Author's Note: And so, we finish the lovely planet of Feros. To everyone who thought my Shepard's couldn't possibly get any more crazy or outlandish, I hope that Z Shepard meets your expectations. Please, please, please review, because I love seeing them pop up. I've got an illness, and the only medicine is more reviews.
Gunning the Mako, Robo drifted it sideways, slamming through the crowd of Thorian creepers crowded outside the garage door, the vehicle halting inches away from the door. "Arrival successful," it announced. "Please remove safety devices, arm shields, and prepare for combat."
They piled out, letting Jared go first to swat a few creepers the Mako had missed, then ducked inside. "Boy are we glad to see you!" Polarity shouted, hitting one of the creepers in the face with the butt of her rifle, then trampling it. "Bad insane plant people!"
"What's going on?" Angela shouted as they assisted in taking out the last few creepers. Xander, with a little help from Robo, then moved to lock down the door for good, listening to the chattering of the Mako's gun as the VI picked targets. "What about the colonists?"
"We knocked out these guys," Bradley gestured to three groggy, bruised civilians. "Charles and Neville restrained the ones downstairs and locked them in that freighter, then barricaded themselves up against it." He gestured. "Who are the new Sheps?"
Everyone did a very quick round of introductions, and they crowded into the elevator. "So," Xander asked, "There's now twenty-five Shepards?" Everyone else nodded, except Yvette, also clueless. "And we're all stuck here in Angela's universe. So, what's happening back in our own?"
"I have no idea," Polarity said, "but I don't think it's good. But at least I still have my Garbear!" She leaned against Garrus affectionately, who looked panicked at the sight. Yvette looked disgusted, while Angela just looked annoyed, mostly because Jared and Marid had skillfully maneuvered to keep her away from the walls.
Xander blinked at the two of them for a few seconds and shrugged. "Eh, I've seen worse in Fornax."
"Oh my gosh, I love that magazine! Joker bought me a lifetime subscription!" Any further words from the unicorn were thankfully cut off as the elevator opened, revealing two ranks of Thorian creepers. Bradley and Jared promptly singularitied the lot of them, then sat back and had a thumb war while everyone else opened fire.
With the way clear, they trooped down the stairs and out into the clearing at the center of the colony. A few of the colonists had managed to force the freighter door open a few inches, so Angela cheerfully shoved in a couple of the gas grenades before they went around the side. "Ho, Charles!" she called out, waiting for the soldier to respond before they came around the crate wall. "Having fun down here?"
"Loads," he deadpanned. "How was ExoGeni?"
"I picked up two more friends," she motioned at X and Y. "There's some plant thing, controlling the colonists and these things. It's down underneath this freighter."
"What nerve, hiding such a dastardly secret right under our very noses," Neville added.
"Try those controls, they should give us access to the thing. We figure out what Saren did to it, set it on fire, and get the hell out." She motioned Gina towards the controls.
"Won't lifting half the freighter hurt some of the colonists?" the other engineer asked, even as she moved to activate the crane.
"Ask me if I care," Kohana muttered, pausing to punch out another creeper.
One of the freighter sections lifted, revealing stairs down into the decrepit building. "Hmm. Havok, Sachiko, Flora, Kaidan, and Liara, you're with me. Everyone else, hold the perimeter. Once I get a better idea of the place, I may call for more squads." Angela moved for the stairs, the other five quickly falling in with her.
After a few winding corridors, they emerged into the wide open space in the center of the building. "That thing is a plant?" Havok asked incredulously.
"Makes me wish I brought a weed whacker," Sachiko said, running one hand over her shaved head. "Ugly thing, ain't it?"
As they approached, a green-tinged almost-asari was spat out of one of the orifices on the Thorian. "You will serve the Thorian," it threatened. "Meat animals are only good for servants and nourishment."
The four Shepards grinned, deliberately speaking in unison. "I'm Commander Shepard," they said, the effect just enough to send shivers up their teammates' spines. "Tell us what you gave Saren and the geth."
"No! No more deals with lying short-lived animals!" The asari-thing raised one green hand, only for two shotguns and a gravity slam to send it flying off the balcony edge.
The four Shepards turned to look at Liara. "I'm sorry, was that overkill?" she asked nervously.
"Nah, that was kind of cool. Thanks, blue eyes," Flora said, motioning towards another set of descending stairs.
"I don't see why my eyes are important," she replied, confused. "I'm an asari, my everything is blue."
Grinning, the saucy Shepard grabbed her ass, eliciting a startled squeak. "Flora, I swear to whatever deity is out there, if you don't focus on the vicious killer plants, I'm shoving you off the balcony next," Angela said, before putting three rounds into a creeper as it stood up.
In the hallway below, guarding what looked like a giant connective root the size of Wrex, was a veritable army of creepers, at least three dozen, and they were clearly upset at something. The squad came in firing, and only when the creepers were down did they realize that their last and final Shepard was here in the mix, facing away from them, a short ponytail covered in creeper gore stuck to the back of her armor. "You must be Z Shepard?" Angela asked.
When the new Shepard turned around, Kaidan actually opened fire, his shot ricocheting off the armor, while the other five just stood, mouths gaping open. "Holy crap," Sachiko said, "this is unbelievable." She started giggling uncontrollably.
