Chapter 2 – 『Unexpected First Meeting 』
Joseph walked through the forest that surrounded most of Gravity Falls with no real hurry. If there was something he had learned from accompanying Speedwagon was that whenever he attended a meeting, people would always drag the whole thing to try and get in his good side for future favors. And with what he had seen of Mr. Northwest, that was most likely the case; meaning that Joseph had several hours to kill. That is unless Pacifica manages to overcome her fear of her father and tells on Joseph about his escape.
If that were to happen, Joseph wondered how Speedwagon would react to the news. Probably not at all surprised by it, especially after sitting through that boring lunch, where Jojo had kept his composure throughout the entire thing. Surely Speedwagon will realize that Joseph's getaway was the lesser of two evils, otherwise the young English boy could've done something that soured whatever business the Oil tycoon had in this place.
He only hoped his uncle doesn't decide to tell anything to Granny Erina.
As Joseph shuddered at the thought of his angered grandmother he accidentally brushed against a dried tree branch. The sudden contact made the English boy look down at his dress shirt praying to not find a tear on what was a gift from his granny. Luckily the shirt was completely fine as if nothing had happened; alas he couldn't say the same thing about the tree branch.
Before it was but a simple dried up tree branch, but now after he had brushed against it, he could see that a few leaves and vines had started to grow. And unintended side effect caused by the lingering power he had used earlier to jump over the wall.
Ever since he was a little boy, Joseph found himself to be able to do things no one else could. Not knowing what it was or how to tell people about it, he kept it a secret from everyone including his Granny Erina. Then, a few years back, Joseph was forced to reveal his abilities when he help save his Uncle Speedwagon from a strange terrorist group who had hijacked their plane.
Speewagon was surprised to discover Joseph's strange abilities, but the boy was even more shocked to learn that his uncle knew exactly what the strange power was:
『Hamon』
Also known as the Ripple or Wave Energy.
According to what his uncle told him, Hamon was discovered thousands of years ago that later would become one of the most ancients martial arts practiced by mankind known only by a mere few as 『Sendō』(The way of the Hermit Wizard).
Apparently Joseph's grandfather, Jonathan, had learned the ways of Hamon and was a natural born genius; which was saying something since only one in ten thousand bears the aptitude capable of utilizing Hamon. And Joseph was one of them.
Naturally Joseph asked if his father, George Joestar II, was also capable of using this power, but Uncle Speedwagon said that George may have had the talent for it, but he was never given any instruction or training in how to use it.
Speaking of which, Speedwagon insisted him to keep his talent a secret, especially in front of Granny Erina, who believed that the misfortune that befell the Joestar family was in part because of their involvement with the ancient art. Of course, not wanting to upset his grandmother, Joseph refrain from even mentioning anything that could reveal his talent in front of her. Even so, outside of anywhere near his granny, if the situation required it Joseph never hesitated using Hamon.
A good thing that the vast majority of people never really paid enough attention to how he managed to do the things he did with Hamon. Probably their minds didn't register anything that fell outside of their own closed spaces known as reality. Whatever the case, it helped him as to not give any explanations. Not that they would believe the whole "Punching with the power of the sun"-thing.
Joseph kept walking so wrapped in his own thoughts that he didn't realized until it was too later that he kept getting deep into the forest instead of going into town.
"Where the heck am I?" Jojo looked seeing nothing but trees and bushes. He was lost in the middle of nowhere, Oregon. "Great, now what?" Unintentionally he tempted fate to throw him another curve ball, and fate answered back.
"Somebody help!" a high pitched scream resounded throughout the trees.
"What was that?" Joseph turned around towards where he heard the scream come from. "Sounds like a girl." So far into the woods, who knew what kind of trouble she could be in. Acting out without reservations he ran towards the direction of girl's cry for help.
After moving through dense foliage, the English boy arrived to a small clearing where he found a scene he never expected to see even in his most bizarre dreams. "OH. MY. GOD."
There in the middle of the clearing was a small girl, probably around the same age as Pacifica judging from their heights. Said girl was dressed in a very sparkly purple sweater with a big pink cat head on it and have two big yellow star earrings, but her outfit wasn't the strangest thing of the whole scene. No, the strange thing that shocked Joseph was the fact that she was surrounded and being attacked.
By gnomes.
