Shawn woke up with Derek's arms wrapped around her and she couldn't help but think she was dreaming. She felt his arm tighten around her when she tried to move and was positive she was dreaming. She opened her eyes and looked over her shoulder to see that she wasnt dreaming and he was actually attached to her. Derek had his head resting on his bent arm, his face was buried in her hair, and his arm was tucked around her waist.

Shawn smiled and closed her eyes again. She let go of a contented sigh and relaxed into the feeling of being wrapped up in this arms. There was a sensation that she had been missing since the accident. The feeling of his warm breath on her neck, the feel of skin-to-skin contact, and the safety that came with being next to him. It was something she had gotten used to. But sadly, it was a form of contentment she would have to get used to no experiencing because he wasn't the same person, nor, from what she had been told my numerous doctors, he never would be. But she also held on to the hope that he could be.

She shifted onto her back and took his hand in her own and watched their hands and fingers entangle. That was also something she missed- just holding his hand. She missed the little things that defined their relationship. The way he looked at her with love, or the soft spoken kindness that was never lacking in his voice when they talked, or the way they could say everything they needed to say without uttering a single word.

Now, they barely looked at each other, and when they did, they were mere milliseconds of a second. And there was no room for love if he was barely home. She turned her head and watched him, hoping he would open his eyes and she would find the love she was looking for.

There was something off about his behavior in the last couple days, and you're probably wondering what else could possibly be wrong with him. He already lost his memory, right? What else could possibly be wrong with him? Of course something else could be wrong. Like explained before, he was never around and she never knew where the hell he was. Shawn was a worrier, and she wanted to know where he could have possibly been spending all that time.

She studied his face and noticed there a scar along his jaw. She had never noticed it before, maybe it was because he was always at least ten feet away from her, eh, you be the judge. But that's besides the point. She lifted her finger to his face and lightly grazed his jaw line, she then leaned up and kissed the scar.

She smiled when remembered country week on DWTS. There was some moments the camera don't catch and that week was full of them. She had injured her knee, again, and she thought she was done with her competition. But Derek made her feel better, he made her feel like a little kid, but he made her feel better. He made her show him the parts of her knee that hurt, and he kissed them to make them feel better. It had become their ritual, kissing each other's injuries.

There was a part of her that hoped that if she kissed him enough, he would be okay- they'd be okay. That wasn't a possibility, because they weren't just hurt, they were injured. Their relationship was injured, and there wasn't a bandaid or kiss in the world that could make that disappear. That's what killed her the most, knowing that she couldn't go back in time and change what happened to him.

For a while, she blamed it all on Sarah, but she knew that somethings could never be her fault. No matter how much she wanted. Then there was the little voice in her head screaming that it was all Sarah's fault and if she had just stayed gone and out of their lives, none of the pain she had been suffering for he past 2 1/2 weeks would have been experienced. And of course, Shawn battled with her conflicted feelings every day in the nursery.

Something about that nursery shut out the outside world and she could just relax in there. She would rock in the rocking chair and count how many times, their now named baby, Haley would kick her. It was still very foreign to her. Growing up, and being so involved in her sport, she had never thought about the possibility of children, but she was a kid who was invested in what was normal to her. She didnt have time to make those decisions and choices. But then she met Derek.

They met by accident really, kinda just bumped into each other when she was leaving rehearsal with Mark. They were introduced and she of course, made a fool of herself. It was the equivalent to a high school crush and that's all she thought it would be. It seemed implausible, he was in fact, a man, and she was a naive 17 year old teenager. It all changed when she tried her comeback and failed. He was there for her and they got really close. He was someone she could always talk to, and she considered him to be one of her best friends. Soon after, feelings grew deeper, and one thin lead to another, they got drunk. And here we are.

She looked back up at him again and felt tears sting her eyes. She found herself wondering how they had gotten so broken. They might not have been irreparable but, they were getting close. Whenever they spoke to each other, there was an underlying tension. And Shawn hated feeling and even seeing it. Tears dripped from her eyes and soaked into the pillow until she started sobbing. She felt Derek moving beside her but she didn't look up at him until he cupped her cheek and wiped away her tears. "What's wrong?"

She pulled away from him and wiped her tears, "this. I mean, what are we doing Derek? This isn't working anymore." She struggled to get up from her spot and Derek tried to help her, but she swatted his hand away. He looked at her and rubbed his eyes. "Seriously, babe, it's too early for this."

"Really? Because I wouldn't know now would I? It's seven in the morning. You're usually waltzing in right about now! So what are you usually doing this early in the morning?!" Shawn hollered. Derek yawned, "is that what this is about? Really!?"

"Yeah, really! Why can't you just sta- "

"because I don't know how too! I don't know how to be this person!" He hollered back and collapsed on to the bed. "This isn't something I can just get used to." Shawn opened her mouth to reply, but his phone started to buzz. She picked it up and her heart sank. She read the message out loud, "'Good morning Derek, when are you coming to pick me up? We're going to be late.' GUESS YOU'RE ADJUSTING JUST FINE!" She smacked the phone across his bare chest and walked over to the closet.

She slid the door open and pulled out a bag. She tossed it at him viciously, "get out!"

"what?" He was genuinely confused and all she did was stare at him and point toward the door. "Where am I going to go?"

"I don't know, but wherever it is, you're late!" She pointed to the door again. She stood her ground as he approached her, "Shawn, baby, I-I"

"Get out! NOW!" She glared at him. He backed away and pulled a shirt out of a drawer and slipped it on. He wordlessly walked through the door and disappeared down the hallway.

Shawn walked backward and collapsed on to the bed. She burst into tears and shook uncontrollably when she heard him leave. She had packed that bag for him but she never thought she'd see the day she would have to give it to him.

The day came.