I don't love you/But I always will

"I feel so stupid." Blossom mumbled as they finally left the police station later that day. "How could this have happened? Why did this happen?"

"Blossom, we're not indestructible. And you're certainly not stupid." Brick replied, walking along next to her as they trundled along the sidewalk. "Unfortunately it's one of those shitty things that just could have happened to anyone..."

Blossom stopped shortly, looking around at Brick. Hearing Brick call them that had surprised her. He'd always had the air of a person who was untouchable. She concluded in her head that he was just trying to make her feel better, and turned on her heel.

"Well we're not. I mean, if I somehow managed to cut my hand badly while I was, I dunno - chopping carrots." She gave him a skeptical look - it would have to be some knife to get through his skin. "Hear me out - I cut my hand badly. It's bleeding and it's an open wound. How would you treat me?"

She cocked a brow at him. "I'd clean it up, give some local anesthetic and probably stitch it shut, if it was wide enough."

"Right - and someone who doesn't have Chemical X running through their veins comes in with the same injury, how would you treat them?" Brick queried and she still looked confused.

"Exactly the same way… Although, I work in internal medicine so I don't really do a whole lot of stitching people up -" Blossom replied.

"That is my point! Okay we're different, we're stronger - but when it comes down to it we aren't invincible. We react the same way as anyone else would to certain things - including Rohypnol…" Brick said gently, not wanting to say anything that might trigger her in anyway.

Blossom knew he was speaking sense, and just trying to make her feel better, but that didn't change how vulnerable she felt. How weak and vulnerable she felt. Maybe this was a normal reaction to what she had been through? She didn't know.

She just knew she didn't feel normal. Because this wasn't normal! It shouldn't have happened.

And she was pregnant. That man had done this to her while she was pregnant.

Granted, neither of them had known; she'd even had a drink - two drinks. Blossom was kicking herself for not catching on sooner.

She looked at Brick, who was staring at the ground as he walked by her side. She was going to have a baby. An actual real life baby. There was a little someone growing inside of her right now. It didn't seem like it could be real.

Thinking back to that night they spent together, she didn't remember them using any protection. It had been very spur of the moment.

But with Butch, she knew she had with Butch because they always used a condom. They'd both been pretty stringent about it. But no contraception was one hundred percent; it could have failed.

It had to be Brick's baby. It just had to be. What on earth would she do if it wasn't?

If the baby was Butch's, that would be it for her and Brick indefinitely. No maybe's, no possibilities; they would be done. Brick was struggling with her and Butch sleeping together - them sharing a child? He would not cope with that.

She'd also be tied to Butch for the rest of her life; having a child with someone was a bigger commitment than marriage. The thought made the nausea she already felt worse. He'd freak out, he may not even want anything to do with the child.

But Brick wouldn't do that. At least, she didn't think so...

Should she tell him now? But what did she say? 'I'm pregnant, and it's likely yours?' She couldn't do that to him. Perhaps it would be better to go for the scan in the morning, to make sure everything was okay before telling him. She knew full well that the Rohypnol they found in her bloodstream could harm the baby growing in her womb. This way she could also get a better gauge on dates too before telling him.

Brick gripped her hand tightly and pulled her close to him. "It could have happened to anyone Bloss." He said once more, looking down at her affectionately. "I'm just infuriated it happened to you."

She looked up at him with a saddened expression. She was so glad he was there. After everything, he was there. All their previous problems seemed minute right now.

"Thank you." She whispered.

Brick looked a little puzzled. "Thank you? For what?"

"For being here, after everything I've done." Her voice was quiet, expression pained.

"Don't be ridiculous." He frowned, holding her close to him again briefly. He let her go and they began to walk together towards Blossom's apartment. His hand was holding onto her tightly, and he gave it a loving squeeze. "Come on, let's get you home."

When they arrived at Blossom's apartment, the first thing Blossom was eager to do was get out of the clothes the police department had given her, and take a shower and brush her teeth now she was able to.

