Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC or else by this time Season 2 would be out. How long do I have to wait to see Tamaki and Haruhi kiss on the big screen?

Warning: Foul langauge and some mild references to "things" a 12-year old should know because of social media and rated R movies. If you did not read the summary before clicking on this story, then you are stupid. If you skipped this and didn't read this, I pity you. If you have any anger towards me for putting foul language and stuff, then READ THIS NEXT TIME!

CLAIMER: I DO OWN MADDIE/SEIKA AND OTHER OCs YOU SHALL SEE IN THE SEQUEL OR LATER ON IN THIS FANFIC. REMEMBER TO R&R AND IF YOU LIKE, FOLLOW OR FAVORITE! DO YOU GUYS WANT A Q&A WITH MY OCs, ME, A TRUTH OR DARE, OR BOTH? REVIEW! YOU DO NOT NEED AN ACCOUNT TO REVIEW! ONTO MY LOVELY CATASTROPHE I MADE!~

Chapter 4: THE COSPLAY CONTEST THAT KINDA RESEMBLES THE "HARUHI BEACH INCIDENT!" (i promise this will be good! part 4 upload i think most likely the Sunday before my birthday!) *Part 3*

Then, in one second, they returned to their original spots, and I went and opened the door. They welcomed 28 girls in (or was it 56?) and the host club is now opened.

"Yokoso (1)." And then I was almost trampled by a stampede of fangirls, giggling and screaming, rushing towards their seats. As many people don't know, you have to pay one day in advance in order to enter like that. Usually they do that, to avoid being trampled on by others, of course. I was wondering why I don't have to pay, but whose complaining? I grabbed a seat, alone, and blankly stared at the door, waiting for the right time to bring out the big guns.

~TIMESKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY ALLSTATE: "Are you in GOOD hands?"~

I finally got back up, and by the looks of it, about 40 minutes has past. I brought the bag with me, slowly taking out several photo albums and a lot of photos, heading towards the center of the room.

"Hikaru! How dare you say such cruel things to your brother! I-I don't like you anymore! Everytime you say that I try to hold back my anger, but this time I can't anymore!" Kaoru shed fake tears and Hikaru grasped his chin and looked at him, straight in the eyes.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but your face is too cute to pass up when you get angry! Please, do-"

"Hiya, girls! I have some photos of actual naked twins, no photoshop, 50000 yen each! Or you can buy the photo albums, each 100000 yen each! Each photo you buy is another memory made!" I swung and flailed the pictures around, hoping that I could profit off of this and make a living with money. Sooner or later, every girl in the room, even Hunny lovers, bought the photos. At the end, I forced them to make a line and not crowd over me or else I'll burn the photos, which would be a waste of photography skills wasted. Luckily, I sold out, but in total I made 1500000000 yen ( including tips) in 10 minutes! VICTORY! NOW I COULD GO SHOPPING! As I did my victory dance, in the corner of my eye I saw Kyoya smirking, taking notes of who-knows-what in that damn book of his. The twins could be pissed enough to release a yellow waterfall. Seriously, stop writing these jokes! (I'm sorry. But hey, I have full control over you!) Whatever. And say, didn't you say that you plan on going to make Liv feature in your FullMetal Alchem- (SHUT. THE. FUDGEY. OKRA. UP. THAT WAS A SECRET.) Fine. wasn't gonna tell anyone anyways. I then went back to my seat and started to count and admire the money I made, probably more money than my mom makes, anyways. Another 40 minutes passed, and I gave the twins a look and they came over.

"What the hell do you want?!"

"Ohh, feisty, aren't ya, Hika-chan?"

"Sh-Shut u-up! What's the fucker?"

"You two, put this on. ONLY THIS. It's part of the punishment." I smiled slyly and handed over the bag, taking out some other things (a red controller, my notebook, map of Ouran, etc.). The cheeto-heads stared into the bag, then back straight at me.

