Loki watched Thor leave with a rising anxiety in her stomach. The information he was going to get could drastically affect their lives, and all Loki could do now was hope it wouldn't be for the worse. That whatever the deal was, it would be something they could overcome together. Or better yet, something that may actually benefit them. Though, knowing her father, and knowing what she did about Odin, Loki doubted that very seriously.

Odin was ruthless, cunning. A powerful man who was not afraid of sacrifice. Every Jotun grew up hating him, and though Loki was wise enough to know the stories she'd heard were heavily biased, she did not trust him. The All-Father had brought her here for a purpose, and it could not have been as easy as falling in love with Thor and living happily ever after. No, the sacrifice would come. Loki knew that, even if Thor didn't.

When it came to Odin, Thor had the blind faith of a little boy. He idolized his father and refused to believe anything but good things about him. Loki couldn't bear to taint him with what she knew to be the truth. She warned Thor about being too optimistic, but she did not voice all her worries. He would see soon enough. Fathers always disappointed their children. Loki was lucky, hers had done it her whole life, so she was used to it. When Odin fell from Thor's pedestal, and he would, he would plummet. But it would be Thor who would shatter.

It was Loki's job to make sure those pieces got put back together, and make sure the scars he would be left with did not cripple him. She loved him. As inexplicable and unexpected as it was, she loved him. Thor's faith in his father came from that same place inside him that saw the good in everyone, including Loki. This ability to see goodness was Thor's light, and Loki had come to depend on it. It was the only thing she'd known that could chase away the cold shadows that lived inside her. And if that light went out, or even dimmed a little, those shadows could consume them both.

Frowning, Loki decided to find something to distract her from fretting. She walked to the table that had her books laid out. Thor had asked about them. She'd told him they were books on magic, but not that she was trying to regain her Jotun form. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to anymore. If she saw even a hint of revulsion in Thor's eyes, it would kill her. Yes, he told her that he loved her no matter what color her skin was, but Loki wasn't sure if she was ready to put that to the test. Still, for her own curiosity, she continued. The next time she had any significant alone time, she would attempt the spell. Not now. She was too anxious to concentrate.

As Loki leafed through the pages of her book, she glanced up when she caught movement by the door. Her head tilted in confusion when two guards, armed with expressions as sharp as their spears, walked in. With their horned silver helmets and long golden robes, they looked every bit as intimidating as Thor when he was dressed in his official regalia.

"The prince has left already," Loki stated, assuming they were looking for Thor.

The pair separated silently, one headed to large wardrobe where hers and Thor's clothing was stored. Loki's eyes widened in apprehension when the other approached her and stood by her side.

"What is this?" She attempted to sound forceful, but her voice wavered. The guard threw open the wardrobe doors and immediately began pulling her clothes off the hangers.

"Wait!" Loki shouted, but as one hand went up, the guard next to her moved quick as a flash and fastened a shackle to her wrist as it shot out.

"What!?" Her wrist thrummed with a subtle vibration, and Loki knew there was powerful magic in this shackle. In a panic, she pried at it and failed to notice the matching cuff snapping around her other wrist until it was too late.

With both braces in place, the spell began to work. The pain that shot through Loki was immediate and severe. It knocked the breath out of her and drove her to her knees. She tried to scream, but her throat constricted and would let out no sound. The stabbing, searing pain that seemed to tear through her whole body, crowded out her senses and rendered her defenseless.

Barely able to see or hear, Loki could do nothing to stop the guard from lifting her and carrying her out Thor's room. Her head rolled around as she tried to catch a glimpse of Thor, of anyone who could help her, but the only people in the hall were more guards. She wanted to scream, but all she could manage was a low moan. No one even looked her way.

She was swiftly taken from the palace, out to a horse-drawn cart. Quickly, but gently, Loki was set down in the back. A sack, which presumably held her belongings was placed next to her. Then the door was shut and the cart began to move, leaving Loki curled in a ball, semiconscious from the pain. She groaned miserably as the cart lurched and bounced its way away from the palace, away from Thor. The pain from the cuffs was unbearable, but even that couldn't diminish the agony that was her heart being torn apart.

Through the fog of pain, Loki heard a clap of thunder, and her heart twisted further. Thor must know she'd been taken. He had told her how, when he got angry enough, the skies expressed his rage. Rain began to pelt the top of the carriage, leaking through the cracks in the shoddy wooden roof. A steady drip fell near Loki's head and she moved one hand underneath it. Thor's rage had sent the rain, and she caught it in her palm. Loki closed her fist over the drops that had collected there and cherished them as much as she could through the pain. The thunder grew fainter as the cart continued toward it's unknown destination, and Loki passed out, finally succumbing to the pain and despair.

