Chapter 9 - 『Wax Museum Murder Mystery 』part 2
It was dark outside the Mystery Shack, the Moon was shining up in the sky and the kids were already on their beds fast asleep.
It was the perfect opportunity to strike and reap vengeance.
Moving silently like a mouse, a figure travelled through the dark corridors of the house underneath the wrapping shadows covering their presence. Then the figure found him! The one that caused them so much anger, sitting in his favorite couch in front of the T.V unaware of the presence behind him.
And before the man in the couch could react, the intruder using a sharp blade cut the head of the unsuspecting man with just one swing.
『x-x-x』
Joseph yawned as he made their way towards the Mystery Shack for another day of thankless work. Usually he would've accompany Soos, but earlier that morning Stand had called Soos to make him come before the Shack officially opened for business.
On one hand, the sleepy teen was grateful he hadn't have to come along, but on the other, that meant he had to came to work on his own by walking all the way.
"Hey! Is anyone here?" Joseph called out once he entered the Gift Shop and found no one there. Around this time, Soos would be on the middle of cleaning or moving merchandize around the place. Seeing as no one came to greet him, Jojo step out of thestore and into the house. "Soos? Dipper? Mabel? Stan?" He called out getting more and more worried each step he took with no one answering back.
That is until he stumbled into the police tape.
"What the?!" Why in the world would there be yellow police tape inside the house? Unless of course some sort of crime took place. "Hey! Is everything alright?!" Deciding to trespass the tape, Joseph walked inside looking for anyone to tell him what the hell was going on.
"Jojo in here!" called out the voice of Mabel urging him to come into the living room.
"Thank god you are here." He said with a sigh of relief. "Can you tell me what is going… HOLY CRAP!" He shouted when he saw a headless body in the middle of the room.
"Calm down Joseph. It's only Stan's Wax Statue." Dipper said making Joseph relax.
"Sorry…" He apologized bashfully for overreacting a bit. "After seeing the police tape I was kind of on edge." It was embarrassing since there wasn't even a drop of blood around.
"I knew putting the tape was a bad idea." But Mabel insisted in using it to make their investigation feel more authentic. "Anyway, we were investigating the "murder" scene and found some clues."
"Oh? Do tell." Dipper then told Joseph all about the events from yesterday. From the finding of the body, the missing statue head, and how the police weren't of any help claiming the case was unsolvable.
"But we found this!" Mabel announced almost too happy as she wielded the "murder weapon" on her hands; an Axe!
"Wow! Be careful with that." The last thing they wanted was for someone to get hurt. "So whoever the culprit is, they sneak into the house and the used the axe to cut Wax Stan's head?" Joseph summarized the clues they had so far. Whoever they were, he had to hand it to the culprit; this was a good revenge for the scam Stan pulled the other day.
"Probably it was the lumberjack!" Mabel theorized after seeing how angry he got after it turned out that there wasn't any free pizza at the re-opening. Because of that and he was also carrying an axe at the time.
"The lumberjack…?" Jojo rubbed his chin recalling the events of yesterday and the people who were present at the time. "I think Soos told me about him once; I think they call him Manly Dan." Which wasn't exactly the cleverest of nicknames, but who was Jojo to argue about that. "That guy was furious."
"Furious enough for murder!" Mabel said trying to sound dramatic; mostly because if this case was turn into a movie, she wanted to have good lines.
"But where do we find him?" Dipper wondered out-loud. Manly Dan could be anywhere.
"Soos told me about a biker joint downtown, which would be a good place to start." It was only luck that Joseph knew of the place after asking Soos about the places of interest around Gravity Falls.
After taking down the police tape and gathering some supplies to help in the investigation, the trio was ready to go to town and search for Manly Dan.
Except that Grunkle Stan intercepted them as they were exiting the house.
"Hey, give me and Soos hand with this coffin, will ya?" Stan said as he pointed at Soos taking out said coffin from his truck. "I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy."
"Not now Stan." Really, Stan was the only man Jojo knew that would hold a memorial to a Wax figure. Either he was short a few screws or he was a narcissist of the first degree; most likely a combination of both.
"Sorry Grunkle Stan but we have got a big break in the case!" Dipper informed, clearly excited about the whole thing. "We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer."
"We got an Axe!" Mabel once again showed off the murder weapon and then she started doing the classic horror movie screeching sound. "REE, REE, REE!"