"I really want to shower. I'll be really quick, if that's okay?" Blossom muttered, pulling the sweater she was wearing off and hanging it over her arm.

"That's fine, of course. I'll just, err -" Brick said, looking around at her apartment to make a suggestion of something he could do while she showered.

"Don't go." She urged, coming across a little stronger than she intended to. "I mean, could you stay? If it's not too much trouble for you - you could sleep on the sofa or something…"

"I had no intention of leaving." Brick said firmly, and he saw her visibly relax, relieved she wouldn't be left alone.

"Oh, oh good. Okay. Well, I'll be really quick - help yourself to food, a drink, or whatever." She said, before disappearing into her bedroom to shower in her ensuite.

Brick couldn't stomach anything to eat even if he really wanted to. He was still trying to process the events of the past day himself. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became - but he knew he needed to stay as calm as he could manage. Wrecking Blossom's apartment wasn't going to help her - or at all improve the situation. He needed to be as collected as he could muster right now.

Instead of getting into a fit of rage, Brick sat down on the sofa and waited for Blossom to return from her bedroom.

The moment the warm water hit Blossom's face, it felt like reality hit her too. She closed her eyes and the image of Jeremy's ceiling entered her brain, making her breath hitch and her eyes widen. She froze, once again feeling the heavy weight of someone on top of her, as if she was back there in his apartment again.

Her hand reached out and the feeling of the cold tiles of the shower helped bring her mind back to now. Slowly she looked up. The shower faucet was above her, as was the white ceiling of her apartment. No pale blue lamp shade in sight.

Exhaling shakily, she reached for the sponge and some shower gel and began to scrub at her body. She needed to be clean; she needed him gone.

The pink puff remembered Brick was waiting outside. He was here, in her apartment. And she wanted more than anything to just be able to enjoy his company while they were seemingly getting along.

A small chuckle escaped her lips at how ridiculous that sounded in her head. Getting along. They were getting along because of the severity of the situation. Because in her hour of need she had called him, and he'd gone to her and been there.

Because he still cares, her brain reminded her, but Blossom pushed that thought aside. She couldn't act as if this was them hanging out. She had been drugged. And lost hours of her night. And Jeremy had had sex with her whilst she'd been incapacitated. Things could not have been more out of the ordinary; now was not the time to talk about their relationship, or lack of.

Nothing was normal right now, and she couldn't help but feel like nothing ever would be again.

She began to wash her hair, letting her long red locks drape around her like a comforting blanket. Tears leaked down her face as she relived everything that had happened; ending at the counsellor telling her she was pregnant.

She was pregnant. She had no idea how she felt about that. It felt like the news had been sullied, she couldn't even begin to try and figure out how she felt because what Jeremy had done was overshadowing everything.

But the pink puff did know she was worried. Worried about the tiny little person growing inside of her, concerned that the drug Jeremy had put in her drink had caused him or her any harm. That had to be a good sign.

Blossom pushed some hair out of her face, noticed how wrinkled and soft her hands were. She'd been in the shower ages. And Brick was waiting in the living room.

She heaved a big sigh and turned the shower off, reaching for a towel and throwing it around her, giving her hair a towel dry.

As she did, she took a glimpse at her stomach in her mirror. She wasn't sure if it was because she knew she was pregnant, or because she'd simply missed it, but there was the tiniest concave look about her tummy, almost as if she'd just put a bit of weight on over Christmas – which was probably what she'd brushed it off as.

But now she looked, it was definitely noticeable to her. But in clothing, not so much.

A baby. She was going to have a baby. It seemed absolute nonsense. She couldn't have a baby yet, she didn't have a partner, she worked all the time. How would she fit a baby into all that? This wasn't what she had planned, or how she had planned this to happen.

But then neither was breaking up with Brick. Her cheating on him. Sleeping with Butch. Everything that Jeremy had done.

She slipped her dressing gown on and towel dried her hair a bit more, chucking it up into a bun on top of her head and finding the pyjama top and pants that were underneath her pillow. After throwing them on, she quietly wandered back into the lounge where Brick sat.