"What the fuc-I mean, loincloths?" (Hikaru didn't say WTF because Tamaki wants no profanity in the host club and Tamaki was slowly evesdropping on them :P)

" Yep. With your own rose color and initials on it too. Didn't take your mom long to make since it was just some string with cloth. You should be honored."

"But-"

"Still-"

"LOINCLOTHS?"

"You have to wear it. If you don't, I have my ways of embarassing you two with out taking part in it. You could say that I'm like Kyoya in some ways." After seconds of a staring contest, they gloomily walked towards the changing rooms, coming out only a few minutes later. Gosh darn, I didn't know that their abs were that, um, delicious? Oh god, what in fudge land am I saying?

"Like what you see? Hmm?" Hikaru gently took my chin and tilted my face upwards, inches from his. I probably blushed, turning into a tart strawberry. His golden orbs stared back at my gloomy dark grey, mischievously taunting me. God forbid me from becoming a poet!

"Umm...NO! NOT AT ALL!" He smirked and went towards Kaoru, most likely doing their "brotherly love" performance, or as I would like to call it, incest, which is illegal in the US, but apparently not here.

"Kaoru! You're not allowed to shed your skin in public when everyone's watching!" He came closer, grasping his brother's hand while doing so. I'm not against gays and lesbians, but I can't ever stand yaoi and yuri (I hear your prayers, son. I hear them good.). Get your sex correct! I'm a female! God, I feel so uncomfortable right now. I regret crying on my notebook now. Humph. But at least I get more of a behind the scenes that lots of fangirls want.

"I-I'm sorry! You just stripped me out of greed, I couldn't do anything. I-I hope you feel proud, brother!"

"I'm sorry, Kaoru! Next time, we shall stay home all day, that way no one can see us, and we can do more." They did their signature pose, while girls came over, taking pictures. Gosh, Ouran girls are such hentais (2); I saw a few taking a look at their butts. I took pictures, cropping out the girls and I had to take picture of their butts, okay?! I'm not like those girls; at least I plan to sell these photos to girls that come here but couldn't because of whatever class that they have today or they're just ill at home. I smirked for my next plan.

"Okay, girls! Step away from the brothers! I have a SWEET TREAT coming for you guys!" I turned around, holding the red controller in my hand. The girls backed away, confuzzled of what's gonna happen next.

"You cheeto-heads are so sweet! LITERALLY!" I backed up a few steps and pressed a few buttons on the controller, revealing 2 huge buckets of custard above the twins. I flipped the switch and the custard was dumped on the gingeys. A lot got on the floor surrounding them, but after club hours I'll be honored to clean them.

"WHAT THE HELL!" They didn't care if Tamaki was against cuss words, they just want to know the fuck's wrong with my sanity. Well, for your information, I'm pretty sane unlike Liv in a situation to date cute boy #1 versus dating an anime poster.

"Takashi! Look! Custard! Can I-"

"No, Mitsukuni." Wow. He said something! That was sarcasm, by the way. I stepped in front of Hikaru, drawing a smiley face on his chest, then licking my finger. What? It was fuckin custard man!

"Girls, I hope these desserts are suitable to your tastes. I recommend them with Darjeeling Citrus or English Breakfast." I moved aside, watching the twins get licked to death by girls. Yep, I can see their tombstones now: Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin. 1991~2006 ( going by the year OHSHC was released :P). Death by hungry girls. Tamaki and the others came up to me.

"Can I eat the custard?" When will he stop asking?

"No." Thank you for stopping him!

"Are they going to be okay?"

"You know you are going to clean up this mess, right?" Yeah, Kyoya is like the mom we always wanted: strict, cool, and fun to be around with.

"I do not accept this in my club,but this shall be considered as revenge when they blackmailed me into kissing Cassanova!" When the heck did he kiss that sweet bitch-faced gangsta?

