Chapter 2

Chakotay sat perfectly still as he felt Kathryn's hand lock with his. All doubts of her feelings for him fled his mind, chased out by the lightning bolt of her touch. He felt the pressure of her fingers increase, her palm lining up with his. Her hands were small and delicate, but oh, so strong! He had felt those hands clasp his shoulder or pat his arm in friendship, as many of the crew had. Kathryn was a tactile person and often expressed her support through brief gestures. How many times had he stolen a glance at…

The voice through Kathryn's com badge startled both of them. Kathryn snatched her hand back instinctually, her years of training and discipline snapping her to attention. Spine ramrod straight, shoulders squared, jaw clenched, she responded to the call from the bridge.

"What is it, Mr. Kim?"

"Captain, engineering is reporting a minor problem with a gel pack causing power fluctuations on Deck 7. Repairs are underway, but we will need to reroute emergency power briefly."

"Proceed," Kathryn instructed him. She glanced quickly at Chakotay and spoke again. "And, Mr. Kim. Please route all further communication to Commander Tuvok until 0600 hours."

"Captain?" The surprise was evident in the ensign's voice.

Her request was highly unusual, and Kathryn knew her explanation had better be a good one. In her best command do-it voice, she replied, "Mr. Kim – I have very recently been in a shuttle crash, sustained severe neural trauma, and cheated death at the hands of some alien afterlife gatekeeper. I have decided to follow the Doctor's orders, this time, and take it easy for a few hours."

"Of course, Captain." Kim's sheepish reply indicated she had at least been believable.

"I will see you on the bridge at 0700," Kathryn stated. She paused for a moment before continuing her communications. "Janeway to Tuvok."

"I am here, Captain," Tuvok answered.

"Mr. Tuvok, I have instructed the bridge to route all further communications to you for the evening."

"A wise decision, Captain, considering your recent ordeal," Tuvok stated. "Long range sensors have revealed nothing out of the ordinary. At this time, I do not foresee any difficulties that would require your attention. I will, of course, inform you should any emergency arise."

"Thank you, Mr. Tuvok. Janeway out."

Kathryn began to visibly relax, but then tensed abruptly again. Chakotay had moved away from her slightly while she was in communication with the bridge. He had also slipped back into "Commander" mode and was waiting for her lead. Kathryn knew that if she was going to have this night go the way she wished it to, she would have to make the first move.

She hesitated, afraid that she might make that move and be rebuffed. What would she do if he didn't want her? Could she face him again if she crossed that line only to find him unwilling to cross it with her? Perhaps living her own demise was not the worst thing that would happen to her this day.

Chakotay watched her hesitation and something else – fear? – play across her face. She was Kathryn again, and he let his Commander façade slip away. He moved closer to her, picked up her hand in his, and wound his fingers through hers. "Is this where we were?" he quietly asked.

Kathryn's relief was evident and she smiled at him. "Yes, we were, weren't we?" His grip lent her the strength she needed to give her last command of the night. Staring into his eyes, she proceeded. "Computer, seal Holodeck 2 to all crew members except myself and Commander Chakotay. Authorization Janeway-beta-four."

"Holodeck 2 has been sealed."

It is done, Kathryn thought to herself. Whatever was about to happen, there was no turning back.

Chakotay's eyes widened when she sealed the doors. He had not wanted to let himself believe she was moving into another area of their relationship. He had dreamed of it for so long, and held it at bay for so long, that his mind was still trying to process the changes in her. His desire did not take long to fully surface, though, and his carefully constructed walls crumbled to dust. He wanted to kiss her; needed to kiss her, to touch her, to feel her, to claim her.

He leaned slowly across the small space separating them, allowing Kathryn time to move away if she chose to. Please Gods, don't let her move away! His left hand still entwined with hers, he touched her cheek with his right hand and slid his fingers under her ear to the back of her neck. He pulled her to him and softly touched his lips to hers. She pressed into him gently then broke the contact. She hovered there for a microsecond before touching his lips with hers again, this time lingering in a longer, but still chaste, kiss.

She broke off again, and her gaze dropped to the space between them. She needed to explain to him what her actions meant. She owed him that much, to let him know that she had no idea if this was a one-night concession or leading to something more permanent. "Chakotay," she whispered. "I don't know… If we do this… I'm not sure…" She sighed heavily.

He gently placed his finger over her lips. "Shhh. I know."

She glanced up at him and asked softly, "You know what?"

"I know you are struggling with what is happening here. I know you are allowing yourself something if only for a brief moment. I know that tomorrow morning at 0600 hours we will be once again Captain and Commander. I know you and that we will always be Captain and Commander above all else. I also know that I am okay with that. Are you?"

Kathryn's eyes lit up and she nodded her head, her hair falling over one shoulder. "You do know me, don't you?"