A sudden jolt of the cart hitting a stone in the road jarred Loki awake. The first thing she noticed was that the pain had lessened tremendously. It was still sharp, but not quite as overwhelming as it had been. Sitting up as much as she could in the enclosed space, Loki also noticed that the rain had stopped. Her heart sank as she realized what that meant. They were likely far from the palace. Oh, she wished she knew where she was being taken to!

In the dim light streaming through the slits in the wood, Loki studied the bands around her wrists. A very powerful magic, indeed. The spell infused in them was well beyond her comprehension, and when she pried at them, it sent painful shocks through her fingers. She tried using her own magic against them, but the shackles prevented it. Though she could feel her power surging through her body, it went no further than her wrists. Whoever had made these had accounted for everything it seemed. Nothing she could do with them but tolerate the pain until they were removed.

Finally, after what felt like hours, the cart came to a stop. Loki tried to quell the nervousness that shot through her, but it was impossible. Heavy footsteps and muffled voices could be heard outside. Loki tried to peer through one of the slats, but she could see nothing but greenery. When the door to the cart was opened, she flinched and blinked at the bright light.

She'd been expecting a palace guard, but it was just a simply dressed man standing there. He looked older than any Asgardian she'd seen before, with gray hair peeking out from under his dark brown cap. He peered in at her and she stared back.

"Come on then. I haven't got all day," the man said finally. "This is where you get out." Then he picked up the bag of her belongings and disappeared around the side of the cart. Loki contemplated staying in the cart, but knew it would be pointless. Slowly, cautiously, she climbed out. The cuffs felt heavy on her arms, but the pain was manageable. She was able to move freely and think clearly.

Once she was out and on the ground, she looked around. They were in a clearing that was surrounded by trees in every direction. She could see nothing but sky past the treetops. Picturesque as it was, Loki couldn't help but feel claustrophobic. The trees cut off everything beyond them, giving the landscape a very isolated feel. As if this whole clearing was in a realm of it's own.

In the middle of the clearing was a small house. A cabin, really, made of wood and modest, though it appeared to be well built. It was surrounded by a short wooden fence, with two horizontal bars being held up every few feet by support posts. The fence stretched around a pasture behind the house and made for a nice courtyard in front, which contained a lovely garden with lots of bright blossoms. The whole scene seemed to sparkle with the dappled sunlight streaming through the trees. If Loki hadn't been dragged here against her will, she would have found it darling.

"Why am I here?" she demanded to the man, the cart driver, she assumed. He was standing near a gate with another man who was now holding the sack. Both stared at her. "Tell me why I am here!" she yelled when neither man answered.

"The king ordered me to bring you here. I didn't get a reason." The driver glanced at the other man and said, "She's all yours." He sidestepped a glowering Loki to close the back of his cart and hopped onto the front and drove away through the trees leaving Loki wondering what she was supposed to do now.

"You should come inside the fence," the man near the gate offered. Loki turned to glare at him. His face was open, with smiling blue eyes, and an unruly mop of brown curls atop his head. He was tall, perhaps an inch or two shorter than Thor, but slender where Thor was brawny. He had a straight thin nose and a red-tinged beard that was trimmed short. Under any other circumstances, Loki probably would not have hated him as immediately as she did now.

"I am not going in there! I need to get back to the palace." She replied, absently pulling at the bands on her wrists as she contemplated navigating the woods. She hissed quietly as the cuff shocked her again. Damn.

"Those are causing you pain, yes?" he asked, glancing down at her wrists. Loki didn't answer, but she didn't have to. It was evident on her face. "It will stop if you come inside the fence. Or so I've been told."

Curious, but fearing a trap, Loki hesitated. The man seemed to understand. He unlatched the gate and allowed it to swing open. "I will bring your things inside. You come in when you're ready."

She watched him walk inside the house with a narrowed gaze. When he disappeared from view, Loki ventured to the gate and stepped through it. As if a switch had been flipped, the pain stopped immediately. Relief coursed through her, and a delighted laugh fell from her lips. Such bliss to not feel that pain after so many hours being plagued with it! The cuffs were no more than simple silver bands now, and though they still gave her a nasty jolt when she pried at them, if left alone, they didn't trouble her at all.