"I was beginning to think you'd decided to go to bed or something." He said lightly, looking round at her. He tried to hide the concern in his face but he could tell Blossom saw it, clear as day.

"No, I'm fine. I guess I lost track of time in the shower." Blossom murmured. She sat down beside him on the sofa and stared blankly ahead. She guessed Brick had been doing the same thing this whole time; her TV was switched off.

"Don't tell anyone about any of this." She said, stirring Brick, who had been staring at her.

"I won't if you'd prefer it. But I think you should tell your sisters, at least. Bubbles may find out from Jeremy." Brick advised in a flat voice, concealing the anger he felt at the mention of his name.

"I don't think Jeremy will announce to my sister and the other dancers that he drugged me and raped me." Blossom said, shocking herself as she said the word aloud; she'd been struggling to even think that that happened to her, let alone verbalise it.

Brick took awhile to reply, as he ground his teeth and clenched his fists so tightly he almost drew blood. "No, but what I mean is his work will find out when TPD haul him in and he goes down for this."

Blossom pursed her lips together. "He won't go down for this."

Brick pulled a doubtful expression. "Yes he will. Why wouldn't he? You had so much evidence. You knew who it was, when it was, where it was, and they found Rohypnol in your bloodstream."

"It was trace amounts. And they didn't find much on me from the examination, you know DNA and stuff. There was some but, she said not a lot. Probably not enough. And he used protection. It seems like a losing battle. I don't want to prosecute. I don't want to press charges. I reported it, but only because it seemed like the right thing to do. I think that's all I want to do - and all I can do." Blossom said listlessly.

Brick's face was a picture of shock. He then scoffed lightly. "Blossom, don't be ridiculous. You've got to press charges. I mean what was the point in even going down there if you don't want them to actually do anything about it?! You can't just tell them what happened but that you don't want anything more done, they're the police, catching people like him is their job!"

"I know that... I went there because it seemed like what I should have done in that situation - it was the first thing I thought to do. That and call you... But - I don't think I can - I'm just not sure I can face anymore of it. I mean, if I press charges it'll possibly go to court." She breathed, shaking her head. "Having to potentially see him? And go over and over what happened? With judges and a jury? No. I don't want any of that. I can't deal with that. I don't want to see him again. And I don't want to be forced to analyze it constantly. I just want to move on, and get over it. And just pretend it never happened."

Brick shook his head now, as realisation dawned on him that she was serious. "But Blossom you can't pretend it didn't happen. And maybe court proceedings could give you some closure. Seeing him getting punished for what he did to you - and he needs to be punished!"

"You say that presuming it even does go to court. Did you know that out of every 1000 sexual assaults, 995 perpetrators walk free? That's such a small amount actually getting convicted." Blossom told him, and he screwed his face up.

"Who told you that?" He asked, irritated.

"It was in a support pamphlet the counsellor gave me." Blossom replied.

"Well, it doesn't sound very supportive." Brick grunted. "Blossom you have to press charges!"

"No, I don't. I just want to forget about it. And that's why I'm asking you to please not tell anyone. And don't nag me about pressing charges. I don't want anymore to do with it; I don't want to go down the police department again if I can help it, or go to court, or have to talk about what happened ever again. I mean it." Blossom instructed.

He was still shaking his head incredulously. "Fine." He said distinctly. "That's fine. Police would be too soft on him anyway. I'll take care of it."

Blossom gazed at him. "No! No, I don't want that." She made the mistake of hesitating slightly.

"If you won't let the police deal with him, I will. Simple as that." Brick's voice was determined.

"Brick, I don't want you going to prison because of him. And if you do anything - beat him up, or worse, you know that is where you'll end up. In prison. Just leave it alone." She warned him.

There was an edgy silence; Brick stared at her with a deep frown on his face. He didn't say anymore about it, but only because he'd already made a decision in his head. He had his ways and means.

"I have a hospital appointment tomorrow morning." Blossom said changing the topic.

