~Announcement~
Hey guys! I have nothing to say. Move along. R&R and don't forget to comment on my mistakes!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own OHSHC or else I would've included Mei in the anime. (Mei's awesome!)

Warning: Profanity and some suggested themes. They are not as polite and dainty like Sakura blossoms in the Spring. They are more like your younger siblings from the depths of Hell. :P

Chapter 5:

Welcome to the Black Magic Club! No, I didn't read that wrong... (CELEBRATORY CHAPTER FOR REACHING 1,000 VIEWS!~)

"Me too! Then I have art club, but I can skip half of it if I want, so...at 3:35, do you think the Black Magic Club is still going to be opened?"

"I think if we run there. I mean, they would let ANYONE in since they're SUPER lonely. It's worth a shot!"

"Okay then! It a plan! Explore the school while I'm in art club or something! Or...You can join the hos-" I clammed my hand over her mouth, and making a "what the hell are you thinking" face.

"No! It's a HOST CLUB, not a HOSTESS CLUB. Hey, that's an idea! Why not we make a HOSTESS CLUB?! I KNOW THE EXACT PERSON I NEED IN THIS CASE!" I whipped out my phone, called Renge because I don't want to walk, and I told her my idea.

"THAT'S WONDERFUL! I'LL MAKE PLANS WITH THE SUPERINTENDENT TO SEE IF WE CAN OPEN A CLUB, THEN WE HIRE PEOPLE, OR LADIES! EEEE! THIS IS GOING TO BE SOOOO MUCH FUN!" I giggled with her, and introduced her to her equally crazy person that's my friend. Let's just put a timeskip to avoid any squealing and fangirling complaints.

~TIMESKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY COSTCO: "We have unlimited free samples and really good hot dogs. Let the mom stampede begin."

Where's Asuka or whatever her name is? It's 3 minutes til the time we meet up! God, I'm really bad at remembering stuff...

"SEIIIIKKAAAA! WATCH OUT!" Huh?

"OOF! FUCK DUCKS!"

"OUCHIE MOTHERFUCKER!" I found Ayuka (AYUMI!) on top of me, in an awkward position that WAS NOT SEXUAL! Wait wut? (She was running and tripped, papers flew on your face, she pushed you down. Hope you have back pain.) And I hope you die of insanity! And oh.

"Sorry! I was running and stuff! Help me pick up these resumes I wrote for us!" The fuck?

"Resumes?"

"Yeah, in case if they ask about us! Remember, I help you with Hikaru and you help me with Nekowaza!~" Ah shit. I just realized that Ayusi (AYUMI!) is the girly version of me.

"Okay! Shall we go, milady?" I kneeled down, holding out my hand. She smiled and put her hand in mine, picking up her dress.

"Of course, Lord Dickhead!~"

"I shall guide you through, Milady Asshole!~" We both giggled and I pushed the door, seeing the Black Magic Club host club like, but more gothic and black. I like it already! (*sweatdrops*)

"Welcome." Ayume (Whatever. Not gonna help you with names.) was fangirling hardcore and I was sweatdropping, but excited for what's going to happen. We stood there like idiots, as the Black Magic Club stared in awe. Nekowaza stood up, and approached us. I stood in front of Ayuki in case if she has a fangirl attack.

"Y-Y-You girls are not going to run away? Aren't you scared one bit?" We both shook our heads and I handed him our resumes, which appeared magically in my hands. Wait, how did Ayuke get info about me?!

"Wait. Hand me the Light of Death, please." One of the club members handed him a flashlight, and Nekowaza turned it on, and-GAH! FUCK BRIGHT LIGHTS!

"IT'S YOU! THE CREATURE OF NEUTRALITY! WHAT GREAT DEED SHALL YOU PUT ME TO TASK?!" He bowed down, kissing my feet. LITERALLY.

"Uh...No deed what so ever? Ayuso-"

"Ayumi."

"Uh huh. And I want to join your club. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't know how she got information about me that is horrificly incorrect, but these are resumes. Just read Ayume's-er, AYUMI'S, resume. Since she incorrectly did mine, I'll tell you straight from me." He nodded, and turned off the flashlight. Nekowaza stood up, and told us to go to this room behind the curtain. We followed and OMG! HIS OFFICE IS SOOOOO gothic but modern.

"Please sit. Now, you want to join the Black Magic Club, correct?"

"Yes."

"Y-Yeah..."

"You must follow the club rules in order to stay in the club. It's quite simple, actually. 1. Always wear your black cloak during club hours unless emergencies (i.e. ripped, missing, etc.); then must hand over 9000 yen for damage. It's made of silk from India, so don't damage it. 2. First things first you must perform the newcomers' ritual which takes place here at 1:13 AM in the bell tower at Friday. If you don't attend it, you will ruin our reputation and cannot come back unless you are coming to buy our goods. 3. You will have your own Beelzenef doll, used for our annual puppet shows and communication. If lost, it is irraplacable. You can also use it as a voodoo doll if needed. 4. Club hours are at 3~5, and events like Halloween must be taken seriously and you must partisapate or else you'll lost your privileges of coming to annual events, which are very entertaining. There are positions such as secretary, who takes notes of rituals and events, also recipes. Treasurer counts our funds and makes the posters and sells our mechandise and goods. Vice President plans all the events each week and gets to choose themes and decorate. Now, the most important rule is 5. Take fair warning though, if you think it's too hard to answer or too hard to promise, leave immediately. If you aren't sure, we have a free 1-day trial where you try out our club. Are you ready, Creature of Neutrality and Pretty Virgin?" Ayumi blushed, and gulped deeply.

"Y-Yes, Nekowaza-Sempai."

"Yes."

"Good. Because you passed! Welcome to the club! Remember to attend our newcomers' ritual!~" He started doing a weird swoochy dance with Beelzenef, of course. Now, since Author Lady didn't come AT ALL TO HELP ME THIS CHAPTER, this is the end. AUTHOR LADY COME BACK!

~Author's Note~

I'm back! After 500000000 centuries!~ I know it's been what, 2 MONTHS?! THAT'S A LONGGGG TIME! I have a flute test to take next week, so wish me luck!~ Also, I am NOT going to put translations anymore because 1 it wastes time and 2 it makes no sense. So I MIGHT bring back translations back, but I'm not sure. Anyways, HAPPY 1,000 VIEWS!~ I KNOW THIS IS LATE BUT WHO CARES!~ This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. BYE!~