"Hm, it seems like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do..." Stan said, in a rare display of responsible adult thought. "Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!" He declared shouting towards the skies above.
『x-x-x』
"So this is the place…" Dipper looked at the entrance of The Skull Fracture and the heavily tattooed man that served as the bouncer of the joint. "How are we supposed to enter?" Obviously both Mabel and he couldn't pass off as adults even with very convincing fake I.D's, which they also didn't have.
"I have an idea." Joseph said confidently. "But I need a vest, a flat cap, and a BIG burlap sack!"
Dipper looked at Joseph with no idea how those things would help in the first place, but he didn't bring up his doubts because Mabel was on the case, apparently. "Leave it all to me!"
Twenty minutes later, Joseph walked towards the joint wearing a green vest and a grayish flat cap that was render almost useless thanks to his long hair. Whistling a nameless tune, he approached the entrance door carrying a big and heavy looking burlap sack but was stopped by the tall and muscled bouncer.
"Can I help you?" The bouncer said in a deep booming voice making him look even more intimidating than his physique and tattoos let on.
Keeping his cool, Joseph gave him a single answer. "Potato guy."
"Where the hell have you been?" The bouncer moved aside, letting Joseph into the joint, not even bothering to check for I.D's or to corroborate his story.
Once inside, Joseph put down the burlap sack as gently as he could and let out both Dipper and Mabel.
"That was fun." Mabel said to no one's surprise while Dipper desperately gasped for air. "Wow call down Dippingsause! We weren't in the sack for more than a minute."
Ignoring her comment, Dipper turned towards Joseph. "I can't believe that work, how did you know?"
Joseph just shrugged. "What bar doesn't need potatoes for the fries?" Speaking of which, he wondered if he could order some fish and chips in this place.
"Anyways, we better look for Manly Dan." Dipper motioned them to follow his lead. "And try to blend in." said the 12 year old in a biker bar full of big muscled and hairy dudes.
It didn't take them long to find Manly Dan among the rest of the patrons. The big Lumberjack was one the corner playing on an arm wrestling game, while growling like a wild animal. The guy was clearly as dangerous as he was strong.
"Ok, maybe confronting him about this crime isn't the best idea." Joseph pointed out, especially if Manly Dan had buddies here that could come down to them. But seeing that Dipper was undeterred, he had to follow suit, only after telling Mabel to stay seated a little bit away from them.
"Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see. Where were you last night?" Dipper instantly pointed his finger accusingly towards the lumberjack, and Joseph could only facepalm. This kid clearly had a death wish.
"Punchin' the clock." Manly Dan growled out not even taken his eyes away from the machine in front of him.
"You were at work." Dipper said trying to analyze anything suspicious in the man's alibi.
"No, I was punchin' that clock!" the lumberjack pointed towards a window on the opposite side of the bar where one could see clearly a bent out of shape street post clock outside.
"10 o'clock, the time of the murder." The boy noted. That meant that Manly Dan wasn't the culprit if that happened to be true. "So, I guess you've never seen this before?" He confronted once more, this time pulling the axe out.
"Dipper, that's enough." Joseph understood what the boy was trying to do; he wanted to get a reaction out of Dan to see if his alibi held any cracks in it. But pulling a weapon on a man you were accusing of a crime wasn't the best of ideas. Unfortunately, by pulling Dipper and the Axe away, he caught the attention of the red headed man.
"You! Potato boy!" He looked straight at Joseph. "You look like you got some muscle on you." Referring to the visible muscles on the teen's arms and under his shirt.
"So?"
As soon as he asked this, Manly Dan proceeded to rip the arm off the Arm wrestling machine before he started beating it with said arm. And this violent behavior was encouraged by some of the patrons, especially a lanky brown haired guy that was far too into it. "Get 'im! Get 'im!"
Once he was done brutalizing the poor machine, the lumberjack turned towards Joseph once more. "I want to arm wrestle you!" He cracked his knuckles and then neck. "Haven't had good challengers in ages!"
"And why should I accept?" After seeing how violent he got against the game, he wasn't exactly jumping at the opportunity. Besides, even if he and every other patron of the place accused him of being a coward, he wouldn't let that get under his skin.
"Because if you win, I'll tell you about the axe the little girl with the cap is carrying."
