Chapter Thirty

"We're almost out of Berlin. I made calls to my friend, but he's not picking up his phone."

"Is he alright?"

"I don't know, but we can't wait for him. You can still rest for a few hours."

"I'm up for a walk until we're out of this target zone," she said. "Rather now then later."

She checked her medical supplies. Still plenty of gauze, tape, band-aids and disinfectant. Her morphine and needles were all used up. The last items she also had enough of were suture needles and thread. Having those was very useless, because she was uncertain anyone would want sutures without the anesthesia.

"Why did you refuse the morfine?" she asked with a scowl. "It was unexpected to refuse it."

"I did not trust you. For all I knew, you would inject poison inside me."

"Uh...well, perhaps the first time we met. What about yesterday? You refused the morfine again. O-Oh...silly me. You still didn't trust me."

"By then I did trust you. I wanted you to save it. In case you got injured and needed it. Guess I lost that battle. Have you got any painkillers left?"

"Why? Do you need any?"

She went to check her bag, making sure she looked inside all pockets. Perhaps she'd missed some aspirins somewhere.

"No, silly girl," he said, mimicking her own words. "I meant for you, in case you need them."

Her hands stopped moving and she felt strangely warm for being thought of.

"I haven't got anything left," she admitted. "Let's just hope nothing horrible happens."

"You're allowed to stay optimistic. I cannot. Once we're out this cottage, I'm a soldier again."

"Yes, I understand."

"So I apologize beforehand if I cause you any harm. It's only because I'm trying to protect you."

"Yes, I get it."

"Ready to go?"

She nodded as she put on the Nazi coat and her backpack.

The air outside was damp but much fresher than the air inside. She took a deep breath and followed Jasper. It was still dark outside, and it would remain dark for a few more hours.

She did not like being outside, so close to danger. Not that she thought it was very safe inside, for a bomb could easily destroy the entire cottage at once. But still, a roof over one's head still made a difference. She only had a dark sky above her head with faint stars. The dust made the sky very grey. It was an immediate result of the war, such dreary views. One day she hoped to see the stars shine brilliantly from perhaps a farm, where there were no city lights interfering with that shine.

The walk lasted for hours, when Jasper motioned to a fallen tree where they both sat on. He gave her one of those bars again and placed his canteen of water in between them.

"You haven't said a word," he told her. "Something wrong?"

She shrugged, taking a bite. Her stomach grumbled, but she did not feel hunger.

"May I...apologize? I shot your friends and I've been thinking for a while that I never even apologized to you."

Alice did not comment, to which Jasper gained courage to say, "I'm truly sorry for the tragic shooting. It was a brutal meeting and in a flash, you lost so much. Even your team."

"My team?" she said coldly. "They're alright. I'll see them after the war."

She knew she was too optimistic now, but she didn't like to show her weak side. Hearing his apology somehow saddened and angered her, so she tried to remain cool.

"You won't," he said. "We shot them. Six men, two women. That was your team, wasn't it?"

The air drew out of her body, leaving her breathless.

"I'm very sorry. They had their guns pointed at us and were about to shoot. We're trained to aim and shoot quicker."

Without her team, Alice was all alone. She had nobody left.

"And I'm sorry we shot Aro," she said monotonously. "Apparently, you're not trained to aim and shoot quicker than us."

She could not meet his gaze. Instead, she focused on finishing the bar, taking a sip of water and standing on her feet again before Jasper was even finished.

"Are you ready to go?" she snapped, not looking at him, because the atmosphere felt too tense.

"Yes," he said.

Obviously Alice was very hurt to find out so roughly that also her team was dead. All she now wanted was get out of the war as quick as possible.

Insomnia of a previous life was slowly killing her, but she wanted to stay strong for the man she once loved. It was his spirit keeping her upright in that moment. Without his love, she would tumble over and never get off the ground. Then soon she'd die of a natural cause or somebody would kill her.

She would stay strong for her Jacob.

"Wait," he said, his eyes up in the sky.

Then Alice heard it too.

"Duck," he said, dragging her with him on the ground beside a tree.

She shut her eyes tightly, wondering if the bombers were up there. The idea of being killed beside a killer seemed appalling.

"Nein, fick..." he hissed, his voice frustrated. "I thought it's my friend, but it's not. We've been spotted."

"W-What do y-you mean?" she asked, looking up to see a helicopter starting to descend. "I don't...d-don't want t-to be t-t-tortured."

He hushed her.

"Shoot me," she begged, taking hold of her thick coat.

His eyes came down to hers, watching her darkly.

"Please?" she whispered, tears gathering in her eyes.

"No," he snapped, looking up again.

Three Nazi's were staring down on them from quite a distance, their guns ready to shoot. They were probably checking whom they were up against with.

Jasper started waving at them and Alice wanted to scream at him to stop doing that.

"I'm gonna die anyway," she said.

"It's a risk you took when you joined war."

"Then give me the gun and I'll do it myself."

He took hold of her upper arms and shook her once.

"Stop it," he snapped. "I thought you promised me not to act suicidal again."

"That's before I knew you and your kind killed everyone I ever knew. You left me with nothing! I still have the poison. I'll take the poison."

"It was to kill or get killed. Getting killed is not an option for me. And you already figured out why."

She watched him in surprise, never saw it coming that he'd admit that was on one some importation mission.

"I'm gonna die anyway," she said only this time, she meant to ask also what the use was for her to stay alive at this point.

She was going to get captured.

"Trust me. Nod when I nod. Shake your head when I shake mine. And don't speak. No English, no German, nothing. Can you do that for me?"

Her lips parted, still a thousand questions in her head.

"Don't do this to me, sweet Alice. I need you. Your death is not something that is going to happen to me."

She shook her head, not understanding, but the helicopter was very close now.

"Do I keep this on?" she whispered, pointing at the coat with the swastika emblem on the sleeve.

"Yes. You're a Nazi now."