Chapter 4

Kathryn led Chakotay up the pebbled walkway and into the holodeck cabin. She placed the picnic basket on the little round table just inside the door and stepped to the center of the room. The main space contained a tiny kitchenette with a replicator and the table, and a sitting area with a sofa and a couple of side tables facing a fireplace. There was a bathroom and bedroom in the back. She glanced at the bed, glad to see that it was large and soft and not a simple one-person cot.

Chakotay set the champagne beside the basket and tossed the blanket over the arm of the sofa. "I know you can forget to eat for hours at a time, but I'm starved. Why don't you relax, Katie, and I'll bring you a plate."

She turned toward him with her hands on her hips. "Did you just call me 'Katie'?" she asked.

"What? I like 'Katie'."

She smiled. "So do I, but I don't think you should get into the habit, even in private. The crew doesn't seem to pay attention when you occasionally call me Kathryn. However, I think asking them to get used to 'Katie' is a bit much."

He thought about it for a second and then smirked at her. "I guess you're right. Responding to a battle command with, 'Yes ma'am, Katie!' just wouldn't do, would it?"

She laughed as she lowered herself to the couch and leaned back into the pillows, pushing her legs out in front of her. She stretched her arms over her head and arched her back before collapsing into the cushions. "This is nice," she sighed.

Chakotay watched her cat-like stretch and how the tail of her shirt rose up her body, catching the briefest glimpse between her legs before the silky material pooled in her lap again. Clearing his throat, he reached into the picnic basket and began loading fruit onto the plates. Suddenly, he wasn't nearly as hungry for food as he had been. He cleared his throat a second time while pouring two glasses of champagne. He handed Kathryn her plate and glass before settling beside her, willing himself to keep his eyes on a strawberry until his thoughts were under control.

"Thank you," she told him. "If it weren't for you and Neelix, the Doctor would probably order me to endure daily force feeding."

They sat in silence for a while as they finished the light meal. It was a comfortable quiet. They had, after all, shared many meals together over the years in the mess hall, at Neelix's little morale-boosting parties, and even in her private quarters. Kathryn realized there was a difference this time. It didn't feel just comfortable. It felt natural, like this was what they were supposed to be doing; this was exactly how they were meant to be living their lives, confirmed in their love for each other.

She felt the sting of tears in her eyes and tried to blink them back. She had almost lost this, lost him – if not through her death back on the planet, then through her own stubbornness and denial. She set her plate on the table beside her and covered her face with her hands.

Chakotay watched the emotions grip her. He saw the tears glistening on her face and the trembling in her fingers as she tried to hide them. Quietly, he set down his own plate and reached across the space between them. He pulled her to him and wrapped her in his arms, resting his cheek atop her head. He longed to say something, but he knew her too well. He would have to give her time to gather herself, and so he waited for her cue.

Finally, Kathryn turned her head against his chest. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "I'm not being very romantic, am I?"

"It's okay, love. Just tell me what's wrong," he said as he rubbed her back.

"That's just it," she sighed. "Nothing is wrong. Everything is exactly right." She tipped her head back and looked into his face. "Right here, right now, with you beside me and your arms around me – I can forget what is on the other side of that arch. Forget the stress and strain of our existence here; forget that we are stranded in the Delta Quadrant and may never see home again; forget that I have almost 150 people depending on me for their very lives. With you, I am simply Kathryn." She smiled softly. "I am your Katie. I know in my heart that this is the real us, how we are meant to be."

Chakotay ran his hand under her hair to the nape of her neck and leaned down to kiss her. He kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, her cheek, and finally her soft lips. He gently wiped away the trail of her tears with his thumb. "I love you, Kathryn," he told her softly. "You are my heart and my life. Whatever awaits us on the other side of that exit arch, we will face together. I have to believe to the depths of my soul that our love only makes us stronger. Together, joined by our duty and also by this unbreakable bond, we can be totally and completely what Voyager and her crew need us to be. In all the uncertainty we face each day, this one constant will stand true for all of us."

She pulled herself onto his lap and kissed him, the warmth of his lips and the affirmation of his words ringing through her body. She tangled her fingers in his hair and held him to her, her need for him enveloping them both. When she finally broke free to breathe, she slid off the sofa, started toward the bedroom, and huskily called to him, "Come with me."