"No, Hunny; thanks sempai (3); yes, Haruhi, they are perfectly fine; I plan to clean up after hours, you cold-hearted son of a bitch; when did you kiss Kasanoda?" Then Tamaki starts his never-ending tale of blackmail, Kyoya takes notes of whatever the hell, Haruhi facepalms, Hunny eats desserts, and Mori just, well, stands there. After the longest 17 minutes of my life, I told the girls to back away and gave the carrots their clothes and some towels. They walked toward the changing rooms, which apparently has showers. I grabbed a mop and a bucket of water, and I started mopping the sweet mess I made. It took a long time since the sticky residue wouldn't come off. Not before long, the club hours were over and I started eavesdropping on the chit chat the girls were saying.

"This was the BEST host club event that they set up except for their cherry blossom tea room! I wonder if they will do one for Tamaki-chan~ next?"

"Look! HD QUALITY PICTURE OF THE TWINS! AWESOME! THIS WILL BE GREAT FOR MY KAORU SHRINE!" Gurl, you be cra-cra! I could see it now: Yandere Simulator: Ouran Edition. In the elite academy of Ouran, love and friendships await. But jealousy and drama causes a girl to be dead in Music Room #3. You enter that room and that girl gives you one simple task: Kill all girls that are part of the host club and the boy of your choice will be yours to keep. Buy this game and the drama of Ouran will unfold before your eyes. Buy now and get a FREE OURAN UNIFORM! God, I could see Markiplier playing this, going Super Saiyan while going on a killing spree.

"Mmm! I got a reusable bag and got some custard on the twins' bodies! I'll keep it for my birthday as dessert!" God, how many stalkers/Yandere are in this god-forsaken school?

"Hey, wasn't that girl that new student that's going here tomorrow? Even though I envy her for living with the Hitachiins, she seems like a fun gal to be around!"

" I agree! I hope she's nice!"

"Did she cordinate that thing with the Hitachiins? That was so nice of her! She also has some wicked photography skills! Look at these pictures of the twins! She must have used one of those expensive foreign cameras!"

"Did she also did that thing we went to last night? It was like that custard thing earlier but they were COMPLETELY NAKED! I got to touch Hikaru's or Kaoru's, I couldn't tell; butts and well, penises! Don't tell a word to mum about it!" You sicken me. But you are nice for supporting me by buying those stupid ass tickets that saved my fuckin ass!

"Oh my god! You are so naughty, Hirosa! Even I wouldn't dare!"

"I-I have to admit, Hirosa and Dosumi, I-I -even a shadow like me, a goody-two shoes, a teacher's pet,-"

"Spit it already, Kunama Sakuro! We both and possibly the other girls, want to know!"

"I-I-I grasped their penises." Good grief, give this girl a boy, some chains, and a whip! She would be a perfect fill-in for Christian Grey!

" You are such a sadist!"

"I'm sorry! I couldn't resist!" You SHOULD be. But who the hell gives a shit. I'm going to stop eavesdropping now. Get me some fanfiction and I would be okay. It took not long to finish cleaning the floor, since the custard only gone as far as 6 inches from where they were standing.

"Hey, get me another towel, would ya?" Uggh. Hikaru can get his stupid towel himself. But being the nice person I am, I got another towel from their storage room and headed towards the showers,which was located behind the last curtain in the changing rooms, leading towards multiple showers. Hikaru popped out, with a towel tied around his waist, trying to get extra custard out of his dripping, dark cinnamon hair. I stared for bit and then I tossed his stupid towel to him, blushing a light lily pink.

"H-Here's your stupid ass towel." I turned away quickly to hide my face.

" Still swearing like a sailor, huh? I'll get revenge on you, no matter what. By the way, th-t-tha-"

"Don't have to thank me! That's what you get for knowing an impolite person! Hey, is Kaoru still showering?"

"Nope. He got to the changing rooms before I did. The loincloths though, you have to wash them." He smirked as he began to dry his hair off.