Perfect, she thought as she stepped back through the gate, intending to head out the same direction the cart had gone. Hopefully it wasn't too far to the closest village. But no sooner than she'd gotten two feet from the fence, than the pain was back with a vengeance. Loki staggered and doubled over, struggling to keep on her feet. Once she got back inside the gate, the pain vanished once more.

"Oh," Loki sighed, trying to recapture her breath. So that's what the cuffs were for. This house, this serene landscape was no more than an elaborate cage. By placing the shackles on her back at the palace, they'd made sure she fully understood what she faced if she attempted escape. The farther away she was from this house, the worse the pain became.

Was this Odin's work, or the man who lived here, Loki wondered.

"Is that any better?"

Loki startled at the man's voice behind her and she spun around to face him.

"Did you do this? Why have you trapped me here? You will take these off immediately and let me go!" Loki thrust out her arms, offering the cuffs to him. The man took a step back and held up his hands.

"Whoa. Calm down," he said. "Those bangles are not my doing. I am a painter, not a sorcerer." His voice was deep, melodic, and Loki felt a faint tingling in the back of her head when he spoke. Odd though not unpleasant, but she was too irate to pay any attention to it.

"Who did this then? Odin? For what reason? Why am I here?" Loki peppered him with demanding questions.

The man smiled sympathetically. "Why don't you come inside? It is more comfortable, and I can tell you what I know."

Loki scoffed. "I am not going anywhere but back to the palace."

"Suit yourself. I was just going to have some tea. You're welcome to join me anytime and we can talk." And with that, the man turned on his heel and walked back to the house. Loki's feet moved forward two steps before she realized it and stopped herself.

"Wait! You will answer my questions!" Loki called out furiously, but the man was already inside. He'd left the door ajar, an invitation that Loki had no intention of accepting, no matter how curious she was. She frowned. Sure, the house and its owner seemed harmless, but the thought of following him inside just felt wrong. Once inside, she would be at his mercy, unable to run if necessary.

Besides, any step that was not heading back to the palace was one in the wrong direction. Leaving the man be for now, Loki decided to see what she could do to help herself.

The gate hung open, taunting Loki. It also appeared harmless, but Loki knew more than anyone that looks were often deceiving. She took a step toward it, testing. Waiting for the pain to return. When it didn't, she took another step, putting one foot through the gate. Nothing. It wasn't until the precise moment that both feet passed over the threshold of the gate that the pain started. And it disappeared the second she put one foot back inside the fence. No leeway at all.

Perhaps there was another gate, an opening that wasn't as guarded. She decided to walk the perimeter of the fence. Survey the land and search for a way out, search for anything that may help her. If she found nothing, then she would consider hearing what the man had to say.

The fence was maintained past the house and gardens, around a good-sized pasture where two cows and a horse grazed. A breeze cooled her skin as she walked in the sunlight. Birds chirped and trilled in the woods surrounding the field, and Loki could hear the rush of a stream just beyond the trees. The tranquility was a stark contrast to the turmoil that was raging inside Loki.

Every few fence posts, Loki would attempt to cross through. She bent and slipped easily between the two horizontal bars. It was no use, the pain visited her every time, exactly as it had at the gate. Before long, tears of frustration and agony streamed down her face and she almost couldn't bear to keep going.

By the time Loki made it back to the house, she was shaking and sweating and feeling utterly trapped. She made it to a shady tree and collapsed against the trunk, willing herself to relax and cool off. Eventually, the shaking subsided and she could feel the breeze do its job.

When she opened her eyes again, the man was there, leaning against that cursed fence, watching her. Loki stood and approached him.

"You need to go to the palace and get the prince. I've been taken from him and am being held here against my will. You say this is not your doing, so you must help me."

"I can't do that." He replied, and the deep dulcet tones of his voice reverberated inside Loki's head. She felt her tension ease, and although his words infuriated her, she was unable to muster up the energy to be angry. It must be the exertion, Loki thought, tiring her out.

"You refuse? Then you are complicit in this crime. You will answer for it, I assure you."

"I am not complicit. I've been forbidden to go near the palace, or to contact the prince."

"Forbidden?" Loki sighed. Her mind swam and that same tingling had returned. While pleasing, it was getting harder to ignore. "Please, just tell me what is going on. Who are you?"

"My name is Hymir. I am a painter, though mostly by hobby. I sell my work when I need to, but I don't often need to. I get by just fine on my own. I enjoy my solitary life here. I don't bother anyone and no one bothers me." Loki stared at him while he spoke, entranced. He really was handsome. Even though she hated him, she couldn't deny it. His eyes were the same deep blue as the Jotun sky, though they were warm and friendly and everything Jotunheim wasn't.