Her words were like puppet strings pulling him out of his seat and along in her steps. Once again, a tingling warmth flushed his body. He watched as she lay back on the bed and pulled one knee up slightly, holding her arms out for him to lie between them. Slowly, he crept up from the foot of the bed until his weight was resting along her side, careful not to crush her. She slid her foot over his leg, her bare thigh brushing over his. Her blouse had risen up again, and he could feel her against his hip. He let out a soft moan as he remembered what the heat felt like in his hand when she had finally let go and cried his name.

Chakotay was instantly hard and instead of hiding it this time, he pressed it against her leg under him, wanting her to feel his need. She thrust back, digging her fingers into the muscles of his shoulders and locking her mouth over his. She caressed his tongue with her own and pulled his full weight down on her. Oh yes, she wanted him! Longed to feel every inch of him against her, on top of her, inside of her.

She broke the kiss and moved her lips to his earlobe, lightly sucking on it before biting his neck. She could feel his heart pounding, his chest rising and falling against hers with his rapid breathing. She lay her head back on the soft pillow and scratched her nails up his strong back, thrusting her center against him. "Take me, Chakotay," she panted in his ear. "I want you inside me!"

Chakotay rose up on his knees, ran his hands under the silky blouse and began to slide it off her. She sat up and lifted her arms for him. When the shirt was free, he reached up and removed the gold barrette from her hair, watching the soft wisps fall across her face and over the tops of her breasts. He swept her hair over her shoulder and leaned over and sucked her nipple into his mouth. The sound of her gasp spurred him on as he took her other breast in his hand and circled his thumb over her hard nipple. He felt her grab the band of his shorts and slide them over his buttocks to his knees. He worked them down his legs with one hand while running his tongue over her chest and to her throat. He gently pushed her back onto the pillow and balanced on his knees. He wanted to see every inch of her curves, and he let his eyes roam her toned body, fixing the image in his mind. Oh yes, she was beautiful, and she was all his!

He ended his visual voyage over her nakedness, staring into the cobalt blue of her eyes. He held her gaze and saw the fire in them, her lust drowning him in a delicious free fall into his love for her. He wanted to set her aflame, to hear her cry out in passion, to make her shatter beneath him in complete abandon.

His fingertips trailed up her inner thigh, stopping just short of her sex before moving to the other thigh. "Ahh." The throaty moan escaped her as Kathryn lifted off the bed. He shifted lower on the bed and followed the lightning bolts of his touch with his breath, blowing gently along the sensitive skin of her legs. He reached the joining of her thighs and directed a long, soft breath across her clit. He watched the tiny goose bumps travel in all directions across her writhing body. When he saw her hands clench the bed cover, he darted his tongue out and tasted her. She sucked in her breath with a sharp hiss, a sound that rocked his body with a plasma explosion of desire. He straightened his legs out behind him until he could grind his hardness into the bed, hoping the pressure would give him some relief.

He slid the flat of his tongue over her clit, then again, and a third time, until her hands clamped around his head and pulled him to her. He pushed into her slit and used his hands under her buttocks to position her so he could get as far into her as possible. He curled his tongue inside her to press against the tissue at the opening.

Kathryn couldn't stop herself from groaning over and over again as she felt Chakotay sliding in and out of her sex. He licked up the wet crease until he found her clit again, the pressure of her hands and the volume of her moans telling him when he had the right spot. "Yesss!" she hissed. She held his head in place and ground her clit against his tongue. Suddenly she reached down his shoulders and began tugging him up to her. "Please, Chakotay, make love to me!"

He pushed his way up the bed and braced himself with one arm, his body hovering just above hers. With his other hand, he guided himself to her opening, barely sliding the tip into her, then back out and up to her sensitive clit. He teased her there, slowly rubbing the length of his hardness over it. He loved that he could make her hot and wet for him, and soon his own desire could no longer be denied. "Kathryn," he growled to her, calling her eyes to his. When their gazes locked, he guided himself lower to opening of her heat.

"Yes," she purred to him.