"Actually I'm a…" Dipper tried to say he wasn't a girl but was interrupted by Joseph.
"I accept!"
"Joseph?! What are you doing?" He pulled the teen's vest aggressively. "Didn't you see what he just did?"
"Yes, but if he has info that would help us get the culprit, then I got no other choice." He also cracked his knuckles mentally preparing for the match to come.
"He's going to destroy you!" Dipper didn't mean to be such a Downer Debbie, but Manly Dan was bigger than Joseph in every sense.
"Don't worry Dipper." Joseph smiled reassuringly. "I got this." Then he turned towards the lumberjack. "Come on Manly Dan! Are we doing this or not?"
Of course, the prospect of a match to prove one's strength and manliness got the entire place all hyped; even if the odds looked heavily stacked against Jojo.
Going to the center of the room, there was a particularly placed metal table which was used for these types of competitions. Joseph took a seat and Manly Dan took his on the opposite side, while every patron cheered and chanted. The most enthusiastic of them all, still was the lanky guy from before. "Get 'im! Get 'im!"
"Dipper? What's going on? What is Jojo doing?" Mabel asked her brother seeing the whole place getting pumped. She was previously playing with a cootie catcher with a fellow "restaurant"patron she managed to befriend at the bar while Dipper and Jojo talked with Manly Dan.
"He's going to arm wrestle for information. He needs to win otherwise Manly Dan would say nothing."
"Do you think he'll be alright?" Mabel looked at Jojo worriedly. She knew he was awesome and strong but Manly Dan was even bigger than him.
"I hope so." Although the more pessimist side of him already predicted a unfortunate result.
Seeing that look on Dipper's face and that everyone was chanting for Manly Dan to "destroy" Joseph, Mabel followed her heart and stood up on a stood and shouted "Come on Jojo! You can win!"
Hearing her shouts in support, Joseph turned around and give her a thumbs up and a smile. "You know so!"
On the other side of the table, the red head lumberjack sneered. "Make sure to last more than a second." He wanted a challenge after all.
"Let me tell you something Manly Dan." Joseph looked at the bigger man directly in the eye. "Arm Wrestling is 80% Mental and 40% Physical." He said confidently despite the faulty math and placed his elbow on the metal table. Manly Dan followed suit and their hands interlocked ready for the match.
And after the official count of three, the match was underway!
Many expected the match to be over the instant the count of three was over, with the overwhelming victory of Manly Dan. Yet to everyone's surprised, Manly Dan didn't win, in fact he was struggling to make Joseph's arm move an inch. Every patron witnessing the match were left speechless except for one little girl that kept chanting the challenger's name.
"Come on Jojo! You can do it!"
"Come on, the match already started." Jojo said with a toothy grin which only served to piss off Manly Dan, who struggled to move the arm and wipe the smirk out of Jojo's face. But no matter how much he struggled, how many veins appeared in his arm and neck or how red his face got, he couldn't move the teen's arm a single inch.
In his desperation to win, Dan completely forgot to watch out for his stamina and soon his energy was running low, making it easy for Joseph to counter attack. "I told you Manly Dan. Arm Wrestling is 80% Mental and 40% Physical." He repeated his words from before. "And the other 80% is …!" He whispered the last part causing Dan's concentration to slip thanks to the confusing words and math; Jojo capitalized the opportunity and with a big gulp of air and a loud cry "OVERDRIVE!" Jojo slammed his opponent arm on the table utterly defeating him in front of his peers.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the place exploded with shouts of disbelief and hype. Manly Dan who was the strongest around was defeated by the potato guy.
"Yeah! JOJO! JOJO! JOJO!" Mabel incited a chant once more and this time she wasn't alone.
Any other time Jojo would've bask in the glory and the adoration from his fellow men, but this time he was a man on a mission. "Manly Dan! We had a deal!" He promised answers and Jojo wanted them now. "Tell us about the axe!"
The Lumberjack was left aghast at his loss looking at his own hand as if the world around him stopped making any kind of sense to him. "Left handed…" He barely said. "The axe is left handed." And that was the last he said before clamping up, trying to process what just happened.
"Thank you." Joseph nodded before going through the crowd that wanted to congratulate or challenge him to another arm wrestle. Ignoring them all, the teen went and pick up both Dipper and Mabel before they got away from the bar.