"Everything was fine until two days ago when one of the King's messengers shows up with a scroll." He frowned and Loki did too. Two days ago. That had been the day after Thor returned from his hunt. She'd spent that day happily frolicking in bed with him, making love, talking, and learning the exquisite torture that was being tickled. She'd been happy and in love and completely unaware of how her life was about to change.

"What did the scroll say?" Loki asked, curiosity bubbling inside her, replacing her ire so subtly that she didn't even notice it.

"Um, just that I would be receiving a houseguest. You, I presume. Your name is Loki, is it not?"

She nodded. "How long am I meant to stay here?"

"As far as I can tell, indefinitely."

"No!" she shouted, and she remembered her anger. "I don't belong here! I am Thor's..." she trailed off, unsure what to call herself. They were not betrothed, or even officially courting. Lover sounded too intimate. Property, too impersonal. Finally, she blurted, "I belong to Thor."

"According to the scroll, the prince is the one that requested you be sent here."

"That isn't true!" Loki cried. The prince wanted her sent away two days ago? That can't be right. Two days ago Thor was...actually, Loki couldn't remember anymore. That's strange, she thought and tried to focus. Laughter, she remembered laughter and Thor's face close to hers as he moved inside her. But the entirety of the memory eluded her now. Why couldn't she think?

"In any case, I'm pretty sure you're stuck here. The All-Father was explicit in his instructions that I make sure you remain here, though your bracelets there do a decent job of that on their own."

The bracelets. Loki stared down at them in horror. The magic must be stealing her memories! No! They couldn't steal Thor from her. And she refused to forget who she really was.

"Please, you have to listen to me. I belong to Thor. I love him and he loves me. He brought me from..." Loki had to struggle to remember. Where had she first seen Thor? It was dark and cold, an ice world. Her world! Jotunheim. "From Jotunheim. These bands, they're making me forget. I can't forget!"

"Loki, calm down," Hymir reached out to steady her, but Loki cringed away.

"NO! Stay away!" Panic seized Loki as the realization dawned on her. "You, you're making it happen!" His presence was speeding up the process, and every word he spoke took more memories. The thought of how quickly they may fade if he touched her, made Loki's heart race even faster.

Hymir stepped back, holding his hands up. "I'm not doing anything."

"Ahh, stop talking! Go away!" Loki shouted, covering her ears to keep out his voice. That vibration she heard when he spoke was the magic working. She recognized it now. The magic was erasing her memories. Erasing Thor. She turned and fled, trying to keep Thor's face in her mind. His sparkling eyes, blue as the midday sky, his wide smile, his fuzzy cheeks and how they bristled against her skin. She held tight to the memory of when he'd whispered "I love you" to her the first time, when he thought she was sleeping. When she said it back, even though he was asleep.

But she couldn't get far enough. Hymir, who didn't understand what was going on, called after her. It was no use. Dropping to her knees, her hands flew across the ground, searching for something. She found a twig and used it to scratch out Thor's name in the dirt.

Thor.

She knew him. Didn't she? Who was he? She pictured the sun, a gleaming gold so bright that it made her squint and burned her. She felt the tingling in her skin. He'd touched her. He'd loved her. She loved him.

Remember!

"Loki, what are you doing? What's wrong?" Hymir crouched next to her.

"Go away!" Loki yelled and shoved him hard. He fell into the dirt, his boot landing on the letters she'd just scratched. Those letters. T, H, O, and R. They spelled love. Or home. Loki couldn't remember, but she knew she had to. Her life depended on it.

But she couldn't. Loki pushed deep into her memories, but it was as barren as a frozen wasteland. Had she ever even seen a frozen wasteland? She hoped not. She didn't like ice, or cold. Warmth was much preferable.

Warm. Thor was warm in every way. His face flitted once more across her mind and she tried hang onto it, but it was gone.

No!

The dirt wasn't enough. It wasn't permanent. Frantic, Loki grabbed the twig and snapped it in half. With the sharp edge, she began to gouge the skin on her left arm. Using the wood shard as a blade, she carved the letters into her flesh. Blood ran freely down her arm, as tears did down her cheeks, staining her skin with the evidence of her heartbreak.

"Loki! Stop! You're hurting yourself!"

Loki looked at him through her tears. Hymir. She knew him. Did she hate him? Why did he look so concerned? Why did her arm hurt?