"What for?" Brick asked, his voice troubled.

Blossom swallowed fearfully. "It's just an umm - a check up." She lied. It was easier to just tell him a lie now. She'd be honest when the time was right. She really needed to get the dates straight.

Though half of her was screaming at herself to just tell him. He would find out either way - whether he was going to be a father or an uncle, he would eventually find out, why not make it now?

This wasn't fair. She was expecting him to keep what had happened a secret for her, yet she wasn't even being one hundred percent honest with him.

What he didn't know for now couldn't hurt him. She would tell him, but she needed to be sure. How awful would it be to tell him the baby was his, and then a green eyed brunette arrived… Or even just to tell him she was pregnant but it could be Butch's. She felt like it would break him into pieces.

No, she had to be sure.

Brick was unsatisfied with this answer nonetheless. "I thought all of that side of things had been done? Are they worried about something?"

"No, no it's nothing to worry about." Blossom mumbled. "I think it's just to check in on me."

"Oh, okay. Do you want me to come?" He asked.

Blossom considered this; she imagined Brick and her walking into the maternity department of the hospital. That would go down well. "No, no it's fine. You have things to do. I mean, you've missed work today."

Brick scoffed. "So? Work is work. You know I have enough money to quit tomorrow and live pretty happily."

"That doesn't matter. You should go to work as normal. I want normality, okay? And normally, you wouldn't attend a hospital appointment with me would you?" She pointed out.

"Well, no. Normally I wouldn't be here right now either." Brick replied.

"That's true, but I want you here." Blossom said. "As long as you're happy to stay anyway. You will never know how grateful I am for you being here today." She leant forward, gently pushing a lock of red hair from his face.

He smiled back sadly at her.

Brick decided they should eat, so he ordered them Chinese takeout - all of Blossom's favourites. And then after they ate, Blossom realized how tired she was, so she reluctantly went to bed. Brick remained on the sofa, but deep down she wished he could have joined her. Just to have someone there beside her.

But, she couldn't sleep. And neither could Brick in the living room. An hour or so later, Blossom ended up joining Brick on the sofa. They turned the TV on, and watched 'Steel Magnolias' to make Blossom feel better, falling asleep side by side.

Blossom walked out of Townsville General hospital with quivering hands, clutching at a small screenshot of her ultrasound scan. In an almost trance like state, she'd been unable to stop looking at it since the photo had been handed to her.

She was 13 weeks pregnant, to a currently healthily developing baby; she looked down at the photo, examining the blurry black and white lines that shaped a small almost developed human. You could make out a nose, and little limbs, a belly, eyes. It was a real tiny person, growing inside of her.

The sonographer was pleased that everything was as it should be; but had recommended more regular scans to keep an eye on the baby's development. Blossom felt extremely lucky that so far everything seemed okay.

An overwhelming sense of love overcame her. This was her baby, and she would be a mother.

Her due date was 7th August, which meant the baby had been conceived mid November. Which made Blossom certain the baby was Brick's. They had spent the night together mid November, a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving. It added up.

She was incredibly relieved. If she was going to have a child with anyone it had to be him. She had planned to do so for years. She felt confident the baby was Bricks'; she'd even gone through all the dates with the nurse and sonographer, who had helped her do the math and pinpointed the day they'd spent together as the most likely time of conception.

Which meant she had to tell him. She didn't like the thought of hiding it from him. But at the same time, she didn't want to face or see anyone.

Could she even tell him it was 100 percent his? Yes, she felt certain, and it all seemed add up that way, but her and Butch... It had only been a week since they last had sex. A week wasn't very long. What if it was Butch's? How awful would that be, tell him he was going to be a Dad but then his brother's baby was born.. She couldn't do that to him. But how long she could plausibly keep this from everyone?

She just felt like she knew it was Brick's baby. Her and Butch had used protection for one thing. Her and Brick had not.

How was the best way to handle this?

She just felt like hiding from the world, shielding herself from everyone and everything.