"I love you," Chakotay whispered as he gently entered her. He paused, allowing her time to adjust to him inside of her as she gasped. When he felt her envelop him, he was lost in a turbulence of white-hot passion, of needs too long locked away, and in the affirmation that he longed to spend the rest of his life with this woman who was so incredibly strong and incredibly vulnerable at the same time. He began a slow dance in and out of her, feeling her match his rhythm as she opened up more and more of herself to him. When she closed her eyes and strengthened her grip around him, he bent down to kiss her neck and suck in that little spot just under her earlobe that she had shown him earlier. He felt the tiny vibrations in her throat as she began to whimper her need.

With his first gentle thrust into her, Kathryn had gasped partly in ecstasy and partly in pain. It had been so long since she had let a man touch her. When she felt Chakotay pause to allow her to get used to him inside of her, she loved him even more. No other partner had ever been as considerate of her own needs. It was that very nature in Chakotay that had captured her from the beginning: his kindness and compassion. Together with him, their coupling was not that of a man conquering a woman. Neither did it feel like she was the conqueror, as she had felt with timid Mark. They were equals, two passions joining to soar new heights together. She could give herself completely to this man because he would give her no less.

When her mind finally relaxed and let go of the mild pain, so did her body. She opened up to him fully, her longing for him washing over her and igniting a corona around her core. She quickened her pace, each thrust of her hips taking more of him. She pulled her knees back and placed her heels on each of his thighs. She shifted slightly underneath him as he pulled back, and with the beginning of his next push she used the pressure of her heels and her hands on his sides to drive him to the hilt deep inside her.

"Sweet heavens!" Chakotay cried into her neck. He paused deep inside her, fighting for control as his toes dug into the bed. His muscles clenched and his knuckles turned white. He could feel her breasts underneath him, the soft skin of her naked stomach against his, the heat of her thighs wrapped around him. He took short, shallow breaths, willing a tentative calm into the storm threatening to overtake him. When he could trust that a single further thrust wouldn't send him over the edge, he began his slide in and out of her body again.

Kathryn's senses intensified even as everything around her faded away. There was only Chakotay. She saw the rise and fall of his strong back, heard the incoherent noises of passion coming from both of them, smelled the scent of sex and her own oils, tasted the beads of sweat forming on his neck as she licked him, and felt the sweet sear of her nerves as she drew closer to climax. She rocked her hips, attempting to take him even deeper and positioning herself so that each drive into her brushed the small of his stomach against her swollen clit. She panted into his ear, "Take me, my love. Harder!"

Chakotay was losing his struggle for control over his burning need. He gripped her thighs as he drove harder into her, following her call. He move d his hands up the bed, braced them on each side of her shoulders and raised his chest, altering the angle of his entry even deeper. She pulled her knees back further, taking all of him, needing all of him, her body crying out to be filled. "Yes!" she hissed. "Aahh! I'm so close, Chakotay!"

"Come with me, Kathryn," he called to her. She reached her hand between their bodies and found her clit with the pads of her fingers.

"That's it, baby," he groaned. "Come with me."

Her cries grew louder, the walls of her sex beginning to clench around him pulling him to the edge with her. He looked down and watched the jerking of her hand across the little button, seeing himself driving in and out of her, his cock glistening with her juices. It was the sexiest image he had ever seen, and his hold over his body left him. Kathryn felt him expand inside her and knew he was only seconds from orgasm. Her neck arched, her head dug into the pillow and her legs spasmed against him. With the first wave through her stomach, she curled forward and cried out, "I'm coming!"

Time and space disappeared in the singularity of her cry. He jerked into her rippling center once, and again, and then was lost in the white flash of his release. They rode the slipstream together, one body, one heart, and one soul joined by so much more than mere love. Kathryn crumpled back into the bedding, Chakotay following her, their cries singing to together as their bodies continued to shake and tremble with their shared orgasm.

Finally, the echoes quieted and the spinning slowed, the rest of the world beyond their joining coming into focus again. When he could trust his neck to hold up his head, Chakotay rose slightly and kissed her long and slow before rolling off of her. He lay on his back and pulled her over to him. They stayed like that for several minutes, her head on his shoulder, her leg resting over his, his arm stretched along her ribs. He kissed the top of her head and moved his hand up smooth her hair away from her face. He felt the rumble in her chest as she sighed, "Mmmm."

"Are you okay?" he asked softly. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Kathryn tipped her head to look into his face. "It was perfect," she purred in her throaty alto.