She glanced down at her arm, blood and dirt mingled around the letters. THOR. Had she done this? The bloody stick was still clutched in her other hand. Sobbing, she flung it to the ground it as if it burned her and began to rub at her arm, trying to wipe the blood away.

"Come on." Gentle arms wrapped around her shoulders, which were heaving with sobs. "You're hyperventilating, Loki. Let's go inside. I'll clean your arm and bandage it. Get you some tea, and maybe some food."

Sadness and grief twisted inside Loki's heart, but she didn't know why. It felt as if someone she loved had died, but that made no sense. She hadn't ever loved anyone. She ached, from her arm all the way down to her soul and she was more tired than she ever remembered being. But she didn't remember anything now. That should probably bother her, but it didn't. She allowed Hymir to lift her and guide her back to the house.

As they walked, Loki's sobs eased, her tears dried and her heartache faded to a paralyzing numbness. She noticed nothing of the small living area they passed through as Hymir led her to the kitchen. The sting barely registered as the water sluiced away the blood and dirt from her arm. The letters there meant nothing to her, nor did the words that Hymir spoke as he tended to her arm.

"I know this is difficult, Loki. It is for me, as well. Neither of us asked for this, but we have to make do. You can't hurt yourself like this again. I don't have many resources, and I can't take you to a healer if you're badly injured. You have to promise me you won't do this again."

When the hypnotic thrum of his voice stopped, Loki looked up. Hymir's deep blue eyes were watching her expectantly, as if waiting for an answer. She nodded slowly, unsure if that was the correct response. It must have been, because he smiled and continued talking. Loki closed her eyes again and allowed herself to be lulled once more by the timbre of Hymir's voice.

"Good. Good. There, that should do for now. The cuts don't seem too deep, so they should heal on their own. I don't know about scarring. We'll have to wait and see about that."

Scars? What was he talking about? Loki was so sleepy. She felt herself being lifted and she snuggled instinctively into the warm body that cradled hers. She clung to it and the familiarity that made her smile. Her fingers crept up by reflex to his shoulder to twine into golden hair, but there was none. She frowned and wondered why she'd expected it in the first place.

Hymir laid her down on a soft bed, and Loki felt a rumble of laughter move through him when she refused to let go. The chill she felt when the comforting warmth moved away frightened her and she whimpered when something tried to pry her fingers apart.

"Okay, Loki. I'll stay."

Loki didn't hear the words, but she sighed happily when arms wrapped around her. Settling contentedly in their warm security, she slept.

And when she dreamed, she dreamed of a great lion, with a golden mane and giant paws. It stood on a rocky cliff, high above Loki's head. A storm raged around them, clouds blackening the skies and wind whipping Loki's hair and the lion's mane around. Rain lashed at her face as she tried to keep her eyes on the lion, but the rain had caused a flood in the ravine she stood in and the water rose rapidly. Loki looked down in dismay as it lapped at her ankles. She blinked and it was at her waist. Terror gripped her. She knew the lion would save her, but when she looked up, it was gone. A great roar shattered the air, just as the water closed in over Loki's ears. Had it been the lion, or just another thunderclap? Then, completely submerged and unable to breathe, Loki knew it was neither. There was no lion, no thundering storm. The sound had been the rush of water, come to bring her to her end.

She awoke gasping for breath, but with no memory of the dream. A hand rubbed soothing circles into her back and smiling, Loki fell back into an untroubled sleep.


Apologies for how long that took! I had a busy weekend. As a condolence, I give to you the longest chapter yet. And quite possibly the saddest and hardest to write. My poor babies. I torture them so. All in the name of good story-writing though!

There was some confusion in the last chapter about whether or not my Odin is part Frost Giant, as he is in mythology. I'm veering off movie verse more than mythology here, so let's assume for this story, he is NOT part Frost Giant. He's a bigot, not a hypocrite.

Also, I know I have a drawing for my icons, but I do have an actual face claim in mind as I write for my Loki. It's an actress named Olga Kurylenko, who I think is gorgeous and makes a nice female Loki.

(take out the spaces around each period and after the com and the dashes of course, freaking paranoid website. I'll put the links in my profile also, just in case these don't work.)

This one is my main image 25 . media . tumblr . co-m /tumblr_ltild3dh8P1qbhsq8o1_500 . jpg

But these are nice too.

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25 . media . tumblr . co-m /23383d035b61187c6353bd6943a00de4/tumblr_mnqfbqyuO S1rnjet9o1_1280 . jpg

Also, Richard Madden is who I am picturing as Hymir.

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You all know what Thor looks like already!

Again, thank you all for reading and reviewing!