That's right. Freaking gnomes! The same thing old ladies put on their front yards as decorations. Except these ones weren't ceramic statues, but real creatures that were pulling the girls hair and clothes.
After his shocked cry, the girl and the gnomes turned to look at him for a second before the little creatures resumed what they were doing before. It took a few seconds for Joseph to process the whole scene, before snapping out of his stupor. "Hey! What's going on here?!"
"Help, what I thought was my boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes!" The girl answered as she struggled against the gnomes, managing to kick away some of them. "And they are total jerks!"But they turned out to be more than she could handle as they managed to pin her down to the ground.
That wasn't exactly the answer he was honestly expecting, but it was better than nothing. "Hey you, leave the girl alone!" He demanded as he pointed and posed dramatically, hoping to intimidate the little creatures.
But the only response he got was a very casual greeting from a brown bearded gnome; probably their leader. "Hey, there! Uhm…You know… this is really just a big misunderstanding. You see, she's not in any danger. She's just marrying all thousand of us and becoming our Gnome Queen for all eternity. Isn't that right, Honey?" He turned towards the so called future Gnome Queen who was pinned to the ground by wire.
"You guys are Butt faces!" She managed to say before they put a gag on her.
Instead of once again freak out because he was actually speaking with a bloody gnome, Joseph settled to act upon rightful indignation, which was the only thing that made sense in this bizarre situation. "Hey, hey, don't you Gnomes know that polygamy is a bloody crime?" Not to mention kidnapping and forcing a girl to marry them against her will. "You better let the girl go."
"Or else what?" The Gnome leader dared. "You think you can stop us, man? You have no idea what we are capable of." Joseph didn't voice it but he reluctantly agreed that it made a good point. He had no idea if these creatures had some sort of special ability or they could cast curses or something of that nature. "We gnomes are a powerful race." Even so, looking at the tied up girl looking at him with those big brown pleading eyes begging for help, Joseph knew that he couldn't stand and do nothing about it.
"Hey you!" Joseph interrupted what would most likely be a long winded speech. "The next thing you'll say is: «Do not trifle with the might of the Gnome race.» right?"
"Do not trifle with the might of the Gnome race." The leader said exactly as Joseph had predicated and like many others before him, the surprised realization provided an excellent distraction. "Ha?! How did you…?" and once more he was interrupted, yet this time it was by a Hamon charged kick that sent him flying off the clearing.
Joseph didn't know if Hamon was effective or not against creatures like gnomes, but he didn't stop and ponder that answer because soon after the lead gnome was out, he took advantage of the confusion and horror of the other gnomes to jump in ans swipe them away from the tied up girl.
"Come on we have to get out of here." Joseph urged as he tear up the wired keeping the girl tied to the ground. Despite their tiny stature and weak appearance, if what the leader said was true and there was in fact a thousand of them, he wouldn't be able to fight them off at the same time.
"Thanks mister."The girl thanked him as he offered his hand to help her up from the ground, "My name is Mabel. Who are you?"
As Joseph was about to answer, the loud cry of the gnome he sent flying with his Hamon Kick cut through the air. "After him! Don't let him take our Queen!"
"No time, we gotta go!" Moving quickly, Joseph crouched down and with his back turned towards the girl he now recognized as Mabel. "Hop on quick!" He told her and thankfully she didn't hesitate or protest and quickly put her arms around his neck and once she had a firm grip on his, he ran away.
"He's getting away with our queen! No! no! no! no!" The gnome leader cried out in anger."You've messed with the wrong creatures! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE!"
『x-x-x』
"Don't worry Mabel I'll save you from that Zombie!" Dipper drove the golf cart he borrowed from Wendy to save his twin sister Mabel from her boyfriend Norman, whom Dipper was convinced was a Zombie. He was in such a hurry that when someone crossed the dirt road he was driving one he barely had any time to slam the brakes. Fortunately, the pedestrian moved out of the way before Dipper could run over them.
"Watch where you are driving you…!" At tall man yell at him and Dipper did only but apologize. Dipper noticed that the man was dressed way too formal to be a simple hitchhiker.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" He repeated over and over again. Then a familiar voice called out for him.
"Dipper?"
"Mabel!" He instantly recognized the voice of her sister and finally realized that her sister was clinging from the neck of the man he almost ran over. Seeing her sister with a stranger after been worried sick for her put him on edge. "Who are you? And what are you doing with my sister?!" He jumped out of the Golf cart demanding answers.
