Picks up right where the previous chapter left off.
Well, I knew tonight's episode (6:14) would be a crap fest, so I've been working on this chapter to distract myself. Hope you find it a nice diversion from the truly crappy feels I know many of us are feeling.
Spoiler Alert: Avoid my end note rant if you haven't seen episode 6:14 yet.
It's a Mad World
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
mad world mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday...
"Mad World" as written by Roland Orzabal
Lyrics © BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC
"Where the hell are they?" Morgan muttered to himself, searching the dead faces looming all around him. Many of them were so desiccated he wasn't sure how they were able to keep moving, but move they did, slowly, painfully forward, circling the fortress guarding their prey, following some unseen mindless dictate to search for flesh to consume.
Then he saw them, united in a protective cordon around Daryl, who wore a look of sheer determination overlaid on top of terror. As he quietly made his way towards them Morgan silently took inventory: Tara, Carl, Enid, Erin—a man walking next to her he didn't recognize—and was that Rosita? No... then who?
Oh God. Where was Carol?
Morgan reached out and touched then took hold of Carl's arm, stopping him from swinging his blade down in automatic self-defense.
When Carl saw who it was his mouth came open in a silent cry and he spun around to Daryl, grasping his shoulder. Daryl turned his head, but kept moving slowly forward.
When he recognized Morgan, Daryl's eyes went wild with panicked hope like a trapped animal that sees a potential bolt hole. Morgan pointed to where help waited under the trees at the edge of the herd, keeping him moving in the direction he was already heading, and Daryl nodded, his look of determination returning tenfold.
Morgan joined the group, guarding their flank, his mind reeling with the thought that they had lost Carol and Rosita. He knew Daryl would never leave someone behind who was still alive and he couldn't imagine how both he and Abraham would deal with the loss of the women they loved, remembering how he'd lost himself to the madness for so long after...
Carl tripped but turned it into a natural looking stumble and then hefted Daryl's crossbow higher so it didn't interfere with his gait.
Morgan frowned and looked over at Daryl, wondering why he'd had the boy carry it and then realized that he couldn't see whatever weapon Daryl had instead because his hands were hidden under the gore covered blanket poncho he was wearing—the very large bulky blanket—he saw the bulge of Daryl's flexed biceps, the careful way he placed his feet...
Shit! He was carrying someone! Someone who couldn't walk on their own. Carol?
A fairly new walker, still very recognizably human, stopped right in front of Daryl blocking his way and canting its head to the side like a dog scenting prey. Tara slammed her knife through its temple and pushed it aside without breaking stride and Daryl started forward again, still careful, but with greater urgency.
Morgan could see Rick and Jesus on horseback just ahead through the trees visible above the milling mass of ambulatory corpses blocking their way. When they caught sight of Daryl their faces broke into relieved smiles and they started weaving their mounts through the edge of the herd to clear a path.
When Daryl reached Rick he flipped up his poncho and muscles straining, power lifted Carol up to Rick, who cradled her in front of him across the saddle. Jesus held his hand out to Daryl so he could jump up behind him and then the two horsemen took off, heading for higher ground, leaving Morgan and the others to be picked up by the other riders who were waiting.
When the others were well clear of the herd they were taken to the truck where Ezekiel and Michonne waited to greet them. Michonne embraced Carl while Erin and the other unfamiliar man demanded to be taken to where Carol was.
"She's in labor—we're doctors!" Erin yelled before she saw Michonne was with the Kingdom group who had helped them.
"Carol?" Michonne asked, "They would've taken her to Denise—Dr. Cloyd, the Hilltop doctor—she's an OB/GYN."
"Where are they?" Carson asked, "I have her sonograms—her charts—she'll need them, please!"
"I'll take you." Ezekiel said, "They're in the RV up on round top—high clearing nearby."
The former captives and Morgan all piled into or onto the big tow truck rig that Ezekiel had been driving. They swung by the rendezvous spot and picked up Aaron. Grayson was there with him, having made the complete search circuit around the compound, anxiously awaiting news if Morgan had been more successful.
"Her water broke just as we moved into the herd..." Erin explained when Michonne asked her what had happened. They along with Tara and Kayla were in the cab of the truck with Ezekiel.
"Did you see what she tried to do?" Tara asked, her eyes brimming with tears which she angrily wiped away, "She was going to walk into the herd—let them take her so we could get away—how could she do that?"she inhaled and let out a ragged breath.
"Tara..." Erin said, putting her hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her.
"No!" Tara said, shrugging off the hand, "I was so mad at her—she was the reason Daryl was leaving Rosita behind—because she was too weak to wait..."