As they put some distance between them and the bar, hoping that Manly Dan didn't follow them demanding a rematch, Mabel was still chanting victory as if her favorite football time had won the championship while Dipper and Joseph walked behind her conversing with each other.
"That was amazing! I can't believe you beat him!" Dipper was euphoric after watching Joseph overcome incredible odds and do the seemingly impossible. It was really inspiring.
"Like I said before, Arm Wrestling is 80% Mental and 40% Physical." Joseph repeated one more time, "And the other 80% is proper breathing." He couldn't smirk more if he wanted to at that moment.
"Wait! You're saying that…" Dipper was catching on what the teen was saying.
"With Hamon you can give it your 200%!" Ever since the discovery on the lake that he could walk on water using Hamon, Jojo decided to experiment on different things to see what he could with it. Of course he also revisited previous objects just to check out all possibilities. And his most recent discovery was then he was fooling around with a magnet and various things made of metal.
Joseph discovered that somehow, he wasn't exactly sure about the science behind it, he could give magnetic properties to an assortment of objects; including his own body. Of course then he proceeded to put silverware all over his body and proclaim himself as "Joseph Joestar: The Master of Magnet!"
After that, he experimented some more and found out that just as he could stick objects to his body, he could stick his body to certain objects. For example: this elbow to a metal table.
"So you cheated?" Dipper said disappointed, the splendor of the act from before diminishing. Mabel who caught wind of their conversation stopped her celebratory shouts and turned to look at the both of them.
"More like I used my natural born advantage to defeat Manly Dan's natural born hugeness." Joseph offered, but no matter how he tried to spin it, it was still cheating. "Look Dipper, I'm not going to tell you that what I did was wrong and that you should follow what I say and not what I do, because if we're honest here cheating solved our problem."
"That sounds like something Grunkle Stan would say." The boy pointed out making Joseph shudder at the thought of him being similar to Stan.
"Dipper, Mabel…" He addressed the two knowing that he had let the two of them down. "I'm no saint and I've done things that aren't exactly morally correct." Like the time he beat the crap out of some punks that dared to dirty an outfit that was a present of his Granny, and send them all to the hospital. "But it was the right thing to do; otherwise we wouldn't have gotten a lead to find our criminal." Sometimes the ends did justify the means. "I cheated not because of some petty reason like showing off or something; but because we need to bring a criminal to justice!" But only when the ends were for the good of others and not for personal gain or glory. "So my advice is: if there really isn't there another option, cheating is allowed. And if you are gonna cheat, make sure to never get exposed."
"I think I understand…" Dipper said. Even if it was through dubious means, they did it for a greater cause, right?
"So you are saying that morality is relative?" Mabel asked, not sure if that was the lesson to get out of this experience.
"Uh…?" Joseph wasn't sure what to answer. On one side, the argument was true and was a sad reality of this cold uncaring world they lived in; on the other, it was a terrible lesson to impart to kids even if they were almost teenagers.
So instead, Joseph decided to circumvent the issue. "How about we forget about it and we crack down this case?"
Thankfully, this was enough for the twins to drop the topic.
"Yeah!"
『x-x-x』
After some good old fashioned detective work, Joseph and the twins went through the long list of suspects and crossed out those who were not left handed. Thanks to their hard work, they managed to trim down the list to one sole suspect.
That is why they called the cops, and were outside of the suspect's location, to confront him with the evidence and make him confess to their crimes.
"On 3! One…Two…Three!" Kicking the door open, the group entered the Gravity Falls Gossiper, where Toby Determined worked at.
"Nobody move! This is a raid." Sheriff Bulbs, a chubby and short black police man, announced while his companion Deputy Durland smashed a lamp with police baton.
"Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan." Dipper pointed at the cowering man, sure of his guilt.
"You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work." Mabel came up with another quip that would surely impress audiences if this were turned into a movie like it definitely would. She received a high five from both Dipper and Jojo who also approved of her line.
"I-I don't understand!"The sniveling Toby asked confused as to what was going on.
"Then allow me to explain." Dipper said feeling mighty and all-knowing. They figured that the motive was that Toby was hoping the grand Re-Opening of the Wax Museum would be the story that would help his failing newspaper; and when the show turned out to be a flop, Toby in his desperation for a Story and his desire for revenge, chopped the head off Stan's Statue. "But you were sloppy," not only was Toby left-handed, but his shoe's had a hole in them, exactly the same as the footprints found on the scene of the crime. "All the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed."
"Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news!" Man, Mabel was on fire with these one-liners.
Joseph crossed his arms and nodded. He looked proudly at the twins for their incredible detective skills and reasoning. The found the right clues and pieced them together to find the culprit in a single afternoon. This was truly their moment and they deserved it.
"Boy, you're little knees must be sore... from jumping to conclusions!" Toby shot back with a quip on his own. He was no longer cowering in fear; in fact he looked quite confident. "I had nothing to do with that murder."
This time Joseph cut in, not wanting cede one inch to this guy so he could spin this whole thing. "Yeah right! Where were you on the night of the incident? Show us some proof!"
"Ehh…" Toby hesitated and started to sweat, a clear sign of guilt.
"He has a point. Do you have an alibi and some proof to back it out." The sheriff insisted. If Toby didn't show them anything, it merited a trip to the police holding cells.
"No, I have just the thing." Toby then pulled out a VHS with a security tape. He rewound it to the exact time the crime took place.
The security tape showed Toby at work late at night, taking a cardboard cut-out of local news reporter Shandra Jimenez, and he then proceeded to "make-out" with it; proving that the only crime that Toby committed was against human decency.
"Time state confirms. Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature." Even the police agreed that Toby was a first class creep, but not a criminal.
"But, but it has to be him! Check the ax for fingerprints!" Dipper asked desperately, not wanting to believe he had gotten the wrong person. But after a quick dust check, it turns out there wasn't any other fingerprints on murder weapon besides the ones Dipper and Mabel left behind while carrying the thing.
"Hey I got a headline for you: city kids waste everyone's time." Deputy Durland mocked causing the older men in the room to laugh at the trio of kids.
Dipper, Mabel and Joseph left the building feeling embarrassed and sadden at the whole thing. It was really bad when someone like Toby Determined made fun of you.
『x-x-x』
After returning to the Shack defeated, the trio were made to appear and be part of the mock funeral for Wax Stan held by Stan. Dipper, Mabel and Joseph sat as members of the audience alongside the rest of the wax figures inside the same room where they found them, all cleared up and decorated appropriately for this "grim" and "saddening" occasion.
Stan took center stage as he cleared out his throat, mentally preparing for his speech. "
"Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, Joe, thank you all for coming."
Joseph rolled his eyes. Of course Stan would once again get his name wrong and put him after the wax figures in order of importance. He crossed his arms giving Stan the stink eye because he was sure the man enjoyed putting him down again and again.
"Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself." Stan continued, sounding somewhat emotional, despite the utterly ridiculousness of his words.
"They're wrong!" Soos stood up and shouted. Despite this being a farce, Soos was taking this thing way too seriously.
"Easy Soos." Stan calmed his employee down and waited for him to sit back down before continuing. "Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven." Stan voice cracked and a tear came was threatening to fall from his eye. "I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye!" He shouted and then he ran out of the room crying, of all things; following him behind was Soos who also was spilling tears.
The whole thing would've been comical had Joseph not being part of it too.
"Those cops are right about me." Dipper said with a sad sigh. "I was way over my head."
"Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now." Mabel tried to reassure him but Dipper could still not forget about the failure and humiliation of today.
"Mabel's right." Joesph joined in trying to cheer the boy up. "You can't let their words get to you. You did a far better job than those donut-eaters could ever hope to accomplish." Heck, they didn't even bother with a simple investigation.
Dipper stood up from his chair and walked towards the open casket containing Wax Stan. "But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues…" There was nothing left, and no clear suspect. "Hey…Wax Stan shoe has a hole in his shoe..." Dipper pointed at the statue's shoe sole.
Both Joseph and Mabel stood up and walked over the casket to see.
"All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy." Mabel recalled one of the many instructions she read about on the internet about how to properly make a wax figure.
This little tidbit of information alone was enough to turnaround the whole mystery. "Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints? Mabel! The murderers are—"
"Standing right behind you." A voice with a British accent said making the trio turn around towards the owner of said voice, only to find the man known for his quotes «when you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.» Or better said, the wax statue of the man; he stood there despite all improbability. Alongside the rest of the wax figures.
Joseph ensued with the appropriate response.