"Don't worry Dipper. He's fine!"Mabel said releasing her hold around of the tall stranger's neck and landed gracefully putting her brother's worries to rest "He was the one who saved me from Norman, who turned out to be a bunch of gnomes stacked over each other."
"Gnomes…?" He repeated not sounding the least bit skeptical of her sister's claim, instead he seemed disappointed. "Huh, I was way off." He then pulled a thick red book from his vest to try and look up the pages that talked about gnomes.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I believe it is better if that we get out of here." The man who saved Mabel urged as he began pushing the boy towards the golf cart. "Now."
"What's the problem? They are just Gnomes." Dipper said dismissively believing that tiny gnomes weren't any threat at all. And as soon as those words left his mouth, the ground beneath them trembled slightly, as if something really big was coming towards them. "That can't be good."
"Come on Dipper let's go!" Mabel grabbed her brother's hand and dragged him towards the front seats of the cart while her savior jumped on the back.
The trio drove away but the trembling sounds that now sounded more and more like giant steps kept getting closer and closer.
Then out of the dense foliage a giant monster gnome that was actually hundreds upon hundreds of gnomes stacked over each other and was catching up to them.
"GIANT SHOCK!" Joseph cried utterly surprised by the appearance of the giant monster. Apparently the Gnomes did have a special ability after all.
"Move, move, move!" Mabel shouted and Dipper tried to accelerate but no matter how fast they went the monster was right behind them.
"Give our Queen back!" The creature demanded as they launched some of the Gnomes that formed the body towards them as projectiles.
Faster than anyone expected, Joseph grabbed onto a baseball bat that was on the back seat of the cart and started swing it bashing gnomes away. But no matter how many times he swung the wooden sport equipment, even he couldn't swap all the gnomes away.
"Look out!"
The ones, who got past Joseph's bat, quickly went to the front seat to stop Dipper from driving away. Then Mabel showed she was capable enough to deal with some of the little creatures as she elbowed and punch them out of the vehicle. Her brother, Dipper, show he was also capable by grabbing one of the little pests and slamming it into the steering wheel.
Joseph was pleasantly surprised by how apt and competent both siblings were even in these dire circumstances. Even so, their collective luck had to run out at some point and it came true when the monster threw an entire tree that flew over them and crashed on the road ahead forcing Dipper to make a sharp turn to avoid collision.
They avoided crashing head first into the tree but the sever swerve cased the golf cart to turn to its side, marking the end of their car chase. The trio got out of the turned over vehicle as fast as they could, and Joseph noticed they had crashed near a large building made of wood. There wasn't much time to think about because the giant gnome monster was casting a shadow over them.
"Stay back!" Dipper shouted as he desperately threw a shovel towards the stacked creature only for it to fail when they punched mid-air the projectile down to the ground. Seeing this, both siblings grabbed unto each other in fear.
"Stay behind me!" Joseph quickly stood up in front to the both of them facing the monster. "If you want to get to them you have to pass through me first!" he said trying to keep the fear out of his voice. The odds were heavily stacked against them and he was sweating trying to figure a way out of this situation.
Street Punks with knifes and make shift weapons? He could deal with. Robbers with fire arms? No problem. But a giant monster? That was something he never thought he would ever had to face in his entire life. He wasn't even sure if Hamon could even help him in this situation.
For the first time in many years, Joseph was at a loss of what to do. Feeling a severe sense of helplessness.
"It is the end of the line! Give us back our Queen before we are forced to do something crazy!"The leader of the gnomes delivered his ultimatum. "Marry us Mabel or the other two will pay."
"I told you already, you have to go through me first!" Joseph tried to summon all the bravado he had left hoping for an idea of what to do to get away from this situation. The idea of running away passed through his mind, but he instantly dismissed it. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he abandoned these kids to their fates, even if he just met them by random chance.
"There's gotta be a way out of this!" Dipper also put himself in front of Mabel Took out his red book desperate to find a weakness in the notes about Gnomes.
Seeing both her brother and her savior put themselves on the line for her sake, made Mabel realize it was time for her to do the saving. "I gotta do it!" she declared making Dipper look at her as if she was crazy.
