in alarm. She gently took his hand and before he could protest placed it over where she had just had the stethoscope—skin on skin—and he felt the sharp kick against his palm.

"Hey!" Daryl exclaimed and gave a little laugh, putting both hands on her to try and catch another movement. "Thought he only did that at night!"

"He does it all day long." Carol grumbled, "Uses my insides like a trampoline."

"So we're calling it he?" Erin asked, taking off the stethoscope and handing it to Daryl who reluctantly lifted his hands away so he could use both to put the device on.

"This month. Next month it's a she. Trying it out to see how it sounds." Carol told her.

Erin helped Daryl place the stethoscope so he could hear the heartbeat and then put the earpieces on Carol so she could do the same.

"He's a little small still, but his heart rate and position are good. I'll be happier to get a closer look if they bring me back a working sonogram machine from Bethesda. You need more vitamins yet?" Erin asked Carol.

"Have enough through the end of the month—they're on the list too." Daryl replied."Anything else we need to be on the lookout for special?"

"Any OB/GYN kits, general surgical kits, intubation kit, anesthesia—all the stuff on the list is important, Daryl." Erin said. If Carol did have trouble delivering any or all of that could be the difference between Lori's outcome and Felicia's.

Daryl nodded, looking both troubled and determined.

"How's the leg?" Erin asked him, referencing the first injury she'd ever seen him for, the day she arrived.

"Still makes it all the way to the ground every morning." Daryl shrugged. It was just one of many aches and pains he'd learned to live with.

Carol reached out, asking for help sitting up and he quickly moved closer, taking her hand and putting his other arm around her back. She made a frustrated noise, trying to pull her sweater back down one handed and he helped her with that too, making a little scolding grunt until she let him do it and then put her hand over his in thanks.

Watching them, Erin smiled. They completed each other so effortlessly she doubted they even realized it.

"I need to check everyone out who's going on the run tomorrow—everything else in working order?" Erin asked, motioning for him to hop up on the examining table beside Carol, who gave the doctor a warning glance, pursing her lips at the other woman.

"Seems to be." Daryl said, deadpan, but licking his lips as if they'd suddenly gone dry.

"Sleeping better?" the doctor asked, motioning for him to hold back his hair so she could take his temperature with a swipe to his forehead.

Daryl glanced over at Carol who had a benign look of innocence on her face.

"Then I was?" Daryl asked, and then answered his own question, "Yeah."

"Good." Erin nodded and wrapped the blood pressure cuff on his bicep, asking no more questions as she checked his pulse, heart and lungs; even got out her little rubber hammer and did reflex tests.

"Anything else?" Daryl asked.

"Nope—you're both good to go." Erin said.

Daryl jumped down off the table and turned back to help Carol down.

"See you at the meeting later?" Erin asked. There was a Council meeting later today to finalize the plans for the run and contingencies.

"I hope I don't fall asleep in the middle of it again," Carol said with a chagrined look. She'd never live that one down.

It had happened two weeks ago. To their credit at the time everyone just kept talking, albeit in softer voices, and let her go on sleeping while they finished the business of the day. Maggie woke her up afterwards, handing her a dishtowel to wipe the drool off her chin and the table.

"Take a nap after lunch—Daryl will come for you, won't you, Daryl?" Erin said helpfully.

"Huh?" Daryl asked, his chin drawing back and eyebrows going up, unsure if he'd heard her right.

"You'll wake me up and get me to the meeting on time." Carol said, side-eyeing Erin and taking Daryl's hand to get him away from Yang and her double-entendres.

"Sure—yeah—I will." Daryl said, nodding his head at both women.

"Oh—all nine months, Carol." Erin called after them, "In answer to your earlier question."

"What does she mea-?" Daryl started to ask, but Carol pulled him through the door.

Everyone knows you wear a turtleneck to hide a hicky, right?

Thanks for reading!