"I want to know you more," he told her, his voice growing husky with his need. Kathryn dropped his hand, rose up onto her knees, and wrapped her arms around his neck. He grabbed her waist and stole a glance at her full breasts. He longed to lower his head and press tiny kisses down the cleavage hovering just under his chin. But no, too soon. He lifted his chin instead, watching her bend down to him, her long tresses sliding over him.

This time, she put her full weight into pressing her soft mouth to his. Her lips parted slightly and he darted the tip of his tongue between them. He found her tongue with his and slowly circled it. Over and over again he dove into the heat of her mouth until neither of them could breathe. They broke away, both of them gasping heavily, her breasts rising and falling against him, his hands sliding from her waist to the small of her back, pulling her to him even tighter.

It was only a kiss, and already Chakotay could feel the heat in his manhood growing urgent. He looked into her face and nearly lost it. Kathryn's eyes had darkened to a deep blue sea, her cheeks flushed. He knew his own hunger was readily evident to her, as well. He felt her body lowering as she straddled her legs over his, settling into his lap. There was no way to hide his hardness with her sitting over him like that. He felt her brush against him, pause, and then thrust ever so lightly. He sucked in his breath sharply as he heard a soft moan escape her throat. "Kathryn…"

She covered his mouth with hers, this time using her tongue to tease him, circling his lips before thrusting hard between his teeth. She began to rock in his lap, pushing her heat against his in an urgent dance of desires too long denied. He was lost to her, the fire engulfing his body and a sweet tingling running from his finger tips to his toes. Without thinking, he used his grip around her to bring her sharply against him once, then again, and again. Oh Gods, he was losing control!

He pulled his lips from hers and gasped. "Kathryn, wait!" He gripped her hips and pushed against her. It took a moment for his words and the abrupt end of the kiss to register. She stilled suddenly and the fear overtook her again.

"I'm sorry," she panted, shaking her head. "I shouldn't have…"

"No, Kathryn. It's not that. I…" What could he say? "I couldn't… too close…" He fumbled over the words, his voice ragged, embarrassment at his lack of control sending a blush through him. She saw his neck redden and finally understood.

"Oh," she giggled. He looked at her and she flashed him a grin. She teased him, raking her eyes slowly down his body to the hardness straining against his pants, then back up to his face again. Her voice deepened. "I see."

He smiled up at her, amused by her play. "Kathryn, it has been so long. I have wanted this, us, to happen for so long. Now that we are here together like this, my tenuous control is gone. Gods, Kathryn, I need you so badly!"

She moved her feet under her and slowly stood. It was torturous for her, too. She felt as if one touch, just one simple play against her white heat, would send her over the edge. It was all she could do not to take his hand and guide him there. Instead, she stepped to the railing of the small boat and looked at the moonlight on the water. "Let's go for a swim!" She twirled back around to him and lifted her eyebrow playfully, challenging him with hands on hips.

He laughed at her and started to rise. The uncomfortable pressure across his lower stomach reminded him of his predicament. He couldn't just stand up and face her! He stopped in a crouch and wondered what to do now.

Kathryn stepped back to him, her hips swaying in the white slacks, her breasts straining against the silky material of her top. Hers was a quiet sensuality. Most of the time, she appeared larger than life, her iron will, disciplined command, and sharp mind filling a room with her presence. In brief moments, though, he caught small glimpses of the Kathryn that made his breath stop in his throat. A tilt of her head, a smile that lit up her face, a playful twinkle in her eye – she would suddenly transform into the most beautiful woman in the world. Chakotay was powerless against those tiny jolts that quickened him. Those were the moments that kept him bound to her and trapped his heart.

She slid her hands across his shoulders, lightly down his arms, and took his hands in hers. She tugged upward and he finally stood, his inhibitions slipping away. "I didn't bring swim shorts," he told her, "or a change of clothes."

She let his hands drop and leaned to whisper in his ear, her voice a throaty purr, "Neither did I." She began unbuttoning his shirt, letting her fingertips brush lightly against his heated skin. When she undid the last one, she placed both palms on him and slid them across his chest, guiding the shirt off his shoulders to slip down his arms to the deck.

She kissed him again, ever so softly, and slowly pulled the hem of her own blouse from the confines of her waistband. Chakotay reached out and replaced her hands with his. He wanted to undress her, to feel the silk of her shirt and of the skin underneath it. He raised the material higher and higher until the mounds of her breasts were free. He couldn't bear it any longer. He jerked the blouse over her head, away from her arms, and tossed it to the side. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, his lips finding the line between her skin and the lace of her camisole. He traced that line with a long, slow slide of his tongue until he felt the tiny goose bumps rise on her pale flesh. Satisfied with that one, he moved to the other breast and repeated his ministrations.