" OH! MY! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"
First Gnomes, then giant mechanical lake monster and now living wax statues! Was it him or the world was becoming more and more crazy by the day?
"Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret." Sherlock Holmes took out the missing head of Wax Stan out of his cape. "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically."
The rest followed suit and applauded slow and condescending.
"But... how is this possible? You're made of wax!" Dipper asked wanting answers and Joseph couldn't fault him for that because he was on the same boat as him.
"Are you…magic?" Mabel asked, not scared but in fact marveled by this development.
"Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic!" Sherlock laughed at the idea before shouting angrily. "We're CURSED!"
"Cursed! Cursed!" His fellow wax statues chanted, looking pretty creepy, specially with their cold, unblinking, dead eyes.
"Aren't curses magic…?" Joseph wished to point out, but was promptly ignored by Sherlock who told their tragic story.
"We are cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing." Which was strangely unironic for a curse. "Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale." And by that they meant Stan stole them when their previous owner wasn't looking. "And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man."
"But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night." Wax Coolio butt in, in an attempt to become relevant.
"It was a charmed life for us cursed beings..." Sherlock continued ignoring the interruption. "That is, until your uncle closed up shop. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away... But we got the wrong guy."
"So, you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!" Dipper realized what they were getting at. And it was by sheer luck that their Uncle wasn't murder that night.
"You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!" The understatement of the year was delivered by Mabel, who was backing away from said statues.
"Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must... die." Wax Sherlock Holes declared as his eyes and the rest of the figures rolled back leaving nothing but white, making them even creepier which nobody thought was possible.
The Wax Figures plan was to capture the trio and then chop them all to pieces with an axe, but what they didn't expect was for Joseph to step up and delivered a classic one-two punch combination to Sherlock's face sending him flying backwards with his wax face deformed by the sheer force behind of the teen's fists.
"You want to kill us? Well you'll find out that is not going to be that easy, you bloody w*nker!" Joseph didn't meant to slip out of his American accent, but it had been so long since he got to punch the face of a fellow Englishman that the occasion warranted it.
"Dipper, Mabel…? I know you guys could beat these dumb statues on your own. But I've been accumulating much tension lately and I want to relive some stress." Joseph cracked his knuckles and neck to emphasize the point. "So I hope you don't mind I take care of these Maggots by myself."
"We don't mind, Joseph." Dipper said as she urged him to continue on.
"Just be careful." Mabel added in, wishing him both good luck and safety.
"You guys are the best mates!" Joseph smirked before turning back to the statues which were helping to rearrange Sherlock's face.
"You fool! You think you can defeat us with mere brute strength?" the fictional detective stood up, his face still slightly messed up.
"The next thing you'll say is: «We are made of cursed Wax, we do not feel pain.» right?"
"We are made of cursed Wax, we do not feel pain… Ha?!" Sherlock was the latest to fall and be utterly confused by Joseph's signature trick, which Joseph took advantage of and delivered another powerful blow.
"I wouldn't have it any other way!" Joseph punched sent him flying to the opposite wall. "By the way, your voice is so annoying!" Not to mention the accent was phony.
"What are you waiting for?! Get him and the kids!" Sherlock ordered and the rest of the statues obeyed.
Joseph didn't need to read minds to figure out the Wax Figures intended to distract him while they snatched Mabel and Dipper. So that meant he couldn't toy around with them.
Wax Genghis Khan was the first to try to attack him by raising his sword above his head for a down slash to rip his skull open like a melon. So Jojo didn't even let him get a chance to try.
"HAMON CHOP!" With a horizontal strike, Joseph sliced off Khans hands making him scream and back down in surprise. The stubs he should have for arms were slowly cooling off from melting.
"W-What did you do?!"
"My regular punches might not affect you much, but with my Hamon charged fists I can!" Jojo said happy that Hamon was useful and very effecting against them.
"Hamon?!"
"That's right! The energy produced by the Ripple is the same as sunlight!" Dipper commented surprised, delivering exposition for those who didn't know or had forgotten. "So if sunlight can melt wax, so does the Ripple!"
"Yeah! Go Jojo and punch with the power of the sun!" Mabel cheered sure that the battle was about to start would be so memorable; a shame she didn't have her camera with her.
"Did I just say my fists can hurt you? My mistake…So can my legs! Hamon Sweep!" Joseph then swept the legs of his opponent, slicing them right underneath the knees making the Khan fall on the floor.
