When he woke up after the explosion, Noatak could not believe that he was alive. He looked blindly in the sea for his brother, but he couldn't even open his eyes from the pain to see. He cried out for Tarrlok, but he received no answer. It didn't matter at that point because slowly Noatak lost consciousness and started to drown in the waves. He could make out the blackness of the water, the whiteness of the foam, and the redness of the blood before he completely blacked out. The second time he woke, he found himself on a deserted shore somewhere. He had no idea where he was, but he didn't care. His brother tried to kill them both, and the sea had spat him out- not once but twice. Noatak was sure that the world was mocking him. He wanted death, and he was given life as a punishment. A better man would see it as a good omen. Noatak knew it was probably the perfect punishment for his crime- to have to live with his guilt and shame.
From that moment, Noatak determined that he should not return to Republic City, if ever. Instead, he would return to his homeland- back to the Northern Water Tribe. He didn't want to return to his village though. He wanted to start new in the capital city of the Northern Water Tribe. He could live with his regrets out there. For a week, Noatak managed to heal himself and live off the unknown coast well enough that when he saw a ship headed north, he stowed away on it. When the boat docked, Noatak stole some new clothes, used his birth name, and started a job working on a fishing boat. It was good enough for him to begin his modest life.
Noatak grimaced as he slowly roused himself from bed and reached over to the chair he placed his tiger sealskin coat on. He always woke up this early- before dawn even broke. He lived in a small one-room apartment on the bay of the Northern Water Tribe capital. The capital no longer was the fortress of ice it was during the Hundred Year War. Instead, trade opened up the once isolated nation. Noatak's apartment building was one of the many cheaply made buildings quickly put up in the boom of the fishing industry of the Northern Water Tribe. Several identical buildings surrounded most of the docks. They looked alike with their corrugated metal and cement- incredibly crude compared to the old elegant homes carved of ice. Noatak noticed no one argued over this development though since this gave way for the comfort of living in heated homes thanks to their trade with the Fire Nation for coal and other fuels. The city became akin to other cities of the world- industrial, crowded, and somewhat overridden with crime. Everyday the skies were blanketed by a little soot. Still, it wasn't as bad as Republic City, Ba Sing Se, or Capital City. No, all things considered, the Northern Water Tribe capital had clearer skies than any of the other cities. Noatak noted that the skies looked its clearest in the crisp weather of the morning just like now.
Noatak walked up to the docks. He worked at the same fishing boat he first found work on over a year ago. He liked the physical work. He liked how it kept him in shape- what for, he didn't know. He no longer needed to keep up the kind of physique necessary for his previous venture. Besides, the fishing boats afforded anonymity. No one expect Noatak to divulge any information about his life. All of his crewmates just knew his name and that he was a good worker- good enough for them. The only thing Noatak disliked about his new job was that he was required to waterbend. Noatak would have never taken the job if it weren't for the fact that captain told him that he only needed waterbenders since his crew largely consisted of non-benders. Most of the waterbenders in the Northern Water Tribe took on better and less dangerous jobs like in the hospitals, water treatment, or even the military. Only men with death wishes or no other job prospects took this job despite the good pay- Noatak took the job for both reasons. Noatak initially scoffed at the prospect at bending again when he had just promised himself never again after healing himself. Eventually, the rhythm of his schedule and work settled in for him, and he began to see himself slowly enjoying the rush of power he got from bending. He loathed this part of him.
"Hey Noatak!"
"Hey Nanuq," Noatak said.
Noatak ran up to greet the burly man standing by the ship waiting for him. Nanuq wore a similar tiger sealskin coat to Noatak's and a navy blue knitted cap that hid the bushels of graying hair. Nanuq was a fellow waterbender who had been a fisherman since he was a young man. Despite being a water tribe man through and through, he eschewed a lot of Northern Water Tribe tradition- be it through his less than traditional choice in hair style (he let his hair go loose and wild) or his choice in clothing (he stuck with styles that were more popular in Republic City when Noatak saw him off the boat). Nanuq looked like he may have gotten into a fight or two with a polar bear dog with scars running up his large arms and one that ran down from his forehead to the side of his nose. His frightening appearance, complete with an untamed beard, only made up a façade. Nanuq was probably the friendliest person Noatak had met. He was the first person to introduce himself to Noatak on the boat, which Noatak regretted the next morning with a terrifying hangover.
"Hear the news Noatak?" Nanuq said.
"What's going on?" Noatak asked.
"The city is going crazy because the Avatar is apparently moving here," Nanuq said.
Noatak's body seized at the words. He wished he still had that damn mask. Then he could just cast the look he wanted to make. His stomach started to turn a bit dwelling on the information.
"Is that true?" Noatak asked.
"It was in today's papers. Chief Unalaq plans on having some grand parade. Some shit like that," Nanuq said.
One of Noatak's eyebrows lifted at Nanuq's words. Nanuq immediately put his hands up in a bit of false surrender.
"Don't look at me like that. I'm just saying that it would have been nice if the Avatar would show up every once in a while instead of just paying attention to Republic City as if it's the only place in this Spirit damned world," Nanuq said.
"I doubt she'll be making any appearances at this dock," Noatak said.
"Never know. She might feel generous," Nanuq said.
