It was a lie, yes. But here's why it wasn't so bad, reasoned Will.

Because if Will had told Sonny that he was Senior at Salem High, like he was, then that's who he would have to continue to be, see? It's that Will who lives a lie everyday. Pretending to be someone he is not. Pretending with T and Gabi and everyone in their group that he's just as regular as they are. That Will is always being this other person who is trying to fit in.

College Will, a freshmen at a college, in Southern—he had borrowed that from T's lie—would finally be the true version of himself. That Will would be open and honest about who he was. And maybe even find people okay with that.

Yep. Now, was a good time to practice being College Will: open, out, honest.

Sonny pulled out two folding lawn chairs that had been in the back corner and set them down on the uneven laundry room surface and he and Will sat down across from one another. They each popped the caps off the beers and drank.

The conversation started easy , light and natural, Will found much to his surprise. Nervousness was quickly replaced with laughing. Sonny and Will found themselves grinning quite a bit, talking about things like favorite TV shows and the Chicago Cubs-Will was very superstitious and shared with Sonny his theory about how they could finally break the goat curse. They talked about how they hate when people double dip and about their favorite bands.

"Asteroid Crush? You know them?" Will exclaimed.

""Know them? I love them! I saw them live, at The Metro last December!"

"Get out, get out. Me, too," said Will "Can you believe we were both there! I, uh…I felt like…"

"What?"

Will felt goosebumps, up and down his arms. "I dragged my friend Gabi, but she hated them. I don't know anyone at school who likes them. I…" He couldn't finish his words, the thoughts suddenly become too laden with other things. How misunderstood and alone he felt, sometimes.

Sonny just smiled at him, and now Will was lost looking into his gorgeous brown eyes. Sonny didn't make him finish the sentence.

They drank more. They talked more.

Sonny talked about some traveling he had done on his last spring break—and how he wanted to do more during the summer.

Will told Sonny some of his stories about working at The Pub. "The guy who delivers the bread in the morning talks to the bread. I'm not even kidding. He's like, 'Here, you go buns, time to be somebody's dinner, time to fulfill your destiny.'"

"What's wrong with that," asked Sonny, straight-faced. "I believe we all have a destiny."

"Ohhh, okay. Yep, even the buns."

"And the Rye bread," said Sonny.

"Not pumpernickel."

"Even pumpernickel. Especially pumpernickel."

Sonny and Will both got up to get another drink from the fridge, Sonny casually putting his hand on Will's shoulder as they reached it. It felt so good there, Will thought. His touch alone was enough to make Will feel unsteady on his feet. Will looked up at Sonny and fought the urge to push the stray hair off Sonny's face.

"How'd you guys get here from Southern? You staying here all weekend?"

Will paused. "Took a train," (true, from Salem, not the college, but okay) "And we're taking one back tomorrow, so just the one night. "

"Oh," said Sonny. "Just one night."

Sonny didn't move, and Will suddenly could feel the tension in the air. The moment grew heavy with anticipation, and Will felt his breath catch. Sonny said, "Then you should make the most of it."

Will gulped. "Got anything in mind?" Which, of course, as the words spilled out of his mouth, Will knew was an invitation. Even the tone, was there, willing Sonny to make a move. What am I doing? thought Will, almost in a panic. I have no idea what I am doing.

"I could suggest some things. I have some ideas," Sonny beamed, the smile, lighting his whole handsome face and he slowly leaned towards Will, his eyes glancing from Will's eyes to his lips.

Will's mouth hung open, surprised still from himself and what he had said. And his mouth was now empty of words. So empty. Waiting to be filled up, with an expert tongue, maybe.

Sonny came closer, closer still. Could Sonny hear his heart, it was beating so loud, Will wondered. It felt like a construction jackhammer in his chest.

"No."

"No?" asked Sonny, startled.

Will had shocked himself just as much by having said the word. Now he felt more confused than ever. It was too much.