"She offered to stay behind to protect Rosita when Negan got back," Erin said, reminding them that dropping the rope after her labor began was the second attempt at self-sacrifice she'd made that day.
"That's who Carol is." Michonne said. "She'll do anything she has to, to protect the ones she loves."
"But what about the baby?" Tara asked, turning tearful eyes to Erin. She couldn't fathom how Carol could be so willing to die when she carried a life inside her.
Erin gave her a look of deep sadness.
"She doesn't think he'll make it, does she?" Tara asked softly. "It's too soon, isn't it?"
"It's..." she sighed, "Carson and I will do everything we can, but I think we should all prepare ourselves..." Erin told them quietly.
"She's a baby doctor—Cloyd—the one they're taking her to." Ezekiel suddenly said, surprising them. He'd been listening quietly up until now, interested in hearing about the people they had worked so hard to rescue from Negan.
"A specialist?" Erin asked, her face brightening with hope.
"Got all kinds of equipment too—we've sent our pregnant women to her for delivery for awhile now. She's saved most." he nodded, "Worth her weight in—well, whatever you value now days I guess."
"Well then, let's send all our good thoughts to Dr. Cloyd." Tara said resolutely.
They all silently took a moment and then Michonne had a look on her face that said she wasn't sure if she should ask her next question.
"And Rosita?"
"Negan took her with him on a run." Erin said, "We didn't know until the plan was already in motion... we couldn't wait..." she looked sadly at Tara and then back to Michonne.
"They'll be more vulnerable out on the road." Ezekiel said, echoing what they'd already tried to say to reassure Tara that they would do everything possible to rescue their friend.
"Yeah..." Tara said, but she was also thinking of all of them, now out on the road, of Carol so desperately in need of help, hoping that it would get to her in time.
Flinging the gore encrusted blanket off Daryl jumped to the ground and ran to where Rick was handing Carol down to Eric and Heath, who removed the blanket covering her. Denise came closer, but Daryl took Carol from Eric, wary and unsure of the woman he'd never met.
"It's all right Daryl—she's a doctor—she'll help Carol." Eric said, trying to calm the desperate man.
"How long has she been like this?" Denise asked, motioning Daryl towards the RV as she tried to assess Carol's condition without touching her.
Rick slid off the horse and threw off the camo warp he wore as well, his face tight with worry. Jesus dismounted and caught Rick's horse and held both animals still while he watched the scene unfold.
"She was holding onto me most of the way, but she just lost consciousness." Rick said anxiously, following them towards the RV where Denise was leading Daryl.
"Her water broke; she's in labor." Daryl said, his voice breaking as he looked down at her face, her brow creased in pain even while unconscious.
"Let's get her inside and on our way to Hilltop then, okay?" Denise said gently.
Daryl looked up at her and blinked rapidly and then nodded.
Denise sent Eric inside ahead of them to get the RV started just as the tow truck pulled up. Carl and Enid jumped off the back and ran to Rick, embracing first him and then Ron, who had climbed down off the top of the Winnebago by then.
Aaron went around the side of the big camper, climbing in the passenger side door when he saw Eric seated at the wheel ready to go. They embraced joyfully, just holding each other in a moment's respite from the chaos around them.
Erin and Carson pushed their way through the gathering crowd with the wounded Kayla in tow, following Denise into the RV.
"You kids go with them." Rick ordered Enid and Carl, "We'll catch up back at Hilltop when we can. Make sure you let Maggie know what's going on." Carl nodded and then he and Enid disappeared into the RV.
Jesus, Michonne, Ezekiel and Tara stood back a bit, watching the rest sort out who would go and who would stay. In the end Heath, Ron and Rick stayed. They tried to get Tara to return to Hilltop with the others who had been held, but she said she was fine and wanted to be in on the recuse operation to save Rosita, saying she couldn't face Abraham and Eugene with the news that she was missing.
"We have scouts on Negan's party; they're heading north east." Jesus said.
More of the other people from Kingdom and Hilltop that had come in support of the rescue operation kept coming, some in vehicles, some on horseback until there were almost twenty-five gathered around Rick, Ezekiel and Jesus.
"Bethesda—the big military hospital there." Tara nodded. "He was going after equipment and supplies for Carol and the baby."
Rick raised an eyebrow at that, but when neither Jesus nor Ezekiel looked surprised he exchanged a questioning frowning look with Michonne instead.
"What happened in there?" Rick asked.
"Carol did what she needed to do to keep you all safe." Michonne surmised, "What she always does."
Rick still looked uneasy thinking that Carol had become so important to Negan in the time she'd been with him that he'd risk such a dangerous mission just to help her.