Noatak scoffed. The Avatar would never show up to these docks. He repeated this in his mind. She would arrive at the old ice carved docks like every other visitor and would never see the loading docks seeming as she was the niece of the tribal leader. The Avatar's stay would be a sheltered one with only a few public appearances that Noatak would easily avoid. A year away from the girl helped Noatak forget certain things, but his failure still festered away at his mind. Her arrival would only make these feelings explode into larger problems. He needed to go the Spirit Oasis to think about this.
Noatak, on his days off, went to the Spirit Oasis where he would meditate and heal himself. He snuck into the well-guarded place ever since he arrived in the Northern Water Tribe. For all of his resentment of the Spirits, Noatak was actually a very spiritual man that regularly meditated- even back in his Equalist days. He did it more than he wanted to. However, after Tarrlok's death, he felt compelled to meditate and try to make some spiritual connection to his departed younger brother- as if this would make Tarrlok come back and help them reconcile. Even though the desired effect would never occur, Noatak found it useful to calm himself and remove his doubts. He felt more at peace with himself there than anywhere else.
Nanuq and Noatak boarded the fishing boat and immediately got to loading up crates and setting aside some of the nets. Their crewmate Sirmiq tossed a rope their way and gave the two a friendly wave. Sirmiq, like Nanuq, was another larger than life guy on ship. Sirmiq was from a family of non-benders that moved from Republic City to have their try at fishing. His father was Fire Nation, and his mother was Southern Water Tribe. Sirmiq never wore the sealskin jackets that most of the crew wore. Instead, he just wore some lightly fur-lined jacket with the sleeves rolled up to reveal the tattoo on his lightly tan skin. He was full of fight and always wanted to go out to grab a drink of fire ice after a day of work. Sirmiq was still the hardest worker on the ship even with his light-hearted attitude.
"I suppose you guys heard the news from the boss?" Sirmiq said.
"What does Pakak want this time?" Nanuq said.
"Something about how everyone is getting the day off tomorrow," Sirmiq said.
"What's the occasion?" Noatak said.
"The Avatar. Everyone around the docks is getting off to see the Avatar's arrival. Waste of time if you ask me. I need to be out at sea and putting some meat on the table. My wife doesn't come cheap, you know?" Sirmiq said.
The Avatar… She was coming up too frequently in today's conversation more than Noatak wanted to think about. Noatak could only hope that she would get easily bored of living in the Northern Water Tribe capital and leave back for the South. At least working on the fishing boats meant that he wouldn't have to see her.
"Hey Noatak, what's up? You look all out of it!" Nanuq said.
"Huh?"
Nanuq and Sirmiq waved their hands in front of Noatak's face. Noatak snapped out of his short daze of panic.
"Sorry. I was thinking about something," Noatak said.
"Better not be the Avatar. She's jailbait for you," Sirmiq said.
"She's not jailbait. What's she like, seventeen? Eighteen? This ain't Republic City. That girl is an old maid here," Nanuq said.
"Shit. I guess you've got a point. Well then, go ahead and bag the Avatar for us Noatak. You're the only one on this ship that was smart enough not to get married," Sirmiq said.
"Speak for yourself Sirmiq. I married a beautiful woman. Nigaq still looks as good as the day I met her. Plus she gave me a beautiful daughter and a strong son," Nanuq said.
Noatak ignored the two and went back to setting up nets with a couple of his other crewmates. Besides, the preposterous idea of the attractiveness and marriage eligibility of the Avatar was just one of many things he found incredibly disturbing. He met her face to face and knew better. The Avatar, though old enough to be considered eligible for marriage in the Northern Water Tribe, was far from the kind of woman that was ready for marriage. He would say immature, but that word was too strong for someone who was bold enough to go against him at his strongest so she could fulfill her duty as an avatar. He should have hated her like he used to when he donned that other identity. Something about time and space let him grow to tolerate her existence.
"Hey Noatak, we've got to make double quota today," Pakak said.
Noatak looked up at the captain in his wheelhouse. Pakak hung out from the window looking gruff as ever. Pakak came from the salt of the sea, and his personality reflected this. Pakak smoked like a native Fire Nation man and drank like his Water Tribe blood demanded it. When Noatak looked for a job, Pakak was the first captain to only ask for his willingness to work like a sea dog. Only a man devoted to his work on the seas would ask for someone's devotion like that. Noatak respected this.
"Is this because of tomorrow?" Noatak said.
"Just because I'm letting you lazy bums have the day off tomorrow doesn't mean that I'm going to let you slack off! There are tons of pentapuses and eel out there that are ours alone," Pakak said.
Pakak stuffed a cigar into his mouth and lit it with some spark rocks. Pakak flicked some of the ash towards Noatak.
"Hey, I'm not paying you to stand around there. Stop being so damn lazy and get the buoys set up," Pakak said.
Noatak grabbed some rope lying on the deck and slung it over his shoulders. The boat was already starting to leave the dock. Noatak took a look at the city disappearing under the horizon, still sleeping. This image was one of the few things that he could say that he loved. He liked imagining showing Tarrlok this and telling him, "See. I can love something too." Instead, Noatak stared at the seas and harbors by himself wondering if this was all the price of starting over again.