Kathryn leaned her head back as she felt his mouth on her skin. She sucked in her breath, pushing her breasts into his tongue as her hands tangled in his hair. Electric tingles ran through and over her entire body. When she couldn't stand it anymore, she reached for the straps of her camisole to pull it off. Chakotay stopped her with his hands. He licked a slow line up her breast bone, along the curve of her neck, and to her earlobe. He slowly turned her around until her back was to him. Only then did he gather the lacy material in his hands and slowly pull it over her head to land in a pile with her shirt.

He was tall enough that he could see over her shoulder to the tops of her breasts, the hardened nipples just visible to him. He wrapped his arms around her again, cupping a hand around each mound of flesh, lightly pinching the nipples between his fingers. He pulled her against him, wanting to feel her bare back against his skin. She let out a small whimper and reached back over her head. Her hands found his head and pulled it down to her neck. Chakotay sucked in the soft flesh below her ear and darted the tip of his tongue across the sensitive spot. He alternately stroked and pinched her nipples, grasping and squeezing her fullness.

With one hand, Kathryn held his head to that place under her earlobe that drove her wild, her fingers massaging through his hair. The other hand dropped to the side and found the strong muscle of his thigh tensed and powerful as she leaned against him. She realized that in those few stolen moments when she allowed herself to think of him, especially since leaving New Earth, she had never come close the white heat that consumed her now. There had always been a lingering sadness to those thoughts. They were images of what might have been, and what had been left behind, rather than what could be. Now that sadness was gone and nothing remained but an ache at the center of her being that cried out for him to fill it.

"Ahh!" The moan escaped her at the same time she used the arm around Chakotay's thigh to thrust him against her. Her hips writhed in small circles, feeling the heat from his bare chest against the skin of her back, the hardness still trapped in his pants teasing her. Now she was the one fighting for control. Every nerve in her body was alive and straining to release the fire between her legs.

She felt his fingers slip from one of her breasts and slide under the band of her slacks. "Chakotay!" she cried. Her hand untangled from his hair and grabbed at his, stopping him just above the little center that would send her over the edge. "Please, Chakotay," she whimpered to him.

He gave one more, tiny flick of his tongue on her throat and then blew gently into her ear. "Let go, Kathryn," he growled softly in her ear. "Let it go." His hand was still poised just above her heat, and he pushed gently against her.

Her voice shook and he felt a tremor run through her body. "I want to. Oh, how I want to," she moaned.

"It's okay," he whispered, his hot breath playing softly over her ear. He felt her rock back against him again, rubbing her body along his. She still held his hand back, though, that last thread of her strength clinging to sanity. He placed his other hand over hers and pulled it away. He guided it behind it her and between their bodies until he felt her fingers brush against the hardness in his pants. She gasped as she gripped him, feeling his desire strain against her touch. She lightly scratched her fingernails over the material, following the line to his tip then back down the shaft. The tiny vibrations were nearly his own undoing and he pinned her hand between them, feeling her fingers squeeze around him.

Kathryn felt his desire against her hand and knew she had never wanted anyone more than she wanted him right now. They were both too far gone, though. She wanted their lovemaking to be slow, exploring each other and the feelings they had been denying themselves for so long. But if she took him in her now, it would be only a frenzied moment before they both lost control. She needed release now and could feel that he did, too. Only then would they be free to truly share in each other. She lay her head back against his shoulder and tilted her hips, inviting him to find her.

She felt his hand gently slide lower, his fingers working under the lace of her panties. He ran his hand along the length of her opening, feeling her wetness. His own sex jumped in her palm and she slowly squeezed and released him through the material. He slipped a finger inside her, feeling how tight she was. He slid into her as far as he could once, then again, and then traced the line of her back up to the tiny button. He barely touched it and she nearly crumpled in his arms. He set his legs and took her weight against him, then lightly brushed her center again.

"Yes," she hissed. Her hips thrust upward, her eyes squeezed shut, and she gave herself completely to him. He stroked her sex, quickening his fingers and using the small sounds escaping her throat to guide him. He entered her again and pushed upward, pressing against the soft tissue just inside her opening. She rode his hand and whimpered her need to him. He felt her tightening around his fingers and knew she was close. Once more, he slid his fingers from her and up to her button. "Ahh!" Her voice was urgent, sharp, and he stroked her faster and faster.

"Let go, Kathryn. For me," he groaned. He felt every muscle in her frame tighten, her fingers squeezing around his shaft, her back arching, her head pushing into his chest. Suddenly, she shuddered against him and her body convulsed, her voice crying out, "Oh, Chakotay!" He thrust two fingers inside her and held them there, feeling her climax ripple around them over and over again. He remained that way, holding her up in his strong arms until her trembling slowed and she took some of her weight back on her own legs.

She gently eased his hand from her slacks and turned in his arms. She had never experienced a release so powerful and her head still reeled, bringing tears to her eyes. She gazed up at him and wanted to tell him, but all she could do was whisper his name. "Chakotay."