"What?! No! Mabel, don't do this!" He implored, not wanting to lose her sister to a bunch of gnomes.
"Trust me."
"What?"
"Dipper, just this once. Trust me." Now it was Mabel who pleaded for her brother to listen to her.
Dozens of thoughts passed through Dippers mind. And the words of the author of the book he found in a tree that advised to trust no one, blared the loudest. But Mabel words combined with the look in her eyes managed to convince him otherwise. And so, putting his trust on Mabel he backed away.
"I'm not going to let you do this."Having to convince Dipper was easy, now Mabel had to convince the man that helped her. "There has to be another way."
Mabel stared directly into the man's eyes and said very sure of herself. "This is the only way."
Joseph wanted to protest some more, but the look in the girls eyes made him stop. He recognized that look. It was the same look his eyes would make when he had managed to trick someone into falling for his bluffs to enact a plan. That look spoke volumes and it told him that she didn't believed she could pull this off; she knew she could.
And so, Joseph also moved out of the way, ready to see Mabel pull her plan into action.
"All right Jeff. I'll marry you." Mabel declared looking at the gnome leader who was riding on the very top of the other stacked gnomes.
"Glorious day!" Jeff, celebrated before climbing down from the very top unto the ground below to approach Mabel and present to her a wedding ring. Mabel playing along held out her hand so that Jeff could place the ring on her finger. "Great, now let's get you back into the forest, honey!"
"Now, now, don't forget to kiss the bride." The soon to be gnome queen reminded him.
Jeff was taken a little by surprised but he didn't complain. "Don't mind if I do!" He leaned up to kiss Mabel as he closed his eyes, and this proved to be Jeff's downfall. Because as soon as he eyes were closed, Mabel pulled out a leaf blower out of a nearby bushes and sucked the gnome half-way into the blower.
"That is for Lying to me!" Mabel said angrily. Then she pulled the lever to increase the sucking power. "This is for breaking my heart." She took aim towards the unmoving giant made of stacked gnomes, "And THIS is for messing with my brother!" she turned towards her brother and asked, "Wanna do the honors?"
"Of course!" Dipper stood behind Mable and after a count of three they shot Jeff out of the blower at max power directly to the giant monster who then fell down in a rain of Gnomes as Jeff was sent flying into the distance.
"I'll get you back for this…!" Those were his parting words as he disappeared. The rest of the gnomes looked around looking utterly confused not knowing what to do without a leader giving out orders. Finally they all scurried away like scarred animals when Dipper and Mabel used the leaf blower to blow them away and back into the forest.
Meanwhile Joseph looked on outright astounded by the girl's cleverness to come up with a solution like that. Staring down at his hand, the English boy couldn't help a little out-shined since he was the oldest of the three and felt like it was his responsibility to look after them. Then again, he also felt somewhat proud that they could overcome this adversity with ingenuity rather than mere brute force, showing how smart these two siblings were.
Snapping out of his thoughts Joseph looked back at the two kids as they finished giving each other a somewhat awkward sibling hug, probably glad that each other was safe and sound. After they were done, the two of them turned towards him.
"Hey, Um…thanks from saving my sister from those gnomes back in the woods." Dipper thanked him before he rubbed the back of his head. "And sorry once again for almost running you over with the golf cart."
"Don't worry about it, it was nothing." Any other time he would've give the boy a hard time for almost hitting him, but after this whole ordeal he was happy to let that near fatal accident slide.
"Thank you a lot mister!" Mabel thanking once more with a big smile on her face. Even after all of this she seemed to be in high spirits.
"Please drop the 'mister', I'm not that old." He sighed in slight frustration. "I'm only fifteen."
"Really?!" Mabel asked almost "un-believingly". "But you are so tall!" Seriously, he was taller than a lot of adults she knew about.
"Yes, I know." Sometime being freakishly tall was such a pain in the arse.
"Then how do we call you?" Dipper asked, realizing that he never got his name.
Their unexpected companion brushed his brown locks with his hand before he answered. "Joestar. Joseph Joestar." Not unlike a famous spy from England. "But you can call me Jojo."
『x-x-x』
Author Notes:
Even though I said that Jojo has lived in the USA for some time now, explaining his lack of accent. I like to think he lets slip some British expressions like "bloody" and "arse"on occasions.
Also I prefer the term Hamon over Ripple. I hope that doesn't bother you much.