"I don't think this is a laughing matter," Havok muttered, trying to contain his gorge.
"Mua aaommmnnnrrrrr ssseeeraa," Zombie Shepard moaned at them.
"I don't believe this," Liara murmured. "It's not possible. She's dead, but she's walking around." Zombie pointed her shotgun at the connective root, and fired one blast. "And trying to order us around."
Angela had not yet moved or spoken at the appearance of Zombie Shep. "Ah, Angela, you okay?" Flora snapped her fingers in front of the engineer's face, eliciting no response. "Kaidan, hold this for me, will you?" she asked, handing her pistol to him.
Before he could ask what she was planning on doing, the other sentinel had grabbed Angela, dipping her into what certainly looked like an incredibly passionate kiss, which lasted all of about five seconds before their leader shoved away. "Oh, god, ew!" She spat several times. "Never, ever, do that again," she moaned. "Shoot me instead, it'll be less painful!"
Sachiko had sidled over next to Flora. "I'm game if she's not," she murmured, purposefully loud enough to be heard, prompting a new round of spitting.
"But Sachi, darling," Flora responded in the same seductive tone, "I already know everywhere you shave."
"That does it, I'm shoving both of you off the side," Angela growled, straightening up.
"Oh, look, more creepers," Havok deflected, pointing at the incoming wave.
They fought through to the next giant root, and after they had snapped that one, Angela started calling squads in to keep the place clear while they descended. By the time they reached the bottom, and the Thorian was barely holding on from falling deeper into the abyss, all twenty-six Shepards were inside, only Wrex, Ashley, and Garrus holding the barricades outside (which had stopped being attacked, all of the creepers being used for last ditch efforts inside).
All the Shepards stepped up to the edge of their respective levels. Kaidan quickly handed Liara a pair of earplugs, putting in a pair himself, and Tali turned off her suit speakers. "I am Commander Shepard," they boomed out. Six kilometers away, the remnants of ExoGeni heard them clearly. "Tell us what you gave Saren."
A plant-asari, only partly formed, screamed at them. "No! No more bargains with meat!"
"Then DIE," Shepards said, and the Thorian was crushed, held in place by the force of their will, plant juices pouring out the bottom of it. A moment later, the pulped remains fell into the abyss of the ruins below.
From one wall, a living asari fought her way free of one of the connective sacks. The nearest Shepards turned to regard her. "Who are you?" Talya asked.
"I was a follower of Matriarch Benezia," Shiala explained, even as she was wracked with full-body shivers. "Saren came here seeking knowledge. The Thorian could keep some of the memories of the people it devoured. It was here before the Protheans, before the Inusannon. He needed Prothean thoughts to fully decipher their beacons."
The Jewish Shepard stepped forward, the rest of them already drawing closer to the asari. "We need that information," she ordered, her voice backed by half their number, shaking the facility.
"I can't merge with that many at one," Shiala protested, panicking, pressing herself back against the wall as the crowd of Shepards closed in. "I can't! I'm not that strong!"
"Give us the knowledge," all of them whispered, the force of their words lifting her to her feet, soothing away some of her fear. Even as Shiala reached for Talya, she reached for Ubon, who reached to Eric and Inara, and before the meld started, all the Shepards stood, joining hands. The knowledge of Prothean thought patterns raced out between them in a cascade, and as it finished, the asari slumped to the ground.
"Goddess," Liara cried, rushing to her side, checking quickly for vital signs. "She is merely unconscious, I hope," she said, worried.
Angela calmly forced her way through the pack. "Eric, carry her up to the surface. Joker, how's the visitor reception?"
It took a moment for the pilot to respond. "They, uh, stopped knocking and all collapsed after you ordered the Thorian to die."
She blinked in surprise. "You heard that?"
"Angela, I think they heard that on Earth. Hell, they probably heard it on Rannoch," Joker muttered before disconnecting.
"Doesn't matter," Quistis said. "Let's get upstairs. See if there's anything Chakwas can do. Then we go find Saren and do to his nuts what we just did to the Thorian." Lilitu raised a clenched fist in agreement.
"Step one, get the hell out of here," Angela concurred. "Everyone up the stairs. The faster we're off this shitty planet, the better."
While Chakwas was giving the colonists their health exams, Angela, Charles, and Neville were in the meeting room. "You destroyed this Thorian? It could have had immeasurable scientific value!" Valern complained.
"It turned all of the colonists into its slaves," Charles responded. "It was 'obey or kill yourself.' We witnessed it personally."
"We do congratulate you on your destruction of so many geth," Sparatus said. "In the meantime, we have a new target for you. A planet called Virmire." They laid out the details, such as they were, and signed off.
"That could have gone worse," Waldo uttered, making all three of the others jump. "Still, sounds like we're finally about to catch up to Saren. Why are you all staring at me?"
"How long have you been there?" Angela asked.
"The whole conversation with the Council. I walked into the room right in front of you." Looking vaguely perplexed, he exited the room.
"One of these days, he's going to get shot," Neville said blandly.
"Multiple times," Angela agreed, stalking out of the room herself.