Chapter Twenty-Five
"Sorry?"
She shrugged with a smile, afraid the dream would be spoiled if she told this man inside her head that he was only inside her head as a dream. She wanted it to last. As soon as she'd wake up, she would see the ill Jasper again and she didn't want that.
He got off the bed, his eyes roaming the bed and ground. He noticed at least a dozen dirty wraps, all yellow from a fought infection. There were needles on the bed, all used. The bottle of morphine was empty. The tube which had the strong antibiotic was squeezed tight for the last bits to come out. He also noticed many other wraps, which were less dirty. The smell of disinfectant filled both their noses.
It was uncommon to feel pain in your lower belly and smell anything in a dream, but Alice sure did both. She brought her hand to her stomach and squeezed her eyes shut as sharp pains radiated through her belly to her back. When the pain subsided, she saw that Jasper's hand was playing with his loose hanging belt.
"You never answered my question, America," he said strictly. "Are you okay?"
"Let me be," she whispered, not liking his strictness. "Let this moment last for a-ahh!"
She bent over on the bed, her nose almost touching the sheets as the pain became unbearable. Dreams were not supposed to hurt.
"Alice," he whispered in shock, getting on the bed and leaning over to her.
"I thought," she said through gritted teeth, "that in dreams, one cannot feel any physical pain."
With deep breaths, she forced herself upright. He sat on the bed with his arms on his knees. He smiled softly, leaning forward.
"In dreams, one cannot feel any physical pain," he agreed.
"Okay," she said, "okay, then how is it that I do?"
"In dreams, one also cannot touch anything in that dream. No objects, no food, no people and if you try, you instantly wake up."
She nodded her head quickly in agreement.
He brought his hand up and pulled her ear with a smile. She flinched at the touch and stared at him wide eyes. Now he would disappear. He ruined her dream.
"I'm still here, darling," he said, his full Southern accent giving away that he was from Texas. "You're not dreaming."
His hands came to hers and he took the gun from her.
"You did well. How about I check if the area is clear so you can take care of that?"
His finger pointed at her stomach and she realized her pain came from her overly full bladder.
Before she could ask what he meant, he was already pushing away the side table from the front door. He opened the door and carefully stepped outside into the dark, new evening. He reappeared in about a minute, during which Alice had looked around her strangely to figure out if her dream had really been not a dream all along.
"Coast is clear. Take a leak before you explode."
Her mouth dropped in shock. He however didn't seem very bothered by his words, but instead was putting the non-buckle end through the buckle opening of his belt. He watched her with he scowl as his fingers worked.
"Are you sure the coast is clear?" she asked, distracting herself from the image of what lay behind those pants.
"One can never be sure, Alice, but it's either that or the bathroom."
She nearly vomited in her mouth if she was forced to get inside the bathroom again so she got off the bed and slowly walked. She hadn't realized how badly she needed to go.
"Thanks," she muttered. "For checking the area. I'll be back quick."
"You did the same thing for me."
"What do you mean?" she asked with wide eyes. She certainly never checked any area's for the enemy.
"You helped me. Or was that a vague dream and did I unbuckle my belt during my sleep for no good reason?"
"I-I-I have no idea what you're talking about!" she said, moving through the front door with a flaming face.
When she was at a fairly distance, she muttered softly another prayer.
"Lord, please don't make this situation harder for me than it already is. Grant me the strength to forget what I saw."
Her eyes shut when she found a bush, dropped her pants and got on her knees to relieve herself. It was the best feeling she ever felt and after a minute her ankles and calves throbbed. She took deep breaths and pressed out the final drops and vowed with herself not to drink anything anymore ever. That way, she'd never have to pee again and endure such pains.
No, indeed, never again.
She entered the cottage with her head low, but Jasper caught her shoulders. She looked up in surprise. Also, she was battling sleep at the moment. Each time she thought she'd fall into it, she saw his eyes.
He brought his grateful eyes to Alice's and shook his head.
"You haven't slept, America."
She shrugged, looking around.
"You wanted to leave at six," she said with difficult, her dizziness causing her to sway. "Did you need to be somewhere by now?"
He laughed out loud, steering her body to the bed.
"Honestly, why would think about those things now? Sleep. Okay?"
"B-But-"
"No arguing, America," he said, allowing her to get on the bed. "Sorry, the bed is damp on this side. Crawl a bit to the end."
As she did, he turned the pillow around and put it on the foot's end of the bed. It was clever, because there the bed was not damp from sweat.
Her head touched the pillow and instantly her eyes started to drop heavily shut. She didn't open them. She brought her legs up and lied in fetal position. Her sleep didn't come instantly. First she felt a sheet or coat being placed around her body.
She was aware that any minute now sleep would come. Even her breaths were calmer and deeper. Before she did get into the unconscious slumber, she felt a dip in the bed and a soft touch on her cheek.
A kiss.
Her hand went between the pillow and her cheek. She sighed in exhaustion, because the war was everywhere. Even inside her head. Even while she slept.
She was gasping in the bathroom, seeing again all the beheaded bodies. Her eyes went over their limbs, fingers, the blood. There was so much blood. It covered the floor.
She scowled, because inside the blood she saw another scene. It changed to exploding heads. First there was a face, with eyes, a nose and a mouth. But then shots filled the air and the face shattered into a million pieces. She felt many of them on her face and in horror she realized this had happened to her before. It was in another place, another life, another time.