"Should we hit them going or coming back?" Jesus asked, looking at Rick and Ezekiel, ignoring the undercurrents he sensed running between the Alexandrians to push through to practical matters.
"We go after Rosita now!" Tara insisted, incredulous that they would even consider waiting, "The longer she's with them the more at risk she is."
"We hit them coming back we get whatever supplies they scrounged too." Ezekiel said, ignoring Tara's outburst.
"Listen asshole—fuck your supplies—that's my friend!" Tara yelled, pulling her knife and getting in his face.
About ten guns were immediately pointed at her from the Kingdom people.
Michonne drew her katana and stepped in between Tara and Ezekiel, separating them.
"Enough! We're going after Rosita now. No debate." Rick said forcefully, looking around at everyone until they dropped their weapons back down. "Let's get that straight."
"We need to regroup and resupply from today's mission." Jesus pointed out. "The scouts will keep them in sight until we can get back on the road."
Rick nodded in agreement.
"We're closest to Sanctuary." Jesus said. "We can be there and ready to roll in a couple of hours."
"Then let's go get the son of a bitch." Tara said, nodding.
"Negan's not going to leave anything to chance." Ezekiel warned. "We were only able to get this close to Sanctuary because of the herd and because he was on the road, focused on his goal to help your woman Carol. I hope she'll be all right."
"She's strong." Michonne said resolutely, "She's a survivor." she looked at Rick, "And she has Daryl."
"I wouldn't want to be Negan if she doesn't." Rick added.
Denise let the woman, Erin, who identified herself as a doctor and Daryl, the man she assumed was the woman's husband, strip off her dirty clothes and quickly clean her then put her in the back sleeper bed of the RV where she could examine her.
"When her waters broke was it all in a gush or a trickle?" Denise wanted to know after putting her stethoscope to Carol's abdomen to find the fetal heartbeat.
"Big gush." Daryl said, his voice a low strained rumble. It had been terrifying.
"Is she on any drugs, herbals or other courses of treatment I should know about?" Denise asked, attaching the blood pressure cuff and handing it off to Erin to take while she continued her exam.
"No." Carson said, "We didn't have anything to stave off labor so she's been mostly on bed rest. She's at 36 weeks, so technically it's pre-term and the baby is small..."
"She has a caesarian scar—what was your birth plan?" Denise asked Erin and Carson, "Can she be delivered vaginally?"
"First time—when she had her daughter—that was almost fifteen years ago." Daryl said, not knowing if that made a difference. He had also cleaned up at best he could so he could sit on the bed with Carol, holding her hand.
"We planned a vaginal delivery. The ultrasound showed she had a well healed uterine wall and as I said the baby is small." Carson explained.
"You have the ultrasound?" Denise asked after getting the BP and pulse rates from Erin.
While she and Carson looked over the charts Erin put her hand on Daryl's shoulder to check how he was holding up.
"Why don't she wake up?" Daryl asked her softly, brushing the hair back off Carol's forehead.
"She will when she needs to." Erin assured him.
Carol wasn't bleeding out, her vitals were within normal range, and she didn't show any signs of internal hemorrhage. It was as if she was just resting, conserving her strength for the delivery.
"She's in labor though, right?" Daryl asked, his voice tight with worry, "I mean once her water breaks the kid has to come out. If she can't do it then you'll have to cut her..."
"She doesn't seem to be having contractions yet, so we have some time." Erin squeezed his shoulder, "Talk to her, let her know you're here, that we're safe now."
"I need to do a manual exam to check for dilation." Denise said, coming back to the bed, listing slightly as the RV turned a corner and grabbing onto the side wall to stay standing.
"Sorry!" Eric yelled back. He was trying to balance their need for speed with the need for stability.
Daryl braced Carol's shoulder so she wouldn't slide and her eyes fluttered open, trying to focus on him.
"Are you real?" she asked him, reaching her hand up towards his face.
Daryl took it and smiled down at her, but then his head fell and he sobbed with relief, all his fears that she'd never wake up, that he'd really lost her, letting loose all at once.
"Oh, don't cry." Carol soothed in her soft scratchy voice. "You're real, I believe you..."
"Carol?" Erin asked, hating to interrupt, but needing information from her.
"Erin—I'm glad you're here—my back really hurts down low." Carol said, sounding a bit annoyed.
"What kind of hurt, honey—sharp or more just achy?" Erin asked.
"Achy. Like bad period cramps." Carol said, frowning as she took in her surroundings. "Where are we?"
"On our way to Hilltop—this is Dr. Cloyd, Denise—she's the OB/GYN there—she needs to take a look under the hood to see how things are going, okay?" Erin asked.
"Okay." Carol said, looking a little fearful.