Less than 48 hours ago, someone had rendered her powerless and violated her. And it had changed everything. Everything felt different, she felt different. She'd not even begun to mentally process what had happened to her, not really, and then she'd had another life changing bit of news handed to her in the form of the sonogram she held in her hand; a baby.

It was all too much, and fight or flight mode was kicking in; all she felt like doing was running away and hiding. She didn't want to face Brick - what if he didn't believe it was his baby? What if he didn't want a baby?

She didn't want to face her family. She didn't want them knowing what had happened, knowing that not only could she not satisfy them by being married with children by the time she was 30, she couldn't even manage to look after herself and keep herself safe.

Blossom felt like she was just drama in their eyes, one thing after the other; everything with Brick, everything with Butch - now this with Jeremy? She couldn't begin to imagine their reactions. The pity, the feeling sorry for her; she had enough of that from them anyway.

She didn't know what to do.

But she did know that when she looked at the sonogram picture in her hand, she got a warm, whole feeling in her chest. And she knew she'd do anything to keep that little one safe.

The pink puff was still standing outside the main entrance to Townsville General - she had walked through the hospital and left near where she worked, to avoid being seen exiting the maternity department by anyone she knew. Her eyes were glued to the picture of the baby, in a haze of overwhelmed love and fear.

Not that long ago Bubbles and Boomer had announced they were expecting. Bubbles was due 3rd September. Blossom was due about 4 weeks before her. When she'd stood there in her sister's lounge and congratulated her, she'd had no idea that she too was expecting as well.

Boomer and Bubbles had been actively trying to become parents and Blossom and Brick had conceived a child 4 weeks before them with no knowledge of doing so.

Would Bubbles be upset with her? Having a child was something Bubbles had planned, had wished for. Blossom wasn't married, or even with anyone, and she would most likely have her child before Bubbles. Would she feel Blossom was 'stealing her thunder?'

She began to argue with herself internally. Of course she wouldn't. The baby in Blossom's tummy was Bubbles' niece or nephew - she'd be thrilled to be an aunt again, regardless of the ins and outs of it.

Either way, she was still nervous to tell her. She was nervous to tell anyone. She had so much to face up to and she didn't want to face any of it. She just wanted to hide for a little while so she could get her head around everything.

The opportunity to hide came to her from the most unsuspected source.

"Oh, is that you Dr Utonium?"

Blossom looked up, glancing around rapidly. She spotted Townsville General's Chief of Medicine, Dr Collins bounding up to her from the entrance, so she hastily stuffed her sonogram photo into her purse.

"Ahh Blossom! I've been trying to contact you! What are you doing down here, it's your day off isn't it?" He asked, smiling fondly at her.

"Oh, I was just coming down to erm, to erm -" She stammered uselessly until he cut in.

"To confirm you'll be heading to Mandeville Hospital for 3 months, I hope? I must say you've cut it very fine, I almost asked Tess if she wanted to go instead. It begins in just over a week and I've not heard from you yet, I was beginning to think that -" Dr Collins began, but Blossom interrupted him.

"No! No, no I'll go. I'll go, of course I'll go. I'd love to - when do I leave?" Blossom cried, seizing the perfect opportunity to disappear, as she so wished she could.

"Ah! Excellent! I knew you wouldn't let me down! You leave on the 8th February. I've arranged you for you to stay at an unused student doctor's accommodation near the hospital. It'll just be you there I'm afraid; your rent will be covered. I won't expect to see you in from now, you'll obviously need time to get sorted and ready to be in Mandeville for three months. You'll be back in Townsville 8th May. Come, come to my office and I'll give you all the details so you can get yourself down there and moved in." Dr Collins cried, gesturing for her to follow.

"Oh okay, I err need to talk to you anyway." Blossom said, pulling the scan photo from her bag.

Bubbles glanced at her bare stomach, cocking her head from side to side, frowning.

"Still no bump." She mumbled as Boomer entered their bedroom, throwing his towel over his shoulder and caressing his wife's smooth bronzed skin.