Dodge. Run Away. Quick, diffuse the situation with talking, humor, anything.

"Uh, excuse me," said Will pulling back his head, and making a face.

Sonny stopped moving towards him, cocked his head, quizzically, his happy look fading fast.

"I'm, uh, reading this wrong…?" Sonny asked.

""What? What kind of guy do you think I am?" Will said faking concern. "Gees, kissing someone I just met. I..I , uh…I thought we went over this. I 'm a classy guy. I'm classier than that." Will mustered a smile. Words rearranged themselves in his head. I'm a guy who isn't ready. Why aren't I ready for you? For you, I should be ready.

"Oh," said Sonny. "Sorry 'bout that. I didn't mean to…I just only…"

"You…you can't kiss me, that's not…" The reason was escaping Will. Were they leaning towards each other again, or was that Will's imagination? Maybe the room was spinning. Maybe the beer buzz was becoming more and the drunk was starting to settle in?

"Original?" provided Sonny. "You like original, I remember. And what's more un-original and cliché than messing around with some guy you just met at a party. Got it. So you—you're not the kind of guy who just messes around? Does this with just anybody? You want a relationship, and you are for serious, and you never just kiss at a party, just for fun-" He seemed like he could have gone on for longer, finding a hundred ways to say it, but Will cut him off.

"No, I sure don't," said Will. "I do not just kiss guys at parties just for fun." Honest, but ultimately misleading at the same time, he thought.

Will watched Sonny closely and considered the times in gym class he wouldn't climb the rope ladder for fear of heights, or when his little brother Johnny beat him at Code of War. He had felt dumb at times, but never this dumb. All for telling Sonny not to kiss him.

Will gave a painful smirk and grabbed another beer. Maybe if he could just hang in there, thought Will. Maybe in a couple of hours, he would be able to let the alcohol lower his inhabitations? If only he could be brave enough. Maybe then he would be able to let his lips slide against Sonny's. And maybe Sonny would try to lick his way inside and Will's mouth would part open, wet, needy…

"I just realized, I better go back upstairs," Will said abruptly, trying to snap himself out of this line of thinking. "We've been down here a while, and I better go try to find my friends, before they ditch me, and I have no where to sleep tonight."

"Right," said Sonny, sighing. He took a beer for himself and began locking the fridge back up. With his back to Will, Will stood there, feeling helpless and clueless. He swallowed down hard, trying to ignore, the tears he could feel welling up, his eyes already stinging. He shook his head, desperately trying to get a hold of himself.

Sonny turned around and nodded. If he noticed that Will looked upset, he didn't let on. "I guess I better go see how the party is going, too. Help my roommates out with anything."

The thought of never seeing Sonny again felt like the onset of a panic attack. He blurted out, "Maybe…I don't know. Maybe I'll run into you later then?" Although, after turning him down did he have a right to try to see him again?

"Maybe," said Sonny. A polite smile. Not warm and inviting like before, thought Will with a stab of regret.

Will couldn't help think his chance with Sonny was over. Over before it ever really began. Boy, idiot, thought Will. Of course he feels like I've sent him mixed signals. And now I've convinced him I would never kiss at a party. I've told him I'm not a first-date kiss kind of guy? What the hell. And now Sonny probably felt stupid, he reasoned, and he's not going to try to kiss again later just to possibly be rejected all over again. Damn. Good? Damn.

They climbed the stairs and rejoined the chaos and mass of students (which, thankfully had died down some).

As they were about to part their separate ways into the house, Sonny gently grabbed his elbow and pulled him closer. "Will," he said, conspiratorially and leaned towards him.

Emotions surged inside Will. Thoughts sparked in his mind: Yes, ready or not, kiss me anyway. Please. Fuck it all. Oh God, please. Oh God, yes.

But Sonny spoke instead. "Don't go for the piñata," Sonny said. "Trust me on this."

Then he disappeared into the crowd.