"Fine, but after I wash em, you guys have to keep them. After all, your mom would be disappointed if you threw them away."

"Fine." And that was that. I went outside and a hand grabbed my shoulder. I turned around and I saw it was Kaoru.

"You know, you are probably the only hope to opening my brother's world up and be more open towards his feelings." I looked at him with my " are you crazy?" look.

"What about Haruhi? I know "he" is a "she" and I can keep secrets, but she is a likely canidate. Since Hikaru likes Haruhi, she'll be the person. But then again, she's pretty dense..."

"Exactly. That's why I'm trusting you with him. You're not dense, but you're fun, caring, but mischievous and um, kinda cute." He slightly blushed while saying the word "cute."

"Thanks for saying that! I'll take care of him! (even if he's annoying...)"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing! But you can count on me!" I grinned mischievously and put a hand on his shoulder. Oh yeah, I need to call Renge!

"Wait, Kaoru. RENGE!" You can guess what happened next.

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! SEIKA! Are you up for the convention you got tickets from?"

"HELL YEAH! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO ONE! Do you have the costumes ready?"

"Yep! Let's get freshened up and leave! Choose ANYTHING from my closet! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" Her pillar thing went back down and Tamaki and the others were eavesdropping. I rolled my eyes and went to her closet.

~TIMESKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY KYOYA'S DAYCARE:" DROP YOUR KIDS OFF AT THE PARADISE BETTER THAN CHUCKY E CHEESE'S!"~

I couldn't reach down towards the middle of my back, but luckily I heard some footsteps outside. I quickly guessed a name and hoped that they will hear me.

"Hikaru! Can you come here for a sec and help me?" He opened the curtain and said a simple "hmm yeah sure" and started zipping up my inner dress. It took him a while to figure out that he was in an unbuttoned shirt and I was in a strapless inner dress. We both blushed heavily and then I heard a "Click!" sound. Only one person would do such a thing.

"RENGE! YOU ARE SO DEAD WHEN I'M DONE!"

"What? You guys are so cute together! I couldn't resist!"

"Thanks for your help. I'll get dressed and then chase that fucking otaku around with a wrench." I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. After 16 minutes, I came out with Renge, who was wearing a beige cream dress, a strawberry blonde wig with wavy curls at the end, an amathyst necklace, and Roman sandals. I was wearing a deep v-neck, revealing some of my cleavage, and the black dress with the transparent grey cloth at the end of the dress. I wore jewelry Egyptians wore and Roman sandals. A hippie crown with gold and other jewels made my hair pop with colors. Hikaru was blushing madly along with Kaoru, Tamaki was shocked, Haruhi feels pleased, Mori stood there, and Hunny looks like he was about to give complements.

"Where are you going?"

"Nice dress, you two."

"You look pretty, Sei-chan and Ren-chan!~"

"Hmm."

"Interesting."

"Um, uhh, gah, you look pre-pr-pretty..."

"Youguyslooknice!"

"Thanks guys! And Tamaki, we won't tell you a single thing because you'll freak out and stalk us."

"No I won't!" Totally lying guys. Totally lying.

"Whatever, we're leaving! Bye guys!" Renge and I exited the building, not knowing that the host club was going to stalk us while at the anime convention.

Japanese Translations:

(1) Yokoso-Welcome

(2) Hentais-Perverts

(3) Sempai-A respectful way to call someone older than you (i.e. Hunny-Sempai; Mori-Sempai); some will spell sempai like senpai

~Author's Note~

I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY PART 3! I'LL BE SURE TO UPLOAD PART 4 THE SUNDAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY, I PROMISE! GAHH! I'M SO NERVOUS! MY MARY POPPINS AUDITIONS AT TUESDAY AT 4:26! WISH ME LUCK! BE SURE TO R&R AND COMMENT ON MY MISTAKES! THIS IS BLACKMIDNIGHTWHITE, SIGNING OUT. BYE!~~~~