That is when the Wax Figures realized that the kids weren't trapped in the house with them. They were the ones trapped in the house with Jojo.
"Who's next?" Joseph smiled devilishly.
『x-x-x』
"You know, this was oddly therapeutic." Joseph mentioned as he melted off the remaining wax pieces using Hamon. "I really need to do this again sometime."
"Jojo you were awesome!" Mabel went for another celebratory hug, only to regret it when her sweater got sullied with the melted wax that Joseph's clothes were covered in. "Ew, sticky!" And not the good kind of sticky.
"Thanks Joseph. Because of you we solved the Mystery." Dipper said as he clutched the recovered head from Wax Stan. "And thanks for taking care of those Wax Figures." Despite not being able to help, Dipper enjoyed witnessing the fight because it was almost straight out an action movie.
"Thanks Dipper, but the credit should go to you two." It was their reasoning skills and detective work that really solved this case. "I was just The Muscle." And also the Trickster and the Eye Candy of the team. "You Dipper were the Brains behind it all."
"Thanks." Dipper couldn't help but smile at the praise because when it came from someone was cool as Joseph it really meant something.
"Oh! What was I? What was I?" Mabel jumped up and down, also wanting to have a moniker for her contributions to the team.
"Well, Mabel you represent an important aspect in all teams: The Heart!" Joseph said making the girl smile. "Because without Heart then where's the fun of doing anything, really."
"Aww!"
"So I guess this case is closed, all thanks to the Mystery Twins!" Jojo declared loudly, hoping to have sound epic enough.
"Mystery Twins?" Dipper repeated, not really going crazy for the name. "What about you Joseph?"
"Yeah, if we are the Mystery Twins when who are you?" It didn't felt right to exclude him from the name since he too was an important part of the team.
"Me? I'm the handsome and intrepid Jojo!" He pointed to himself with his thumb and gave them a toothy smile. "I'm the guy that Teams up with the Mystery Twins and also features in the back-up story of every issue." Heck he could already see the title of his stories: 'The Uncanny Happenings of Joseph Joestar.' Now that was a title that would get people's attention.
"Yeah, I can see that." Dipper nodded understanding Joseph allegory thanks to his own interests with comic books. "It fits you more than being a sidekick like Mabel."
"No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick." Mabel answered with a playful shove.
"What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?"
Joseph couldn't help but laugh and soon after both Mabel and Dipper joined in joyful celebration of their success.
A shame that the sweat taste of victory wouldn't last much longer.
"Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor!?" Stan shouted in surprised after he walked in on them.
Explaining to Stan that the reason why Joseph was covered in melted wax and that they had to destroy the wax figures because they were alive and evil didn't exactly go too well. The showman accused Joseph of wanting to destroy the figures just to that the recently discovered parlor was available for him to stay at. This made Joseph fume in anger, because that had been the farthest thought in his mind and that Stan just wanted to force him to repay for the damage.
Thankfully, with the intervention of Mabel and the return of Stan's beloved Wax Head, the old man decided to "forget" about the incident but he still wouldn't let Joseph stay at the parlor, because it was going to be repurposed.
Even after Stan left clear instructions for Joseph to clean the whole room from top to bottom, the Teen kept on clenching his fist in anger.
"Mabel…? Are there any Wax Statues left for me to pummel?" He really needed more stress relief.
"I am 99% sure that you got them all!"
Jospeh sighed, 99% was pretty definitive. That is until another thought came to mind. "Mabel…? What wax did you use for the Stan figure?"
"What wax? Well, I used some of the wax left from melted Lincoln, why?" She rubbed her chin wondering where Joseph was going with this.
"Wait! You don't think…?!" Dipper caught on and turned towards the casket where Wax Stan body still remained, and the newly recovered head stared at them with those cold dead eyes of his "It will also come to life?!" His voice cracking in slight fright.
The trio backed away from the casket sensing the room temperature drop a few degrees while a strange menacing feeling emanate from the decapitated head.
ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ
"I don't know, kids. But we better keep an eye on that statue."
く==ToBeContinued==
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Author Notes:
I liked writing this chapter; because Joseph got his moment to shine as both a trickster and a fighter and finally Hamon has any effects on an opponent.
Also, there are a lot of references in this one. Can you spot them all?