"Hi Carol, now that we've been properly introduced I'm just going to—" Denise said, with a trace of humor.
"Is the baby okay?" Carol interrupted and both she and Daryl looked up at the doctors.
"Good strong heartbeat." Denise nodded, "Can you help me raise your knees?" she said gently.
Carol did as she asked, quite used to the position by now from Carson and Erin's regular checks. It was a huge relief to have Daryl by her side instead of—
"Rosita..." Carol murmured in distress. "He has her—we have to get her back from him."
"The animal that bruised you?" Denise asked. She had winced to see the contusions on Carol's breasts.
"Yes." Carol said.
"We'll get her back... and Negan dies." Daryl said, with a dark finality in his voice.
"All right Carol." Denise said, withdrawing and resting her hands on top of Carol's knees for a brief reassuring squeeze. "You can put them down or however you're most comfortable."
"Can I sit up?" Carol asked and at Denise's nod Daryl helped her into a sitting position leaning back against him.
"Although your waters did break you're not in active labor yet." Denise told them.
"I'm not?" Carol looked surprised.
"You're not. It can take twenty-four to forty-eight hours to pass into labor after the amniotic sac ruptures. If you start feeling more pain or contractions let us know, but right now I think we'll have plenty of time to get back to my Clinic before you deliver." the doctor smiled at them and pulled off her vinyl gloves.
"You sure?" Daryl asked, frowning at her in disbelief.
"This is good news, Daryl." Erin said, "We have time to get everything ready—Denise says she has an incubator there so he can go in there and cook for a little bit more until his lungs are more ready if he needs it."
Carol and Daryl shared a look, hers full of shame. She'd almost given up back there; almost let the walkers take her and their son...
"I'm sorry..." she said to him, her eyes full of tears.
"It's okay, you didn't know..." Daryl soothed, pulling her into his arms and holding her close. "You're here n' you're doin' good, both of you."
Carson looked distressed; he'd seen what Carol had tried to do.
"You're the bravest woman I've ever met, Carol, especially in this mad world we're stuck with now." Carson told her. "You're a good person. Don't ever forget that."
Carol looked up at him, embarrassed, but grateful.
"Just rest now, we'll be there soon and you'll have your baby today or tomorrow." Erin added. "Happy birthday, right?" she smiled.
"Come get us if she starts having any more pain or feels any other changes." Denise addressed Daryl.
"Thank you—all of you." Carol said and Daryl nodded in agreement.
The three doctors left to give the couple some time alone.
Carol put her right hand on Daryl's, wrapping her fingers around his and lifting it until it rested on her abdomen, curving over the swell of their son resting there, her hand on top of his, lacing their fingers together.
"I thought I was dead." Carol murmured. "No today or tomorrow..."
""You don't get to leave me... Everything we been through together... we'll get through this too." Daryl said, resting the side of his face against hers.
"I should've known... you always find me." Carol turned her face up to his, her eyes full of love and her belief in him; in them.
Note: Contrary to what film & TV shows may lead us to believe, you do usually have plenty of time to get to the hospital after your water breaks, as Erin tells Carol, 24-48 hours is a good window. If it goes on longer there is a risk of infection for both mother and baby & the Dr. will induce.
I needed a hopeful chapter after the sadness I feel buried under after seeing tonight's episode.
Warning! Spoilers for 6:14 "Twice as Far" in The following rant:
I am incredibly sad to see such total confirmation that Carol was openly living with Tobin and that Daryl didn't care. Not one bit. I don't understand why they even bothered to have them talk. All it did was give him a reason to go after Dwight in revenge for Denise because his old buddy Carol agreed that he should've killed the guy that stole his precious bike & bow.
I don't think his leaving Alexandria that we saw in the previews will have anything to do with Carol. They are ship baiting us with the way they cut the preview to make it look like he was going after her, just to keep us tuned in like they did with with those 2 tiny scenes this week & the hug last week while she is literally fucking another man. She left the note for Tobin with mentions of love, not Daryl. I am bitter and tired of this shit. Tobin obviously cares about her & she for him, but I'm sorry I just can't ship it.
Have you heard of the death by a thousand cuts? that's what Caryl has become to me. Each week they slice away at my hope that any of this is leading somewhere.
My other issue is that they have made Carol suffer so much physical abuse and mental anguish in their hunt for an Emmy for MMB that it's almost sick. She is being put through the ringer & called a monster & a killer for the exact same behavior that Rick has been doing since forever & he gets a canon romance with his OTP bad ass warrior woman while Carol gets to screw a glorified extra red shirt generic nice dude & people accusing her of betraying Daryl. Nice, Gimple.
Sorry to be such a downer, but thanks for letting me vent.