"You're only 10 weeks, it'll come. Give the little guy a chance!" He smiled, planting a kiss behind her ear.

Bubbles smiled stroking his hair affectionately, but not taking her eyes off her reflection in the mirror.

"Why are you so convinced the baby is a boy hmm?" She asked sweetly, now touching her tummy herself.

"I just know." He smiled. "We'll know ourselves in 10 weeks time. Not that long to wait really."

"It feels like forever." Bubbles moaned. "I just want them here now!"

"Good things come to those who wait. How are you feeling anyway, still sick?" He asked and the blue puff sighed and nodded. She'd not been at work that past week due to it.

The phone began to ring, tearing Bubbles away from staring at her belly. She yanked her t shirt down and tucked the phone beneath her ear. "Hellooo."

"Bubbles, it's me." She heard her sister's slightly stricken voice reply from down the phone.

"Ooh hey Blossom, how are you?" Bubbles asked, sitting down on the bed and watching her husband dress. She pondered her approval, and how gorgeous their child would be as she gazed at him.

"I'm fine, yeah... Listen, I just called to let you know I'm going away for three months with work -"

"Going away? What do you mean?" Bubbles queried, sitting up straight on the bed. Boomer turned to look at her, curiosity etched on his face.

"It's a placement with the hospital. A research project. It's in Mandeville. I told you about it at New Years." Blossom replied, and Bubbles nodded, remembering.

"Oh yeah. That's great." Bubbles muttered, disappointment clear in her voice.

"Yeah... I'll be back on the 8th May. I know it's kind of a long time, so I just wanted to let you know. How are you feeling? You'll have to keep me updated on how the baby is doing." Blossom said, her voice sounding a bit forced.

"Oh right. That is a long time isn't it? And I will. I mean, I have my first scan in two weeks, which you'll miss. And my 20 week scan is the 16th April, you're going to miss that too!" Bubbles groused. "I'll be huge by the time you're back in Townsville!"

"Bubbles it's going to be fine, okay? I'll text you the address, you can post me a scan photo. We can video call - it'll be fine. You don't need me there for it anyway, you have Boomer, and I'm just a phone call away." Blossom assured her.

"But, but I wanted to share it with you guys. Oh Blossom please can't you visit at some point? Three months is so long! You'll be able to come back to Townsville every now and then won't you?" Bubbles asked, saddened at the thought of not seeing her sister for so long.

Blossom hesitated from the other end of the phone. "I don't know exactly yet. I don't know what my hours will be. Look, I might be back at the end of March beginning of April. I'll just have to see how things go. But listen please don't be upset. I'm not missing your pregnancy. That baby is still my little niece or nephew whether I miss three months or not, right?"

Bubbles smiled heartily. It was nice to have Blossom making her feel better, just like she always used to. "Of course! Ohh you'll be the best Aunty."

"What about Buttercup?"

Bubbles scoffed. "Oh come on, she's going to teach my child all Jay's bad habits and laugh about it, you know it!"

Blossom giggled on the other end, and it warmed Bubbles heart a little. She had a lovely laugh and she hadn't heard it in a long time. "You're probably right. Anyway, I better get going. Good luck with your scans and I'll see you soon. Keep me updated and call me on my cell if you need me."

"I will. Have fun Blossom. Look out for cute doctors there!" Bubbles gushed, and Blossom laughed again. They said their goodbyes and Bubbles hung up the phone, beginning to explain to Boomer what the phone call was about.

"I think Blossom needs to get away from my brothers for awhile." Boomer said, now fully dressed, his golden hair still slightly damp. "It'll be good for her. She likes her work anyway right, so focussing on that's gotta be a plus for her."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Wasn't I lucky to end up with the only charming, adorable, kind-hearted member of the Rowdyruff boys?" Bubbles cooed, looking up at him through her long lashes.

"You most certainly were! I'm a rose between two thorns!" Boomer joked, kissing his wife appreciatively.

r&r (: